I can feel myself having changed although my actions having necessarily changed. I can’t hold on to the past anymore. I don’t have any desire for nostalgia. I keep thinking of this quote from Eddie in Limitless
“Only problem… if I wasn’t moving forward, I felt like I was going to explode.”
I feel a lot like I did when I was running the original version of Dragon Reborn St 1 almost four years ago. Losing interest in a lot of things. I don’t feel bad about myself as much but I feel like I’m also trying to figure out exactly what it is I want and what I enjoy despite any external influence. What it is that makes me who I am.
I have always felt I have been easily swayed into thinking about or trying to enjoy certain things even though I knew in my heart that whatever it was wasn’t for me.
That’s what I feel on DR:Phoenix, it describes the feeling exactly, I couldn’t wrap it in words. Thank you.
Ran a third three minute loop last night out of curiosity. Bad idea. Feeling really anxious this morning. I guess that means my sweet spot is somewhere between six and nine minutes
Generally really enjoying how I feel with this minus the recon. I can feel the negativity , envy, anger, resentment, pessimism, distrust, and self loathing slowly slipping away. I am noticing my thought patterns changing. Once in the last week I found myself say to myself that I apparently don’t deserve wealth and happiness in my life. I knew how the whole sentence went from the thousands of times I’ve said it to myself before now. I was able to stop myself mid sentence and switch it to “Not Yet”.
Any time I notice myself repeating negative thoughts I instantly say " I love myself " repeatedly for the next few minutes. Even if I don’t really feel that way I still say it. When I was feeling anxious this morning I have been saying " I love myself " repeatedly for a few minutes every time a bit of anxiety shows up.
I got the idea from a book by Kamal Ravikant.
Even the way I provide input and advice is changing
Going through some weird but cool changes. I have found especially over the last couple of months that I find it difficult to relate to or want to emulate anyone. I don’t see it as a bad thing. I feel that it’s me trying to figure out exactly what is best for me. True authenticity. I don’t want to copy or rehash something other people are doing or have done.
I don’t know if feeling this way is because of my age , the work Love Bomb is doing, or a combination of both.
I experienced something similar when I first ran stage one of Dragon Reborn. I didn’t go beyond stage one out of some weird fears which is a big reason why I am excited for Dragon Reborn to be updated with NSE. I feel that by running Love Bomb now , Dragon Reborn in the near future, and Khan Love and War that I should have a clear vision of who I am and what exactly it is that I want.
Sounds to me like you’re starting to discover, that there’s a real James, an individual, not a NPC.
That needs a lot of self love.
I have to drop my listening time down to one or two minutes total for each of the three titles. Feeling super anxious today . I was sort of hoping that I could stay at three minutes but that apparently creates crazy recon. As much as I don’t want to I am going to do with just one minute for each title.
I was seriously thinking I might make faster progress if I could bump up the listening time. Nope. A bit frustrating but I’m not sure what else to do. It always feels like I start getting something going and then try to push beyond that only for my subconscious to say " not yet buddy. You have to be patient and take the time necessary no matter how long that is" .
There’s that word again " patience ". It’s making me feel a bit crazy at times. I just really hope that this is all worth it eventually.
The subs are doctors and we are patience 
You are the doctor, the patient and the scalpel.
The sub is more like the teacher that gives advice in the background.
Subs are a superior tool, but it’s actually us doing the hard work.
I’m so angry today. Frustrating knowing that all of this could take a long time. All the while my life just keeps going no matter how much work I do or actions I take. A lot of times I feel like I’m somehow missing something. That I’m not seeing something that’s obvious to others.
I just remembered I have been getting the best results when I run only thirty second loops. I guess that’s what I have to do. This feels like it’s going to take forever.
I’m not sure how else to feel other than frustrated. I will be 56 in a month and a half and here I am trying to build a base or foundation to grow on while other people my age are discussing possible retirement. If shit doesn’t change soon I will probably be stuck working until I die.
Those are some dark gloomy disempowering thoughts… that aren’t going to help you at all.
If I recommend you a book, would you read it and actually implement it?
Sure. Why not?
Here you go. There is a reason why I’m recommending this specific book. We don’t need to even talk about it after this. If you give this book a chance, you will see changes that could drive growth for the rest of your life. I’ll leave it at that. Ball is in your court.
Thank you. I will get it now and start reading it today
Don’t just read! Implement!
You’re not alone with this.
I’m 34 and didn’t have a proper job yet.
Sometimes I feel like a utter failure as member of society.
But then I look at the bright site. I went through a major ton of shit in my life, and I’m on a very good way clearing it out for good. Then I can finally enjoy Life.
See what I did? I made a condition for being happy. That’s bullshit. There’s so much to enjoy if I allow myself to.
Same for you. Look at what you went through. And then look at your development since NSE. That’s huge. And you’re gaining momentum every day.
Microloop LB until you can handle cranking it up, and you won’t recognize yourself anymore. Or rather, you won’t recognize your old self anymore, thanks to NSE.
