KHAN + WANTED. Foxdie's Journal

Journals - Major Programs
#222

Thank you! You are welcome.

#223

Ascension - Day 1
Limitless - Day 12

  1. I started Ascension as a preliminary foundation stage for Khan ST2. The first sensation experienced after a while of listening is a feeling of heaviness in the chest and a slight feeling of nausea.

  2. Watching the news and seeing people working as employees behind PCs, I realized that if I ended up like this I would only be a servant of the system. This is something that makes me bitter, I want to be free.

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#224

so you’re going to do ascension for 2 or 3 months to help you pave the way for stage 2? I was thinking about doing the same thing. I’ll be following this very closely…

#225

I begin with one month first, then if I need more I will listen more.

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#226

Ascension – Day 2
Limitless – Rest Day – (Days done 12)

  1. Lightly dazed, thoughtful and I feel a great need for female presence. I want to touch a girl, kiss her, whisper in her ear that I want her. I feel the desire of a woman. I also feel a sence of dissatisfaction.

  2. I dreamed that my teacher was taking notes for me during his lesson. At the end of the lesson he gave them to me and I immediately noticed that he left a column of space on the left divided with a line (was it for taking extra notes or observations on the associated clipboard?). Is this an important suggestion from my subconscious?

#227

I think so. Maybe it wants you to try a different method of taking notes. I recall being taught a note taking method just like that but I didn’t really like it

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#228

I found it. It was the Cornell method

https://www.utc.edu/enrollment-management-and-student-affairs/center-for-academic-support-and-advisement/tips-for-academic-success/note-taking

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#229

Yes, I read about it before.

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#230

Ascension - Day 3
Limitless - Day 13

  1. I had a strange dream about sex. I was left with a little sense of pleasure and a little bitterness from that dream. I think in the dream we were trying to have sex but there was a fight before, I think I was bitter about that.

  2. It made me uncomfortable to bargain with the guy with the washing machines today. From this story I understood that when someone proposes something to me I can’t argue, I really feel fear in contradicting others and above all the authorities. I have to learn to be more of a man to have more balls and to embrace the sense of discomfort.

  3. I feel like shit, the same feeling as when someone deeply disappoints you.

#231

Ascension - Day 4
Limitless - Day 14

  1. I keep feeling tired and listless. I feel slightly depressed because everything makes me sick and especially the weather and the change of season makes me feel uncomfortable. I hate university and leaving the house, I don’t want to see anyone, I don’t want any human contact, I prefer to be alone for now.
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#232

Do your thing take whatever alone time you need

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#233

Ascension - Rest Day - (Days done 4)
Limitless - Rest Day - (Days done 14)

  1. I’ve gotten very passive lately and am waiting for some magic from the subs, but I forgot that I should act like they weren’t there, I don’t have to sit still and wait for anything.

  2. When I think about the invitation I gave to a girl the other day I feel I was wrong, because I don’t feel ready to go out with a girl yet, it makes me feel uncomfortable, I wouldn’t enjoy it. By proposing that date I took the longest step, it is something futile for others but I still can’t manage it. I feel uncomfortable when I think about it. When I picture myself with a girl, hugged, I feel a little uncomfortable as if the time has not yet come. The only positive thing is that I did an action, I can’t just say “not yet” forever, right?
    I want to find someone with whom I can be comfortable and not think too much or try hard to make a good impression or prove something. I just want to be natural, to be myself.

#234

Ascension - Rest Day 2– (Days done 4)
Limitless - Rest Day 2– (Days done 14)

  1. I am trying to digest the idea that money, status and looks are not as important as I have always believed. Looks can help you during the first glance and at the beginning of the interaction because a girl has nothing else to rely on but what really makes the difference is a fucking great personality and balls!

  2. I feel angry, but it feels like a “positive” anger because it turns into some sort of self-confidence, assertiveness and arrogance. I feel powerful and it is strange because it feels like a security that comes from a brute and primitive inner strength.

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#235

You made some great progress already! I’ll be following your journal. :slight_smile:

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#236

Thank you!

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#237

Ascension - Day 5
Limitless - Day 15

  1. Seeing the photo of a girl I know kissing with a guy, I got angry and asked myself “why do they do it and me not ?!”. I am frustrated and angry.

  2. I sleep too much lately.

  3. I am at 6 days of no PMO and my sexual desire is skyrocketing.

  4. I happened to read casually a post on reddit that comes close to my recent philosophy of using only inner game in seduction without the use of techniques, only natural. It almost seems like a manifestation / synchronism.

  5. I have no desire to study, on the contrary I feel repulsed

  6. I feel anxiety and discomfort, and need desire for a girl.

  7. I’m noticing that I don’t feel like a grown man, I still feel like a teenager and I believe it comes from a lack of life experiences. So far I have only studied, I have not worked much, I have not dated women for a lot of time and I have never done that thing that makes you become a man, sex. I lacked the experiences to be able to say that I grew up and when it comes to women I can’t feel capable. What a frustration.

2 Likes
#238

Ascension - Day 7
Limitless - Day 16

  1. I always wake up groggy during this period whether I sleep a lot or sleep little. What a nuisance!

  2. I hate this time of year it almost constantly makes me feel uncomfortable and I don’t feel like doing anything.

  3. I am despising the falsity of instagram because no one there shows who they really are, only a distorted and not real version of themselves is shown.

  4. I did some research on what seduces women and what matters most between looks and self-confidence, to remove some inner doubts. I believe Ascension is helping me look for these things. It’s guiding me.

  5. I was thinking about a flow state where after being fortified on a subconscious level by the subs, we let go of the command and we trusted blindly the subconscious and almost let it do everything to attract for us everything we want.
    I can imagine the concept but explaining it is a bit difficult. It can see it like this: imagine that we are children (our conscious mind) being held by the hand of an adult (our subconscious mind positively reprogrammed). In general terms we have control over this adult and we are the ones who carry him around and make the decisions even though we are the children, we could make different decisions from him but this would create a bit of “resistance”. If we on the contrary trust the adult, who knows what we want and where to take us to get those things and tells us what to do and say, this is the state of flow I am talking about in which we follow the current of the subconscious and everything seems natural and not forced.

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#239

That’s interesting you should say that. For a couple of years, I used to experience some really nasty bouts of anxiety around October/November. It was almost like clockwork.
Thankfully, I was able to resolve the root cause of it, and now I’m pretty much free of anxiety attacks.
As far as waking up groggy, this time of year… that’s an interesting one.
Are you getting enough sun?
Do you find that your activities are different this time of year?
Diet change this time of year?
What’s different about this time of year other than the season change? The answer to this question could be your solution.
Best of luck!

2 Likes
#240

The only thing that make me feel uncomfortable I think is the change of temperature and change of day light duration, where I anchored to it some negative feelings. The other things like diet, sleep cycle, acc… remain the same to me.
In previous post I talked about how this period make me think about when I was kind at school and other things rooted that cause me anxiety, I think this must be the problem.

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#241

This report is from yesterday:

01/10/21
Ascension – Rest Day– (Days done 8)
Limitless – Rest Day– (Days done 17)

  1. The wound I had from a girl of the past has reopened. If for a moment I wanted her again, seeing that she was advertising a guy made me nervous and all the memories of why I despised her have now resurfaced.

  2. I have great anxiety and discomfort. I feel unwell

  3. I dreamed I was fixing my laptop with a guy, who was half ruining it and pissed me off.

  4. My texting mindset leaves a lot to be desired. I think too much about what to text and I think too much about the message after it has been sent, plus in the back of my head my focus remains waiting for a message, it is too needy. I want to be more spontaneous and think less about the texts sent.

  5. I slept 8 hours but I feel tired. I wonder if it’s because of Ascension or Limitless, or the two.

  6. I think I have bored to death a girl I was texting to, my texts are empty and take only value from her. I have to stop texting to girls when I am in a needy state like today.

  7. Today I felt a strange mixture of negative emotions.

  8. Seducing women is so complicated for me. I feel such frustration. I always screw things up. What is the secret of success with women ?!

  9. There was a girl with whom I had a different mood in texting, I was indifferent and everything seemed to flow, albeit slow. With the today girl, on the other hand, I let myself be fooled by expectations. I saw her follow me back on Instagram and so I expected something from her, that she might like me, while I was texting to her it all seemed so forced and unnatural, consequently needy and boring texts came out. I begin to believe that the philosophy behind the anti-method (search it on Reddit guys) is true: acceptance of the state of mind and doing nothing to avoid “forcing something”, at which point one becomes outcome independent and acts naturally and without need.

  10. My thinking is too PUA-ish, I think too much in terms of attraction, reward/punishment, etc… It’s too toxic to me, holy shit!

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