PP seems bigger somehow.
Ok not bigger. Just longer when not in use.
It’s a “grower not shower”
The conscious guidance I’ve been thinking about is so it’s bigger when limp. To just get hard instead of growing too.
Same length. Then I’ll consider biggering it after.
I ran my stack today. I forgot that yesterday was the “new” Day 1 (since I replaced BV1ZPV2 custom with Genesis: Mogul for the time being).
So today was Day 1.5
Ran the stack before heading upstairs to work this morning.
No recon whatsoever on this stack so far. I just feel better, subjectively. Calmer, less stress, and so on.
The person who was responding to my aura yesterday was again (or still?) today, but more so.
Talking at times about seeing us being together. It’s ahmazing and awesome seeing how fast this stack is showing up “in the real world”.
This is the first time ever that I’ve run Heartsong and not had recon whatsoever.
I’ll keep up with the stack, but not going to do or say anything re: the other person, because I want to see if the aura/effects/whatever fade once the cycle is over.
There’s a definite connection there, but we’re both “being good”.
Historically, I’ve noticed that romance subs actually work better/faster for me overall than money subs do.
But this time is different. I’ve got Genesis: Mogul in the stack. I was already reading “The Tao of Charlie Munger” before starting this stack, but now I’m reading more at a sitting. And reading faster too.
I also tonight started reading “One Million Followers” by Brendan Kane.
Too early to tell if it’s good or not. Was reading the intro chapter and felt suddenly like I should journal the events of today.
The Brendan Kane book is one the wife saw on Amazon whatever year it first came out, and figured I’d be interested in it. I’ve just now finally got it from the local library system where we live now.
Seems like so much change on the horizon, if I allow it to happen. That’s where my challenge will be. Deciding once and for all if I’m going to become the person who has the romantic encounters he wants or not.
Bedtime now.
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I’m at the point, based on previous chats with @Geoff, that I’m soon gonna be ready to explore Ascension+GLM together again. Will make a custom with those 2 cores.
I MAY stack Ascention with GLM:C for a cycle first to see how that compares to when I ran Ascension and GLM before.
Ascension and GLM seemed to get this grocery store girl (I call her Annabelle on here) to talk to me way easier, more open. Borderline flirty.
I’d need to test out Ascension and GLM:C before making a custom of those.
I think stacking Ascension and GLM(whichever one) custom with Heartsong and IrresistiBILL would help me level up more.
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I was telling a couple friends offline yesterday and today how I’ve yet to really see something I can attribute to G:M or my BV1ZPV2 custom except reading the books faster/longer that I’m reading.
Well, wife and I got back to the room today and I grabbed a luggage cart thing to carry our grocery haul to/ the room.
When I was getting the cart, I asked this older guy sitting in the lobby (He is always here sitting in the lobby most days of the week for a bit. Not quite sure the story).
I asked if he knew if anyone had claim to the cart, and he said “No, but I’ll gladly rent it to you for $25 if you’d like” 
Anyway, I laughed and said “THAT’S why you’re always here. Just waiting for business opportunities like this one!”
Took the stuff up, brought the cart back down.
I said “It’d be cool if these things could drive themselves back to the lobby when we’re with it”.
Then we got to talking about the luggage carts in airports where you can rent them and put them back in the stalls when done.
Then we somehow started talking about investing. He told me some stories of his experiences investing. He proceeded to tell me about how “Angel Groups” work. I’d only ever heard of private angel investors.
The guy got me thinking about investing in general.
Cool dude. willing to talk about all sorts of stuff.
Gave me some pointers on novel ways of keeping my feelers out for better-paying jobs.
Has even offered to get me info on applying to a local electronics company which is a national brand.
Investing knowledge, possible mentor manifestation, and other stuff I’m sure I’m blanking on, all in one conversation.
I ended up being in the lobby for over 2 hours talking to him. Forgot/lost track of the time. Wife was upset since I was meant to take the cart down and come back up. oops.
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I replaced G:M with the new Emperor.
One of my biggest “wealth ceilings” Is lack of follow-through in several areas of life.
So building a core of resilience makes sense to me.
If I lose too much from dropping G:M, I’ll add a microloop of it back in.
While I’m doing my best to stick to recommendations, I still always trust my intuition more, when it comes to my goals and how to get there.
Day 1:
New Emperor (TNE)
Heartsong
IrresistiBILL
5 minutes each
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Reading this got my own New Emperor in my head talking to me
I was nervous about dropping Nouveau R.I.C.H. because of “losing out” on the manifestation. Which is a bogus concern since the manifestation stuff is in all those new titles.
But the voice that pops in says “What’s more important? Manifesting the money? Or developing the skills to make the money?”
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So when I ran the stack today, it was right after waking up. New Emperor first.
Found myself visualizing/imagining values sex acts with various women I find attractive.
I still had the hypnopompic theta going. So it was easy as hell to imagine it. Felt real etc.
Wonder why my brain goes right to sex stuff even when running Emperor.
@SaintSovereign may be interested to know my sense/perception of time was skewed much like in the original ZP testing.
Each 5-min loop seemed at least twice as long to me. Might be related to having just woke up so it being easier to “zone out” while listening.
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Feeling recon sadness. I’m thinking it’s not so much about “healing” inner issues. And more that I’m just sitting here in the recliner in my hotel room not doing anything.
That might be what the deal was with G:M sadness on Sunday. I was at work just responding to emails and phone calls. And it was a slow day at that.
So I just had YouTube playing my “workplaylist” of songs.
And some of the songs in that are from a time I was sad about a lot of things.
Trigger songs.
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What is hypnopompic theta, a brainwave track?
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Hypnopompic is what it’s called making the transition from sleep to awake. The “border” between the two.
Hypnogogia is the same but going from awake to asleep.
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What’s the difference between hypnopompic and hypnagogic?
edit: you answered as I was posting haha
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Thx for the explanation, first time i hear/read it
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More recon. Sadness kind. I’m just FEFT tapping as it comes up. Very manageable
Day 2: Rest/Processing
Talking with @TheEmpress about LME and how it’s helping with her kids, I started wondering if I should give it a go at some point. My son is 24, but I find that he still annoys me with stuff he talks about (non-stop, I’ll add) and I don’t like that it annoys me.
He’s always trying to involve me in his projects, and it’s all stuff I have zero interest in.
It wouldn’t be bad if it were occasional. But he rambles on and on (has a supposed bipolar diagnosis now so is on what some would call the manic/high stage).
So maybe LME will help me relate to him better, even though, from what I’ve read, LME is more for when your kids are still in the house. Couldn’t hurt to give it a cycle at some point, though.
Also on my mind is probably recon from Heartsong being in the same stack with Emperor and IrresistiBILL.
Took the wife to work today (got a cashier job at the local grocery store). On the way back, she sent “Damn Forgot my vitamin water in the fridge.”
And usually I’d be annoyed, but today, I just said “I’ll bring it to you.”
Then said “Actually, I’ll go to the other store that has the big ones.”
She liked that…texted “oooh”. lol.
Bought one and took it to her at her store.
While I was waiting (She was checking out customers), I watched her work, and felt proud of her for doing what she’s doing. She really can’t stand for long without her back hurting like hell. Thanks to giving birth to my son
Then I felt sad, like I could be a better partner somehow. Sometimes wish it could be like before, where I had the job, made the money, so she could stay home.
But that’s where resentment comes into play if I’ve been working all day, come home and she asks me to X or Y around the house, and I’ll say “You’ve had ALL DAY blah blah”.
I’m just feeling some emotional stuff going on really.
I tend to forget sometimes that Emperor isn’t an ALPHA sub per se, it seems more Sigma (been discussed on forum quite a bit).
And over the years, she’s always commented how I tend to “hide” in my office/shop. Or that I’m always busy doing stuff, or try to keep myself busy.
I can’t stand to just sit around unless I’m just tired/resting. Even then I’ll try to read something. Or I’ll just sit there in thought.
And she’ll get annoyed sometimes if she starts talking without warning, and I’m reading or thinking and don’t fully hear or understand what she said. She’ll get annoyed at having to repeat herself. And I’m like “If you see me readng or staring off into the distance, get my attention first before jumping right into what you’re gonna say”.
Anyway, I’m sure I’m a hard person to live with.
So yeah, she doesn’t want/enjoy sex nearly as much as me. Not even close.
Sometimes wish I could just “turn off” that part of me. and I don’t mean Khan Black style transmutation. Just “turning it off” would make stuff easier sometimes. Or so this recon has me thinking.
I think I mostly relate to Tony Stark during the times he’s in the shop, tinkering, creating cool shit.
He isn’t hung up on girls/sex during those times. It just isn’t even a thing for him in those times.
I think I’m just not “husband material” really. I do tend to favor solitude most of the time.
I don’t enjoy traditional “family quality time” shit. Board Games. Watching most TV. Sight-seeing.
Since I already seem sigma-ish/solitary so much as is, maybe Emperor isn’t the title for me. Or MAYBE it’s THE title for me and I just need to let go of some things in life.
I don’t see myself ever getting married again, if I were to end up single. I’ve always been solitary and that suits me.
The other day, I found myself sorta wishing the wife would just find someone better for her and leave me. But that’s most likely because I don’t wanna be “the asshole”. I don’t wanna be the reason shit implodes on itself.
This recon is strong af. It’s gonna be a challenge sticking with this stack. I’ll try, though.
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There is no try. Do or do not. 
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It feel it can help with kids who don’t live at home too. Parents, relatives, etc.
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Side note:
I remember a couple years ago I was working on stuff at the kitchen table, not paying attention to her.
and it was obvious I was engrossed in SOMETHING.
she got horny and wanted it right now. “come fuck me”
of course I got annoyed. and said “Why do you only now want it when I’m busy on something?”
"dunno. Just fuck me:
Now I know why, of course.
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Several times, my daughter has said “You really should spend more time with mom and not in the office or working on stuff all the time.”
And finally the last time she said that, I snapped “Maybe Mom needs to reciprocate once in a while when I try to love on her”
Yes, sadly , I sometimes think of this in term of ROI.
Definite recon. I’ll shaddup for a while now.
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