I decided to start a new journal covering my new adventure in life. My main subliminal will be Khan ZP, which I do have over a year of exposure to from October 2020 until around the same time 2021.
My thinking is to pair it with Chosen and Mogul. Chosen I have one play-through of in December, and I absolutely love that subliminal, and it also enhances a lot of the qualities I already possess as a leader. During my younger years I always found myself being put in leadership roles, especially in sports and when I worked in construction. I like to lead from the front so to speak. Mogul I have no prior experience from.
This might change over time, but Khan will be the driving force. I have done 3 loops of Total Breakdown ZP so far with one processing day in between for each loop.
Moving on(well literally…) →
This was exactly one week ago, and this bag and all that’s in it is more or less all that I own, except for a bunch of books I put in a storage at my sisters place. For the last 6 moths I have been staying in the middle of a forest in a small cabin.
It was a sunny day when I left it, and I had to say goodbye to the dog that I have grown to love so much, a german shepherd. 
My home for the last 6 months of my life →
It just hit me after some reflection, that I have not had any consistent socializing or in-group of people for almost 1,5 years. This is especially true the last 6 months, where my best friends were a couple of horses outside my window and a dog. My journey has only been inward during this time with only sporadic signs outwardly in the brief moments where I actually did meet people.
I can with confidence say that during the last 1,5 years since I broke up with my old life and had a series of Dark Night of The Souls, that I have become so ridiculously comfortable with being alone with myself. But don’t get me wrong… I still want to socialize with others and to find my tribe.
I also have been living off the money I got from my apartment when I left last summer, but I have not had any occupation or income since September 2020. Funny how I have changed so much, that I almost don’t remember 2020 and 2021… So I have made the decision to break my hibernation and walk somewhere else…
I said goodbye to my favorite horse, that for some reason that sunny morning had knocked down a tree, and I started walking the 5 km to the bus →
Another reflection is that since I started playing Subclub subliminals regularly in late October 2020, just as I had quit my last job I had, I have not been able to gauge it that much in how others respond to me. It’s time to test this in the world of other people and not just read about it here on this forum 
But damn will I miss just walking out here →
Apart from Khan more or less solo in the beginning, I have a full run-through of Dragon Reborn, and lastly nearly a full run-through of Alchemist, and of course, I have played a lot of other subs last year(own more than I have listened too lol), but none that consistently.
Things did not turn out the way I planned beacuse the train going to the city of my choice(a city in Sweden with around 200k inhabitants.) was delayed for over an hour because of a fire, and they only managed to get us to Sweden’s biggest international airport(halfway), where actually my last job was for over 2 years lol. Deja vu…
So here we have hundreds of people running up the escalators to get to the bus instead of the cancelled train. I did not rush and watched bus after bus get loaded absolutely packed with people. Out of nowhere I suddenly found myself talking with 2 other guys, and we debated taking a cab(about 30 min of drive).
But as it turned out, because for some reson, at the biggest airport in Sweden there are no taxi’s waiting(the airport was nearly empty), and I blame it all on that naughty beer called Corona. And as next bus arrived there were hardly anyone left waiting, so we got a cozy ride in a not so crowded bus.
Definately felt the Khan aura and the effortless way I was socializing. Said goodbye to the two fellas upon arriving.
And I checked into my suite →
Haha, the only thing that’s missing is a time machine back to the 80’s and a couple of Soviet Wallpapers… 
But the thing is that I don’t want to much comfort because you get lazy, and I need to get going.
Another thing that I have learned after years of travelling to the US, and mentor after mentor, is that I don’t need that much to be content. Smell the leather they always said, but now I’m like… WTF, I’ve never cared for cars in my whole life, why would I want so many shine cars when I don’t even have a genuine interest in them!!? Ahh those were the days…
And also,
It’s kinda crazy now that the sun actually seems to reach over the horizon here in Sweden, that I have literally almost nothing left of my old life and friends. All I own more or less is in my backpack, I threw away so many things when I left my apartment 6 months ago.
I have some pocket money to last me a couple of months now, and this gives me the opportunity to put Khan to the test. I’m already noticing crazy results of St1 ZP, but also it’s hard for me to compare to earlier versions, for I was not testing it outwardly back then.
Khan speaks to me on a deep level, and I’m determined to re-discover my masculinity, beacuse I’m certain it’s there somewhere under all the layers of trauma. I used to suppress my masculine edge so much when I was younger, and I also believe modern society does everything to de-masculine us, and the same with the feminine, it’s just a lot of confusion everywhere.
One thing that has benefited me greatly by living in the middle of nowhere, is that I had the opportunity to get away from a lot of distractions, and also to purify my body by removing bad foods and drinks. If you are looking for more awareness and clarity in your life, sort this out and you are well on your way.
Lately I have experimenting with decalcifying my pineal gland. I have tamarind, no flour intake, apple cider vinegar, and active charcoal. Really missing my alkaline water machine though, which is stored away until I get some place to live with my own tap.
I’m getting more and more convinced that most all things can be healed, but one must clense the body and mind. If we live in a toxic environment, no wonder we get sick. It’s called Dis-Ease for a reason. I’m going to look into things like herbs and going mostly plant based, heavy foods really takes away your energy.
And lastly,
I need to stop being an illegal immigrant in my own country. When I had all those Dark Nights of The Soul back in 2020, my old perceptual picture of the world came crashing down. For a while I just completely let go of everything, and for the first three months of 2020 I just sat with myself(no social interactions) and ate nothing but the cheepest macaronies I could buy with salt and water. Interesting times…
And I never registered a new address when I moved out of my old apartment, so I believe atm I am reported as missing(aka a refuge in my own country), and have to go and show my ID at the IRS. Funny how nowadays all we do is show ID everywhere, but everyone acts fake, I mean we even give awards to the best actors
One thing I’ve noticed over the last year is that our whole society is based on the monetery system. I could easily live off the grid if I just had money to live and eat. And I do wonder if I would actually prefer to live in a smaller self-sustaining community than in a big city. It’s funny that whenever I visited a city when living in the country side, I always got overstimulated by all the things going on, and I can see how people living there get desensitized after a while.
In a big city, everyone looks around thinking, eyy someone else will do it and someone else is paid to do it… But when you get to smaller places people get together and work together to do the most basic things, it’s a beautiful thing.
But for the world to change, you need to change, so I’m on it! No more sitting in a cave watching shadows…
Not sure exactly how I will journal, because I have an offline journal where i write daily. So most likely I will do a couple of updates a week I think.
