Having spent the last few days planning my subliminal journey this fall and going forward. Have experimented a lot during the summer with different stacks and have now come to the conclution.
Will start a new journal here when all is in place going forward 
Was just watching some old comedy movie with my neighbor (I never watch tv, but today I did), and I had all these thoughts of how crazy everthing seems to be, just never ending deja vuās masquerading as some kind of truth on this big stage of life.
And the funny thing is that with each epiphany I had, the movie I was watching was matching all these in itās own way like it had been scripted into my life at this very moment. Everything and life just seemed at that moment like a comedy.
I went home and just typed whatever came up in my journal, donāt even remember what I wrote, but here it is unedited ā
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What you focus on gets enlarged. Everything came out of nothingness, and that nothingness is what you are, not the everything you think you see everyday. Be what you want out there and it will meet you there, but never forget who you are, that nothingness that everything came out of, that void that everything originated from.
Trying to explain this with words is almost comical in itself.
If I see things in the media or things that is going on, itās all just noise. Withdraw attention from it and be okay with what just is. Nothing is real, yet everything is real, fears are just illusions and a way of life to be accepted never to bother you again.
Courage is not opposing fear or denying it, but accepting it and walk straight ahead.
I recently started to get my life together and all of a sudden I pulled my neighbor up from his abyss that he had created. A coincidence? No not all all. We are all the same and that manifested through my energy.
Maybe the whole corona thing is just a manifestation of all the turbulence I was going through, itās not happening to me, I donāt exist but yet I do, (I) co created it with everyone else because we are all one.
Thatās why when you take a leap of faith things open up, things you would never have believed would happen happens. Itās bound to happen, and all the resistance to it was just that, a focus on that it would be hard, and voila, here you go!
When I was not into spirituality it all seemed like some wowo, but when I found myself there, people into those things manifested and a whole new world opened up. Same with pickup, when I stopped there and went with spirituality instead, people coming from PUA and who became more spiritual emerged all of a sudden, never noticed them before, it was outside my conscious awareness.
If it exists the opoosite exists as well, overlooking this is why we keep getting surprised everytime we see something we cannot explain.
Thatās why love is supreme and the only thing that matters, itās the glue that holds everything together coming from that emptiness. It has no opposites, it just IS. No one ever dies only the shadows of what seems to be real die, nothing is ever created nor destroyed. The only happiness is love, if you lack love, forgive yourself for believing in illusion.
Everything seems strange and random when seen through the eyes of this person I call myself. But withdraw attention from it and nothing is there, just emptiness. Itās beautiful, it needs nothing and is always there forever present.
Life is just a canvas with different colors sprinkled on to it, itās amazingly beautiful and awe inspiring and is there to be looked at. Observe it with immense gratitude. Whatever happens, there is always a voice, a person, a hunch, a coincident, or just a silence calling you back into your true nature.
Everything gets recorded but it means nothing, you have to place it under your meaning and it becomes larger. Go ahead and place your own meaning and donāt be afraid of just closing your eyes and disappear into nothingness again.
=END=BUT=NO=BEGINNING
Also had this vision of a spheare, like a visual representation of life shrinking and shrinking into itself until it finally being sucked into a vacuum, and disappearing into nothingnessā¦
My friend just pointed out to me what I actuallly have been aware of as well lately. Iām going through some major dark nights of the soul atm. Been off subs for 6 days now and still having intense, intense dreams, tight jaws and a foggy headā¦
But also itās kinda cute as well. Iām not afraid like I used to be of all the confusion and dreams, but itās very interesting to just observe. Thereās so many things unfolding in my life right now so thereās plenty to trigger my insecurities.
Was walking outside today and just seeing people woosh by left and right, everyone with their own programs installed, some run F-secure, others have McAfee, and some might be using Nortonā¦ Vacations are over and at least here people plug back into the digital age, and unplug nature which has given them so much ease and rest.
Iāve been thinking now that I jetty away from most things that I would say was my old life, that I make a list of all the people that I feel I have been hiding from or withheld something from, and just let it off my chest.
Not talking about the high school bully, but rather all the pepole I have some form of relationship with today, like family, friends etc. People around me reflects my inner world and is what this(these) personalities of mine has to relate to and makes this experience Iām/we are having.
Iām pretty sure that in the beginning it will feel difficult, but after the ball starts rolling I will think to myself why I did not do this earlier. One can only lie to oneself, and I also have a hunch that Iām not actually seeking others approval and foregiveness, but ony my own.
Is there anything we can do to help?
This very well could be a good indication.
Thanks for asking. Iām good though, itās just a lot fear coming up when getting closer to being homeless for a while and not knowing where to live. One could turn it around instead and see how massively this situation will give me life energy from all the newness that is coming my way.
Becoming OG in that apartment, I now have a harem of little dreams 
Took some time to make a prototype of an updated version of the Sacred Heart Custom.
Heartsong
Love Bomb
Gratitude Embodiment
Depths of Love
Chosen of Venus
Blue Skies
Love Without Attachment
Transcendental Connection
Emotions Unfettered
Divine Self-Image
Joie De Vivre
The Wonder
The Flow
Elegance
Sanguine
Harmonic Singularity
Cardiovascular System
Intuition Enhancer
The Architect
Deus
I kept the upper part of the subliminal minus Inner Circle which I plan to run solo from the main store. How I have missed Harmonic Singularity is a mystery, because that is a cornerstone to me as a man to be relaxed no matter what.
Also threw in Cardivascular system for synergy with heart meditations, and also The Architect for generating more energy
On another note I have been having less recon today which marks the 7th day of my washout period. This was a though week when it comes to recon, and I do believe that SG was played a bit too much, but hey new stuff 
Also been having a lot of energy today. Not feeling safe and having a lot of uncertainty of the future generates a lot of potent energy in the mind and body. It makes you ripe and your thoughts sharp for sure.
Itās funny how one side of the mind goes, How hard can it be, yourāre living in a first world country! While the other side goes, dafuq are you doing? You had all the comforts youāll ever need, and now you are sitting here typing words on your computer and using the windowsill as a tableā¦
Also, updated the draft of my coming main custom that I plan to play this autumn and winter.
| Khan St4 | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Daredevil | ||||||
| Primal | ||||||
| Inner Gasoline | ||||||
| Seducerās Gaze | ||||||
| Emperorās Voice | ||||||
| Enchanting Smile | ||||||
| Alpha of Alpha | ||||||
| Leader of Men | ||||||
| Invincible Presence | ||||||
| Total Noncahlance | ||||||
| Rogue | ||||||
| Lion IV | ||||||
| Carpe Diem Ascended | ||||||
| Courage Reclaimed | ||||||
| Wayfinder | ||||||
| Furious Ascent | ||||||
| Natural Winner | ||||||
| Dominion | ||||||
| Jupiter |
Just saw the angel number 555 - Personal growth or even physical change await you.
I donāt doubt it one bit!
Fantastic post. Many things stood out ans your whole message about responsibility is what I teach men for years now.
I do think, the boy becomes a man as soon s he takes 100% for everything in his life.
Yes, everything.
Might not be his fault, but nobody is going to wake up and ponder how he can fix your life. You gotta do it yourself.
And well, I genuinely dislike this victim society of blaming others.
However, the absolute key:
My son is now a year old.
The things I learned from that little rackerā¦
Itās that pure zest for life. Enjoying existence. Enjoying people without judgment.
Itās crazy.
If you look at people from the 90s,they had a vibe to them. Joy. Energy.
Now if you look at people on the street, looking on the floor or their phone, earphones in, escaping reality, never smiling, you see the works of evil forces.
Conspiracy or not, most people have a completely wrong approach to life, but they donāt know better.
Share your wisdom and try to help as many as possible to escape this madness 
Great post, friend. And lovely journal 
Thank you my friend for the kind words 
This is certainly something that becomes less and less today. Makes me think of old tribal cultures where they took boys and put them through a period of harsh treatment as a way to into manhood.
Yes, and somehow we bargain and lose it somewhere on the way to adulthood. I often watch parents play with their small children, itās fascinating the energy they receive from them, and then they snap out of it and go back in to old habits of supressing that energy back down again.
The 90ās was the shit for sure 
Iāve noticed that people wait for me to act now a days, and the only reason why I notice this is because I used to wait for others. If I donāt care or notice it no one elso does, I put that judgment on myself which the world reflected back at me.
Sage Immortal brought me back to look at an old picture I took of 2 notes I took from reading a book. The last one is interesting when mentioning the innocence of the child
The oldest memory I have from my childhood is a traumatic experience at the age of around 3 years old. It triggered a strong emotion which makes me being able to recall it, it was a strong resistance.
And when one enters a flow time just flies past and often you have very little recollection of what actually happened, and a small child just flows with the moment.
I find this very interesting. I have not looked at things like that before and I am not really understanding. Why you cannot experience anything unless you resist it?
Could you elaborate on it?
Rite of passage.
Too bad this died out.
For the longest time I thought āIām the man. I need to work. I donāt have time to play with him. He is better served with more money.ā
Probably the biggest lie I told myself.
I think they look good.
I would wonder if using Khan St4, Rogue, and Total Nonchalance might be overdoing something. I donāt know what that something might be, but if you read the descriptions perhaps something will come to mind and you can think about it for yourself.
I get what youāre saying. The way I see it and think I have understood it is that if we like some quality to be enhanced, add that module. If you read the descriptions of those two, they are a tiny bit different, but for sure in the same direction. I guess that message can be not caring for others opinions, and also freedom of expression and flow?
Thereās a few modules that Iām trying out thatās new to me, so my focus is on general directions of traits. So if I feel one or two are redundant, that spot is up for a switcharoo later on.
Thanks for the input RV
Yup!
Aināt it funny sometimes how we project our own insecurities, and we are not even aware of it most of the time. Great insight though 
A tough one for sure. The problem I feel is that we try to understand it intellectually. And I must say that my understanding of it varies depending on my current consciousness level.
I once had a small Satori moment that lasted for around 5 hours, I entered a total space of peace that was soo blissful that everything stopped, my whole being was at peace. For 3 hours I have almost no recollection of what I was doing, the flow was that great. If I would have read this there and then, I would not have gone, hm yeah that makes senseā¦ there would just been a knowingness, past all thoughts or emotions. So a knowingness, not an intellectual understanding.
But in a way just existing in a body in this world is a form of resistance. Gravity keeps you down to this earth and you have to fight it daily. You get hungry, you have to eat, or thirsty, you have to drink. Push in one direction and something pushes back just as much.
Sometimes I feel the more you get involved in the worldy affairs, the more chaotic it becomes, and the more strain it puts on you. So just withdrawing attention from the world and inward is lessining the tension in a way.
Deep meditative states just IS, (you) are, thereās no thoughts about it, no time, just a knowingness. The I dissapears as a person into an empty space.
But anyways, this are just my thoughts written out. Iām far from a place where I understand this, just interesting to come back to it, itās like reading a book you havenāt read for a long time, you see new things and understand things differently.
Ok you had me there, looked over it. Iām dropping Total Nonchalance and adding Harmonic Singularity instead. Thanks once again RV
Sure, man. Yeh, I thought youād get it. If you want the quality or benefit, select the module, but my concern was there would be so much over lap it might make your personalityā¦ a bit extreme, and not in a good way.
Khan + Rogue + the potential chillness of Harmonic Signularity I think would be better.
Personally, Iām biased about Rogue. But thatās my preference. It might do you good.