KHAN + WANTED. Foxdie's Journal

Journals - Major Programs
#142

Khan ST2 - Rest Day - (Days done 6)

  1. First thought of the morning is that I do not feel enough, I am afraid that someone will steal the girl I like and I feel so much neediness towards her.

  2. I have a strong reconciliation. I feel a bad sensation in my chest, I feel desperate and afraid. I need more days off.

#143

@FoxDie Khan stage 1 is good it will really help.

If you need advice on khan contact @pacman

His life changed running 1 loop a week. See how powerful khan is ?

1 Like
#144

@FoxDie
Take your time on Khan and you will definitely enjoy great reward.

1 Like
#145

Of course. Whenever I feel such discomfort, I take extra days off. Iā€™m not in a hurry.

1 Like
#146

Khan ST2 - Rest Day 3 - (Days done 6)

  1. I feel a feeling of insecurity inside me. For every beautiful woman I think of, I donā€™t feel attractive or desirable enough.

  2. Iā€™m doubting myself, who I am, what Iā€™m worth. I donā€™t feel particularly valuable to women. Yesterday I saw a lot of them go by and they were beautiful but I donā€™t feel enough.

  3. I started wondering why I do many things, one of them is because I enrolled in university, it was not my path and yet I chose it.

Even after several days off, a strong reconciliation is still felt with Qv2.

2 Likes
#147
  1. I tried to listen to a loop of Wanted and now I have headache.
#148

Khan ST1 - Day 29
Limitless - Day 1

  1. I want to go back to using Khan ST1 I feel that I still have a lot to heal after I have been in contact with a girl, and then ST2 gave me strong reconciliation.
    Unfortunately that girl was mean to me, she showed me she was a very good girl and she told me she changed thanks to her past mistakes of her but last night she proved me the opposite and she hurted me.

  2. I also started Limitless because I have noticed that since listening to Khan my study focus and motivation has dropped dramatically.

3 Likes
#149

Great, by swithcing to St2 you had this realization and now you donā€™t have to doubt that you need more of St1, good work, you are getting there one step at a time :slight_smile:

3 Likes
#150

Being in touch with this girl has taught me how much I still have to heal and grow.

Good experiences and challenges are needed to allow the sub to start working and this experience made me understand in which direction to go.

1 Like
#151

Khan ST1 - Day 30
Limitless - Day 2

  1. I realized that in my life I have always tried to accommodate the expectations of others, the expectations of girls. I was being sucked into their frame instead of carrying them into mine. They took me into their world instead of taking them into mine. I have never defended my position or my ideas I have always just tried to make the frame of others right. I understood all of this thinking about that last girl I was in touch with, how I kissed her ass on the music she likes and the things she liked and I let her interests and her hobbies carry me and I did them with her. I have never tried to bring her into my world, in places dear to me, in the things I love to do. I let others define my world.
#152
  1. I have been seeing for a few days, looking at the time, numbers like 222, 333, 1313, 1212, 111, etc ā€¦
#153

Khan ST1 - Rest Day - (Days done 30)
Limitless - Rest Day - (Days done 2)

  1. Last time I went to a Latin nightclub for my female friend birthday and I was shocked by how extremely vulgar girls danced with boys, and my friend was one of them, they scrambled her. They were banged like in a porn but dressed. It was so strange to me.
    So I understood about myself: that I have this disgust for things that are too vulgar.
    Could such a thing be a thing to be solved with Khan ST1? Why am I asking this question? Because Iā€™m a guy who isnā€™t capable of fucking a woman on the same night or doing things too hard on the fly, or touching a girl in an extremely sexual and vulgar way, and I wonder if it has to do with some blockage in my sexuality. I wonder if not being able to see those dances is a matter of taste or a sexual block that makes me turn my stomach, as those dances are very related to the concept of sex.
    I also happened to feel disgusted once when two acquaintances of mine wanted to have a threesome with a girl.
2 Likes
#154

Khan is showing you that girls are not perfect creatures. Khan encourages you to drop the black and white thinking. Women are just people that behave on a different framework than men. Kuddos man for the learning.

Spot on mate.

I think Khan ST1 is doing a great job on you questioning your boundaries and it is great if you learn what you like and dislike.
You dont have to like everything though in order to feel healed. I rarely do ONS (only if I have like a perfect connection and I am really horny), and I am not into swingers clubs or threesomes (though I did it once). I found fun latin nights because it is an accepted way for girls to behave dirty, and I love when girls behave dirty :sweat_smile:

I would say make sure about WHY you really feel that way.
Is it ā€œI am mad because I canā€™t get anyā€?
Or is it ā€œit doesnā€™t fit my model of what society should beā€?
Or is it ā€œI dont want my girl to behave like this, even with meā€? Because if you are running a sub like Khan, at some point you WILL want/have to touch your girl in a vulgar(not sure what you mean by that) and sexual way.

Stick with ST1 and keep getting exposed to new situations and challenge yourself!

1 Like
#155

Im sitting on a similar boat like you,
Comin from a mother that shamed me for sexual interest early on and smoking weed for 10 years that made me shy and with social anxiaty.

Was liked by the girls for my looks and friend zoned later on, coz of ma lack of those skills.
Sometime i could do it when i was drunk

Im 35 and never had a girlfriendā€¦
Overcame social anxiaty with hypnosis and mostly of subs.
Was needy and too nice because im a good guy comin from a family with a good heart.
But thats who i am

Khan helped me with my neediness and what other people think of me.
Maifested a good jobā€¦
I just cared for my life the last year and didnt think that much about women.

Now im starting to handle the other problems i have

Im runnin
AM with Daredevil
And PS with SM

Seeing light changes and am optimistic that all will fall in place

Trust the processā€¦khan can help you with that

Still need some action to do but healing comes first

Second week right now

4 Likes
#156

Thank you!

I Think, first, I was really attracted to my friend and in my head was seeing her like an angel so after seeing her in that way I was disgusted. Second the dance itself was too much for me and I am not used to things like this.

I also great about threesomes and things with girls but many times just thinking about doing them in reality makes me a little uncomfortable, because Iā€™m not used to these things, in my head I still see myself as a nice guy, a gentleman. Being sexual to exaggerated limits is almost taboo for me. If only I imagine I am in a similar situation, I am not saying that I would die, I would handle the situation but I would feel a little uncomfortable and I would not be able to enjoy the moment.
And on the contrary, if a future woman of mine was vulgar with me and dirty with me in bed, she would please me, but I still donā€™t know how I would react emotionally in that situation.

#157

Thatā€™s wonderful man, I am really happy for you!

I will do a lot of action and trust Khan and the process. Thank for the encouragement.

1 Like
#158
  1. I seem to forget everything Iā€™ve been reading lately. My short-term memory is sucking.
#159

How long do you plan on running stage 2?

#160

Maybe two month.

#161

Sounds good, its an important stage

1 Like