Still finding it confusing to adapt back into society. I’m continuously sabotaging my energy levels only to build them back up. I believe this is because it’s easier to relate to people around me when I lower it, I have a tendancy of flying away on imaginary clouds if I stay up there.
In all honesty I do believe I have to find meaningful activities to use that energy on, just haven’t found it yet…
My mood today…
I’ve come to realize that playfulness has always been part of my core personality, just a bit of mischievousness in what I do. And it’s a great way of interacting with the world if you just do it for yourself, because those who don’t respond to it and look at you with the floride-stare you just smile at and continue on. But those who respond to it you exchange a brief moment of joy with, you bring out playfulness in them too.
It also comes to mind that I have the module The Wonder and Flow in my love custom. I just messed around like a kid today, as an example I saw some people on bicycles gesturing to turn with their hand and I put my hand out to high five them. Or at the pharmacy when a woman working there opened a new checkout, I did the que-ticket-sound duuu-nuuu out load and laughed to myself.
And lastly just flowing to the music in my ears and at time just dancing in my little bubble as I was walking, and upon looking up noticing women and men looking curiously back at me. Apparently that’s not something a lot of people do on a rainy/snowy/slushy/windy spring day here in the land of vikings.
The fluoride stare 
Love it!
Not much new to report since last. The weather and spring is slowly creeping up here and I’m not really sure if I want to move somewhere else or not, but I have been waiting a bit for nicer weather.
I’m on a 5 day washout currently, day 3 tomorrow. Khan is still my main staple in this stack, but I do miss Alchemist and might find a spot for it soon.
The next thing for me is finding some new avenue into something useful to do again, start off with something and work from there. Got to admit that I still find it hard to attach somewhere and most people I meet seem to be a bit put off by my confidence level. This is something I have noticed a lot since I came back into society again is that the general mental health has deteriorated a lot during the last two years. Sweden was already a place where people don’t talk to strangers, but it even way extreme now.
I’ve come to realize that the whole I’m a backpacker is only a fun opening line here in this country. I remember all the times I have been backpacking in Asia and other places, and I do miss that feeling of stepping into a hostel or similar and meeting like-minded people, sharing a couple of beers around a bonfire, and teaming up to explore new places together.
At the place where I’m staing at almost no one even looks at me or bother saying hello. Where has the curiosity of people gone? Of course there are people like that, but they seem to become more and more rare. Sometimes it feels like our western society has become like a dammed up river full of algae with dead or mutated fish.
But I won’t stop working on myself, it’s a life-long process. And maybe the next step for me is transcending the kind of dis-taste of what I perceiving at the moment. Maybe it’s just like foods I didn’t like as a kid where I realized as an adult was only mental blockage I made up.
Some major perceptual shit going on today. Just walking around and looking at the world feels in some sense not real, like everything was some kind of toy world. Funny thing is when I close my eyes, I could picture everything around me like a picture almost. In a way it all feels like something foundational and close to my core is being uncovered, and all the confusion is the letting go part of the old made up layers on top.
I have changed my way of listening a bit also. Now I’m doing 3 loops a week, Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday. I also go a bit by feel and have started to play around with 5 and 7 minutes loops.
I’ll have to dig into this more, but Khan stacked with your stack sounds awesome! It makes sense because since you’ve already ran Khan, it’s not quite as heavy for you, so you can add a full stack to it.
Chosen balances out the aggressive energy, while Mogul balances out the tendency to think more about women than your own life, or get too horny, or however you might describe it. Khan definitely has good money scripting in it, but Mogul will bring that out.
Haven’t read ANY of your journal except the first post so I don’t even know if you’re on this stack still… but I’ve bookmarked it and look forward to reading!
Yes, Khan is my favorite subliminal but it’s also so comprahensive and will take time to embody.
Chosen for me is one of the easiest subliminals for me to listen to, and I think it’s because I have always been in leader roles in my adult life. The thing I still struggle with is leading the feminine because I used to reject that in me for so long and had tons and tons of self-destructive behaviors.
I just started a new stack for one cycle to vary it up a bit, Primal Seduction, Wanted, and EoG St1. But I will for sure go back to Khan next cycle, but felt I need more push to actually enjoy myself talking to new women, and also summer is coming and it’s more fun when people have more D-vitamin from the sun lol.
In This journal?
Yes I will update this journal with these, just started it today after having scouted and read up on it the last couple of days.
In about a month I plan to do some Paragon ZP. I read that some recorded not being bothered by their allergy after playing it, and I get about a month and a half worth of grass polen. I’ve had that since I was 16 years old, and only time I have been able to counter it was during an acid trip where I simply just told myself that I’m not allergic to polen, and it disappeared for 2 days lol.
What do you miss most about alchemist?
I mean it’s just such a beast of a program. I only got to St3 last year when I tried it because ZP was released. I miss that zen feeling and energetic feeling all over. Playing St1 really felt like a cleansing of my aura. St2 and St3 started to build up more and more of that soothing cool energy around me, and it had such a calming effect on those around me. Also all kinds of meditation and spiritual practices became easier and enhanced.
New In-Between Stack:
So I’m currently one week into my new stack that consists of Primal Seduction, Wanted, and Ecstasy of Gold St1. So far I have played 2 loops of WZP and PSZP, and playing my first loop of EoGZP today.
I messed around with playing only 7 minutes per loop last week and it works like a charm to me. The way I see it right now is that I go by feel each subliminal listening day, and if I feel there’s still a lot going on up in the headquarters, I just play less minutes of the subliminal that day.
I decided to try mixing PS and Wanted together because they represent opposite sides so to say, Wanted is more passive attraction and PS is more go get em style. So far I like it a lot and they seem to gel together nicely. So far I notice women staring at me more and when in conversation they often forget what they were doing and become a bit clumsy. With PS I notice myself naturally being drawn to observe the feminine and engage with it.
WZP PSZP Observations:
Funsies:
Last Saturday I joined a friend who studies at one of the big campuses in the city. It was outside in a big party tent and it took over a half an hour to get in, and the weather was really chilly. I had played a loop of Ascension Chamber before I went out and was in some kind of flowy and meditative state.
As I left my place I remembering thinking that I might need ID to get in, but I currently don’t have one except my passport which I don’t like carrying around. Also, I can’t remember the last time I had to show it except for maybe an airport, I have just become so relaxed and certain when it comes to security guards.
But this was a student place so they had security there and they checked everyone’s ID. I told my friend that I did not bring it and she started to worry that I might not get in, but funnily enough in my semi-meditative state I said don’t worry I’ll get in.
The guards ware surprised when I said I did not have an ID on me and said that it’s a must to get in. I just calmly replied that first off I’m not a student and that I never show ID anymore when going out. All in all I just framed it like it was how my world worked and I told them with a calm and steady gaze how old I am. Just pure honesty with a frame of I’m not that kind of a person that needs an ID to get in to venues.
They both looked at me for several seconds and I just gazed back at them holding eye contact, I had no tension or negative thoughts, and after that they said okay and let me in. This is something I’ve noticed lately in how I operate, I just tell the truth and stay present, and that way I don’t try to hide my agenda.
The party itself was awesome, they had a DJ and people just danced all over the place. But as so often when I go out, people drink so much and I feel a disconnect after a while. It’s just not attractive with drunk women, you can see the distortion in their eyes, like their awareness has just flown away on a pink unicorn…
And on top of that I found myself in an euphoric state just dancing along to the music. But as I got more tired I decided to leave the party and head into the city and my favorite pub.
When I got in I was greeted by one of the bartenders there, he’s a really good guy. He looked at me as I ordered and put forward his hand to shake mine and said; you know what… from here on every time you are here you’ll get 10% off on everything in this bar. I was a bit surprised and thought to myself that it must be the Wanted aura.
It didn’t take long for this place to be packed and everyone was dancing to the guy singing there, but just as with the student party, alcohol levels made people so unattractive in my eyes. I’m beginning to wonder what Swedish people do for fun except get shit faced?? Looking back at my adult life almost all events whether it be with a company, sports, friends, or similar they always turn to alcohol for fun.
I’ve noticed that the more I work on myself that I don’t wibe well with a lot of women anymore. Maybe my standards has risen a lot, and most certainly a lot of women with lower self-esteem are just simply disqualifying themselves. That is why I’m pretty sure that I need to find better places to actually meet women, places where women generally has a higher self-esteem.
Physique:
The one thing I do miss with not living in Stockholm anymore is playing lacrosse with my old teammates, it was a good way of building up some physique because I don’t run that often anymore.
Wanted has for sure had an impact on my body over the last week, its amazing how quickly the physical shifting works. I have been doing pushups and squats for a while now and I have noticed I have lost a bit around my waist and hip. Not that I had much to start with but I notice my tight t-shirts fits better without rolling themselves up. Also my chest and arms looks more defined.
For maybe a year or so I have noticed my eye sight has changed. Not in a way that I see better, just in a way of focus and importance. I see more peripheral and less focus, although if I focus it is fine. It’s just like a camera that has not zoomed in yet at what it is looking at and it’s all dizzy. In a way its awesome because I feel more loose and care-free, but some days like today, I just feel completely lost and not in the seeing world almost.
Woop Woop:
The world looks different and it looks less real since ZP came out for me. They way I used to live and when I look around at times looks completly mental to me now. But, it is just the same as it has always been. The only difference is that as more light enters the room, I can see more of the dirt and cobwebs, and it’s always been there, it was just too dark in there for me to actually see it.
Lastly, reflecting on all the commotion and lalala’s in the world and people going crazy over the news etc… Isn’t it funny when one just disconnect, opens the door and walk into nature… the world is just fine again! Like nothing is ever changing, it’s all perception…
Are you a Norsemen?
Si 
…
Had a interesting thought experiment yesterday. What if you could picture yourself and your beliefs from your life lived up to this point in two different scenarios. In the first scenario is just you that you are today, but in the second scenario is you without any influence that has ever arrived through a screen of some kind. So that means no messages from the TV, computer, smartphone, electronic billboard and so on.
You would of course have newpapers, but they are much less graphic and immersive than a TV show, movie, or news report with video showing all the fear propaganda. And how would you have spent all those hours that you would have just been lying in the sofa watching junk? I remember every day after school I would join my family in that big sofa in front of the TV for hours on end until I fell asleep.
It kind of dawns on me these days just how programmed my mind became through this endless repetition of watching the TV. I mean, we all know how much effort it takes to form a new lasting habit, it takes discipline and repetition. So just imagine how easy it would be for someone who controls the flow of information to program a person that is put into a daily trance in front of a screen, rinse and repeat, and that person won’t know what happened.
I said in an earlier post that I checked my AD-blocker statistics on my computer. In 2 years it had blocked around half a million ads! That is almost 700 per day…
Hey mister Tobyone,
It seemed khan was working out for you, what made you decide to switch?
Hola senor Lovage,
I’m just doing a changeup stack to let my regular stack bloom a bit. I’m still in Khan for the long run but plan to do these small jumps at times. I have realized though that I need to spend a lot more time on Total Reprogramming, I usually get too excited and move past it too fast.
Played a full loop of Wanted ZP today and the sexual energy is insane on this sub. I remember Saint saying that Wanted has one of the most extensive sexual scripting of the alpha subs, and I can concur. Except for a loop of EoG, I have not played an alpha sub since last friday so it was obvious that most of it came from Wanted.
What really struck me was the release of energy down in my crotch area, almost like my balls was resting on a radiator, and also a tingeling feeling. I get a lot of these flowing of energy through my body daily, but most of the time it’s usually up from my heart and chest area. The energy becomes so much more intense when it really starts from the bottom and shoots upwards, it’s like a river where all the dams are opened up.
This resultet of a very flowy and joyous mood today and I had a couple of hours where I totally lost track of time.