Journal: SFI – by Akin

Journals - Major Programs
#86

. rest day .

I’m not going into the fame scripting, but I’m loving SB.

The resilience part is on, and I can see myself moving toward something extraordinary even with adversity — even with events that seem to be “taking me off” my path.

I see this calm presence within myself that says: “Keep going. Keep with the sub. Keep trusting the best it’s unfolding. Take another step.”

I’m eager to see what this can manifest in the long run.

That’s it. Resilience is on around here, and I’m noticing the difference it’s making in my life.

#87

. ASBR - 26s .
. rest day .

I’m feeling pretty impatient today and a bit fed up with masculine figures who come in trying to assert authority in some way. Last night I had an experience like that with a police officer, and today here. I think my subconscious is working through something related to that. Anyway, I’m observing myself.

Yesterday I had a lot of revelations while observing the collective — like noticing what it takes for a group to function well. I went to a music arrangers’ graduation, it was really beautiful, but I was in this transcendent state watching them. Finding it beautiful and getting a bunch of insights. I hope my mind doesn’t just file these insights away ; I want to be able to translate them practically into my life, even if only for the future.

Yesterday my assimilation of the script was different, because I started to see the script as me, not as something external making me act. I mean, to ask myself what it would be like if I were already who the script invites me to be.

Like, “Can I really become this person?” Could that be me and not just an impulse coming from outside, triggered by a sub? I don’t know if that makes sense, but that’s what I’m experiencing.