Reading this got my own New Emperor in my head talking to me 
I was nervous about dropping Nouveau R.I.C.H. because of “losing out” on the manifestation. Which is a bogus concern since the manifestation stuff is in all those new titles.
But the voice that pops in says “What’s more important? Manifesting the money? Or developing the skills to make the money?”
So when I ran the stack today, it was right after waking up. New Emperor first.
Found myself visualizing/imagining values sex acts with various women I find attractive.
I still had the hypnopompic theta going. So it was easy as hell to imagine it. Felt real etc.
Wonder why my brain goes right to sex stuff even when running Emperor.
@SaintSovereign may be interested to know my sense/perception of time was skewed much like in the original ZP testing.
Each 5-min loop seemed at least twice as long to me. Might be related to having just woke up so it being easier to “zone out” while listening.
Feeling recon sadness. I’m thinking it’s not so much about “healing” inner issues. And more that I’m just sitting here in the recliner in my hotel room not doing anything.
That might be what the deal was with G:M sadness on Sunday. I was at work just responding to emails and phone calls. And it was a slow day at that.
So I just had YouTube playing my “workplaylist” of songs.
And some of the songs in that are from a time I was sad about a lot of things.
Trigger songs.
What is hypnopompic theta, a brainwave track?
Hypnopompic is what it’s called making the transition from sleep to awake. The “border” between the two.
Hypnogogia is the same but going from awake to asleep.
What’s the difference between hypnopompic and hypnagogic?
edit: you answered as I was posting haha
Thx for the explanation, first time i hear/read it
More recon. Sadness kind. I’m just FEFT tapping as it comes up. Very manageable
Day 2: Rest/Processing
Talking with @TheEmpress about LME and how it’s helping with her kids, I started wondering if I should give it a go at some point. My son is 24, but I find that he still annoys me with stuff he talks about (non-stop, I’ll add) and I don’t like that it annoys me.
He’s always trying to involve me in his projects, and it’s all stuff I have zero interest in.
It wouldn’t be bad if it were occasional. But he rambles on and on (has a supposed bipolar diagnosis now so is on what some would call the manic/high stage).
So maybe LME will help me relate to him better, even though, from what I’ve read, LME is more for when your kids are still in the house. Couldn’t hurt to give it a cycle at some point, though.
Also on my mind is probably recon from Heartsong being in the same stack with Emperor and IrresistiBILL.
Took the wife to work today (got a cashier job at the local grocery store). On the way back, she sent “Damn Forgot my vitamin water in the fridge.”
And usually I’d be annoyed, but today, I just said “I’ll bring it to you.”
Then said “Actually, I’ll go to the other store that has the big ones.”
She liked that…texted “oooh”. lol.
Bought one and took it to her at her store.
While I was waiting (She was checking out customers), I watched her work, and felt proud of her for doing what she’s doing. She really can’t stand for long without her back hurting like hell. Thanks to giving birth to my son
Then I felt sad, like I could be a better partner somehow. Sometimes wish it could be like before, where I had the job, made the money, so she could stay home.
But that’s where resentment comes into play if I’ve been working all day, come home and she asks me to X or Y around the house, and I’ll say “You’ve had ALL DAY blah blah”.
I’m just feeling some emotional stuff going on really.
I tend to forget sometimes that Emperor isn’t an ALPHA sub per se, it seems more Sigma (been discussed on forum quite a bit).
And over the years, she’s always commented how I tend to “hide” in my office/shop. Or that I’m always busy doing stuff, or try to keep myself busy.
I can’t stand to just sit around unless I’m just tired/resting. Even then I’ll try to read something. Or I’ll just sit there in thought.
And she’ll get annoyed sometimes if she starts talking without warning, and I’m reading or thinking and don’t fully hear or understand what she said. She’ll get annoyed at having to repeat herself. And I’m like “If you see me readng or staring off into the distance, get my attention first before jumping right into what you’re gonna say”.
Anyway, I’m sure I’m a hard person to live with.
So yeah, she doesn’t want/enjoy sex nearly as much as me. Not even close.
Sometimes wish I could just “turn off” that part of me. and I don’t mean Khan Black style transmutation. Just “turning it off” would make stuff easier sometimes. Or so this recon has me thinking.
I think I mostly relate to Tony Stark during the times he’s in the shop, tinkering, creating cool shit.
He isn’t hung up on girls/sex during those times. It just isn’t even a thing for him in those times.
I think I’m just not “husband material” really. I do tend to favor solitude most of the time.
I don’t enjoy traditional “family quality time” shit. Board Games. Watching most TV. Sight-seeing.
Since I already seem sigma-ish/solitary so much as is, maybe Emperor isn’t the title for me. Or MAYBE it’s THE title for me and I just need to let go of some things in life.
I don’t see myself ever getting married again, if I were to end up single. I’ve always been solitary and that suits me.
The other day, I found myself sorta wishing the wife would just find someone better for her and leave me. But that’s most likely because I don’t wanna be “the asshole”. I don’t wanna be the reason shit implodes on itself.
This recon is strong af. It’s gonna be a challenge sticking with this stack. I’ll try, though.
There is no try. Do or do not. 
It feel it can help with kids who don’t live at home too. Parents, relatives, etc.
Side note:
I remember a couple years ago I was working on stuff at the kitchen table, not paying attention to her.
and it was obvious I was engrossed in SOMETHING.
she got horny and wanted it right now. “come fuck me”
of course I got annoyed. and said “Why do you only now want it when I’m busy on something?”
"dunno. Just fuck me:
Now I know why, of course.
Several times, my daughter has said “You really should spend more time with mom and not in the office or working on stuff all the time.”
And finally the last time she said that, I snapped “Maybe Mom needs to reciprocate once in a while when I try to love on her”
Yes, sadly , I sometimes think of this in term of ROI.
Definite recon. I’ll shaddup for a while now.
I just gotta be my sigma self and let everything else be what it is.
Noticing over the last few days that BDLM core is really coming through
It’s bigger and more full when flaccid. Gets hard much faster than before.
I’m a grower, so this tells me either blood flow/arousal baseline is greater (“that’s my secret, Captain. I’m always angry”) or it’s legit growing.
Same end result either way. Though I am consciously guiding toward larger when flaccid.
I’m becoming more aware of my penis as a seat of power. It’s becoming an even larger (lol) part of me then before.
I legit feel more powerful the more I run the S&SX/BDLM custom.
I’m keeping to my stack.
The only change is adding 60- or 90-second loops of Genesis: Mogul.
To get a bit of exposure to the purpose scripting of Genesis and the manifestation scripting of Mogul.
This sounds good.
I’m contemplating between this or keeping LME next stack
Just deleted most of the mindless brain-quieting phone games I used before to keep from having to deal with my thoughts.
This should be fun.
