Journal: SFI – by Akin

Journals - Major Programs
#126

. DR:LD - 20s .

Heavy recon during the day, but nice feelings at night along with many insights that are really helpful for my growth.

Also, two nice manifestations of things I wanted.

The best feeling I’m getting with DR:LD is the same one I used to have as a child — when I had dreams and passions and truly believed they were possible.

Anyway, this sub is no joke. It feels like an avalanche of limitations rising up to be cracked down across many areas of life, with very fast thoughts and insights. The subconscious is working hard.

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#127

. rest day .

Another manifestation this morning of progress in an area I’ve been focusing on .

Also, I’m also reconnecting with studies on quantum mechanics.

EDIT: I didn’t expect it, but DR is helping me work through financial blockages I hadn’t noticed before

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#128

. DR:LD – 20s .
. rest day .

I’ve completed 7 days of SB washout and 9 days of EoG.

It’s been a very interesting journey with DR. At the same time, I’ve been reevaluating many things and asking myself what my real priority is.

I came across a study about Maslow’s pyramid, which says that most middle-class people get stuck in issues of relationships and sexuality.

I think that’s why I was intuitively considering buying Wanted — to live new experiences and reprogram beliefs about how I see myself in this area.

Those who resolve sexuality automatically step into the level of Power.

So, I’m thinking about go ahead and test my thesis about the correlation between sexuality and money.

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#129

. rest day .

Yesterday, I experienced a major emotional release in therapy—the release of a deep pain related to an experience that likely happened in another lifetime. After that, I am feeling more clearly that I am free to move forward in peace. It feels like the pain I’ve carried for years has finally come to an end, and now it’s time to move forward with joy and lightness, creating my own life.

Today, I woke up with the feeling that I truly am a being of abundant nature, and this is a certainty I have carried since childhood, which had been “stuck” for countless reasons. But now, I am reclaiming it and returning to embrace this nature of mine and all the life experiences it can bring.

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#130

. DR - 25s + EoG - 10s + Wanted - 10s .
. 3 rest days .

I’ve been thinking about changing the way I write and perceive situations. In the sense that: if I already were or were already living where I want to be, how would I think about a situation? Would I be complaining about certain things? I don’t think so.

So, even though I’m still accessing some limitations and inner layers, I’ll try to write about what I notice as good, and about the changes that are happening.

Okay.

I did this loop of these three completely on impulse.
I’m still processing it — it felt like too much information, almost “clogged” (assimilation was slower).

Things I noticed:

  • More philosophical thoughts right after the first loop of Wanted, and a feeling of wanting to take better care of myself — realizing that it’s also connected to how I see my own worth.
  • I received many looks, and some people’s romantic interest became clearer — including from those I wasn’t expecting. My attitude felt more selective too.
  • At a party, I suddenly started talking to a foreign woman, and before I knew it, we were sharing that kind of mutual gaze.
  • For the first time since my mother’s death, I was able to think of her as someone who can still offer me love — and I could actually feel the love she gave me while she was alive. This is completely new. I couldn’t think of her with any positive feeling in the past.
  • I’ve been reflecting on what would truly bring me pleasure at work, instead of thinking that I have to “perform” a certain kind of happiness.
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#131

. DR:LD - 20s + Wanted 15s .

So… I’ve been having very deep, philosophical thoughts about money these past few days.
Thinking about what I would do if I had the amount of money I wish for — and where I’d choose to put my energy.
Also reflecting on what I’d love to do if it were all about pleasure and contribution.

There’s also been some inner work regarding self-esteem, BUT I got a nice haircut and I’m thinking about reshaping my dressing style.

Oh, and a dancer from France who came here to teach a workshop and perform really liked me and my dancing — she even started following me so we can keep in touch.
So nice!

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#132

. Wanted 15s + EoG 15s .

Wanted has been giving me a huge lesson on self-esteem — on a very deep level.
It’s making me stop and think about my life, my finances, and the very deep ways I look at myself.
I’m starting to perceive what self-care really means — the kind that makes other people feel drawn to me — and looking within for real reasons to be that desired person.
Not as a projected illusion, but truly embodying it.

Anyway…

External manifestations:

  • A girl went to watch a play sitting next to me and was basically climbing on top of me. (I swear)
  • The girl I’m interested in gave me a super open and warm hug that same day.
  • A little kid I met at a waterfall kept swimming after me, following me around and doing everything to get my attention.
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#133

. EoG - 20s .

So, I’d really love to be the kind of person who can listen to more than one subliminal at the same time and process them well — or run a stack of three and flow easily between them — but I’m not.
My mind honestly needs a more “horse-like” direction (by that I mean fewer stimuli and more focus on one core issue at a time).

I’ve had some interesting experiences with Wanted, and I actually like the inner state it puts me in — but after these three loops, I realized it still might not be the top priority right now — simply because I need to channel my energy more clearly to fully integrate Dragon Reborn and Ecstasy of Gold.

I’m back to this point:

and this point:

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#134

That’s it. I’m really committed to DR:LD (by guidance) and to wealth-related titles (by discipline).
I’ll keep an eye on when it might be a good time to add a few occasional loops to sparkle romance.

Today also marks 15 days of washout from ASBR, and I’m observing how I feel without it.
I have to admit, I miss the effects and sensations of those loops. But that’s okay, just observing.

This week will be about fewer simultaneous stimuli and more observation.

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#135

. 2 rest days .

I’ve been prioritizing some videos on how to update my LinkedIn profile to be more easily found.
I’m also going to update my résumé.

I managed to talk with my older sister about some of the challenges I’ve been facing, and she was really supportive — it made me feel more motivated to research the market and start taking new professional steps.

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#136

new cycle coming!

possible priorities for the next stack: DR:LD, RICH, or Ecstasy of Gold .

The journey with DR:LD has been intense — it’s the first time I’ve experienced physical recon (like stomach pain, diarrhea, etc.).
I wish I had good news to share, but the truth is, I’m currently going through several deep internal restructurings.

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#137

. washout .

I have to admit, I’m a bit frustrated with this next stack.
I’d really love to be focusing on romance and things like that…
But this was the guidance from my Higher Self for the moment.

There’s a lot of frustration about not having my finances sorted out — like I can’t fully move into relationships until that part is stable.

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#138

That’s just a story you’re telling yourself for some reason.
I got engaged in the financially most insecure period and scarce period of my life.
Didn’t make things easier, but finding true love doesn’t care about your time table.
Funny thing though, two weeks before @CurlyGirl and I got together I decided it’s time to care for myself and my finances before I look for a relationship.
That’s why I say, finding love doesn’t care about your plans.

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#139

It was nice to hear about your story, about you two.
It honestly feels really good to know more about you guys.
It makes sense — I must be telling myself that for a reason…
But the truth is, I feel really excited about the possibility of finding new love. s2

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#140

Take a look at the new Dragon Reborn: Regeneration. You may find some value in it:

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#141

. washout .

Feeling the blooming effects quite naturally today — it’s the 5th day of my washout.

I found an interesting meditation on YouTube that’s been really helping me anchor my new, lighter self — freer from some old limitations. I’m feeling really good doing it.

Also, I genuinely feel like I’ve turned the page regarding my ex, and now I’m even more open to other connections, including friendships. That’s been really important for me.

Some interesting synchronicities happened today too. Good encounters with people who remind me of certain paths.
It also felt good to notice this growing sense of confidence even outside the active listening cycle.

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#142

(( new cycle ))
(( sed - 15s ))

I start a new cycle today. I was more honest with myself and realized I want to give Seductress another chance :blush:

official stack: DR:LD, Seductress, and EoG.

I found it curious, but right away, I felt a strong urge to organize my computer files.
I’m doing that now and feeling excited about it.

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#143

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#144

(( rest day ))

I found it interesting — I think that with the previous work from Limit Destroyer, I was finally able to open up and access deeper layers of Seductress, like the parts related to self-worth, finances, and so on.

Back in May, when I listened to it more actively, I couldn’t really reach those aspects of the script — only the seductive layer. I’m happy about that change.

Also, I’m feeling once again that same connection I had during my first experiences with it. To me, this sub brings a very deep alignment with my inner self — my truth — my intuitive side — and invites me to be more honest with it, and with the feminine truths I carry within.

I haven’t been in many social settings yet to notice how it plays out externally, but this time, it’s bringing me a new sense of inner focus and self-care.
It feels like I was genuinely missing this feminine aspect of myself — and Seductress is helping me reconnect with it.

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#145

(( sed - 15s ))

I went to a really fun Halloween party hosted by a friend yesterday. I felt genuinely good and was warmly welcomed by everyone there.

Besides that, I had a romantic experience with a guy I already knew, and it really helped me reframe some past experiences. Our connection was deeper — he was very kind and kept complimenting me the whole time, truly treating me like a queen.

It was both nice and interesting — I effortlessly received the affection and attention I’d been wanting to receive from others, romantically, for weeks. :dizzy:

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