I found it not desirable from my end. Moving into major change without having a clear mental focus discouraged me from maintaining it. One was all emotional and perspective driven (healing), and the other was primarily unemotional and logical (small business mindset). There was no real overlap.
For me, to have focus is similar to holding great treasure. I had not appreciated this before.
@RVconsultant if/when Genesis/LD does the business, I’d give Ascension the usual 28 day cycle. Even then it’s hard to say when to continue after that. I guess having a self criteria like:
Hadn’t really considered other alpha titles - does leadership/being a hardass even seem viable yet? Would something like CFW or LFBH be a good pre-alpha sub?
I would think CFW would be a constructive title for preparing one for leadership. I think that is what it’s designed for. As for LBFH, yes. I found that LBFH leads the feelings of those around me towards acting kind towards others. I didn’t have to do much of anything.
I think the idea that someone has to be a hardass to be a leader/alpha, or to be overtly dominant or masculine to lead is a false idea.
@RVconsultant the idea would be finishing up ST3 alongside maybe Genesis/LD, then run ST4 with something else. But I won’t know exactly what suits a stage until I’m in it. It could be that ST4 is all I need, then a Dragon “ST5” sub to build an alpha foundation. I don’t know because I never got to ST4.
Have to say ST3 is healing and firming me up to a good degree, giving me peace of mind, a new, less chaotic environment and a bigger wage packet. But there’s always more to come.
Sound like you are on the right track.
Although I believe in planning, I think this is wise to be open to this because after a few more weeks of DR, you might have different ideas about what you might want to listen to.
I’ve been consistently avoiding building “self love” up for a good length of time. Why tackle it has on when it’s easier to just believe the worst of who I am. After all, it came from my family, who am I to disagree?
Maybe I’ll try DR3 and DR4 with LBH.
As someone who also struggles with self love I get it.
It’s a process, a long ass process. And I’m of the belief tackling it head on isn’t always the best option. It’s really up to the individual and what they feel is best for themselves. Self love triggers anxiety in me. Running LBFH or love bomb was too much. When components of it are in other titles it’s tolerable.
My point is trust your own experiences. Not hitting self love directly can ironically be a form of self love because you’re looking out for your needs.
This shit is complicated. Each of us has our own life experiences. Sometimes something sounds good in theory, but in practice it doesn’t work for the individual because of their unique makeup.
To add to the self-love challenge, I’ve been on Genesis solo this week, and I’ve clearly noticed a part of me resisting loving myself.
It was like a dominant part of me saying “we don’t do that here” while trying to shut the door to further discussion.
I’m facing some recon today due to it, but this is a rest day. It activates, the opposition rises up, and I’m looking for resolution.
For some people love can be inconsistent or unpredictable as a child. Instead of a comforting thing as an adult it’s a source of pain in all forms.
That dominant part sounds like what they call in IFS a protector. Their job is to utilize what they’ve learned to keep you safe. From the outside looking in it can seem negative, but it’s there for a reason.
Giving CFW a try for one spin a week on top of DR3.
I’m getting up at 4am quite regularly, someone mentioned 4am representing the lungs. I woke up feeling short of breath and feeling sad for something in the past. Don’t know what it could be because on the outside everything is going great. But there’s always something to uncover.
CFW seems to have the Regeneration/LB combo that may contribute to that elusive self-love concept, building it up from the side. I figured it’s not just “self love” that it’s needed, but self love from high above, outside of self. Something that says “I’m higher than your parents and I’m saying you are ok”.
Still unsettled over what to play in the next week when DR4 starts but these mini plays will give a future view.
In fact the ideal combo is a subliminal I’ve been sleeping on, that exists in my blind spot - Sanguine and The Elixir
Why?
Anxiety and being wired, on high alert and expecting the other shoe to drop are my primary states of being (even though it’s now a 3/10 from a full 10/10).
Emotional healing is still a must, but without wanting to be a leader of men. It has to be laced with kindness, as opposed to the Dragon harshness.
Negative thinking - it’s so automatic I don’t even recognise when I’m criticising myself, talking myself down and slagging off others without knowing who they are, thinking that I’m more “perfect” than they are.
Early results:
S:E is working on my trauma in the background, on one loop I feel something being rearranged and challenged. Sanguine has got me relaxing and feeling peaceful and hopeful.
The most impressive result though is that I can confront the elephant in the room… Rejection - self rejectionand the expectation of being rejected by others and stay still feel neutral. Met my partner’s daughter (who was standoffish) and just got on with things. Had another disagreement with my partner and just brushed it off too. I’m just not worried about things like I used to.
The search may be over.
Good stuff. I might have to consider this as well.
I’m with you. I’m running DRLD and it’s been transformative and it has really done a lot to keep me safe. But it gets a little abrasive at times. If Sanguine Elixir had the same sort of “keep the external shit out of your reality” that DRLD has I’d probably run it. But I’ve found there’s something really impressive in the scripting of DRLD that just lets me sidestep potential manipulation or less than great influences in my life in a very organic way. And I find this really important due to the lack of intuitive boundaries I developed as an adult. Number 1 killer of self growth is just being stuck in toxic situations and people.
Anyway I look forward to hearing how SE goes for you.
I think that’s just as important as developing self love, because for some reason, others like to control people for their own needs. Seeing it and sidestepping it early is a good superpower to have, it stops anyone stepping on your own pile of self regard.
Sanguine:Elixir has me really beaming 
@Malkuth talked about having anti-fragile self esteem - being resilient enough so that upsets, disappointments and setbacks doesn’t break your spirit. Both the Sanguine titles achieve this for me.
Unbreakable (almost).
The healing and self respect it engenders is something I’ve never experienced it it’s pure form for a good while. For me it performs the role of the foundation platform better than, say Ascension. Which means that within my own particular makeup, achieving confidence was only a matter of staying positive. Achieving goals and finding purpose is a positivity mindset thing. If only I paid attention much earlier in life… 
You sound amazing.
There’s a deep, smooth, flowing quality to your energy that bespeaks healing. It feels like Inner Depth and Inner Power.
Dragon Stage 4 is now giving me the masculine strength and assertiveness I’ve missed since healing. Whilst Sanguine:Elixir is starting to chip away at my immediate trauma, then it gets to work peeling away the immediately deeper layers to get to the trauma. Honestly it is tough emotionally to look that deep into my psyche for the raw emotions that surface.
I do see the need to add a lot more masculine titles, since I feel very weak as a man and life is kinda forcing me to man up, so I’m already looking at Ascension, GLM and maybe Commander, post Dragon.
Sanguine came through for me yesterday in an unusually busy period at work, I started to get really irritated at the high level of repeat purchases placed, almost compulsively by the customers. Combine this with counting money, making sure underage people do not enter the shop, taking abuse from an underage girl (who asked me if I sucked cock… 
), having a coworker who talks shite non stop… All in all, I could feel the tell tale signs of stress building up within ready to explode.
But Sanguine somehow kept me calm. It’s as if the sub had a circuit breaker to stop the worst happening to me, an emotional flashback. I kept thinking, this nonsense is a one off , this will pass, these customers are complete addicts, my coworker isn’t a bad guy… There were two realities going on side by side, one where I collapse in a tired heap, the other is one where I pass the test with flying colours and build new confidence, with three later eventually winning out.
At the same time I still feel trapped by the system and my relationship with a a chain and ball. I want freedom, more money and less hours. Sanguine can’t help here, but Sanguine:Elixir might. Healing does wonders for overall circumstances.
Every few weeks or months, you make yet another bad-ass evolutionary move that requires me to pull out of retirement this old video that I made for you 3 years ago:
Sanguine and Sanguine:Elixir is the winning ticket. 7 minute shots each.
Looks like I have a good insight into my own psyche and how it got damaged in the first place. Sometimes, all a kid needs is positive encouragement, protection and lots of reassurance when things go wrong. That happens to be the combo of Sanguine and Elixir
Both titles are the thing that is building up and keeping up my level of self confidence. I must have had decades of incessant negative criticism, setbacks and rejections that destroyed my self esteem, now that doesn’t even take place any more. Even being criticised and insulted nowadays shakes me for about 15 minutes, then I’m back to normal.
Before, even the smallest rejection has me in a negative spiral, lamenting on mistakes for years, having a heavy guilty emotional charge to each. Nowadays that doesn’t happen, it’s like, whatever… Making a mistake is not the end of the world, no drama, just be calm about it. Just be calm about it - and I am. Work is long but I’m no longer running around like a blue fly. The ironic thing is, my old workplace, where I’ve got absolutely no credit for tidying up the shops are a complete mess. Oh well…
Is this what self esteem is?
