Journal: SFI – by Akin

[Akin]

new cycle !

. ASBR - 30s .
. rest day .

I had this curious dream last night where I was talking to someone and saying that when Rich Trader gets updated, I’d swap RoW for it because it feels easier and lighter to digest. lol.

Anyway, I don’t really know what’s going on with me, or if it’s also the influence of the eclipse, but I’ve been REALLY tired these past few days. I can’t seem to digest anything well (informations) and I’m feeling the effects of the loops very strongly, even with just micro ones. It’s rough, because I can’t think clearly about what needs to be done or direct the energy I’d like toward certain actions.

[Akin]

. RoW - 15s .

This cycle I’ll give more priority to RoW because I want to test some investment strategies and keep my focus well directed. I also won’t be listening to both on the same day. I thought it worked for me, but my mind ended up needing more rest, and the exposure got much more spaced out in the previous cycle.

[Akin]

I had this dream where I consciously traveled back in time to talk to my mother, and she was angry, questioning some of my attitudes toward my father.

[Akin]

. rest day .

My unconscious worked a lot last night — I had intense dreams. The main themes were fights, competition and comparison.

But beyond that, I’m enjoying this feeling in my mind that I’m going to get rich, no matter what happens.

[Akin]

. ASBR - 25s .
. rest day .

For the first time, I found myself questioning whether it’s really worth continuing to listen to subliminals.

I notice how hard it is to sustain the effects when I’m not listening, and I also see deep inner issues and patterns that I just can’t seem to change.

I see people around me getting more results than I do, achieving dreams and goals without subliminals, and I wonder if all the effort to process this—especially since it’s not even in my native language—is really worth it. And what kind of deep, real change I could actually create for myself.

“Is such a thing as fate?”
That’s one of the first lines in ASBR’s copy. And honestly, it’s been sticking with me. What if fate really exists? What if there’s a divine timing and way for things to unfold that no subliminal can “change”? The deeper lessons that, one way or another, every soul has to go through?

I don’t know.
The hardest part is watching people close to me achieving amazing things without any of this.

[Akin]

. ASBR - 10s .

I somehow feel this has to do with something RoW was trying to reveal to me.

I haven’t had the courage to listen to it again yet.

Anyway, I did a microloop of SB that was really good and “brought me back” to the perspective that subs are about gradual work.

I’m also rebuilding trust with my ex on the basis of SB, and it’s been interesting to observe that.

Every time I see her while I’m under the effects of the loop, she shows interest in me and we share really nice romantic moments. Yesterday, we had a memorable kiss.

[Judoka]

For me the biggest turn off is reconcilliation

Trying to find a sweet spot just to get results is quite hard for some of us,especially when your judging between 5 seconds here and there then seeing how you respond in the rest day

[Akin]

Makes sense. It’s important to be in tune with yourself in this process

[Akin]

. ASBR - 30s .
. rest day .

I did some deep shadow work in a ThetaHealing session, and the following ASBR loop was something I’d never accessed before. For the first time, I felt that I had the space and availability within me to truly open up to what the sub is really about. It was a different sensation that I hadn’t felt with it before. I don’t know how to put it into words, but it seems like my unconscious understood it better.

Anyway, I had some really nice experiences with it:

• I introduced myself to an actress in the city I’d been wanting to meet for days, and she was super friendly. We talked and established a genuine channel of exchange.
• My ex said she doesn’t want to be together as a couple again, that she likes how things are now but can’t imagine us getting back together. This helped me further loosen the bond with her and open space for other people.
• I had two different experiences in social circles where I only knew one or two people, but I was able to engage with most of them and feel appreciated. It was very interesting, as some really sought my attention.

[Akin]

Also, through meditation and connecting with my Higher Self, I realized that it would be better and more useful for me at this moment to switch from RoW to EoG ST1

[Akin]

I also read the sales page for Wanted and WOW, what a desire it sparked. Total stack killer. I’m still figuring out what I’ll do with it, but I can already imagine at least two women I’d go after.

[Akin]

. ASBR - 35s .
. rest day .

After the last inner work I did, I feel much more open to perceiving and anchoring the subs on a deeper level.

There’s a film festival happening in the city, and I’m really happy with some things that have been unfolding there:

• Basically, interesting connections. I found myself in circles with people who took part in some of the films made here, and I interacted with them naturally.
• I have a friend who’s pretty “political” in the city, and yesterday I tagged along with him, observing how he networks.
• People just wanting to talk to me, naturally sharing and explaining important things.
• Some nice flirty vibes here and there.

[Akin]

. EoG - 20s .
. rest day .

On the first day, I felt many bodily sensations, and I was also involved in some social contexts. EoG made me quite introspective. But yesterday, I went to a workshop on arrangement and composition. It was really fun — collectively, we created a melody and experimented with some arrangements. I had never done anything like that before, and it made me want to dive even deeper into the world of music. There was also a show that day.

One of my great passions was there — she has such a powerful presence and made a special appearance, singing. In the past, we were involved, but she pulled away (for reasons I don’t fully understand), and for a long time she would often avoid me. But last night, after singing, she called me to dance with her in front of everyone. We danced, shared a deeply engaging vibe, and kissed. It felt like one of those dreamlike moments.

It was really beautiful. Even though she was also involved with other people that same night (we’re navigating non-monogamy territory here), I wasn’t too shaken. My mindset is to nurture what was good, while also learning from the experience — and recognizing that I can embrace the same if I want.

[Akin]

I’m amazed at how I’m transforming into a completely new version of myself with ASBR — one I haven’t even met yet. People around me are noticing the difference, especially those I haven’t seen in a while. I have this nice feeling that there’s still so much of myself to discover, and I’m really enjoying that. I’ve also noticed that in this cycle I’ve been the most consistent in following the guidelines and taking rest days properly.

[Akin]

I’m seriously considering buying Wanted and using it in this stack in the next few weeks.

My desire, sexuality, and finances are completely interconnected, and I really want to feel that sense of being wanted and see what I can unlock by living sexual experiences with people who truly spark my desire.

[Akin]

. ASBR - 50s .
. rest day .

Dealing with some deep nostalgic moments today. I guess it comes from EoG and the dreamlike experience I had this past weekend.

[Akin]

. EoG - 25s .

Challenges. EoG is bringing up a lot of traumas and discomforts. It’s been tough. I’ve tried EoG in the past and gave up, but I’ll keep going, motivated by discipline. I haven’t had my own income for years, living with my father and a small savings I made in the past so I need to change and put some movement into this area of my life. There’s nowhere to run.

[Akin]

. rest day .

Thinking about doing a ASBR washout. Yesterday, during deep meditation, I realized I’m working through issues involving a profound sense of my soul’s freedom—or its limits. I gained clarity that my focus cannot be scattered toward external people right now; whatever comes is a bonus, but I won’t actively pursue it.

I asked my Higher Self which sub would best support me in navigating these deep patterns—patterns tied to my soul and family-related blocks holding me back—and the answer was clear: A big red dragon.

By instinct, Dragon Reborn: Limit Destroyer came to mind. I will follow this guidance with love and compassion for my current state. Even though I feel a strong desire to connect with many people and explore my desires, there are much greater priorities right now, and indulging that desire would only lead to distraction right now.

Life as it is…

Anyway, DR:LD is on the way.

EDIT: I’m not letting go ASBR , It’s my long-term sub, but I’m still figuring out how the dynamics will work with 3 subs, if I can handle or not.

[Akin]

Love this community so much, and the work of Fire and Saint. Forever grateful.

[Akin]

New cycle!

. DR:LD - 15s .
. 2 rest days .

First loop of DR:LD. I had a big fight with my father and also went through a strong ‘therapy session’ processing my mother’s death. The fight was really heavy, and I’m still processing it. Thankfully, there was a music festival this weekend where I could release a lot of energy and receive some really good stimuli from other people and dear friends.

I also listened to a microloop of asbr to give me grounding and protection. The main focus now is to find a job asap so I don’t have to live in this coexistence with him anymore. Very painful relationship.

The positive side I noticed with Dragon Reborn is that when I listen to it, I feel like I don’t need to ‘perform’ any archetype. It feels like it works in me, with me, and totally aligned with who I am. Different from ASBR, which I feel directs me more towards an archetypal behavior.

Another very good thing I felt in the first loop (although short, since the fight happened right after) was reconnecting with the feeling that ‘I can achieve whatever I want’. In an integral way. I reconnected with my ability to achieve things by myself. It’s the same feeling I had when I got accepted into 3 public universities and also passed a public service exam here in my country. It had been 7/8 years since I last felt that. So, I already consider this a victory.

That’s it. The days aren’t easy, but I keep going…