Journey into the Deep

Journals - Major Programs
#25

Thank you
I saw your other posts on the forum and I have a great esteem of your opinions, thoughts, and recommendations.
I will definitely take it into account.
Though I should still only rotate out one title at a time

so the next three months will look like
LBFH + gen:AoH + Regen
LB + gen:AoH + Regen
LB + Regen + GLM

That way, I can keep it centered a bit more on me and on healing, as you advise

Also, as I read EXPERIMENTAL: Zero Point Stack Rotation - Subliminal Club Support Hub that Venus sent in the experimental ZP thread I realize, I haven’t made any washout so far, never mind 12 days :upside_down_face: no wonder that I slept a whole 13 hours the other day lol
yeah I’ll have to take a good long two weeks washout for christmas/new year at least, but hey I’ll start the new year on a good foot ^^

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#26

Today I listened for the 6th day, so after 3 days without exposure, a slightly longer break than I intended lol
I also listened to a bit more accidentally, didn’t look too much and listened to 5 minutes instead of the 4 minutes of chosen I intended, plus 7 minutes of LBFH and Gen:AoH still ^^
Friday I was tired still, and still processing, though the Christmas lunch at work was nice and I got to eat well and see friends ^^

Yesterday I had a good day too I went with my SO to eat a tartiflette I cooked at her mom’s, before a friend called us to go to a birthday, so I went with my SO’s mom since the birthday boy was about her mom’s age, so they both had fun discussing with each others, it was a good day.
Though in the evening we were supposed to go to an island party but my friend’s mom who had the reservations was too tired so she canceled, we ended up eating a pizza the three of us and playing card games.

Today I was supposed to go see my dad and my mom, eat a raclette with them, but since my mil and sister are sick we ended up canceling too, so I spent the day with my SO, we baked a cake, had a walk in the forest gathering moss and mushrooms, it was a fun day ^^ now our toad got a much more fun terrarium

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#27

It was supposed to be my 7th day today, but I feel I need one more rest day.
So I decided to talk a bit more about the happenings instead.

I figured it was unfair to my SO/GF/long term relationship that I stay with her when I am more in love with being with someone than in love with her, even though she love me a fucking ton.

and I know that will break her and it makes me nauseous because I don’t want to hurt her, I want her to have a solid basis onto which to build life, but I know this cannot be me because although I like her as a person I fell out of love with her and so anything build would be built on a lie and I let this go too far.

and so, I know I don’t have any choice, I have to be fair to her, to break things as clean as possible and do anything in my power so that she have the support to pick the pieces back up, hoping that I won’t break too much the momentum of stability and hope she’s on.

I will be the asshole that breaks things up, but if I don’t I’ll be even worse, as I’d just be using her instead of being level, I would’nt be honest.

and there is no good reason not to do it now aside from fear of how it’ll make her feel, because I know that in any case I’ll have to eventually do it and the more I let it ferment the worse it will be for her when it happen.

My dad asked me a question after our last fight, would I still see myself with her 10 years from now? and the response is clearly no.

So, that’s what it is.

#28

Oh, also here’s some more general life news:

In february I’ll have my first vacation in a very long time, more than a year, more than 3 years if we count outside the country, I’ll be going to thailand for two weeks with my family :blush: So I’ll try to learn some thai in the meantime (I always try to learn the basic of the language when I go to a country, I figure the least I can do to be polite and respectful of the people and culture is to take interest in it.

Also, entirely unrelated, during the year I will have an appeal on a condamnation for assault with a weapon. (turning the knife against someone who tried to murder me and two friends)

more details

for context, a Friend (the victim, Dan) I had in common with another friend Cin, liked Cin very much, we went a few times to a cheese festival and getting mushrooms in the forest, he gave her some money quite often in the back of his wife with whom he had some issues because of his closeness with Cin.

One day, after drinking a lot the three of us, Cin went to do her job as barmaid and ended up kissing a girl she met that night, Dan got very upset, said some transphobic things like this isn’t natural, Cin, I, and our new friend Ali ended up leaving the bar and going to another, telling Dan to leave us alone, which incidentally made him even more upset.
he followed us until the other bar and got thrown out because he started getting aggressive.
He went to his car, drove to the bar, and threatened to slaughter Cin, pulling out a knife the length of his forearm, she kicked his reflector, he left.
We decided to go to a grocery store, take some bottles (beer, coke, whisky) and go back home, I carried the coke and beers.
Dan ended up following us to the grocery store, the patrons of the bar seeing that ran over there and helped held him off, we fleed.
He pursued us in the streets, even going against the signalisation, we called the police while running away, he pursued us for like half an hour until we tried to hide in a parking and he found us.
the two friends Cin and Ali fled, I was paralyzed by fear.
He got out of his car, reflexedly I take the coke above my shoulder in a threatening/defensive position, he said don’t fuck with me and go back into his car to take his knife, I put down the bottle and the beer, and advance mechanically, he advance too.
He is in front of me and have his knife in his right hand blade toward the sky, I am unarmed,
I kicked his hand and the knife fell to my right and his left.
I am scared he might take his knife and kill me, I take the knife with my left hand, blade toward the ground.
I tell him to back off and start backing off myself.
I feel threatened, maybe he thrown himself at me, before I know it I have a bleedy knife in my left hand, and he have a bleeding left leg.
I throw the knife in the garbage spot nearby, get the beers, and run away to the central plaza, I find Cin and Ali while running away.
on the central plaza, I see Dan caught up to us in his car, he told me “you stabbed me”,
I tell him “go to the hospital”, he respond “if I go to the hospital I’ll take you to court”, before leaving his car and going toward us, at that point the police arrive, start to arrest him, finally he leave with the firefighters and I go with the police.
I was with them in a cell for nearly two days giving them as much details as possible and awainting the result whether I’ll go to court immediately for assault or not, in the end not since Dan survived (thanksfully, it got close to his femoral artery, he was wounded from the external thigh but the knife was so big it ended up almost all the way through)

Still, I got condemned despite me giving a good speech according to my lawyer (who ended up being useless unfortunately, despite going to the cabinet of the dean of the local prestigious law school, specialized in self defense, he put a new lawyer on the case) my plea was mostly that I was scared due to having been the victim of multiple attacks and murder attempts throughout my life, and that I wanted to protect my two friends from someone who tried to kill them and wanted no one to be hurt.
I hoped to have the court see the self defense, but they didn’t take it into account telling me I could have fled after disarming him.
though the sentencing was extremely light, the legal minimum.

but the issue is not with the 3 month suspended jail sentence, but with having to pay the medical bills of Dan, hence why I appealed.
If I have to pay his medical bills I’ll surely have to either downgrade my home or sell my car.
I have been letting a homeless person live at my place for a while and money is tight when feeding two mouths on one salary.

But yeah, since then I realized my part of responsibility. I should have seen he was upset and delt with him diplomatically already back then even through his homophobic insults. Calmed him down and sent him home reassured instead of just fleeing.
So I sent a letter to excuse myself for my behavior back then, through his brother.
I will have to give the best mea culpa feasible in the history of court if I hope to get away without paying for his medical fees, but I hope the judges will see his part of responsibility in the affair, that I am not a dangerous person, and that the punishment (having to sell and downgrade my home) is disproportionate related to what I did (well, at least these are my point of view. I will have to see things from their side as well if I ever hope to make an effect. “How to make friends” will be vital in that)

#29

a bit of a wild ride today lol, did 7m LBFH, 8m20 of chosen (forgot to look at the timer, it went smoothly after a bit of me looking at the time around &m30)), 7m20 of AoH (didn’t look too much at the timer either.

Yesterday I broke up with my former SO Ja, and then we went Cin, Ja and I see a hockey match, overall it was good, except that Cin don’t feel her So give her the attention she needs, she don’t see him often as he’s always either working or being the hockey team speaker or taking care of his childs, which is comprehensible tbf, but yeah.

All around it feels ok to well.
Ja didn’t take it badly, she has an apartment and welfare coming up so she’ll be fine even without me.
On my side, I’ll have to focus on myself and resolving my own issues lmao

#30

So yeah, from what I see 2 days rest between listening to the three titles seems fine for me,
I feel great, I take decisions to separate from people that bring problems and have bought problems in the past, I’m slowly healing from my savior syndrom (though I guess I still have quite a way to go!) and am aggreable while doing so, people seem to like me and be happy around me, good for them! ^^

So my two weeks washout was supposed to start on the 22nd
if I take two days of rest, my next listening day will be the 20th
though if I take one day rest, I’ll be able to listen twice, the 19th and the 21st.
but yeah, less is more, and in any case I’ll pick subs back up on Jan 5th, so I might as well just listen on the 20th and just push the times a bit :stuck_out_tongue:

Starting jan 5, I might try Billion’s unofficial listening schedule rotating the three stack so I got two exposures of each every week. Not forgetting that we should take 7 days more off a title between rotating it out.

So the schedule would look like

First cycle: LBFH-AoH-Regen

  • Mon 5th: LBFH - Regen
  • Wed 7th: AoH - Regen
  • Fri 9th: AoH - LBFH
  • Mon 12th: LBFH - Regen
  • Wed 14th: AoH - Regen
  • Fri 16th: AoH - Regen
  • Mon 19th: AoH - Regen
  • Wed 21th: AoH - Regen

Second cycle: LB-AoH-Regen

  • Mon 26th: LB - Regen
  • Wed 28th: LB - AoH
  • Fri 30th: AoH - Regen
  • Mon 2nd: LB - Regen
  • Wed 4th: LB - Regen
  • Fri 6th: LB - Regen
  • Mon 9th: LB - Regen
  • Wed 11th: LB - Regen

Third cycle: LB-GLM-Regen (my vacation should start around that time)

  • Mon 16th: Regen - GLM
  • Wed 18th: LB - GLM
  • Fri 20th: LB - Regen
  • Mon 23th: Regen - GLM
  • Wed 25th: LB - GLM
  • Fri 24th: LB - Regen
  • Mon 9th: Regen - GLM
  • Wed 11th: LB - GLM

idk yet if I’ll continue that third cycle for a while, I’ll have to see at the time, or if I rotate regen out and put something else then. (in which case, in the third cycle it’ll be LB + GLM from Wed 25th onward)

The official alternative 2 days rest scenario while listening to all three (though listening to all three is not recommended ZP listening schedule…) would have 6 listening day per 21 day cycle + 3 days rest
the last two listening days being only the two that stays

This listening schedule in comparison give 7 listening days to the two titles that stays, and still 4 to the title to be rotated.
it compensate by giving one more washout day (4 instead of 3)
but it seems more consistent than with two days rest and 3 days washout. it seems like it’d be less roller-coastery lol

Love is one of the most powerful energies of all, because it is the basis, the framework onto which Nature, the external world is built.

Though it’s the Sexual energy that put us in motion indeed, or we would just bask in bliss while Nature would provide, the Garden of Eden, but even then Sexual energies are powered through the framework of Love.

So by cultivating Love from within myself, I can build a solid framework from which self-respect and thus discipline may flow freely, as they are downstream from, and dependent upon, the source of Love.

By meditating on stoicism with GLM, I may cultivate Resilience from external and internal events and circumstances, it will be the barrier that protect the stream of Love.

And through Regen, I will be able to clear the rocks and debris that lay upon the bed of the stream, polluting it.

Hopefully with those three, I’ll be able to make a raging river off of this modest stream, a river able to power the machines of the mind and bring properity to the whole world downstream.

The Socratic Method of Questioning and Its Power in Conscious Guidance and Action
#31

I want to expand on that, since while this is a belief (though I don’t see it as limiting) it is one that came from reflecting upon the world and myself; though I obviously hold neither the key to comprehending the whole of reality, nor even the entirety of all my ever-changing inner structures.

I see Nature as ever giving,
we are born on this Earth with nothing, and leave with nothing,
in the meantime, we are provided food, water, light, heat, everything we need.
and throughout life we give that back, we produce heat, we produce biolight, we pee, we defecate.
What we take in, we use and we give back, until we die and even after, becoming nutrients from which plants feed.

This giving back and forth is not to the detriment to one or the other, but synergetic.
because I eat cherries and spit the seed, a cherry tree might grow there.
so it is not to the detriment of the tree that I eat its fruit.
and similarly it’s neither to my detriment or the bush’s detriment that I pee next to it, giving back water and nutrients, fertilizing the ground.

and, I do see Love similarly as the Sun. giving without expectation and seeing life unfold thanks to these gift.
Not giving anything that I need for my own growth, but rather the natural result of my growth.
The light from the Sun is produced by the heat of the fusion process that grows it and keep it alive, producing ever more complex and heavy atoms in the process.

and I see sexual energies as an expansion of Love into Life,
The excitment, the Lust for Life and physicality that keep us going and growing,
the Lust for power, the Lust for meaning, the Lust for importance, the Lust to grow more Love, the Lust for the pleasures of the flesh.

Though Love express in Nature as mutually beneficial giving, it doesn’t necessarily induce movement.
Trees don’t move much, and neither does the Sun, or the Lands and Continents.
They do move, but not by much relatively to their station, very slowly.

Lust on the opposite brings movement.
Because we Lust for power, we will work on growing it.
Because we Lust for meaning, we will go on a quest to find it.
Because we Lust for importance, we will work toward having more impact on the world.
Because we Lust for the pleasures of the flesh, we will try to seduce others.

Because we Lust for more Love, we will work on seeing it more,
that Love that permeate reality.

But then, don’t we lust for all of these because we love life?
Isn’t it our Love, and our attachment, toward physicality that keep us craving, Lusting, for all of that?
and isn’t the very source of these cravings the ignorance of the abondance of all of these and of all the Love behind, within Life?

and so, to me, Lust(s), sexual energies, are the mechanisms powering the unfolding, the process of realizing our infinite potential into finite physicality, and this sexual mechanism is powered by our very Love for physicality and Life.

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#32

So, yesterday I listened to 10 minutes of LBFH while doing dishes, then 13m of Chosen and 13m of G:AoH while cooking, I lost track of time a bit lol they went smoothly, aside for a single point in Chosen around 1m30s-1m45s that still cause slight recon/ wanting to stop the sub (no idea why)

Also, I had kind of nasty thoughts while listening, about how my friend who’s kind of a slut and a tease let everyone sleeps with her but me.
This is kinda true but still not cool of me to think that, I thought I’ve grown beyond such pity party about petty envy.

Like she did do big orgies and not invite me, despite knowing I like them, and she did do me some nasty stuff, like sleeping with someone she’s known for less than a week 3 days after I told her I loved her and while she seemed extatic at the news back them.

They fucked in my house on my couch while I was in my bedroom. There’s only a wall with a huge glass bay between my bedroom and living room, I could see all and hear all.

3 days after I told her I loved her.
This is not the only time that happened.
How silly.

Like, you can fuck anyone you like, I don’t care if you get into foursomes sleep with both 20yo and 70yo, but like please don’t go teasing me, letting me touch you, and then ask for permission to go fuck some dude you barely know, and fuck them in front of me? Like, I don’t have a cuck kink? I have a heart too? She tell me she loves me and that I’m beautiful, and then she go sleep around with 3 to 5 guys at a time and not let me even once.
Like I don’t care that she sleep around, I’m poly, but why not let me try too? And why tell me that you love me, that I’m the one she really loves, that I’m beautiful, that you admires me and then act like that?

I guess I’m still not over that, huh…
That’s stupid.

Also her selling 2000 worth of consoles and games that I lent her for her daughter. She sold it for 100 euros that she wasted on blow and alcohol. (While I believe she don’t take nearly as much C anymore, she is a huge alcoholic) I know from a friend in common to whom she confessed, she lied to me telling me she broke them in a fit of anger.
I’m not that upset that she stole them, but like I’m more upset that she sold them for 100e, like to me it would have been more respectful if she broke it, or if she didn’t lie to me.

Well, in any case for Christmas I plan on painting my family, I think it’ll be very nice :blush:

And everyone is very nice to me and I feel loving, people are happy all around so that’s awesome.
I had a very good time eating with my ex’s family yesterday, despite that I know what her dad and grandpa did to her and her sister while they were kids (but my ex has buried these memories for now so she was happy to see her dad for lunch. Classic survival mechanism)

I told them about the reason that led me to break up with Ja since they asked and they were very understanding.
Well, her early family life gave her lots of trauma and issues, her father thrown her outside the home at 15yo and she ended up in parties with drugs with bad people, she had a very difficult life.

Though she got better since I got with her,
and now that she get help with administrative stuff and psychiatrists she’s going to keep getting better and better, thats all that I wish for her, that she get better, become the renowned artist that she want to be, and can be if she only give herself a chance, and meet someone that will be compatible, someone that love her and whom she love, someone that make her happy.

Hopefully now that she saw what a healthy relationship is like, she won’t go toward people that hurt her. Hopefully.
I once saw the friend I was talking about, Cin, do huge leaps in progress, get a job, see if she could maybe have her own place, stop taking C, reduce the amount of alcohol, but as soon as I left it all went down again, drugs sex and heavy metal.
Like a rubber bouncing back as long as we don’t hold it anymore.

But yeah, with all that, this listening plan of going toward Regen + LB + GLM is gonna be much needed lmaoo

#33

There was quite some recon today, despite having a marvelous day seeing my dad side of the family again.

Some feeling of impending doom, some time my chest was tight.

I felt ashamed seeing myself on old family videos, struggling with being social, being my unmasked autistic self, explaining tons of stuff, trying to be charismatic and like a reporter.
Mocked that kid’s me a bit.

And afterward, I said sorry and thanked that kid version of myself for all it has done. Keeping me alive, helping me become who I am, that curious little kid that learned a fuck ton since.
This kid is that kid.
I am me.
This kid is me.
I am this kid.
I forgave myself for judging, and that kid for their mistakes. That kid was doing their best with what they got.

We’ve gone a long long way since and it wasn’t easy.
Thank you, me, for taking me so far.
I will make sure to continue on the way and do my part as well.

#34

So, this is it.
The start of two weeks of washout, after two months of listening to subliminals on the regular.
I have no idea how it will be
Will it be easy? hard? soft? tender? delicious? Damn now I’m thinking about it like food lmao

Well, in any case it will be, much like how christmas will be
Christmas are a bit hard on me as I don’t have much if any money to do gifts and I’m otherwise uncomfortable with christmas gatherings, though this year I invested a bit in paint and canvases, so I can make gifts still without paying (that) much
and we’ll see how that goes, both this washout and christmas.
still, subs helped me take decisions that I feel might have been harder otherwise.
I still have quite a few actions to take, but I’m a bit more ready and willing to take them.

but hey, even if it makes it 20% easier, that’s already huge, though it would be foolish to try to quantify help and support when it come to immaterial things like the mind and subliminals lmao
but yeah, they do help.

#35

for how I see 2026… it seems like lots of things will start for me, following the many decisions and endings of 2025. also maybe finally starting to see the end of the tunnel of financial issues.

I still don’t know what to do with Cin, on one hand I’d like to have sex with her, on the other I know she got a fucking ton of issues to work on to get her life in order and so I’ll need to give her tough love, tell her stuff she might not like but that may help her realize that her lifestyle is a problem, if she doesn’t already know, and maybe get her to seek help regarding it.
Notably her huge addiction to alcohol that highly worsen her self esteem issues.
She tries to flee herself through alcohol but cannot flee feelings and emotions, as it only make her less conscious throughout. and so, she hurt herself and the people around her, people that she love, and people that love her.
Probably that I’ll listen to reason and the noble path and do what I need to do in the end.

For how I see the future… following the schedule described earlier

I will probably want to continue with preparing myself for my court date, as I will be the one who do the most talking and will need to be flawless to convince the magistrate.
and so will probably pivot over the cycles that follow toward RoD +L:RAIKOV + a third title (maybe L:Polyglot?), and watch a bunch of legal stuff and great jury, great lawyers, conference people, etc. prepare a speech, join toastmasters, do whatever I can to improve.

Once that legal stuff is done, well I’d really like to see spiritual stuff a bit like Alchemist or RoS, along with RoD still, though I know that money will also need to be developed…
I’ll have to check what way to go with my oracles and through meditation.
probably that if I lose I will have no choice but to focus on building wealth as I would have to sell my car, sell my appartment, or sell my agricultural land; That’d be a really low point in my life if that happened, so that’s all the more motivation to do my best.
Even then, I’ll have to continue Khan along with wealth titles eventually, to resolve any doubt or fear regarding money or lack thereof, and in order to get going financially.
So yeah, anyway, if I can build a good foundation there in the next 3 months, and then develop enough my charisma and speech by the time I go in front of court, it would be great.

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#36

Absolutely recommend these two.

I think having a wealth title to accompany these may also be helpful as well. Although keep in mind I’m heavily biased with most of these titles, so just do what feels right for you and your situation.

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#37

Yeah, I guess you’re right, something like the new Ascension, while not a purely wealth title, it got wealth scripting) could go well with them and prepare the way for other wealth titles afterward :thinking:
Thank you :blush:

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#38

I feel the lady at the bakery, might have a crush on me, I gave her my name and asked her’s, though I didn’t have the courage to ask her out for a coffee yet, not sure I’m in a position to be in a relationship but she’s cute.

This evening I’ll see Cin, I think I’ll have a talk with her tonight. About how her addiction and behavior is destroying herself and the people around her.
I should, and I should do it in a way that will help her digest this information and convince her to turn her life around.

Though, I should also have a talk with her BF, see if he’s ok with her drinking, sleeping around, and whatnot,
though idk, on one hand he’s a good dude and deserve the truth, on the other hand, it might ruin his evening or even holiday, and as my mom use to say “don’t get into a mess, and you won’t have to get out of it”, especially since I have unwholesome motivations behind…
I should throw out the part that my unwholesome motivation suggest and just genuinely check with him where he’s at, what he accept and want, how he see things first and foremost.

I have a belief that, each ego, each consciousness on Earth is part of a whole, and that we are all an evolution/reincarnated version of oneself across non-linear time-space, every possibilities of the self.
Which means that in my view, similarly to how I am my younger self and yet am not, similarly am I and “other” people (similarly and simultaneously the other way around).

so, with my belief, which I perfectly know is incomplete or I wouldn’t be on this Earth, it would be stupid to treat anyone badly.
If other people are me with another mind, another body, another ego, another personality, another circumstances, another specialties, and another spread of competency, then it would be stupid, unbecoming and undeserving to treat any living being with anything other than empathy, love, care, and honesty; Or to assume anything other than that people do what they can with what they got.

So yeah, I should really thing through what could be the most useful for their path, wants, and circumstances, rather than what could be more useful for my lower carnal desires.
Spirit over Matter.

As Dale Carnegie said in “How to win friends and influence people”

The effective leader should keep the following guidelines in mind
when it is necessary to change attitudes or behaviour:

  1. Be sincere. Do not promise anything that you cannot deliver. Forget
    about the benefits to yourself and concentrate on the benefits to the
    other person.
  2. Know exactly what it is you want the other person to do.
  3. Be empathetic. Ask yourself what is it the other person really wants.
  4. Consider the benefits that person will receive from doing what you
    suggest.
  5. Match those benefits to the other person’s wants.
  6. When you make your request, put it in a form that will convey to the
    other person the idea that he personally will benefit.

For now, I have been conflicted on 2 regarding their situation, and I haven’t taken the time to really consider 3, 4, and 5 deeply.
Precisely because I didn’t respect point 1 “Forget about the benefits on yourself and focus on the benefits to the other person”.

Edit: in the end, I decided to not go see them tonight.
I’ll let them have a good fun Christmas, and that’ll give me the time needed to really think about it :blush:

Edit 2: He decided to end things last night (well, not quite, telling her he sees her as a friend but they can continue to see each others), well I should still call him to get news, but maybe tomorrow evening, he didn’t sleep last night since he looked after a very depressed and dismayed Cin and gotta work today

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#39

Reading my introduction post again.
me wanting to run Khan
I abandoned rather fast after one cycle, running other subs, cheating both Khan and myself, the ZP, telling me it’s a small break building myself up to be able to handle that sub, but can we really overcome without going through? I doubt it.
I really should integrate it again.
though I could never get over 3 minutes after a whole cycle.
I also got a syncronicity, seeing Trv Khan 🤘 suggested after going back here to this journal.

but I’ll be doing things right that time.
No longer sub hopping, washouts, microloops, and patience.

And also, I will keep my word. And it will be hard, there will be temptations, especially since I like thinking about stacks, but I must see to it, for my honor and for my self.
There is nothing worse than betrayal of the self. I won’t make a liar out of me.
I will do what I said I will.

My schedule for 2026, first half

Though I start this schedule at first, I already done two cycles before, in 2025, improperly:
Khan+Regen,
LBFH+AoH+Regen
So really, it could be called 3rd cycle, but hey this is the first cycle of 2026 and the first that’s organised using the official recommendation regarding rotations and Billions unofficial listening schedule (that seem to be somewhat close in listening times to the official rec)

First cycle: Regen-AoH-LBFH (jan)

  • Mon 5th: LBFH - Regen
  • Wed 7th: AoH - Regen
  • Fri 9th: AoH - LBFH
  • Mon 12th: LBFH - Regen
  • Wed 14th: AoH - Regen
  • Fri 16th: AoH - Regen
  • Mon 19th: AoH - Regen
  • Wed 21th: AoH - Regen

Second cycle: LB-Regen-AoH (jan-feb)

  • Mon 26th: LB - AoH
  • Wed 28th: LB - Regen
  • Fri 30th: AoH - Regen
  • Mon 2nd: LB - AoH
  • Wed 4th: LB - Regen
  • Fri 6th: LB - Regen
  • Mon 9th: LB - Regen
  • Wed 11th: LB - Regen

Third cycle: GLM-LB-Regen (feb-mar, my vacation should start around that time)

  • Mon 16th: Regen - GLM
  • Wed 18th: LB - GLM
  • Fri 20th: LB - Regen
  • Mon 23th: Regen - GLM
  • Wed 25th: LB - GLM
  • Fri 27th: LB - GLM
  • Mon 2th: LB - GLM
  • Wed 4th: LB - GLM

Fourth cycle: Khan-GLM-LB (mar)

  • Mon 9th: Khan - LB
  • Wed 11th: Khan - GLM
  • Fri 13th: GLM - LB
  • Mon 16th: LB - Khan
  • Wed 18th: Khan - GLM
  • Fri 20th: Khan - GLM
  • Mon 23th: Khan - GLM
  • Wed 25th: Khan - GLM

Fifth cycle: L:Raikov-Khan-GLM (mar-apr)

  • Mon 30th: RKV + GLM
  • Wed 1th: RKV + Khan
  • Fri 3th: Khan + GLM
  • Mon 6th: GLM + RKV
  • Wed 8th: RKV + Khan
  • Fri 10th: RKV + Khan
  • Mon 13th: RKV + Khan
  • Wed 15th: RKV + Khan

Sixth cycle: RoD-Khan-Raikov (apr-may)

  • Mon 20th: RoD + RKV
  • Wed 22th: RoD + Khan
  • Fri 24th: Khan + RKV
  • Mon 27th: RKV + RoD
  • Wed 29th: RoD + RKV
  • Fri 1th: RoD + Khan
  • Mon 4th: Khan + RKV
  • Wed 6th: RKV + RoD

Seventh cycle: RoD+Khan+Raikov still, (possibly rising khan to the next stage, if ready, I’d have done a total of 4 cycles of ST1)

Khan will stay, so henceforth I’ll have to be thinking on what two titles I want to listen to alongside instead of three, since the third slot will stay Khan, at least until I get to 15m of each stage up to the 4th without recon. I don’t even know if I’m not gonna keep this three stack for some months, I’ll see how I feel.
But Chosen + Khan, and Asc + Khan feel tempting, especially with the new oncoming updates.

What titles, we’ll see. this is already quite enough planning, especially for me since I have yet to work on following the plans I set forth.
Especially since the later half seems like it’ll be harder/colder, but I hope by then I’ll have done the steps I have to do to better myself enough to take it.

Edit: Probably start to rotate Raikov, RoD and the new Asc, over two slots + khan

The cycle structure follows a rythm, I put it out there to make it easier for me in the future to follow a rotation schedule over three titles using Billion’s listening schedule:
new: new title
rot: the one who will be rotated
carry: the title who carried over from last cyc that stays

  • Mon th: new + rot
  • Wed th: new + carry
  • Fri th: carry + rot
  • Mon th: rot + new
  • Wed th: new + carry
  • Fri th: new + carry
  • Mon th: new + carry
  • Wed th: new + carry

if there’s no title to be rotated out (no rot, “a” being new if there’s a new title)

  • Mon th: a + b
  • Wed th: a + c
  • Fri th: c + b
  • Mon th: b + a
  • Wed th: a + b
  • Fri th: a + c
  • Mon th: c + b
  • Wed th: b + a

The meta-structure (what title in a stack) also follows a structure, as titles stay at least three months for a three titles rotation, though it’s more malleable and could stay longer by repeating a stack the next cycle.
I feel having titles at least three months at a time could be good, so with multistage like khan where I permute the full two titles (four titles total over two slots), it might be good to have a third month that keep the two non-multistager the same.

This would leave a gap every three month at most to go to the next stage. Though as said previously, it’d be good to stay at least three month per stage and until I can listen to 15 minutes without recon.

So like, (for a+b, c+d):
N+0: a+b+khan
N+1: b+c+khan
N+2: c+d+khan
N+3: c+d+khan (possible stage rot)
N+4: d+a+khan
N+5: a+b+khan
N+6: a+b+khan (possible stage rot)

And like, (for a+b, b+c, a+c, a three title permutation over two slots)
N+0: a+b+khan
N+1: b+c+khan
N+2: b+c+khan (possible stage rot)
N+3: b+c+khan (possible stage rot)
N+4: c+a+khan
N+5: c+a+khan (possible stage rot)
N+6: c+a+khan (possible stage rot)
N+7: a+b+khan
N+8: a+b+khan (possible stage rot)
N+9: a+b+khan (possible stage rot)

That way, I can properly complete the multistager, and make sure that I only ever need to run ST4 to get the whole benefits (as I’ll have done the proper work)

1 Like
#40

I personally love this approach. Having one sub that you stick with that gets to know you personally, while the rest act as “support”. Whatever your long-term goal is, I think that should be your main sub that you don’t switch, at least until you think you’ve made significant progress towards that goal. It makes sticking out the recon a lot better if you’re able to look at the copy and literally see your goals embodied in the objectives.

1 Like
#41

Thank you :hearts:

1 Like
#42

Also, totally unrelated, average journal entry

So I came upon that thread that talk about the biofield after discussing with you about biofields and especially that post from saints,

I can attest that I went slightly mad after a chance encounter with archangels, digging a bit, and having a huge spiritual experience that left me very luminous (according to people who know me), very sensitive to energy (biofield) and very energetic, as attested by a reishi practitioner and other spiritual workers (psychopump and the such)

I wasn’t ready.
And though I got lots of results and synchronicities, like taking an hitchhiker who was a spiritual writer that came to my region from another country to die here to realise a prophecy he saw in a dream.
It did leave me mad and in acute spiritual psychosis for nearly a year. (On top of feeling like I had a dagger digging into my brain from my nape the few days or so following the initial big spiritual experience

Like, before that I have been an engineer in STEM with next to no experience with “the occult” or spirituality.
And I have been quite far from being pure or taking care of my body…

I didn’t even know about biophoton or biofields at the time so I had no way of integrating what was happening / what had happened.

The only spiritual things I knew was that there were religions and that I didn’t believe them. (Was an atheist)

Well, to be exact I didn’t go mad directly, it was when I started digging further, against the advice from the archangel I knew, into all that crazy stuff Saint mentions :

Like, yeah that was a big mistake.
I could explain it away like “oh silly me, I couldn’t figure out what exactly happened to me, what was good for me and what wasn’t at the time” but I was directly warned to stop digging into stuff that don’t concern me.
But I did, and went mad, and now that I’m more based on the practical application of old traditions mixed with newer scientific understandings, I’m getting better.
Well, though I am religious now lmaoo

And well, this is in part why I’m attracted to subliminals.

I got a similar sensation and results when running the subliminals as to afterwards (though to a much lesser degree and without the fear of possibly being erased from all planes of existence, including from the memory of everyone I ever met, lol),

And the effects seem to be of a similar nature feeling and effect wise as to what I got from the archangel blessing/spell (casted without words in a language I don’t understand, possibly using biofield information or direct communication with the subconscious?)

Though, here with them I can integrate what kind of technology they are without just brushing it off with “magic”, though I don’t get the exact working mechanics (don’tneed to for it to work), I can figure how it influe on the body and mind globally and make sense of it.

This is also why eventually I would like to run Khan Black and Alchemist, but yeah with what Saint said, I should probably do Emperor Fitness first for training the body as well (or just, find a good qigong trainer and seriously start practicing it as part of my lifestyle, maybe alongside calisthenics and/or yoga)
But yeah, basics first. I won’t do the same mistake again of trying to go too far too fast.

1 Like
#43

That’s quite a journey, I’m glad you’ve found something that works without the worrying about getting erased from existence part. From what I’ve read of the thread, KB is definitely worth the full run at some point. Looks pretty fun too.

1 Like
#44

So, a follow up to that story,
Yesterday I didn’t meet up with Cin and Ju, in the end as it wasn’t clear in my mind how I could concile all parties.

In the end, things resolved really well on their own, as things tend to do.

She had a feeling these last couple weeks that he had been seeing other girls, notably going to at the house of a long time friend of his who took her distances at the beginning of his relationship with Cin because she realised she like Ju.
Last night, after she went back to his place Ju told her that he’d rather be friend with benefits or an open relationship of sorts, well though she was quite a bit dismayed at the news last night, she’s come to be ok with it in the end, she called me this morning,

things went a bit like this (with some bits ommited for length):

Me: Hey, how are you doing?
C: I’m ok, much better, there were misunderstandings last night but it’s fine now.
Me: Good!
C: You know how I told you I felt something was going on
Me: How you felt like he’s seeing other girls?
C: Yeah, so he went to repair stuff at A’s house, she’s a kind of old time friend who has a crush on Ju and took her distances
Me: Oh yeah, you mentioned her before
C: Coming to the place of someone who has a crush on you…
Me: You always had a good intuition.
C: So, in the end he’d much rather we stay friends and we could always spend the night from time to time
Me: mmhmm friends with benefits, like us
C: Or he’d be fine with an open relationship of sorts, where we see other people
Me: Oh, like we could the two of us?
C: Though we’re not in a relationship, being friends and seeing each other from time to time is fine
Me: Of course
C: It won’t change much though, since we where only seeing each others once every two weeks.
Me: Yeah, as long as you’re fine that’s what counts
C: We could even do it together
Me: Of course :wink: so we could see each other this week end?
C: yeah of course that’d be great! We’ll stay in contact before then
Me: No issues ^^ have a god day, kisses
C: I love you
Me: Me too :stuck_out_tongue:

So yeah, it looks like I could even possibly manage a threesome with Cin and Ju if I get along even better with Ju, and if he’s ok with that sort of thing, I think it could be fun for all parties ^^
I should call him.
Otherwise I could also just do it Cin and I, but it feels like it’d be less fun than Ju, Cin and I.
Being poly and bi, I like getting to know metamours :wink:

Also, I have been quite tired these last few days, and haven’t been able to finish painting the christmas gifts even while borrowing from my sleep time, I feel lethargic a bit.
This might be due to both the high processing in the background, the high demands of family meetings, as well as sleep debt.
I’ll have to take care of myself in the next couple days.