Khan - A path less travelled

I decided to start a new journal covering my new adventure in life. My main subliminal will be Khan ZP, which I do have over a year of exposure to from October 2020 until around the same time 2021.

My thinking is to pair it with Chosen and Mogul. Chosen I have one play-through of in December, and I absolutely love that subliminal, and it also enhances a lot of the qualities I already possess as a leader. During my younger years I always found myself being put in leadership roles, especially in sports and when I worked in construction. I like to lead from the front so to speak. Mogul I have no prior experience from.

This might change over time, but Khan will be the driving force. I have done 3 loops of Total Breakdown ZP so far with one processing day in between for each loop.

Moving on(well literally…) →

This was exactly one week ago, and this bag and all that’s in it is more or less all that I own, except for a bunch of books I put in a storage at my sisters place. For the last 6 moths I have been staying in the middle of a forest in a small cabin.

It was a sunny day when I left it, and I had to say goodbye to the dog that I have grown to love so much, a german shepherd. :cry:

My home for the last 6 months of my life →

It just hit me after some reflection, that I have not had any consistent socializing or in-group of people for almost 1,5 years. This is especially true the last 6 months, where my best friends were a couple of horses outside my window and a dog. My journey has only been inward during this time with only sporadic signs outwardly in the brief moments where I actually did meet people.

I can with confidence say that during the last 1,5 years since I broke up with my old life and had a series of Dark Night of The Souls, that I have become so ridiculously comfortable with being alone with myself. But don’t get me wrong… I still want to socialize with others and to find my tribe.

I also have been living off the money I got from my apartment when I left last summer, but I have not had any occupation or income since September 2020. Funny how I have changed so much, that I almost don’t remember 2020 and 2021… So I have made the decision to break my hibernation and walk somewhere else…

I said goodbye to my favorite horse, that for some reason that sunny morning had knocked down a tree, and I started walking the 5 km to the bus →

Another reflection is that since I started playing Subclub subliminals regularly in late October 2020, just as I had quit my last job I had, I have not been able to gauge it that much in how others respond to me. It’s time to test this in the world of other people and not just read about it here on this forum :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

But damn will I miss just walking out here →

Apart from Khan more or less solo in the beginning, I have a full run-through of Dragon Reborn, and lastly nearly a full run-through of Alchemist, and of course, I have played a lot of other subs last year(own more than I have listened too lol), but none that consistently.

Things did not turn out the way I planned beacuse the train going to the city of my choice(a city in Sweden with around 200k inhabitants.) was delayed for over an hour because of a fire, and they only managed to get us to Sweden’s biggest international airport(halfway), where actually my last job was for over 2 years lol. Deja vu…

So here we have hundreds of people running up the escalators to get to the bus instead of the cancelled train. I did not rush and watched bus after bus get loaded absolutely packed with people. Out of nowhere I suddenly found myself talking with 2 other guys, and we debated taking a cab(about 30 min of drive).

But as it turned out, because for some reson, at the biggest airport in Sweden there are no taxi’s waiting(the airport was nearly empty), and I blame it all on that naughty beer called Corona. And as next bus arrived there were hardly anyone left waiting, so we got a cozy ride in a not so crowded bus.

Definately felt the Khan aura and the effortless way I was socializing. Said goodbye to the two fellas upon arriving.

And I checked into my suite →

Haha, the only thing that’s missing is a time machine back to the 80’s and a couple of Soviet Wallpapers… :joy: But the thing is that I don’t want to much comfort because you get lazy, and I need to get going.

Another thing that I have learned after years of travelling to the US, and mentor after mentor, is that I don’t need that much to be content. Smell the leather they always said, but now I’m like… WTF, I’ve never cared for cars in my whole life, why would I want so many shine cars when I don’t even have a genuine interest in them!!? Ahh those were the days…

And also,

It’s kinda crazy now that the sun actually seems to reach over the horizon here in Sweden, that I have literally almost nothing left of my old life and friends. All I own more or less is in my backpack, I threw away so many things when I left my apartment 6 months ago.

I have some pocket money to last me a couple of months now, and this gives me the opportunity to put Khan to the test. I’m already noticing crazy results of St1 ZP, but also it’s hard for me to compare to earlier versions, for I was not testing it outwardly back then.

Khan speaks to me on a deep level, and I’m determined to re-discover my masculinity, beacuse I’m certain it’s there somewhere under all the layers of trauma. I used to suppress my masculine edge so much when I was younger, and I also believe modern society does everything to de-masculine us, and the same with the feminine, it’s just a lot of confusion everywhere.

One thing that has benefited me greatly by living in the middle of nowhere, is that I had the opportunity to get away from a lot of distractions, and also to purify my body by removing bad foods and drinks. If you are looking for more awareness and clarity in your life, sort this out and you are well on your way.

Lately I have experimenting with decalcifying my pineal gland. I have tamarind, no flour intake, apple cider vinegar, and active charcoal. Really missing my alkaline water machine though, which is stored away until I get some place to live with my own tap.

I’m getting more and more convinced that most all things can be healed, but one must clense the body and mind. If we live in a toxic environment, no wonder we get sick. It’s called Dis-Ease for a reason. I’m going to look into things like herbs and going mostly plant based, heavy foods really takes away your energy.

And lastly,

I need to stop being an illegal immigrant in my own country. When I had all those Dark Nights of The Soul back in 2020, my old perceptual picture of the world came crashing down. For a while I just completely let go of everything, and for the first three months of 2020 I just sat with myself(no social interactions) and ate nothing but the cheepest macaronies I could buy with salt and water. Interesting times…

And I never registered a new address when I moved out of my old apartment, so I believe atm I am reported as missing(aka a refuge in my own country), and have to go and show my ID at the IRS. Funny how nowadays all we do is show ID everywhere, but everyone acts fake, I mean we even give awards to the best actors :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

One thing I’ve noticed over the last year is that our whole society is based on the monetery system. I could easily live off the grid if I just had money to live and eat. And I do wonder if I would actually prefer to live in a smaller self-sustaining community than in a big city. It’s funny that whenever I visited a city when living in the country side, I always got overstimulated by all the things going on, and I can see how people living there get desensitized after a while.

In a big city, everyone looks around thinking, eyy someone else will do it and someone else is paid to do it… But when you get to smaller places people get together and work together to do the most basic things, it’s a beautiful thing.

But for the world to change, you need to change, so I’m on it! No more sitting in a cave watching shadows…

Not sure exactly how I will journal, because I have an offline journal where i write daily. So most likely I will do a couple of updates a week I think.

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Adding this here from last weekend where I went out to a bar, wrote this when I got home that night.

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Some updates from this week:

  • Slow early part of the week mostly because I’m not used to drinking alcohol and feeling a bit overstimulated from settling into a city again.

  • People being very receptive to me, the charm is off the scale. It almost feels on TB like you are high on something, you are more centered and in the moment. Social shaking for me is non-existent.

  • Bought 2 t-shirts at the store, and the guy there went out of his way after to recommend different kinds of styles in clothing and so on.

  • Noticing a lot of primal eye contacts with random women, and I sometimes just stop and stare for prolonged periods if I fancy the woman. It just comes naturally.

  • The woman from my night out that was so into me has messaged me a lot. Now she suggests that she thinks that sleeping with me would be a completely new experience for her(her own words), and also that her husband probably wouldn’t mind it. I’m like ok, just a fun thing, will see what happens.

  • Played one loop of Total Reprogramming before that night out, that might explain some things lol. Back on TB ZP today, my fourth loop in total.

  • A reflection about ZP compaired to earlier builds for me, is that on earlier builds I was not stepping into the role of Khan(resisted it more), and therefore I got a lot people almost being afraid of me or being overtly submissive to me because I was not congruent. On ZP I just feel at home and things flows better and people react well everywhere mostly.

  • Played my first loop of Mogul ZP this week. I made look into some economy stuff that I have been putting on the side. An old thing I have is that I have grown to love the thrill of postponing these things as a way seeking thrills I guess.

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This so much.
SO MUCH.

Which is why I’ll be running Primal for a while. But Khan is still sitting in the back of my mind, waiting. I remember Stage 1 on QV2. Was an insane experience.

I am somewhat jelly of being in that wooden shack for 6 months. That’s truly something I’d like to do to TRULY find back to myself! Well done!

Money is power in our society, which is funny, because you ABSOLUTELY wouldn’t need it as a human to survive. Hell, most of our existence on this planet we didn’t have it. We bartered and it was fine.

Then again, if you create something of value to people and make money this way, you CAN have the free life off the grid. So it’s daunting to follow that!
After all, Khan also has Empire scripting :wink:

Absolute ZEN. Khan IS, indeed, a somewhat spiritual sub (the true meaning of “spiritual”)

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Primal is a beast for sure. I remember the first time I tried it in Qv2, I went outside and my eyes just jumped on to beautiful butts all day with no hesitation or shame. That’s what I get a lot on Khan as well, pure admiration of the feminine and also learning to let go and surrender to my natural instincts.

And that’s the thing, I still have that social intelligence but I give my attention to the feminine without needing anything in return. I’m disconnected from that validation but I know what I like and I’m not ashamed of giving that gift.

Thank you. Depending on your situation, and what I do remember is that you have kid(s) and that of course changes things, but if a man has the opportunity to withdraw if only for a day and be silent he should take it. Solitude is such a great teacher, but it can also be hard to adjust back to some kind of society as it has been for me, it all just look so weird nowadays.

I agree fully. It’s going to be interesting to see where the current monetary system is heading now after the pandemic, seeing that a ridiculously large percentage of the worlds money now is with only a few extremely rich. Going to look in to Crypto a bit as well further down the line, I have a feeling these people I mention are not particularly fond of Crypto, because they cannot control it, and that is what it’s ultimately about, control.

Mhm, it has this meditative feel to it that I have only experienced with some kind of substance before when out moving around in the world. Total Breakdown feels like I’m meditating all the time with my eyes open.

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I need this so much.

This is like the exact issue I have. Just enjoying it without expectations.

I do, yes. So no way for me to do this right now (for extended periods).

Idk where the monetary system is heading exactly, although crypto will definitely be a viable part. However I KNOW that political systems will change since they FULLY lost trust lol Same with the media. And I feel like many people will start their own businesses and end the huge corporations (well, talking 50+ years here, won’t happen quickly, but people have enough of the slavery).

Looking forward to more of this journey!

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That’s a very interesting journey

Rock it Bro

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This one is so weird here in Sweden. I think people are waking up to the illusions of media and it’s real purpose. But also we had so little of the really harsh measures here that it’s hard to tell the difference. But I have followed the shenanigans that some country’s have gone through, and it’s completely bonkers… Like the trust for anything governmental is just gone for most.

Exeactly what I wanted to learn years back in the PUA community, but there were few that even truly understood it, and often it was from the outside in instead from the inside out.

:pray:

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Some updates after 2 weeks of listening to this new stack:

So far I have 4 loops of Total Breakdown, 2 loops of Chosen, and 2 loops of Mogul, all in ZP. Apart from that I tried on loop of Total reprogramming last week before going out, and this weekend one loop of The Commander ZP.

A hard look at what it really is that I want out of Khan:

I have read recently that some OG Khan listeners on this forum are having doubts about continuing their run of Khan, and that it’s too sexual and takes away from the empire building aspects(that’s why I added Mogul.) This made me think even more about why I am running Khan?

To me what I most want out of Khan is to reconnect with my natural masculine polarity. I want it to dig deep within me and build up that ballistic masculine energy from the inside. And everything that happens on the outside is just a bonus. Also I see this very sexual side of Khan as a challenge, and a great way to learn how to control such a high level of sexual energy. To me that sexual energy is the foundation and life force to be used in all of life, not just attracting women. And not being able to handle it means that I’m not mature enough yet for it, so I’ll need to learn.

So starting from this last Saturday, I’m not going to be masturbating at all. I have over the last year or so actually rarely ejaculated while masturbating, but at times of reconciliation or just horniness, had a little moment under the blanket. I can already feel the potency, and I have to catch myself sometimes when I’m just lying in bed.

Further, the love you have for yourself is the love you can give your woman. That’s why masculinity and self love is the base, the foundation in my opinion. The masculine is the giver of attention but without neediness(wanting something in return,) and the feminine is the receiver(getting something back.) The play of polarities…

That’s why just looking at a woman’s behavior when she is getting all emotional and complaining isn’t doing you or her any good. I would ask myself; what is it I can offer to the world that she doesn’t get from other men in our society? If I get all reactive I will for sure will not get her attracted to me, because it’s inherently a feminine quality.

A friend taught me that if you learn to “Unplugg from validation” and “Surrender to your natural instincts,” together with leading yourself first, everything else becomes so much easier and better as a man. And that means stop trying to control everything and people’s perception of you.

When one does not accept his true nature, one starts swimming upstream.

But also, I don’t want to be a stoic rock, I want to share and be vulnerable as well, but I don’t want to live there all the time because it kills the attraction in the long run. I have been fortunate to learn this lesson years back as I outgrew the traditional PUA thingy, and instead learned to lead with vulnerability. I learned a lot from that and how to let go, but also the lesson that I don’t want to live there all the time, but to learn how to mix it in for that human connection.

So that’s what I want from Khan. If I cannot attract the women I want into my life, I need to learn what I have mentioned above until that’s who I am, and that energy will build over time as my life evolves, and I’ll became a beacon of light that attracts the things I want out of life.

And that’s more or less to me what healthy maculinity looks like. We as men have to Wake up, Grow Up, Clean Up, and Show Up.

Some notes from this weekend:

  • After months of mimimal exercise, I have slowly gotten back to doing some basic squats and pushups. Also I have been walking quite a bit since I arrived in this city. This is a big Showing up for me, I have it in me just need to re-activate it.

  • I decided to go out 2 times this weekend as well, and I wanted to tryout some new places. First I visited an e-sports bar but quickly realized that I’m not that much in to competitive gaming as an entertainment.

  • I noticed several times that evening that I don’t need to raise my voice that much anymore when there’s loud music. One bartender almost jumped backwards and I almost felt uncalibrated and surprised by the depth of my voice. This has definately changed a bit since starting Khan ZP.

  • On friday’s adventure out I had earlier that day felt a bit of sadness, prabably something being worked through making me feel a bit off. I noticed this at the bar as well that some people felt a bit intimidated by me. I catched that and did some introspecting as to why I was sending out those energies? And after some time I felt lighter again but I felt tired afterwards(still on St1 I must remember.)

  • Had a woman in her 40 later that evening being all over me, and also showing me her latest G-spot dildo in her bag lol. I wans’t really feeling it and decided not go for it, although she kept coming back and for a while and almost managed to remove all the clothes on my upper body on the dance floor.

  • On Saturday I went to a fancy biljard hall in the city, and they had a bar and some other things like darts and such. I was feeling on fire and the coat hanger girl blushed as I just stood and admired her.

  • Felt an urge after reading @lovage tips about pairing Khan with The Commander, to play a loop of it even if this was my processing day. Holy moly! This takes the new 1st place in the subliminal that completely crushes all social anxiety(not that I have a lot,) I felt like a King in my own space, my aura grew twice as big.

  • I had for the rest of that night a voice coming from The Commander that was telling me what to do and giving me intuitive truths. At the last place i went to, I was looking around for women, and my eyes wanted to find something that wasn’t there, but in an instant that voice said; there’s no one in here that you feel that pull towards, so I just roamed around talking freely to random people.

  • The Commander made it clear to me right away that confidence never is hard when you do what you want and are congruent with yourself. Also that “flow” comes easy and often if I just do what I feel in the moment, and every time I go against that instinct I put the lid back on again. So Commander made me in a split second decide if I was just time wasting or holding myself back.

  • Noticed also on Commander that alcohol felt less, and I did not get as tipsy as I used to do on the same amount.

  • During Sunday and Monday I had to pay the price for drinking and also doing a bit of niccotine, I was tired mostly during these two days.

  • That woman I met last weekend with her husband has kept texting me. Now she suggest a hotel room, some MDMA, Wine, and some ropes :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes: I really liked her energy, so we’ll see where this leads…

  • I extended my stay at the hostel until March 1st, and this week all focus is on planning my next step and to get a more permanent living space and an income. I do believe that Khan TB helps me here to not feel as much pressure from my nomadic situation.

Khan also reminds me that :point_down:

ALL IZZ WELL

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I need to say something about this I recently learned from a great man.

Especially since you said you’ve been edging or doing semen retention. I did all of this myself and learned a hard lesson (pun intended).

Look, we all operate on energies, right? And if you masturbate and ejaculate you spill your chi. your life force. This is not good unless you have A TON of it and no other vent. For example, shooting your load on or in a woman is ABSOLUTELY FINE. Even great, because then there is an EXCHANGE of energy. You spill your yang, but you get the ying from the woman.
You GET feminine sexual energy while having sex.

You can see this for yourself. When you fap and shoot it, you feel low energy, almost depressed. When you have sex with a woman, you feel great, enlivened.

That’s the exchange of energy.

Now when you edge or retain semen while still rubbing it, all you do is clog up your lower chakras. You brought this energy into your body but now it can’t go anywhere. You don’t have a woman around, so naturally you shoot it but lose energy in the process.
That extra energy you have flying around in your body is TOUGH to control, and I wouldn’t even recommend it UNLESS you have learned how to transmute it and move it upwards in your body. Most men can’t do that. I think you ran a lot of Alchemist if I am not mistaken? So maybe you have that skill.

If one hasn’t, then IMO it’s worse to edge, and you’re better off just shooting it RARELY, otherwise that energy will ruin your every day.

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I agree with you, well written. The dance of palarities is recharging for sure. I mean sometimes just being in the presence of a woman gives you tons of energy. Since starting subliminals I never watch porn anymore, it’s so low vibration but it was ingrained as a habit from such a young age.

The thing is that since I started subliminals, it has become so obvious after continuely watching for signs of reconciliation that these moments where you are lying down and feel the urge, is most certainly connected and a form of reconciliation. Heck I would say all forms of not following your nature and procrastination is a form of resistance and reconcilation.

And to me listening to subliminals is doing something to change this instead of just finding more distractions to stay in the darkness.

I’m realizing more and more that how I used to live was more or less just a long and never ending string of coping behaviors in an effort to not having to deal with what was holding me back. Everytime we give in to these coping mechanisms, we feel stale and dead on the inside and start retracting back into a larva again. And every time we live consciously, we feel alive, in flow, and we are turning into a butterfly.

I learned that actually before subliminals when studying tantra for a bit. But I will say that the higher your energy and vibration, the easier it gets to really feel it, and Alchemist has helped me in that regard.

Mind’s eye is a great tool for that as well.

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Yes. I also realised when I am sitting in recon, I am virtually hunting for dopamine left and right.
But it made me realise that dopamine would just cope with the situation. Not fix it.

And so, a new Khammander is born. I just love the synergy between Khan and Commander.

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Was going to typy this in another thread but did not want to derail it:

Forgivenness is often the hardest thing beacuse it means you must first forgive yourself. It’s always a two way street but always starts within yourself. Life is cyclical, and by becoming aware of your own cycles and the wisdom that comes with every twist and turn makes it easier to understand and accept whatever phases other people are going through.

When I had my darkest period a year ago in my own awakening, I did six months of A course in miracle, and that helped me see a lot of the illusions I was conjuring up in my mind. But ultimately, forgiveness is the ultimate and the most liberating thing in the world.

The war(fiiting on a day like this) is not out there, but inside of your own mind, and for the world to change you must first change yourself.

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So I went out again yesterday. The whole day leading up to it I was tired and I have gotten these allergic eyes again. Imagine walking around with burning and watery eyes throughout the day, almost as you had just woken up. It makes it a bit hard because your focus is off but everything else is on point.

I sat in the beginning by myself just vibing to the music when a young woman came and invited me to sit with her and her male friend. She was all over me in the beginning and I found out that they were not together but friends with benefits.

Four younger women joined our table and I could feel that calm eye contact that only Khan gives you, it feels like you are this rock of a calm grounded and soothing energy. I greeted them but was invested in a conversation with that other woman that was now touching my arms and legs.

It’s a funny phenomenon with preselection, because I was totally respecting the semi-couple I was intereacting with, but I could feel the attraction from the the other women next to me just from the fact that she gave me so much attention. She told me several times that one of them was looking at me all the time.

Because of my eyes and blurry vision I could feel it but I had to focus on one thing at a time not to feel completely lost. After a while she left to talk to some other dude and now the guy was alone with me and the other women.

It’s by now it becomes obvious to me that I have been away for so long from everyday society and I felt the pull to withdraw a bit. This is something that I did when I was younger a lot, I withdrew and did not want to belong to any group. It’s only later in life I understand why I was doing that as a way of protecting myself from not getting hurt.

I could have easily just shifted focus to the other women and became part of their group. But me and the other guy went to the dance floor. Also some younger guys came up to the girls and started to hit on them, and the leader of them started to talk to me in a way of demostrating some dominance because he could feel my presence.

He tried and tried and I just laughed at the situation, it reminded me so much of the Pick-Up community and amoging. I had a good time and after he realized he could not shift me I became good friends with him.

Also I have become so good at reading others now, so I noticed my newly found friend was becoming more and more anxious about his girl talking to that other guy and he started to drink heavily(I used to drink a lot when I was younger in the same way.)

I sat him down and asked him how he was feeling, his jealousy was so easy to spot. I nudged him to go over there and just talk to them so he left. Later I saw both of them and they looked like complete train wrecks, and I realized she had tested him and he failed miserably. I could not stand that negative energy and left them alone.

Now to another thing that I’m very well aware of. When I was younger I dismissed any young woman that would ever be interested in me, a defensive mechanism I developed through me teenage years. So what always happened is I would go for some older woman instead because it felt to me back then as a small investment, especially if she was married or had kids.

This is one way that I block my sexuality and freedom of expression still sometimes to this day, but I’m aware of it and take note every time it happens.

By now the place had shifted in energy and there was a lot of drunk people, and that turns me off quite a bit nowadays. I danced for a while more, and a thai woman was all over me on the dancefloor.

I decided I’ve had enough and went to the bathroom before leaving. Just as I was supposed to go in that thai woman sneaked in with and we had an intense makeout session in the bathroom. It was one of those bathroom where you don’t want to touch any part of the walls or interior so nothing more happened. We exchanged numbers and I went home.

I remember what on old mentor said to me about when you evolve and heal as a man, that the night scene of bars and clubs usually don’t swarm with the kind of woman that are a bit more sophisticated and has their things sorted out. I’m looking into joining some clubs or other social gatherings maybe.

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The more I’m thinking of it now, the more I’m getting more and more convinced that I’m wasting a lot of energy going out like this, I’m not 20 anymore. It might be a cultural thing, but it seems like here in my country that it’s more or less the same thing in whatever place you go to.

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Very nicely said. I couldn’t agree more.

Good luck on your journey! :slight_smile:

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What about the way he was talking made you think he was trying to demonstrate dominance?

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Hello again forum, oh how I missed you.

Have been away from writing here for a while, time just flies by. Will get back on the horse again and catch up a bit.

On another topic, I remade a new revised version on my old customs named Sacred Heart 1 and 2 to the new ZP format. Very pleased with it.

Love Bomb
Blue Skies
Transcendental Connection
Chosen of Venus
Depths of Love
Love Without Attachment
Gratitude Embodiment
Emotions Unfettered
Mercy Protocol
The Wonder
The Flow
Ethereal Presence
Elegance
Divine Self-Image
Harmonic Singularity
Everpresent
Intuition Enhancer
Jupiter
Omnidimensional
Deep Sleep

I made it in ZPT^2. Kept it with just one core for that reason, and my plan is to play it once a week.

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Damn what a lovely sub! Quite literally! Looking forward to that!

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