Dropping Khan bro. It’s actually been nothing but trouble. I’m going back on the programs that work and make me feel good. I just had one of the worst nights of my life, worst nights since I started Subliminal club. I’m raw, I’m emotional, I’m shocked by my behavior.
It’s just not for me. The program is just trouble for me. I’m walking a different path.
Now it’s time to rebuild and turn all this stuff around, and I’m not gonna do it with Khan.
Update.
The Khan is dead. I have theories as to why this has been bad and I haven’t listened to myself.
" Again, be warned – Khan is not an easy subliminal to run, especially Khan Complete. You will become intimately aware of your innermost sides, good and bad, and you will likely become a polarizing individual – some will love you, some will hate you, but all will respect you. Your relationships will be changed for the better, but there will be tumultuation."
My experience and the sales page have led me to believe that difficulty is the point of the program. Which is fine, but that isn’t my path.
Khan has been hell since day one, and I really struggle to see many positives. In general, it seems like my life is getting worse. There have certainly been many less-than-desirable outcomes.
I’ll be returning to Emperor.
Is this from stage 1 or have you run the other stages as well?
Damn, healing subs or stages can be rough as I thought and as SC warned. I really want to go on that journey someday though. Perhaps during vacation.
Stage 1 and Stage 2. From what I’ve experienced so far, I would say that Khan is for very advanced users, who have the freedom and stability to endure some pretty dramatic and possibly frightening challenges. Waiting for vacation would be a good idea. I wouldn’t stack at all. Ideally, you want to have a very stable life that can endure a lot of turmoil. You need to have your daily routines on point. You need to have money in the bank. You need to either be single or be in a really strong and trusting relationship. It’s very serious stuff and I have no idea how deep the hole goes before you finally crawl back out. For me, this seemed to be a journey to rock-bottom and then rebuilding. I’m just not at a place in my life for that stuff. It’s too risky and too much damage has been done 
This is Khan dealing with all the shit you have buried inside.
It’s working amazingly well on you, but it hurts. I’ve been there and given up too.
Now I’m going back to Khan because I still haven’t dealt with all this shit either.
If you stick with Khan, one year from now you’ll be absolutely different person than you are today.
Value is linked to difficulty, the more difficult the path is right now, the more “valuable”/badass your life will be in the future 
Just ran a loop of Emperor to prevent myself from going back to Khan. Khan will need to wait, I’ve got a life to fix.
Are you still planning on running Wanted?
I’m not sure yet…I’m going to start with Emperor and go from there. Might just revise the good old-fashioned Wanted and Emperor stack that worked so well for me. Right now I need to turn some shit around. Might add in something to deal with anxiety and fear like Sanguine, True Social, or Daredevil. Probably Sanguine, it’s the most general and maybe the “easiest” and I’m pretty gun-shy at the moment…
Good news is that I’ve turned shit around before, so once Emperor kicks in, I’ll be able to start repairing this mess.
Did Emperor and Wanted not reduce your anxiety the first time around?
It did actually. If I remember correctly, the anti-anxiety of Emperor was one of the reasons I ran it so long.
Wow yeah. Even during vacation perhaps you don’t want to spend that time with family trying to exorcise a demon 
But perhaps Khan is not truly what I need/want. Perhaps it’s exactly what I need. Nonetheless, I believe, with zero experience in heavy healing subs, that one should use a processing/release technique of some sort while using these subs. I think they bring forth or put a light on your weaknesses and dark aspect, past trauma and limiting beliefs, bring out painful/hurtful memories and so on. That in itself is tough experience, but this time ones goal is to process them in a healthy manner and perhaps one can’t changw, but learn to accept those dimensions of ones being.
But what do I know, I am just speaking of my plan if I ever go through one program, that I will use what has helped me in the past in dealing with light healing and trauma release. Perhaps this titles will bring out stuff that are too rough.
Maybe one should only listen again once they’ve dealt with the stuff that were brought up since the last listen.
So many possibilities and ways, and there is no wrong way of dealing with it the best one sees fit.
I think you’re right about the processing/release thing. Any techniques that you could use would certainly help the process.
I just need to figure out a good time and place. We shall see 
@Risky You’re spot on about the processing and releasing part.
This post by @Skadoosh helped me out a ton when I was restarted my journey with subclub.
Wow great post, thanks for sharing.
can definitely help, like eft tapping and stuff like that
Update–What the Hell Happened?
Khan was just too much (or was it?) and there was something about Khan from day 1 that I just didn’t like, or my subconcious didn’t like. It often felt as if Khan was trying to beat me down in order to grow me. I’m not sure if that’s true but it was how it felt. I spent the entire journey on Khan in a state of constant recon, which makes sense–it was trying to change a lot, and I do mean, a lot. I also resisted making any changes that could have helped my Khan journey, such as running fewer loops, etc.
In general, many things happened on Khan that were contrary to what I thought I wanted. Why is that? Well, in the absence of information, and recognizing that I was not the ideal subliminal listener while running Khan, I might assume that the things that were happening were in line with my deeper, truer, self, and therefore they were frightening to my ego, or my performative self, or the person that I thought I was. I’m really not sure. Yes, I did experience sides of myself, good and bad, and those sides tended to cause trouble in my life.
Who am I? I don’t really know who am I 
but I’m the kind of guy that’s always wanted a lot from life, and I do mean a lot. Nothing satisfies me, I always want more, more, more. I want to be better, better, better. That’s great, but the reality is that I often don’t do nearly enough to create the changes that I want to see in myself. I want to be careful not to discount myself, because I actually do, do a lot for myself and others, but there are foundational aspects of myself that I resist changing and have resisted for a very long time. I also tend to be very, very unfocused. Many of these realizations came about from Khan.
Khan and I were constantly at war with one another, and it was so damn painful. I felt like I was fighting for scraps every day. Is that true? Maybe it is.
After doing some stupid stuff that created some damage in my life, I dropped Khan and ran a loop of Emperor on my final day of washout to lock myself into Emperor and to prevent the temptation to run Khan again.
What was the result of that single loop of Emperor? Well, I was able to turn at least some of the damage around the very next day, experience a shift in the way people behaved toward me, have a little social gathering, and get some work done. My emotional state also did a complete 180 turn and I feel a little embarrassed and a little regretful, but overall, I feel pretty confident that I can turn this situation around and even make it work in my favor. With enough cunning and emotional detachment, any situation can be turned into a positive.
Today I ran Emperor and Dancer. I was really considering adding Wanted in right away, but I think given the situation, I should really hold off on Wanted and stick with Emperor for the time being, at least for a cycle.
Where that leaves this
Khan is just too much for me right now, it’s just too much. It’s too deep, it’s too powerful, it’s too demanding, and it’s too challenging. I cannot rise to the challenge at this point in my life. Khan is meant to completely transform you in all ways. That’s fantastic and naturally, it’s very, very appealing, but I have to be brutally honest with myself (something that Khan taught me) I’m just not that strong, yet. I’m not strong enough for the challenge of Khan…or am I?
Or Am I???
My single loop of Emperor did exactly what I hoped it would do, (because I ran it so long, it seems like my subconscious remembered exactly who Emperor Praise was) it shifted my mindset to that of a winner who enjoyed winning. That’s a very productive mindset for fixing the damage that I’ve created, and even though it’s only been 2 days, it appears to be working well. It also boosted my focus and confidence, two things that are imperative in this situation.
Yes, part of me is still very drawn to Khan because of what it promises to do. But…I just don’t feel like I can or should run it right now. Maybe that’s just okay There are other programs that I have used and that have worked for me and that have created everything that Khan seemed to try to tear down.
My Wings Are Made of Wax
Here’s the final dose of honesty. I flew with wings made of wax. I spent 7 months on Emperor, made a buttload of positive changes, and got cocky and tried to run the most challenging program that subclub has created. I went too soon. If I accept that everything happens for a reason, and that everything is part of my higher self trying to guide me on the path to greatness, then I know exactly why I needed to run Khan because it’s part of my hero’s journey.
What happens to the hero?
He’s a loser (me before subclub)
He meets a master, someone that pulls him into another world (me finding sub club)
He starts to level up
He faces a challenge that he cannot surmount
He trains and learns from his mistake
He returns and conquers the challenge
Happy ending.
Think about Star Wars. Luke didn’t beat Vader the first time they met in combat, nope, he lost an arm and if Vader hadn’t spared his life, he would have died. Then Luke vanished, spent some time in training, and returned a master and beat Vader, this time, Luke spared Vader’s life.
I’m Luke and I just lost to Vader. Vader spared my life, and I’m going to spend some time in training before I return to Khan.
There is no reason to beat my head against this wall anymore. I have much to learn before I face the Khan again.
You’ve mentioned this several times in the past few weeks, are you comfortable going into detail on what wrong, how Khan caused it and how Emperor may be able to fix it?
hahahahah 
but on a serious note I feel you, Khan is probably just very far from your style or you’re not ready to run it at this point in time/your development.
Follow intuition above all, don’t try to force things - that’s the lesson here.
Emperor is pretty badass, can’t go wrong with that
