Heya, I am not used to journaling, especially since I have a good memory, but I figured it might be nice.
I have first started listening to Khan 13 days ago, and Dragon Reborn:Regen 3 days ago, so yesterday was a listening day.
1st listening day (nov 4th)(KhanQ) and day after
I started KhanQ ST1 on November 4th, a friend sent me KhanQ telling me it’s a subliminal that would help me get more powerful.
I listened to the full hour, felt hot and like rushing with both energy and confusion?
But I knew it did something.
I felt my brain working throughout the day, I did another loop right before sleeping and felt yet more energy running through me, especially down at my groin and up in my head, though I felt energy pumping from my toes to my chest.
the instruction inside said to run it every other day, so the morning after I didn’t run it.
Though guys at work and at the bakery where more friendly and chatty with me.
it kinda reminded me of the morning after when I signed a contract with multidimensional beings and was raised up but in less powerful, though I felt more empowered I didn’t feel as much euphoria as back then and strangers didn’t come up to me to tell me their lives, but nevertheless it did highly improve my aura as seen from the look people gave me.
I also caught myself sexualising women, throwing way more glances at their assets than I use to.
Even though I usually have no trouble being respectful and not looking at them like I’m desperate. I felt more lustful than usual too. A friend invited me to go to another friend’s birthday the coming friday.
2nd listening day (nov 6th)(KhanQ) and day after
I felt my brain processing yet more data, I like that feeling. I listened to some PsychoCybernetics, caught myself glancing at more women, and seen people glancing at me, I find myself with a better posture than usual, though I feel my bones reorganising themselves and got some back strain, I decided to massage myself.
In the afternoon I listened to a 1h loop again, felt very hot and bothered, but powerful, in the evening before sleeping I listen to yet another loop, and decide to use active imagination as well to see myself in the position I want, I felt yet more energy rush in at both my groin and head/crown, so I circulate it throughout my body, using the mudra and pose that felt right to completely circulate energy throughout my body while listening to the sub and using active imagination.
The morning after I felt yet more lustful, though I managed going through the day, working while listening to psycho cybernetics, integrating what was said to me as well as my own self-view. I decided to search online where the Khan was coming from and buy it since it worked so extremely well, it’s important to reward experts who must’ve put an awfuly long time and a whole bunch of talent putting together something like that.
in the evening I went to the friend’s friend b-day, though since I work a lot and they started early I arrived kinda late, but it was really fun ^^ we weren’t a lot, only my friend (let’s call her C), my friend’s friend (let’s call him S), and a friend of that friend’s friends (she’ll be L). We chilled looking at (quite erotic) music clips, eating chips, and chatting about fun life adventures. My friend went to sleep not long after I came since she was tired so we were three left S, L, and I. While talking about life, I saw how L had some issues with confidence, though she put a lot in her looks, she’s pretty and she knows it but get jealous easily because of poor confidence, since I get where she’s coming from I gave her some life advice on how to improve her confidence and find the strength in herself to overcome difficulties and come through stronger than she was, well, not stronger per say, but to unlock the strength she already has hidden inside. after that she mellowed out a lot, we danced a bit, she grinded on me, she taught me how to make a good twerk and then we chilled in the sofa with S, she layed on me and put my hand on her boobs, letting me heavily pet her, after that we tried some heavy chili S gave us to try and we had our mouth on fire god damn, even though I’m kinda used to take strong sauce but these chili were out there. after that my friend woke up, C and L had a fight. For a time they were yelling “my bf’s gonna come and fuck you” and stuff like that, but even with being autistic I knew that if there was going to be any kind of orgy, it would have already started; and the evening kinda stopped on that note.
3rd listening day (nov 8th)(KhanZP) and day after
The morning after that was a listening day, I tried listening one full loop of ZP in the morning and a full loop of ZP in the evening.
the loop of ZP didn’t feel at all like running Q, with Q I felt the energy rising at the beginning and the atmosphere being hotter, and the energy and heat going down at the end, but with ZP there was none of that. Also, I was unable to do active imagination while running ZP, I imagine because it’s much more condensed than Q.
Nonetheless, I was horny and my situationship asked if I wanted to go see her, so I went to see her, we chilled, and had sex. I felt really tired afterward, I tried going to the gym but had to stop early because I was too tired. I figured because I don’t care enough about my nutrition these days, and that I should be careful to cook and eat in the evening.
following week, 4th, 5th and 6th listening days, and day after
In the following week, there wasn’t much of note. I felt stressed out by work a bit, and got the help of family to sort out my house, moving furniture around, but aside from that nothing. I often felt my back hurt. I wanted to run the subs, and ran full 15m loops in the morning and the evening on the 4th and 5th listening days but there were no sign of the insane progress I had in the first few days on Q.
so I started reading more of the forum and guide for clues. that’s when I made my intro post on the 10th day after beginning, 5th listening day, on Nov 14.
I decide then to add Dragon Reborn Regeneration, and figure that I may be “Stonewalling” the Khan ZP.
since I listened to 15 minutes of Khan ZP in the morning (and found myself to be subconsciously nodding at a couple parts), I listened to 1 minutes of DR:Regen in the evening right before going to see friends at a match. the 1 minute of DR:Regen felt strong, so that confirmed I may have been stonewalling the khan by using full loops.
I had a lot of fun that evening, I cheered the full time, learned the songs to cheer and jeer, and made new friends (one of them a sailor with a ton of fun adventures and anecdotes.)
the day was chill I went around the city with my situationship, and starting touching the idea that I gotta work on myself, and she agree she does too, but don’t wanna leave me, but got an opportunity on the other side of the country to find job opportunities and housing. I encourage her to do what’s best for her. that evening I cooked and it felt good, but yeah I should go on a groceries run…
7th listening day (nov 16)(KhanZP) and day after
on the 7th listening day, I ran 3 minutes of Khan, and 3 minutes of DR:Regen, somehow the 3 minutes of Khan felt stronger than the full 15 min, so I think that’s a good thing? Anyway my situationship wanted to see me that day too, so I finished taking care of the house and went to see her. we walked and talkeed mostly. she doesn’t wanna leave me but she has to do what’s best for her.
She seemed to want us to continue long distance but personally I highly doubt that’d work. Nonetheless, I agree entirely that she should absolutely do what’s best for her, to follow what her heart and joy tell her to, to pursue her dreams and aquire the security and later renown that she seeks even if that implies going on the other side of the country. the security is the baseline onto which life is built, as the pyramid of need shows us. we can’t self actualise if we don’t feel safe.
Personally, I feel more wanting to help her and wanting to have fun with her than really loving her and wanting to be with her, but she want something serious and have a much lower libido than I as the last year shown me, so that’s an incompatibility. I don’t wanna manipulate her into doing anything she doesn’t want to, so separating would be best, but I don’t wanna hit her with that when she’s vulnerable, hence the situationship. If she go on the other side of the country rebuild her life, it would indeed be the very best for the both of us.
Today (Nov 17) I feel, somewhat normal? more myself? I feel that Khan ST1 give the energy needed to heal through DR. I feel more at ease, my back hurt less, and I feel somewhat more confident though not to the level of Q yet. I wanna take care of myself and my home.
I plan on maybe redoing 3 minutes of Khan tomorow to make sure (or maybe 1 minute? it was kinda hard to take the full 3 minutes last time), and increase DR to 5 minutes
For those who haven’t seen my intro yet, my plan for the next year is as such (as of now, November 17th, my 32th Birthday.)
The listening Plan
m01: Khan ST1 + DR: Regeneration
m02: Khan ST2 + Love Bomb
m03: Khan ST3 + Ascension
m04: Khan ST4 + DR: Regeneration
m05: Khan Black ST1 + DR: Limitless
m06: Khan Black ST2 + Ascension
m07: Khan Black ST3 + Sage Immortal
m08: Khan Black ST4 + DR: Limitless
m09: Khan ST1 + Khan Black ST1
m10: Khan ST2 + Khan Black ST2
m11: Khan ST3 + Khan Black ST3
m12: Khan ST4 + Khan Black ST4
Though I have some paths unveiled in front of me, and though I got a rough idea of the direction, I have yet to write down a precise vision of what I want to accomplish exactly.
I should do that when I’ll make some time for it.