Journaling Matt [2023]

Journals - Custom Subliminals
#41

Day 6

I am feeling good today. Thoughts like “I don’t want to live anymore” are a thing of the past.
This is a rest day. Tomorrow I hope my custom will arrive, but I am unsure of it because of all the advancements and additions to the q store lately. Maybe it will take longer this time.
If it doesn’t arrive it will be one loop of Khan Black and one loop of another major title.

Soon I will reveal my new goal :smiley: Or I won’t. Keeping it a secret seems powerful.

Edit: Had some dreams tonight. They were not related to my goal or to khan black. Didn’t write them down and forgot them.

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#42

Day 6 - evening

Have been journaling offline.
I feel good at the moment. This seems to be reflected in other people. They seem nicer.
That’s the good news. I am also boring sometimes and lurking too much on this forum. I am ok with that.

Drinking tea and enjoying the evening.
Hopefully tomorrow my new custom will arrive. I ordered it 6 days ago. Minus the weekend that’s 4 days so far. If it’s in time it should arrive at the fifth day.

PS: Happy 666 visitors for this thread

IMG_0063

PPS:

According to this horoscope I am too focused on my goal and should be less serious. Hmm have to contemplate that. :grinning:

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#43

Day 7
Waking up at 5 am this morning I listened to loop number 7 of Khan Black Stage 1.
The other loop will be in the evening as I haven’t received the custom at this moment.

Had a dream somewhat connected to my goal and it included cameos by childhood friends and enemies.

Yesterday evening I had too much energy and couldn’t sleep until midnight or later. In the past I would have explained it with caffeine intake but now I’m thinking it could be KBC.

#44

Day 7 - evening
I guess my custom won’t arrive today. But that’s ok, so I will listen to it the day after tomorrow or next cycle after the washout.

#45

Day 8
Custom came in at 3:08 am today. It has a typo in my name. I submitted a support ticket.
I guess I won’t get an answer soon from what I read on the forum about support.
So, I will run it with the typo on Saturday.

This is a rest day. About KBC, I can say that I am about three days into nofap. This is going to be the fourth day. Maybe I have imaginary recon from BDLM, but my d**k seems smaller since yesterday. I don’t own BDLM and haven’t used it. It could also be some reaction to nofap. :smiley:

It’s going forward towards my goal. Soon to be revealed to the curious audience :smiley:

Cheers,

Matt

PS: No, my goal isn’t a small d**k.

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#46

Day 8 - night
I relapsed no fap. Don’t feel bad about it. Four days were my streak. I feel hungry now.

Tomorrow will be my last listening day before a washout.

To be continued

#47

Day 9
One loop of Khan Black, one loop of the custom. Nothing to report yet.

#48

:balloon::balloon::balloon:REVEAL PARTY:balloon::balloon::balloon:

That’s my custom:

Slim Days ZP
  1. Emperor Fitness Stage 2 core
  2. Legacy of Spartan core
  3. Extreme exercise motivation
  4. SPS: Fat burn
  5. Serum X
  6. Deep Sleep
  7. Deus
  8. Mosaic
  9. Pragya
  10. Inner Voice

My goal is to lose a lot of weight.
When I began my BMI was 33,9 and today it is 32.9 - some progress within about a week.
My action towards the goal was a shift in diet and some exercise.

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#49

Day 9 - night
I relapsed on porn again.
This time I am not ok with it.

I updated my custom. The new version will include Stronger, Eye of the Storm and Stop Porn and Masturbation. Plus some other modules. I exchanged the Emperor Fitness Stage 2 core for BDLM core. My thinking is that LotS is enough for losing weight.
I also added Health Codex because I missed it the first time.

Tomorrow will be the first day of my washout.

Currently I am not feeling so well. Thoughts about hating my life are back. Not as loud and permanent as in the past, but they are there occasionally.

Could be recon or past orgasmic depression.

The good thing about losing weight as a goal is that I could do it with out subs. The subs are only there for an extra edge.

I am tired and will go to bed soon.

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#50

Slim Day 10
Feeling better.

This is a graph of my weight:
IMG_0084
It’s going down.

Yesterday was a semi cheat day as I ate some pasta. But still my weight today is less.

Edit: I did some muscle training. This time I used less weight on the dumbbells. Last time I had too much and had sore muscles for a week.

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#51

typorama
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#52

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#53

Slim Day 11

Happy, happy, joy, joy. I am currently reading the “The Last Law of Attraction Book You’ll Ever Need to Read”. Just finished another chapter here at work. Let’s do the gratitude exercise.

  1. I am grateful for the money on my bank account.
  2. I am grateful for my job.
  3. I am grateful for my flat.
  4. I am grateful for having found this new goal of losing weight
  5. I am grateful for my amazing family.
  6. I am grateful for having this book
  7. I am grateful for the delicious food I had today
  8. I am grateful for coffee
  9. I am grateful for having lost already a few kg
  10. I am grateful for subliminals
  11. I am grateful for the relaxing day at work today
  12. I am grateful for my health
  13. I am grateful for this refreshing glass of water
  14. I am grateful for the good weather
  15. I am grateful for feeling better in the last few days
  16. I am grateful for my programming skill
  17. I am grateful for being able to write and read
  18. I am grateful for being able to understand the English language
  19. I am grateful for having exercised yesterday
  20. I am grateful for being happy right now
  21. I am grateful for this computer
  22. I am grateful for the Internet
  23. I am grateful for this list

Ok this was fun.

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#54

typorama
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#55

Slim Day 12
This morning I was exhausted. I still have sore muscles in my legs from dumbbell training on Sunday.

This is washout day 3/5. Yesterday I wanted to play a sub just out of boredom. But I resisted.
Two days to go.

Now I will go through my gratitude list from yesterday.

Work will be less intense today. I am here for one hour and have worked only 30 minutes.
This is good to relax.

My weight is stagnating for two days. And I wanted to eat something sweet yesterday. Resisted that, too. I am on the scale every day because my statistics app wants that, :smiley: Normally I would just weigh myself once a week. This is a bit frustrating because of the shifting weight.
I hope it will be better on Thursday because that’s my official weighting day and I will post my current BMI then.

Goals… I have a new goal I was fantasizing about when reading the LOA book. I am thinking of creating my own radio show. This will be some work, and I am uncertain if I want to do it. I have the connections to do it, but there is only so much time in a week. I have a few rough concepts for the show. But I am still undecided.

About writing. Currently, my goal is to finish the publication of my short stories. I don’t really want to write new ones or even a book at the moment. I have other goals.

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#56

Slim Day 12 - evening

I am washing out at the laundromat.
Fun times. Two days left for next loop of custom and Khan Black Stage 1.

Still a bit rusty from sore leg muscles.

Cheers,

Matt

#57

typorama
typorama2048×2048 283 KB

IMG_0095

PS: it’s 5 past midnight here but I couldn’t wait for this fun update.

#58

Slim day 13
Today, my BMI is 32.8, a little bit better than 13 days ago (33.9). Progress!
Work is more relaxed than yesterday, but I hate writing that because yesterday after writing it I suddenly had more to do. :smiley: But it was not stressful, I was in the flow and time flew by.
Tomorrow will be the last washout day, and Friday I can begin a new cycle.
Happy, happy, joy, joy!

Cheers,

Matt

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#59

typorama
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Me at the laundromat.

#60

Slim Day 14
My BMI is back at 33. Damn. But that’s the thing about weighting oneself daily, it’s shifty.

Work is going slow today again.

I am thinking about adding True Sell to my stack. Just for the social abilities. On the other hand, I could listen to my Primal Seduction Terminus custom in this cycle. Have to think about it.
True Sell would be a lighter sub in my opinion. So, we will see.
I will begin the day tomorrow with a loop of Khan Black Stage 1 and see where I take it from there.