KHAN + WANTED. Foxdie's Journal

Journals - Major Programs
#202

Khan ST1 - Rest Day - (Days done 39)
Limitless - Rest Day - (Days done 40)

  1. Since last night my motivation has increased due to an intense energy that I feel like a fire in my chest. I feel my self-esteem increasing, my desire increasing, and what I want is “power”. I feel a desire for power, for strength, I feel a desire to improve and grow. More athletic body, stronger mind, more alive spirit, I want to let out my latent inner powers and a character that comes to mind as a model for this goal is Yujiro Hanma from the Baki the grappler series, who fully depicts the concept of physical strength , mental strength and divine ambitions. I think a real life character similar to Yujiro is Arnold Schwarzenegger, another great model.

  2. Improved motivation in study. I have studied all day long.

  3. I texted a girl who I approached days ago. In my head I hoped that she was nice and that she would answer me warmly. I was a little scared before texting her and then I wrote the first message. She replied but doesn’t seem very interested. I’m still not sure of anything but something inside of me feels like it’s broken. I feel sad and bitter or sorry or maybe what I feel is a mixture of sadness and despair. I’m not as strong as I thought this morning because I came to wish with all my heart that she only had female friends and no male friends in her life, that her few hundred followers meant she had no social life and friends, all to feel like her. and feel that I could be wanted by her if she were desperate, because this is exactly what I feel, a few friends and zero women in my life. This is precisely the problem, the fact that I believe that a normal girl would never choose me and that to choose me she must be a looser and needy, like me.
    The moment she no longer answered me, a thousand thoughts went through my head: have I done something wrong? Am I the problem? Is my profile weird with the new profile picture?
    A simple thing like texting a girl has made me feel uncomfortable and now I feel like I have a little bit of fear and I don’t know if she will answer again and if anything will ever happen between us. I would like to meet her. I don’t know what’s going to happen now. My path is still long to reach the level of Yujiro Hanma. I need power, I want more power, more… power…!
    I must not let the first difficulties stop me. I have to be better than this.

  4. By now people know that I am not capable as maybe I give the impression when they know me. I’m sorry a lot to not living up to people’s expectations. I know I shouldn’t give a shit about what others think but it hurts me, because some people maybe believe that I’m great because I’m nice, or charismatic because it seems like I’m not afraid of anything or great with women just because they saw me make a couple of approaches and have kissed (badly) a girl at my birthday. The truth is that I am not all of this, I could be, but I am not all of this, I am afraid, and a lot, every day, and even now after texting a girl.
    I’m sorry a lot because I may have disappointed a lot of people, but I should don’t give a fuck.
    Who knows why it hurts me not to live up to expectations.
    After that, I feel that I think I owe something to others, but it doesn’t have to be like this!

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#203

  1. I understand now why I feel all this sadness. That’s exactly what I felt when I left the club where it was the birthday party of the girls zi liked, some time ago. A strong feeling of grudge in the chest and a huge lump in the throat. At that moment I was blaming her but the truth is she was just a scapegoat and all that grudge was directed at me, because I wasn’t good enough or handsome enough to seduce her and make her mine, when instead some fucking asshole guy had attracted her only by existing. I was angry with myself not her, and now I’m feeling the same emotions, after texting that girl because I’m angry with myself, I blame myself for the fact that if it goes wrong or if it has gone wrong it is because I wasn’t good enough.

  2. I feel a kind of relief in my chest after making the above points.

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#204

I feel like you and i are searching for the same endpoint and i can understand how you feel because i still feel like that at times but its way better than it was before. All i know from reading your posts is that if you stick with this and dont give up you WILL get there. The fact that you care enough to grow and evolve and are here using these subs as a means to grow speaks volumes on how youre willing to do what it takes to reach the next level.

I can also see that Recon is definitely present within you at the moment but that too will pass and you come out a little bit stronger every time. I know because i ran st1 for 2 months and it seriously sucked whenever i was in social settings and i just wasnt attractive due to the healing and recon. But now those same people in that circle are looking up to me now because i have grown and now im the one choosing not to hang with them because they arent on the same wavelength as me. Im willing to bet a year from now youll be saying the same.

I know youre deadset on running khan st1 and i think thats a fabulous choice but i would strongly consider running Ascension right after your healing because this power you seek will start showing up with Ascension and quickly itll come. Youll build youre confidence and self esteem up with it which im sure is a must if youre trying to get women.

Good luck to you Foxdie your day will come!:blush:

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#205

It is very good to hear that you have made great progress, and it is motivating. I also thank you for encouragement, I will not give up.

You say to use Ascension after Khan ST1, so you intend to add it to my Khan ST2 + Limitless stack? I’m afraid of adding too many subs and messing up my subconscious with too many inputs. What do you think about it?

#206

Khan ST1 - Day 40
Limitless - Day 11

  1. I had two dreams. In the first one I had a party at my house, I don’t remember much, but my house was very big, not the same one I live in now, I think the dream centered on a girl. Then I found myself in my room with someone talking. I remember that during the party I was thoughtful and looked at my house.
    In the second dream I was elegantly dressed and went out with two girls. One of the girls, while we were on the promenade waiting, remained attached to me and continued to hug me and tell me with doe eyes, flirting with me, “I I love you haha ​​”(we weren’t a couple). I really appreciated her attentions and her touches because they made me feel wanted, appreciated, sought after. My attitude while she was hitting on me was almost one of indifference, I liked her but did not reciprocate. Although she was looking for me and I liked her, I wanted more the other one and she looked jealous that her friend was playing the dead cat with me, they were both going out to be with me. Later we joined others in a restaurant to eat and when we were seated the jealous girl stared at me constantly, in her eyes there was interest.
    Then it happened that all of a sudden this vanished, I found myself teleported somewhere else, alone. I took a bus back to the restaurant and I remember that my father and brother were on the vehicle with me. Arriving at my destination, I moved in a hurry and agitation towards the bar we passed before the restaurant as if I were afraid of losing something, and I think I was afraid of losing an opportunity like that with girls. that they wanted me, but … there was no one, so I ran to the restaurant where we were eating … but they were all gone, the panic took hold in my mind and enveloped my body, I took out the phone and on the notifications I found symbols of ghosts, and I exclaimed “ghosting !?”. I felt a great feeling of anguish, it was all so disturbing. Was I being ignored by everyone? I don’t know they were all gone, in fact the city and the restaurants were empty, just like a ghost town.

  2. I understood that it is us in our minds who value things. When we see a beautiful girl as being of great value it is because in our heads we give her all that power over us, to influence us, to make us feel inferior to not feeling enough. The same thing could happen with a girl who is not necessarily attractive. We are the ones who value people and things. They are just people, like me, with fears and beliefs, yes, maybe some of them feel superior for their beauty or for having (golden syndrome) or for a thousand other reasons, but objectively they remain human beings like me, of flesh and blood, and what they think of themselves, their social status or possessions do not describe their worth as well as being human and should not influence my judgment in evaluating them. We are the ones who value things.

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#207

If you run those 3 in a stack you may very well overload yourself in time. What im suggesting is once you are through with St1 and ready to move on ,Drop Khan and run Ascension and limitless. Or if your main goal is women and you are positive youve healed everything in regards to women with Khan st1 then run Ascension + PSIT

Khan is a super dense sub and believe me st2 isnt all that much better than st1 so you may get more recon. Khan should be ran once a foundation is set and you have pathways of manifestation set.

I had none of those so it was pretty much recon all the time.

Ascension doesnt seem as flashy as Khan but believe me Ascension delivers pretty quickly. Knowing that your confidence and self esteem is rising because of running it is a nice reward while youre on your quest.

If Ascension + PSIT doesnt do it for you then going back to St2 and onwards with Khan can very well be done. I have a feeling youll enjoy the recommendation

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#208

I could run Ascension for a few days as a pre-phase for Khan ST2 if it gives me the right foundation after Khan ST1 treatment, to run ST2 at its best and I will see what effect it will give me. Limitless I can’t remove it, I’m now at the end of my university career and I would like to finish with it because it’s helping me, so adding PSIT could create overload, and I don’t know whether to add it.

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#209

I feel like a few days is too short to really attain what Ascension can offer. And yeah id hold off on the PSIT if you want to stick with limitless then.

I understand the allure of Khan and if you continue running it id recommend no stacking and just doing it solo and i would spend a considerable time on st1 and st2 since those would be thefoundation for the following stages.

When somebody had recommended Ascension to me while i was on khan i had this belief that i would essentially be taking steps back running it but i was wrong you can never really go wrong with it. Specially if you feellike confidence and self esteem need a boost.

Whatever you choose to do good luck with your choice👍

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#210

Would one month of ascension be enough to pave the way for stage 2 Khan, after a person has run stage 1 for several months?

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#211

It would help for sure. I started feeling Ascencion 1.5 months in. Id recommend about 3-6 months on it though and then moving to St2.

If you however do 1 month of Ascension and then St2 then id recommend a lengthy run on st2

Don’t make the mistake i did and rush st1 and st2 if i could go back i would have run each 6 months

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#212

I will be using Ascension as you advised me for long enough until I feel I have reached a good level. Yours is good advice.

The idea initially was just to use only Khan but then I found myself not studying anymore and only looking for and so I added Limitless.

I did 40 actual days of listening to Khan ST1 starting from June with a total of 3 months of listening.

After Ascension and foundation building I will move on to Khan ST2.

Thanks for the advice :smiley:

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#213

Khan ST1 - Washout day 3 (Days done 40)
Limitless - Washout day 3 (Days done 11)

  1. I am noticing that since I have been into seduction community I have seen women in terms of “how should I seduce her?” only as an object to fuck or to have a relationship with, in practice human contact and the pure desire to appreciate the presence of a girl has failed. Instead of enjoying the presence of a girl, trying to get to know her and being genuinely interested in her, I feel robotic, with the phases to do in mind. It makes me feel so artificial.

  2. I was noticing that I have not been able to enjoy human relationships for a long time, I no longer feel the emotions of fun and satisfaction of being with another person. When I think of two people meeting, I ask myself “why do they do it?”, What do they find interesting in each other to entice them to spend time together? What do they feel about being with the other person?
    By now I find myself hanging out with people but social relationships with them are so empty, I don’t feel emotions that make it worth going out again or staying there.
    Is it perhaps a consequence of becoming an adult that of the weakening of pleasure? Being with people has lost taste, unlike when I was a child, and many other things have lost taste. Living a life in which most things don’t give you flavor is not living. Am I thinking so or is it something that happens to everyone?
    I hope at least to find some goal, some mission, that will give me the desire to get up again in the morning full of energy.
    Now that I think about it, one of the very few things that gives me pleasure just thinking about it is the possibility of having a girl I like, the possibility to excel with women …

  3. I was thinking about it before and just what I want is what is ruining me… women. It is not the presence of women or too much presence of women that creates this problem, on the contrary it is the total lack of them that is ruining me and has ruined me. Leaving aside the past various depression (which fortunately I no longer feel it now) and self-acceptance problems all due to female rejection, I have brought all my focus and mental energies to women, focusing on them has had strong consequences on other fields of my life. One of the consequences I have already mentioned is the inner one and self-acceptance. Another consequence was my lack of motivation and focus for university. If I just summarize the summer and notice that after June I didn’t do anything in academics terms, I just went out in hopes of finding , and yes, it had its fruits on one side (kissing two girls) but the time wasted in relation to what I got and the mental energies used are too much for so little. Not to forget the girl I spent half on August thinking of which has stolen a lot of time and motivation that I could use for other things. As you can see, a single thought action created a butterfly effect with consequent chain reactions that reduced me to the last moment. I had to study two courses in a month and I failed in both, today.
    Women have been my undoing and I wondered what my life would be like if I had the girls I wanted so badly, would there be more motivation to do in life? Would I be as far behind in life as I am now?
    I know that for many it will seem silly that I always mention women and their lack in my life, and they will say “women are not everything in life”, but when you have a total shortage of girls in your life for many years, that sentence begins to lose meaning. I believe that in a part of every man’s life if this were not necessarily full, but at least present with sufficient feminine energy and presence, and above all, sufficient feminine affection, this would positively influence every area of ​​life. I believe that for a man, as for a woman, being able to have the energy of the other sex (or the sex he/she want) around can lead to positive feedback. We humans are meant to be together after all.

#214

Bro have you read the rational male by rollo tomassi?

#215

No, what is it about?

#216

its about internalized natural game @Yazooneh was talking about. It addresses scarcity mindset and shows you the door to the abundance mindset. Helped me immensely in cultivating an abundance mindset.

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#217

Very interesting, it could be useful. Thanks for mentioning it.

#218

Khan ST1 - Washout day 4 (Days done 40)
Limitless - Washout day 4 (Days done 11)

  1. I dreamed of living in a new apartment, I was comfortable there. I could see malls and shops from my huge terrace and I imagined how many possibilities, people and girls I could meet there, it was exciting. In that terrace I was very comfortable, it was square in shape covered on two sides by walls, and those walls made me feel protected. Then I threw the hook of an imaginary fishing rod from the balcony and pulled up a PS3 lol, but I wanted a PS4. Then I went down from the balcony (I was on the first floor so it wasn’t high) and a group of a boy and 3 girls arrived, I sat with them and we talked. I remember that the girls or one of the girls was very attached to me while we were together, in fact our hands were touching. I felt good at the time.
    Later I went away with my mother to take a walk and show her the neighborhood of our new home and we came close to a huge endless desert with red sand. On the way back we got lost and ended up in someone else’s house.

  2. I retexted a girl. I hate when I text girls because I start to feel anxious and worried, it’s weird to explain but I’m tense as if I have to wait for something important (her message, aka her validation). I hate having to feel so obligated to a girl, like I owe her something! For example as I watched a series, in my mind I was afraid of making her wait too long before replying and instead of focusing on the episode, I was thinking about her and what to answer. I think all this comes from the fear of boring her and therefore losing her, because she is the only girl who give me attention, therefore scarcity mindset.
    I wish I could live relationship with women with more indifference, relax and without make it a big deal, as if it were not important.

  3. For a moment today and also the other time I texted that girl (when I was resigned that nothing would happen between us) I felt what it is to feel emotionally detached from a girl, and this allowed me to enjoy more that moment. Feeling detached and not in need was such a liberation, because I could say or text what I wanted without expecting anything in return or without fear of the consequences on her part (that she rejects me or is bored with me), just like you do with a friend or family member. At that point, a genuine and honest desire to start getting to know the other person took place and I really believe that real desire was just the opposite of that robotic feeling I was talking about yesterday when I use seduction techniques. It was a complete feeling of human rapport, relaxation, lightheartedness and a warmth….

#219

I have gotten that feeling before.

This is the way.

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#220

Khan ST1 - Washout day 6 (Days done 40)
Limitless - Washout day 6 (Days done 11)

  1. Imagining the ideal woman, I realized that I would like her to be a good girl, someone with whom I can enjoy the moment and feel comfortable. I don’t want to be with people like the latest girls I interacted with, those are shitty people, toxic to themselves and to others and they will end up destructing theirselfes one day because they don’t know how to escape their depressing destiny of victimhood, and I say that fdo not want to be part of that destiny. No more mentally disturbed women in my life, I just want mentally healthy women to have a healthy relationship with.

  2. My inner worries are slowly fading away and as a consequence I am gaining “peaceful”, “quiet”, “passive” inner security, I don’t know how to define it, but it is a non aggressive self-confidence. If I can associate it with something instead of feeling like a lion or a ferocious tiger, I feel like a monk in meditation, everything is calm inside me, my thoughts and my inner voice.
    These washout days are evolving in a particular way.

  3. I’m texting a girl. Damn she take a lot to answer lol. But let’s talk about my inner state rather: I feel calmer and more indifferent to whether I get her texting attentions from her or not from her, if she is late in texting to me I do not make such a big deal of it as before. Instead of thinking “oh my! I like her, I have to do something to get her attention and not lose it “, I’m more like” I don’t know if I like it yet, I write to her just to try to understand it and see what happens, and for the rest … who cares ". It is a state of mind that allows me not to panic and it’sfortifying, it is good.

  4. In general, for now, I have lost the desire to seek attention from women, I feel more the desire to be in their presence and enjoy the moment with them, as you do with a friend, but with a different feeling naturally. Could it be because I haven’t been in physical contact with one of them for a while? I’ll find out as soon as I’m in the presence of one. I just know that I can appreciate more feminine beauty and their presence when I see an unknown one. Now that I think about it wheb I see a beautiful girl I can fully appreciate her presence in my eyes from a point of view of strength and desire, and a sincere desire arises in me to get to know her and find out what person is inside her. Quite the opposite of before, that is to look at a woman with desperation and be convinced that I cannot have her. Now I’m not convinced I “can’t have her” but I feel better that I have to try to find out, and it is accompanied by a beautiful motivating excitement.

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#221

Great post. Thanks for sharing.

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