Journey into the Deep

Journals - Major Programs
#1

Heya, I am not used to journaling, especially since I have a good memory, but I figured it might be nice.
I have first started listening to Khan 13 days ago, and Dragon Reborn:Regen 3 days ago, so yesterday was a listening day.

1st listening day (nov 4th)(KhanQ) and day after

I started KhanQ ST1 on November 4th, a friend sent me KhanQ telling me it’s a subliminal that would help me get more powerful.
I listened to the full hour, felt hot and like rushing with both energy and confusion?
But I knew it did something.
I felt my brain working throughout the day, I did another loop right before sleeping and felt yet more energy running through me, especially down at my groin and up in my head, though I felt energy pumping from my toes to my chest.
the instruction inside said to run it every other day, so the morning after I didn’t run it.

Though guys at work and at the bakery where more friendly and chatty with me.
it kinda reminded me of the morning after when I signed a contract with multidimensional beings and was raised up but in less powerful, though I felt more empowered I didn’t feel as much euphoria as back then and strangers didn’t come up to me to tell me their lives, but nevertheless it did highly improve my aura as seen from the look people gave me.
I also caught myself sexualising women, throwing way more glances at their assets than I use to.
Even though I usually have no trouble being respectful and not looking at them like I’m desperate. I felt more lustful than usual too. A friend invited me to go to another friend’s birthday the coming friday.

2nd listening day (nov 6th)(KhanQ) and day after

I felt my brain processing yet more data, I like that feeling. I listened to some PsychoCybernetics, caught myself glancing at more women, and seen people glancing at me, I find myself with a better posture than usual, though I feel my bones reorganising themselves and got some back strain, I decided to massage myself.
In the afternoon I listened to a 1h loop again, felt very hot and bothered, but powerful, in the evening before sleeping I listen to yet another loop, and decide to use active imagination as well to see myself in the position I want, I felt yet more energy rush in at both my groin and head/crown, so I circulate it throughout my body, using the mudra and pose that felt right to completely circulate energy throughout my body while listening to the sub and using active imagination.

The morning after I felt yet more lustful, though I managed going through the day, working while listening to psycho cybernetics, integrating what was said to me as well as my own self-view. I decided to search online where the Khan was coming from and buy it since it worked so extremely well, it’s important to reward experts who must’ve put an awfuly long time and a whole bunch of talent putting together something like that.
in the evening I went to the friend’s friend b-day, though since I work a lot and they started early I arrived kinda late, but it was really fun ^^ we weren’t a lot, only my friend (let’s call her C), my friend’s friend (let’s call him S), and a friend of that friend’s friends (she’ll be L). We chilled looking at (quite erotic) music clips, eating chips, and chatting about fun life adventures. My friend went to sleep not long after I came since she was tired so we were three left S, L, and I. While talking about life, I saw how L had some issues with confidence, though she put a lot in her looks, she’s pretty and she knows it but get jealous easily because of poor confidence, since I get where she’s coming from I gave her some life advice on how to improve her confidence and find the strength in herself to overcome difficulties and come through stronger than she was, well, not stronger per say, but to unlock the strength she already has hidden inside. after that she mellowed out a lot, we danced a bit, she grinded on me, she taught me how to make a good twerk and then we chilled in the sofa with S, she layed on me and put my hand on her boobs, letting me heavily pet her, after that we tried some heavy chili S gave us to try and we had our mouth on fire god damn, even though I’m kinda used to take strong sauce but these chili were out there. after that my friend woke up, C and L had a fight. For a time they were yelling “my bf’s gonna come and fuck you” and stuff like that, but even with being autistic I knew that if there was going to be any kind of orgy, it would have already started; and the evening kinda stopped on that note.

3rd listening day (nov 8th)(KhanZP) and day after

The morning after that was a listening day, I tried listening one full loop of ZP in the morning and a full loop of ZP in the evening.
the loop of ZP didn’t feel at all like running Q, with Q I felt the energy rising at the beginning and the atmosphere being hotter, and the energy and heat going down at the end, but with ZP there was none of that. Also, I was unable to do active imagination while running ZP, I imagine because it’s much more condensed than Q.
Nonetheless, I was horny and my situationship asked if I wanted to go see her, so I went to see her, we chilled, and had sex. I felt really tired afterward, I tried going to the gym but had to stop early because I was too tired. I figured because I don’t care enough about my nutrition these days, and that I should be careful to cook and eat in the evening.

following week, 4th, 5th and 6th listening days, and day after

In the following week, there wasn’t much of note. I felt stressed out by work a bit, and got the help of family to sort out my house, moving furniture around, but aside from that nothing. I often felt my back hurt. I wanted to run the subs, and ran full 15m loops in the morning and the evening on the 4th and 5th listening days but there were no sign of the insane progress I had in the first few days on Q.
so I started reading more of the forum and guide for clues. that’s when I made my intro post on the 10th day after beginning, 5th listening day, on Nov 14.

I decide then to add Dragon Reborn Regeneration, and figure that I may be “Stonewalling” the Khan ZP.
since I listened to 15 minutes of Khan ZP in the morning (and found myself to be subconsciously nodding at a couple parts), I listened to 1 minutes of DR:Regen in the evening right before going to see friends at a match. the 1 minute of DR:Regen felt strong, so that confirmed I may have been stonewalling the khan by using full loops.
I had a lot of fun that evening, I cheered the full time, learned the songs to cheer and jeer, and made new friends (one of them a sailor with a ton of fun adventures and anecdotes.)
the day was chill I went around the city with my situationship, and starting touching the idea that I gotta work on myself, and she agree she does too, but don’t wanna leave me, but got an opportunity on the other side of the country to find job opportunities and housing. I encourage her to do what’s best for her. that evening I cooked and it felt good, but yeah I should go on a groceries run…

7th listening day (nov 16)(KhanZP) and day after

on the 7th listening day, I ran 3 minutes of Khan, and 3 minutes of DR:Regen, somehow the 3 minutes of Khan felt stronger than the full 15 min, so I think that’s a good thing? Anyway my situationship wanted to see me that day too, so I finished taking care of the house and went to see her. we walked and talkeed mostly. she doesn’t wanna leave me but she has to do what’s best for her.
She seemed to want us to continue long distance but personally I highly doubt that’d work. Nonetheless, I agree entirely that she should absolutely do what’s best for her, to follow what her heart and joy tell her to, to pursue her dreams and aquire the security and later renown that she seeks even if that implies going on the other side of the country. the security is the baseline onto which life is built, as the pyramid of need shows us. we can’t self actualise if we don’t feel safe.
Personally, I feel more wanting to help her and wanting to have fun with her than really loving her and wanting to be with her, but she want something serious and have a much lower libido than I as the last year shown me, so that’s an incompatibility. I don’t wanna manipulate her into doing anything she doesn’t want to, so separating would be best, but I don’t wanna hit her with that when she’s vulnerable, hence the situationship. If she go on the other side of the country rebuild her life, it would indeed be the very best for the both of us.

Today (Nov 17) I feel, somewhat normal? more myself? I feel that Khan ST1 give the energy needed to heal through DR. I feel more at ease, my back hurt less, and I feel somewhat more confident though not to the level of Q yet. I wanna take care of myself and my home.
I plan on maybe redoing 3 minutes of Khan tomorow to make sure (or maybe 1 minute? it was kinda hard to take the full 3 minutes last time), and increase DR to 5 minutes.
In the evening, I started being highly emotional, telling my family how I love them, and reminding both myself and them how they helped me become the person I am now, all the good times I had in my childhood. how I hold them in my heart.
There was conflict between my mom and sister, I tried reassuring both and feel I succeeded? but yeah, idk as of yet how to handle that kind of conflict where one party, although partly responsible, refuse to admit responsibility, refuse to forgive, and yet demand an unilateral apology from the other party even while having wounded the other party.
My mom is a narcisist, like my grandma, and to a lesser degree my sister. it’s something that was transmitted from mother to daughter genetically and culturally.
I also have that seed of narcisism possibility in me, though I keep it at bay through active empathy and love, I know that the nutrients onto which narcisism feeds to grow is insecurity and fear, and until I get rid of every single insecurity and fear, this seed won’t be entirely annihilated/extinguished.

For those who haven’t seen my intro yet, my plan for the next year is as such (as of now, November 17th, my 32th Birthday.)

The listening Plan

m01: Khan ST1 + DR: Regeneration
m02: Khan ST2 + Love Bomb
m03: Khan ST3 + Ascension
m04: Khan ST4 + DR: Regeneration
m05: Khan Black ST1 + DR: Limitless
m06: Khan Black ST2 + Ascension
m07: Khan Black ST3 + Sage Immortal
m08: Khan Black ST4 + DR: Limitless
m09: Khan ST1 + Khan Black ST1
m10: Khan ST2 + Khan Black ST2
m11: Khan ST3 + Khan Black ST3
m12: Khan ST4 + Khan Black ST4

Though I have some paths unveiled in front of me, and though I got a rough idea of the direction, I have yet to write down a precise vision of what I want to accomplish exactly.
I should do that when I’ll make some time for it.

#2

So, in the evening of the day before yesterday (17th), I cry and get very loving and emotional and somewhat distressed.
Yet, I was able to handle a family small crisis, though it is only barely buried under the surface given my mom, don’t wanna treat, and maybe don’t even see, the cause. instead she fights and flee. Well, we can’t face anyone to face their shadows, we can only set an exemple by facing our own and show the way forth.

Yesterday morning (Nov 18th, 8th listening day) I listened to 1m30s of Khan ST1. I had a feeling that was enough and I should stop it there. Even with that, I slightly cried in the morning and felt meh, to the point where a colleague asked if I was alright. I realise with much greater clarity the root of my issues, and want to treat them.
Feeling it is the first step healing. We have to see a wound if we wanna scoop out and scrape all the rotten stuff out of it, to then have an healthy base for the body to rebuild itself with care and attention.
I also did some exercise that I could do while working throughout the day. it helped with the feelings that I identified with being recon.
Well, at least it shows that it works and the issue was indeed stonewalling due to overexposure.
I am just now starting to feel the full depth and strength of the Khan experience, and exactly how much deeper and stronger ZP is compared to Q.
Q got me instant results, but I have a deep knowing that ZP will allow me to treat long term the full tree, from the roots to the fruits.

in the evening I listened to 1m30 of DP:Regen before sleep (only 30s more than on the 16th). I feel I should take it slow too, like with Khan, especially while being stacked with Khan.
Better do it carefully and well for 2 cycles than try to rush it and ruin efforts.

So yeah, I don’t think DR give me recon, but Khan does give me some. I’ll further reduce Khan to 1m waking up and try 3 minutes of DR in the evening tomorrow. Then if I still get Khan recon I’ll go down to 30s, but hopefully 1m should be enough and 3m of DR will be ok

#3

Yesterday (Nov 19), I felt the need to uninstall social media, so I did.
Plenty happened too, a friend (C) called me and was feeling terrible because she thought her bf broke with her (she got no self esteem, like at all) after he got her pregnant on accident (she missed taking the pill one day). She was upset too because a friend she introduced me to (another S, let’s say Sm) texted C’s bf late at night.
Sm also called me to ask me something but she wanted for it to wait until after work. I tried calling after work, no answer. meh, doesn’t matter.
I brievely thought some stupid things, like maybe I should try to act as a rebounce for C, but meh, nah doesn’t even wanna bother.
In the end settled on calling C’s bf (J) to see how he’s doing and what’s up.

in the end, it was a misunderstanding and I got him right after he was on the phone with C, he didn’t break up with her, but yeah some things she did didn’t sit well with him, like text him about being pregnant while drunk, after testing at a bar, while he was at a game with his kid that he didn’t see in a while.

C has a huge problem with alcohol, that she use to flee her toughts, memories, and self esteem issues.
if it were not for that, she’d be really awesome. she’s social and great at connecting people, but terrible at protecting herself and by extension those close to her due to her self esteem issues.

In the end, J made an ultimatum, she gotta highly slow down alcohol, he love her but if she stays on that path his reason will prevail over his heart. She decided to stop drinking for him. Despite him saying she should stop for herself. That’s great I’m glad she took that decision.

I also motivated my situationship since she was feeling in the dumps. I told her that I’ll be having my birthday with family on Sunday, she asked if she got permission to go out of the psychiatric hospital what would I do and I said “well, still go have my birthday with my family?” and she took it personally and ended the call. Meh, doesn’t matter.

late evening I relapsed on quick dopamine hit, I installed some mobile games and played. Yet, I reminded myself of the goals I wrote earlier that day. mobile games won’t help me hit my personality or skill goals, and neither will it bring me closer to achieving my Life Mission and plan to go toward it.

I gotta keep my eyes on the ball.
Not let myself be distracted by pretty flowers on the sde of the road.

I looked at libertine clubs and apps. This environment seems interesting and is compatible with the socializing part of the plan, especially since it’d help me meet interesting people that may help me further my goals toward local politics and entreprenership.
Though, I see the gap between where I am now and where I want to be even clearer now.
I’m lacking in class and prestige at the moment, in good clothes and good pictures, despite my upbringing in upper middle class.
All the more reasons to keep going and work.

Though I program at my job, I try to integrate some sports into it to compensate not having the motivation to go back to the gym (or cook some evenings…)
stuff I can do while at the coffee machine like squats or light exercise I can do at my desk.

This morning, I decided against going the full minute and only taking 40 seconds.
My reasoning is that, this morning I didn’t feel like listening. recon. so if it’s to do 1 minute to have recon and then drop to 30, I might as well do 30-some now and increase if no recon.

So far this is a success, no recon. only a deep knowing that I have to work on my life to get where I should be.
To make myself worthy of the trust and care the gods, dragons, and archangels trusted upon me.
To make good on what I sworn.
I asked to be a volunteer for the backstage of the world, and got bestowed with a contract and the tools to help. So I should. I am supported all the way anyway.
I shouldn’t let myself be distracted by pretty temporary flowers, I should make progress toward my eternal goal, my mission.
I have to be purposeful so as to not waste precious time and energy.

Edit (Nov 20th):
There wasn’t anything major yesterday (listening day n°9), Ja (my situationship that went to the psychiatric hospital after I called the cops on her at her demand, and who is finally advancing some I feel regarding admin, getting her rights, etc. I like her as a person and in bed, but I wanna help her more than I wanna be with her, but she loves me, so it’s complicated.) had a permission to leave from this morning 10AM to tomorrow noon so she asked if she could spend it at my place, so we will go see the match and celebrate my bday (that was monday) amongst friends with her.

Initially, there was supposed to be C, Sm, J and a friend of C, (Mi) but hey the more the merrier, so I invited Ja. Though C and Ja have issues with one another, hopefully it won’t lead to conflict, but C warned me she’ and Mi will keep their distance. I hope it’ll be a good evening still but hey there’s no reason why it wouldn’t? it may be more limiting than if Ja wasn’t there… but hey we’ll see what happen, it’s useless trying to imagine all that could go wrong, we may as well spend the energy imagining what could go right and on the job ^^

Yesterday evening, my cat was on me before sleep and my headset wasn’t in reach, so I listened to 3 minutes of DR: Regen as supersonic on my phone speaker.
it was kinda hard to reach the full 3 minutes, I started at half volume but it sounded so damn loud, I had to go to less than a quarter of the volume. I felt the need to stop at around 1m50 and 2m30 but I went the 3 minutes.
Though I wake up in the night so there might have been some tiny recon but not anything major.
Neither are there anything major so far today except being sleepy this morning.

Next listening cycle I’ll try to increase Khan at 1m in the morning see how it goes, and another 3 minutes of DR in the evening.
At this rythm, it might take me a full cycle to reach the full 15 minutes… But hey that’s my first time with subliminals and these are strong subliminals, so it’s fine.

#4

I experienced no recon yesterday, and there was no conflict during the hockey match so that’s great! though it was a bit taxing on Ja but we still made love at home.
Though she took things further than usual, and I was able to last way longer and with way more vigor and energy than usual. I can really see the effect of Khan, this is good.
We also had a discussion this morning.
On our expectations, our views on relationship and life, what we need and such.

I encouraged her to follow her heart and to not change for me. to tell me if I do something that bother her and I’ll tell her just the same.

I don’t want people to change and go against their heart and become sad and broken just because they wanna make someone else happy.

A polyamorous relationship, is like a garden, each plant and flower complement one another, There is partnership across a high range of diverse skills, wants, emotional needs, and such. it can be hard to organize, but the more people to help each others, the better life is for each.

A monogamous relationship on the other hand is like a bouquet of two flowers, when there’s only two flowers, incompatibilities become harder since there isn’t a third, fourth, or fifth to compensate and alleviate the weight of the incompatibility.

the weight is only shared between two, leading to compromises that can be hard.
but a compromise shouldn’t be so hard it goes against your values and identity that’d be ridiculous. don’t go cutting your arm off, change your identity and life, or die (literally or spiritually) for anyone but yourself and your own embetterment.

myself… idk what to do really. I feel I can be fine in a monogamous relationship but it can be hard a lot of time because of how isolating it feels. it feels trapping even at times. that’s why I got some emotional barriers in place with Ja, because although I really like her and want to see her strive, I don’t see myself with her in 10 years, except maybe as a friend, see what I mean?

Like, I want her to meet someone compatible with her, but I don’t see myself as that person.

Anyway, since I got no recon I did 1 minute of Khan this morning. in the evening I’ll do either 3 or 5 minutes of DR:Regen. I’ll see how I feel at the moment.

My goal for the stack I go with is to get going.
that’s really just my goal this year, get out of paralysis and act.
and that I find become easier. I introduce movements during my day to be more active and try and take better care of my home, although I still got a way to go.
still got a way to go with caring more for myself, but I find it easier to open myself up emotionally, allow myself to be more vulnerable.

But I need to act. Not only for my own sake.
cuz if I don’t act, if I just let life pass me by, doing naught, just being a wallflower that don’t even try to evolve into a beautiful and lively one, I might as well be dead.
and functionally, I’ll be.

Edit: well, I lied by “not only for my own sake”
Although I did save lives, literally, and do bring happiness and joy to people, this is for my own sake.
self embetterment will always be inherently for the self.
Not necessarily the self as the ego-centric I-mind, but as that that is larger.
the I am. at the core of our Spirit-vessel.
admittedly, if I were to disappear along with all I ever was and all I ever did as well as all memories of I, it would be a bad thing for the self,
ansd although I am unique and no single other person is I, and so individually each one of us is irreplaceable, and so in a way it would be a loss for the world, if I’m to be honest, I don’t really care?

I mean, I absolutely wanna see the world strive, but I am conscious that I do this from a egoistic standpoint, wanting to help the world, but still acting from that fear of not wanting to disappear across the multiverse rather than acting from pure love.
So, my motivation will have to be corrected eventually, because although there are good result, this standpoint is inherently limiting.

Like, I am not sure how I’d react if I were confronting into choosing to disappear for all eternity for the betterment of the world or stay even if that lead to more suffering.
Nah, I’m lying, I was confronted to that. and I swore to better myself to help humanity.
and if I’m still alive in this reality, it’s because there is that potential still that is seen in me.

So I have to treasure it and grow it, whether I see its fruits or not doesn’t matter but I gotta grow it. I swore I would. I signed the contract.
and yeah, I should also incorporate cultivating a heart that love even more.
a heart that love more than life.
and even bigger than that: a heart that love and care more than my singular existence for all existence.

Edit2: Yeah, next month’s LBFH will certainly help with that :eyes: Though Khan ST1 already help with dismantling fear and regen help with allowing myself to face them head on

Edit3: went with 5 minutes in the end. Yesterday and this morning I had fun imagining different stacks, like Inner Circle + Wanted Black, but the stack I have now is perfect for my current needs.

I certainly have goals in social development, local politics and entrepreneurship, which would require networking, but for now I really need to get on my feet and get going. That’s the most important. Without that, there is nothing.
A great building needs a great foundation.

Edit 4: I can see there is more attention on myself, people calling to get news. I also see myself being more attentive to details, and being able to deduce more efficiently from these.

I also see more deeply into failures, instead of seeing failures as wrong reasoning on my part, I assume I had the right reasoning and trace back what went wrong. Often it’s a complex tiny detail I missed. My reasoning was right but my view incomplete, and so since that failure was so niche, I can go much further faster using what can be deduced from it.

#5

Tomorrow will already be 20 days of Khan ST1, I intent on running 3 minutes since I got no recon.

I should have started with 30s from the start, this would have spared me a whole 2 weeks of tinkling with it. Since I got no issue, I’ll also listen to 10m of DR: regen in the evening.

I’ll then have 5 days of break at least, let’s make it a week.
So, next time on Khan ST1 will be July 2026 according to my scheduled listening plan.
And I’ll start with Khan ST2 + LBFH on Monday December 1st, with both at 30s (not making the same mistake twice)

#6

20 days since Khan started, 10 days since DR:Regen,
But since it’s a stack I’ll treat them as one and do a post-cycle rest week for both.
In the end, I was able to go that far on each:

Khan ST1: 3m (this morning)
DR:Regen: 7m (this evening) (Edit: felt like stopping at 3m, so I did)

We can see how much harder Khan is than DR… this artisanal warning is no joke.

On Monday I’ll start with Khan ST2 and LBFH, both at 30s.

Now on to the results:

I feel more assertive, I have less issues with failing and more introspective into the how I fail.
I got more endurance and more mojo, am less bothered by myself.
Though I still have issues with taking care of myself.
But I heavily reduced the Social Media addiction and stopped other addictions. I feel more at ease being honest with myself and others.

Though I felt at first a bit like an empty vessel, but I filled that vessel with ambition.
I know what I want. And I will get it.
It doesn’t matter how many lifetimes it takes, what matters is acting purposefully.
I am conscious of that. I feel that.

And yet I feel this barrier between consciousness and action I gotta push through.
But pushing through seems a bit easier.
Still hard, but easier.
It’s a skill, and one I’ll need to attain my objectives.
One I need to keep training.

I had a dream last night.
It was in one of these apartment cities that are widespread in the 25th century.
In this dream, I came from one of the upper floors luxury apartment but decided to go visit the lower floors, got lost, ended up forgetting where I came from.
In the parking, I got in an accident with one of the low floor residents. He was very agressive and I didn’t know what to do, but another low floor residents came to help me resolve this conflict.
It reminded me of the beauty in the heart of the people. Then I woke up.

I remember clearly because I woke up in the middle of that dream, listened to the 3 minutes of Khan ST1 and went back to sleep to that dream.
Though I woke up soon after to prepare myself for the day.

Edit:

Mmh, if it’s 30 listening days, not including rest days for a cycle before a washout, that means I’m only halfway through, despite what was said in my intro post (which were the old recommendations of 21 total days before a washout).
So as long as I follow a gradual microloop progression, it would be until Jan 1st for the 1st cycle.

My intuition tells me that’s right and that 2 years to master Khan and KhanB is reasonable, that any less would be foolish and jumping from sub to sub.
I’ll listen to my intuition. (Edit: therefore, continuing Khan ST1 + Dr Regen)
My guts and my body never failed me so far.

Edit 2:
Though, this is a good time for asking myself this question:
What does it means to be a Khan?
Many could go for the obvious answer, looking at what was purported of Genghis Khan, domination, pillaging, raw power, women.

But to me it is not.
This would be too simple.
Anyone can torture others to get what they desire, few may attain these without force.

What good is power for the self? the self is temporary and ever changing. we come into life empty-handed, and will leave empty-handed.
meanwhile, Glory is eternal.
And while Good Deeds echoes through time immemorial, bringing humanity forth into the eternal quest for greatness, Bad Deeds bring us down in the limbs, no better than the lowest of animals, maggots eating one another for mere crumbs.
Bad Deeds aren’t the way of the Khan.

My father raised me to be a good man, one of Honor. A Warrior of Light. Defender of the Weak less fortunate. a Leader.
This to me seem Glorious. A goal worthy of a Khan.

To create an eternal legacy of Good that resonate for Eons, bringing relief to millions, to billions.

Though I believe that in order to fully incarnate this, both the masculine and feminine energies need to be tamed, assimilated, and integrated.
Just like “Good” and “Bad” feelings/emotions may both be used to further our goals, the complementary Masculine and Feminine may be united into a single Tao.
The great pure energy/Force of Life.

This is what I strive to accomplish in this life, though this is merely the first step. A mean to progress on the path of eternal Glory and of lessening suffering for as many people as possible.

A business may have two paths:

  • either it is optimized to bring cash, materials, form, luxury and usury,
  • or it is optimized to bring Glory, Joy, Relief, Dignity, to as many people as possible.

I see SubClub as on the second path so far. quite a Glorious endeavor.
and similarly do I see life.

Life can be optimized for Matter over Spirit, for maximizing material temporary rewards, the satanic path; or it may be optimized for Spirit over Matter, prioritizing the eternal Glory of being a beacon of humanity, hope, and strength, a paragon of virtue, a light guiding people on the path toward their greater self. Shining for eternity in the heart of every being.

To me, although a Khan may use material means to reach his or her goals of Glory, these are mere means to an end and don’t take precedence over what truly matter, the Spirit of Good. the Eternal Glory.
Good Deeds. Mastery over the Self and the lower realm of forms. Spirit over Matter.

Cooperation and Guidance through Love over raw brutish forceful domination of others.

1 Like
#7

I think you’re talking about my post. They are not the old recommendations, they are the listening instructions. Because you’re using a newer title with anti-recon scripting (regeneration), you’re able to use the experimental longer micro looping cycle, if you’d like, but note ‘experimental’. Apologies for not adding this information to my post on your introduction thread.

1 Like
#8

Yeah I saw 21 days too on the zp listening guide pdf as well as also on the microloop thread,
21 is the instruction for full loops vs the newer (experimental) microloops who are 30 days

The microloops seems to work better for my case, hence why I use them.

1 Like
#9

Yeah. You can use micro loops on the 21 day schedule too. But yeah, finding what works best through experimentation is a fine way to do it.

1 Like
#10

Feeling somewhat melancholic right now. needy. and like I’m an unlikeable pervert.
and like as soon as everyone find out I’m a pervert theyll give up on me.

I know that’s one of the limiting belief I got so I know that’s recon.
I’ll reduce the time tomorrow. 3m → 1m30

but yeah tonight I’ll indulge and get a burger… tho I’m suppose to cook and eat healthy but I got no energy tonight. too down in the dumps.

I need a hug, but no one to get one from tonight

Maybe I should skip tomorrow and only listen the day after tomorrow

This one belief right there, along the fear of being abandoned…
hopefully the subs will help bust through these walls.
though I also gotta put in the work in understanding why they’re bs, maybe? I kinda can figure out where they came from but yeah

#11

So today (27 nov), after two days of rest, I listened to 3m of Regen right after waking up, I felt like I could go longer but stopped there, then pursued with a fat 3m of Khan ST1.

Yesterday as I was reading the wanted discussion thread I got reminded of the importance of journaling and meditating.

I also remembered myself of how
Identity influence what makes us feel alive which influence our values which influence our beliefs which influence our thoughts, which influence our actions.

And so, I began investigating thoroughly what action I took, following which thoughts, influenced by which series of beliefs, that were born to act upon which value.

I had trouble digging/investigating further due to just hitting more beliefs instead, I am not conscious of which question to act myself to trace values to what excites me.

Though I know Love and Beauty excites me, and that there’s a belief that try therefore to prioritize the relationship with others over the relationship to the self to try and protect this, try to protect how people like and love me so I can keep loving them.

I know these are limiting beliefs. I can love myself and I can love others without any reason, excuse, or actions.
And similarly, others can love me without any reason, excuse, or actions.

So really, there’s nothing to protect, only to experience. I don’t need to be on the defensive, I can be on the offensive of Love, loving myself without measure, and loving others through myself, instead of loving others outside of myself.

I feel this is an important breakthrough.
And that this process works and therefore is vital.

#12

No recon today, though not anything special either.
It seems that listening both one after another helped smooth out the edge of Khan.
Yesterday my colleague told me I looked tired.
Though with music as my ally I had the energy to take care of my home more.
and the prospect of going out and having fun this week end is motivating.

tomorrow I’ll try 5m-5m, it will be my 13th listening day, quite a lucky number ^^

Edit 1:
I’m wondering a bit as to why although OG Khan had an immediate effect, I haven’t had anything like it on ZP Khan, although it is more powerful, and although I feel that it works on a deeper level.

Maybe OG Khan act like an armor going over the deep inner self while ZP work on correcting durably the deep inner self belief and constructs ?

so while OG Khan overpower the deep inner self through an outer layer and get result to show it who’s right/who’s boss, ZP Khan walk the inner self through breaking the block walls that stopped it from acting as it wanted in the first place.
Well, at least that’s my hypothesis.

I’ve been wandering if Khan is right or not, if I wouldn’t do better on Wanted, if it wasn’t more congruent with myself.
I do already have a good aura of mystery and do like being approached after all.
but I know this preference with being approached has more to do with a fear of being rejected and a fear of being friendzoned.

Because I have been friendzoned so much I had a girl friend I liked and confessed to fuck another guy in my home in the room next to me the day after I confessed.
I could hear her moan and all.

Generally, I have had great success with two types of women :

  • Powerful and beautiful women (think, mafia leader, celebrities, DJs) who befriend me
  • Broken, not necessarily “conventionally beautiful” women who chase me.

Obviously, it is good to have friends especially like that, 100%.
but like why can’t I be with them on a higher level? 🥲

though I no longer attract since I went back on presenting as a guy, although I am very handsome and got a good vibe (as confirmed by other people)
I had way more success when I presented as a woman.
it may have to do with my aura.
Probably, I should go back to presenting as a woman and stop trying to present as/pretend to be a guy.

Edit 2:
Or maybe it has to do with congruence, since my feminine side is stronger and more powerful than my masculine side.
my feminine side is more dominating and active while my masculine side is more passive. (even if it’s still not quite submissive, but it’s shunned? the domination get shut down and emotions tuned down)

so Khan (dominating/active) would thus prob work more if I’m more feminine and so more congruent.

Edit 3:
mmh, While I will be doing that, I will probably adapt the stack to make it more beginner friendly.
Make it more congruent with the kind of person I know I got inside me.
I already found my happy adventurous self once a couple years back, so it should be easy to bring it back to the surface.

so maybe something like
LBFH + Genesis: Art of Happiness for a month
then swap Genesis: AoH for Genesis: Discover your Purpose for a month
then maybe swap Genesis for GLM, since I agree a fuckton with stoicism and quite like it
then by that time I should be able to take on Khan once again for real this time.
I’ll prob have gone back on HRT by that time which will help me be myself even more.

idk the timeline when I’ll make the switch, it’s been 24 days since I started but I’ve mostly been doing microloops. Maybe I’ll take one last hit of Khan + DR:Regen tomorrow as planned before switching stack.

#13

So, this weekend was pretty nice, chill too.
I didn’t got any recon, I got the determination to do what need done, aka freeze my gamete at the fertility clinic and go back on the path to myself.

I know I love Ja sexually, and want her to succeed. want her to create a solid plateform for herself, a salary, a place to live, maybe a car.
I want her to have this base so that she may rise up and shine. I know she can become a famous artist if she only let herself be, if she did introspection, found the source of the fog that clouds her mind, the shadows of her past, and integrate it using it for herself instead of against herself.

I don’t really know if I am able to love in the human sense of the term really.
Especially with this wall between me and my emotion that rose from me not being myself for the past year.
I am able to support and help, but losing myself in the process is foolish.
well, it’s not really losing myself since I am here.
but as I paused the process and regressed to a previous state, my progression stagnated and regressed back as well.

Though not as low as I was for most of my life, but that just goes to show how much higher the baseline is.
I know that I can attain all of my goals.
Become a celebrity writer and spokesman, a coach, and have success both in politics and in social movements.

I have the keys and abilities to hold all of these.
I have the ability to bring lots of change.
but right now, I am not I.

I am sat, cross-legged on the grass on the side of the road to my destiny.
But I saw what it looks like.
and I see what awaits along the road.
and I will rise and go grab it.

#14

Monday I ran LBFH and Genesis:AoH 1 minute each
Yesterday I ran it 5 minutes each
There’s no recon, like I had on Khan and I got some of my wimsy back so that’s great ^^

Edit: And now, third day of the new cycle of happiness, I just finished listening to 10 minutes each.

LBFH was way easier than Genesis: AoH, I think because it’s easier for me to love others than it is to love myself and be happy, though I am generally a happy and loving person when I’m not brooding lmaoo

nah but like I don’t brood that often? though I will need to get my life into my hand and start walking my way again as I said in earlier messages. my conscious know I don’t need that to be happy since happiness come from within, but I don’t feel myself without acting like myself you know? and some things do help with that “feeling myself” like having the right hormones running through my body iykyk :wink:

But yeah I’m taking the steps for that :raised_hands:

Edit 2: evening of the third day
I feel like I can handle a third title with these two, they feel light enough. Chosen came to mind.
And reading the short summary, it feels like myself so it should work well too :grin:
Edit 3:
Alright, just got it, my instinct never failed me :muscle:
Edit 4:
I listened to 30 seconds of it and felt power surge through my mind.
Yeah yeah I know 3 titles in a day 10m 10m and 30s
But damn it feels good to be me
It feels good to be me
To be myself.
Even now maybe 1 or two hours after I’m bathing in the afterglow, I did all that needed to be done and I’m happy.
This was missing to the stack Indeed yeah
Wow.
I still feel energy coursing through my whole body
And endless joy

#15

I feel that the stack that most closely ressemble me would be Chosen + LBFH + Limitless
in that sense the current stack of Chosen + LBFH + Gen:AoH allow me to expand more on gratitude and joy in comparison.
I am extremely satisfied with the current stack. it feels great. Brings me back to myself, to the core of my being.
Next month I’ll switch Gen for Limitless and start learning a new language (since I’ll travel abroad in February), but for now I’m going to keep bathing in the boundless ocean of joy, happiness and love :relieved:

Edit:
I’m on the coming down from the “high” from yesterday’s listening lol, but well I’ll be with friends this evening so it should be good
though idk if I’ll stay at 10m LBFH, 10mGen:AoH, 30s Chosen tomorrow or if I should increase Chosen to 1m, I guess I’ll have to see on the spot what my instincts tell me.
There’s quite a debate going on in my subconscious, I can feel it physically, though I don’t have conscious awareness of the matter.

But yeah, I was able to do lots of things in my routine yesterday and even this morning that I usually can’t bring myself to do, taking better care of myself and my living environment,
Though I note that I was more hungry than usual today, probably from the unusually high psychic energy expense.

Edit 2:
Yeah, instincts tell me I got good results and avoided recon through spending the energy in action, but I should listen to the same amount of time tomorrow, to make sure goes well once again, and increase monday