Recon is fading. For hours today, my brain kept telling me to rub one out to relieve the recon. I resisted. Just a distraction.
Instead I screamed and yelled at everyone and everything. When I was alone.
Every little thing was bothering me.
3 Likes
“Babyish” makes complete sense since I’m on CFW. For me, it’s stripping down my lies and self-delusions, and then I’m without normal “protections”. The babyish feelings surface since I’m unsure how to handle things (when most of what I’ve been doing is not healthy).
I see it as Rebirth (which is in CFW) burning up your bad stuff. Good stuff grows out of the ashes.
5 Likes
That recon was worse than when I did DR1 and Khan1 in the same day.
May as well run DR at this point 
3 Likes
I had not realized rebirth scripting was in that title.
Explains a lot about my CFW stack last year. 
1 Like
No!!!
2 Likes
The free experimental cfw, the one you used, used Regeneration alone. I used it and I didn’t last long on it since it triggered heavy recon. I also had similar effects with Regeneration solo a couple of times, all before ZP came out.
The newly released CFW, the paid version, doesn’t use Regeneration. Instead, it uses both Limit Destroyer and Rebirth to address those issues. They updated the scripting in both, and the sales page says it even has a healthy dose of Sanguine in it.
I’ve not had bad recon on the new CFW. I’ll sense it working, I’ll feel a little uncomfortable for an hour or so, but it’s absolutely nothing like pre-ZP builds. Not even remotely close.
I don’t have that “I just have to live with this shit” thinking. Not at all. I have hope. I have choices when I have pain. I’m not stuck on some painful subliminal wondering when it’s going to get better. No, this is a beautiful experience. It’s not always comfortable, but dangit, I am not STUCK bumping up against old pain every single hour.
In my mind, I know I’m slowly rebuilding my life and how I approach it. I’m relaxing more. This is a real gem if you’ve had negative experiences with healing subliminals.
And sorry for the advertisement…but not really. This has been my actual experience on the new CFW. 
3 Likes
I was searching for a post in here and ended up re-reading my entires from the cycle and washout on EoG1, Ascension, GLM
Reading those entries dissolved any vestige of mucky feeling from today.
It’s amazing that that wasn’t even that long ago and I forgot some of the stuff that happened.
THIS is why journaling is so useful.
After some discussion today with my bestie @TheEmpress and also bouncing ideas off @Sage_Ninjistic, I came up with what I think is a nice well-rounded stack to help me.
Ascended Mogul, Primal Seduction, Index Gate: Ultimate Programmer
- Ultimate Programmer because I want to take my software programming skills to the topmost level I can get it. This will include finally learning about Version Control, Git specifically.
- Ascended Mogul because I love Ascension, and Mogul for the money side of things.
- Primal Seduction because Primal Ascension seems to be a powerful combination (looking at results from @Davisnwc ) and Sex & Seduction because hella skills.
I found out fairly quickly that LBFH and CFW were a bit much at once for me. That might be partially because Heartsong also has its own brand of healing in there.
I’ll revisit that particular stack when I have a solid week of time off to kill 
DO IT
6 Likes
Don’t bother 
1 Like
I was talking the other day to my wife’s dad’s wife’s niece’s cousin’s husband about some stuff…but he didn’t say anything I hadn’t already thought of before.
2 Likes
I want to make a custom called Kingmaker (Blackjack Foley is a suitable alternative name)
- The fame of Stark, but “behind-the-scenes” fame.
- The networking of HOM.
- The reality awareness of QL.
- The drive of Emperor.
And whatever else.
4 Likes
Behind the scenes fame
Cool.
Reminds me of a ghost writer type thing.
1 Like
This makes me laugh uncontrollably. Usually a great way to get out of an emotive funk (or feel-bad recon)
2 Likes
Yup
A bridge of incidence!
I don’t do Neville anymore
Still on a Neville break.
1 Like
It’s Jess not Neville 
1 Like
I AM the goddamn King. And when the King speaks, people…
2 Likes
Doesn’t that totally contradict this post? Isn’t your custom called Kingmaker?
1 Like
I’ve never made a custom called Kingmaker. Yet.
3 Likes
Christina Aguilera song came on just now
Wife says “let me guess. She wants you too?”
And I said “she would if given the opportunity”
6 Likes
I think your alpha attitude is now khan-plete and in-khan-testable!
3 Likes