If It's Possible, I Do It - 1 Year Life Transformation: Khan ZP and Beyond Limitless ZP

WELCOME TO MY NEWEST JOURNAL - THE ULTIMATE TEST OF MY POTENTIAL

Khan Beyond Limitless ?¿?

12 Cycles Total

Entire Khan Program Ran 3 Times

Prelude
The goals of this stack are far more concrete than my last journal which, though not as successful as I’d hoped, was a smashing success when you factor in where I began vs where I am now.

This journal is essentially a continuation of the previous journal but in a new form to reflect the minor but significant changes that have taken place since that journal was started. To put it another way, this can be seen as version 2.0 of the previous journal as…

Now it’s time to become the Khan. So much of my last journal was spent complaining about the walls that I had trouble bursting through, well Khan was built for that. So it’s time to bust through these walls. It’s time to become the Khan.

The Journey
There are 6 things that I will accomplish in the next 12 months, and this journal will be a reflection of that process of growth and change as I transition into the next stage of my life. Stated simply I will:

Maximize my physical attractiveness, maximize my love life, maximize my social life, finish my Master’s degree, and complete a Coding BootCamp, increase financial security.

Physical Attractiveness
Sub 10% body fat, good proportions, height increase, male enhancement. Simple.

Love Life
Have a good time with as many women as possible. Simple.

Social Life
Make as many deep and lasting friends as possible. Socialize, be the life of the party, have some fun. Simple.

Finish my Master’s Degree
Finish my Master’s degree as one of the top students in the program. Simple.

Do a Coding Bootcamp
Do a coding BootCamp and finish as one of the top students in the cohort, while doing my Master’s degree and land a tech job once I finish both. Simple.

Increase financial security
Through any means possible, saving, new job, whatever, increase the amount of money I have on me at any given time and decrease debt. Simple

Final Thoughts
Balance all of this and make this shit happen effortlessly. Simple.

Pulling This Off
This is going to be the single most ambitious thing I’ve ever done in my life. It’s balls to the wall, high stakes, completely manic…But it’s humanly possibly and therefore, it’s what I’m going to do. There actually is no doubt at all that I can do this, fear is turning to excitement. This project will be butting up against the absolute limits of what I believe is possible for me to accomplish within one year. I’ve pulled off similar feats (work wise) but never have I so comprehensively dedicated myself to such an intense path. The stakes are high, sure, but who gives a damn.

Is This Heaven or Hell
It’s heaven! This is what I’ve been working toward all my life, a chance to put my hands in the fire and come out forged. GOD DAMN IT! I feel like I could punch through a cement wall right now.

A Parting Thank You for Those That Have Come Before
Thank you Emperor, Stark, Primal Seduction, Limit Destroyer, Wanted, Angel (custom), and Lovebomb for Humanity for being part of my journey and getting me to this point.

Where I Stand Now
My Bootcamp starts in December which is during Winter Break for my Master’s program. That will give me a few weeks to focus exclusively on my coding program and really get a leg up on the competition before the Spring Semester begins for my Master’s program. I will end up graduating from both programs at around the same time.

Prepwork
I’m in washout from my previous cycle. In the coming days I will come up with a routine to keep my stuff on track. As a rough draft, there are some things that I need to do before December:

Try and learn as much computer science as possible in the next 8 weeks while doing well in school and balancing a social life of some kind.

We begin the first loop of BL on 9/25/2021

The Journal
Come interact, give advice, give guidance, memes, tips, take what you will, give what you will. Ultimately, this journal is for the subliminal club community and I’m here to give back to the community. If you have questions, ask. If you want details, let me know. Anything I can do to help while I’m going through this, I’ll do.

My purpose here is to push my limits, and this path that I’m on is seeing what I’m capable of in a year. If I can do it in a year, anybody can, trust me.

This Journal has been edited to reflect significant changes.

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Cycle 1 Day 1 Khan ST1 Beyond Limitless

Here I am boys. First loops have been run and I feel pretty damn good. BL feels really light so far, so I think it’s a good paring and shouldn’t interfere with healing because it’s not an archetype.

First loop of ST1 felt like a weight had been lifted. I’m so damn excited to run this for 3 cycles. Also, since it only removes negative scripting, I’ve still got Emp and Wanted in my subconscious to keep giving me result while I heal–I think so anyway.

For this journal, I’ll be doing weekly checkins every Sunday where I’ll go into some detail.

Not much else to report yet.

All checkins will be filtered through the 6 goals above.

Looking forward to the journey.

Bye for now.

Praise the Urd Tree.

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Cycle 1 Day 2 Rest

I’ve had a very difficult evening and I’m having a little trouble composing my thoughts, but I think it’s important for me to share my experience in the moment and not wait until next week. I really hope Khan makes me a man of my word, so often I make these promises and don’t follow through with them.

At about 9:30p.m, things started getting difficult. My intention was to quit smoking cold turkey and go on a 14-day water fast that began today. I had fasted all day and had my final cigarette at around 6:30p.m. At about 9:30, my head started racing with all these thoughts. I can’t even remember exactly what the narrative was that was going through my mind, but it wasn’t a positive one. I found myself driving to a fast food joint. Ate to the point of sickness, then got a pack of cigarettes. In the two hours since the recon started and now, I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster that’s really difficult to put into words.

Old thinking patterns. Memories. I started screaming in my car, nearly cried two or three times. I was angry, sad, everything all at once. Failure, painful memory after painful memory flooded my awareness. So many thoughts and memories flooded through me that it’s difficult for me to even express exactly “what” was going on.

The common themes were fear of losing a woman in my life. I think I love her, but there is something lacking either in me or something lacking in her that prevents me from getting closer to her. It really feels like it’s me that needs to run the relationship.

Fear of failure of my stated goals above. I’m terrified that I’m making all the wrong choices.

Fear, fear, fear, and anger and fear and a sense of a lack of control.

The Through Line

I was finally able to calm myself down by reflecting on the past 6 months with subliminal club, looking at how the positives so grossly have outweighed the negatives that I can confidently say that how I’ve felt tonight is not who I am. This is not normal for me. Normally, I’m calm, confident, and almost always happy. In the moment, it felt as though this person is who I am, or perhaps who I’ve always been. That’s just not the case though, this is reconciliation, it’s not me.

I Don’t Like This

It’s really intense and I’m worried that I’ve made the wrong choice. I’m worried of losing everything that I’ve gained so far. This recon is the most intense that I’ve felt so far. Nothing about Khan is a joke, nothing at all. I’ve never had recon like this on the second day of a stack. I had some light recon last night, but it wasn’t worth noting because it was rather mild. This…Well it feels like I’m being broken down, quite literally broken down. I have to wonder if this is the healing modality that I want in my life…

Wanted and Emperor are Still Within Me

I have to remember that Emperor and Wanted are still within me and anything positive about them isn’t going anywhere, especially because I’m still consciously guiding my goals. This is a horrifying experience, but I’m safe.

The friends I’ve made are here to stay.
The women in my life are here to stay.
My social status is here to stay.
Everything that I’ve earned so far, is here to stay.
The woman I love is here to stay.
Everything I want, I get.
Everything I have, I’ve asked for.
The universe gives what we ask for.
I asked for Khan to break any walls that stand between me and my goals.

God Help Me

If anyone who reads this has run Khan ZP, any anecdotes would be welcomed.

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Cycle 1 Day 4 Rest

Weekly updates will begin soon. For now, I’m still learning the technology. Khan will make me a man who knows himself so well that he honors his word.

Prelude

Okay, this cycle started off pretty dramatically but that’s alright. Frankly, I have no idea what to expect going forward but what I do know is that during the last 6 months or so of subliminal use–5 cycles of EmP and Wanted; 1 cycle of Stark, Wanted, and PS; 5 cycles of a custom title; and 1 cycle of Lovebomb for Humanity–there have been some very dark days. Heck, before I started subliminals, I was in one of the darkest places that I’d been in, in my life.

What I tried to explain in my previous update was that I’ve grown accustomed to a new state of being, a state where more often than not (75-90% of the time) I’m happy, confident, and calm. This has been my normal state for some while now–I can’t really say when it became the norm, but it happened sometime in the last 6 months that I’ve been here. So, to break down on day two the way I did was emotionally jarring.

Imagine the shock of taking a cold shower for the first time: it’s such a drastic shock that for the first several moments, it’s unbearable. If you stay in the water for a while or take them often, eventually you get used to it–it always sucks, but it’s not so frightening and certainly not as bad as your mind told you it was. My breakdown was like a cold shower–fast, dramatic, frightening, short-lived, and not as frightening as my mind made it out to be. Just like a cold shower, I was more scared of the starkness of the change than anything else.

Speaking of Shocks to The System

I haven’t drunk any alcohol in three days, as a result of this, my sleep has been great! I’ve been sleeping like 10-12 hours a night since I stopped drinking. Physically I already feel healthier, younger, and more alive. It feels good. I’m still a cigarette smoker. Part of my breakdown the other day was admitting to myself that I don’t want to quit smoking. I screamed it to myself in the car while TB was tormenting me with memories of failure and ruin.

What good does it do me to be delusional about my smoking and keep talking to everyone about how much I want to quit? I don’t want to quit, I simply don’t have any desire to quit which is why I still smoke. Why should I delude myself about that? Never once have I tried to affirm that I quit smoking. Never once have I honestly tried to quit. Never once have I actually meant it when I said, “I want to quit.” I tell people I want to quit because I sometimes get embarrassed of being a smoker. Well, why not embrace it for now? Why not be a man and be honest? That’s what I’m doing, I don’t want to quit and at this moment in time, I don’t intend to quit.

Compare this to drinking. In the last three days, I haven’t drunk a drop of alcohol. Was that difficult? Nope, effortless. It was effortless because I wanted to drink less and feel healthier, so I drank less and feel healthier. Simple.

I’m going to start a water fast today. I’ll fast for 21 days total. 7-14 days will be water fasting (water, coffee, tea, cigarettes) and the remainder of the 21 days will be modified fasting (low protein, low carb, high fat (it mimics the fasting state but allows you to eat food still)). What’s the point of the water fast? Physical healing and emotional healing. Right now is actually a darn good time to do a fast, so I’m gonna do it.

How Am I Doing Now?

No recon (fingers crossed) but things are shifting. When I quiet down (for instance, before bed) and watch what the mind is doing, I see all these memories from the past popping up and being transfigured.

Beyond Limitless Works

Yeah, it’s working. Yesterday I skimmed the reading for class and when I got to class I was the most well-spoken and insightful person there. People really seemed to appreciate my contributions. It felt like I was able to connect dots far better than ever before, not to mention that I spent less time doing homework and got better results.

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Cycle 1 Day 5 Khan ST1 Beyond Limitless

I’m a mover and shaker today. Been running since I woke up getting caught up on a bunch of things that I’ve been neglecting.

The Trend/Results

The trend that I’ve noticed so far is that in the mornings, I tend to wake up feeling good, refreshed and very social. In the evenings, I tend to crash and the demons come out to play. Last night I had another breakdown, not as bad as the first one, but still a breakdown nonetheless. This morning I woke up with this overwhelming sense of responsibility. I have been neglecting my role on the student government–not responding to communications, not setting up the financial account, not preforming my duties–and today I woke up with a keen awareness that I need to set this right, right away. Setting it right has dominated most of my day thus far, which, is a worthy sacrifice. The goal of this is to do it all and balance it all, and sometimes you need to add some stones to balance the scales.

Very social this morning, which is on trend.

Very social for most of yesterday until around 8:00p.m. Prior to that, I had some amazing conversations with some people, and generally was a pretty cool dude. I also have begun the work of patching things up with a girl that caused me some heartache a few months ago–don’t have the time to link the relevant posts, but I went into a tailspin about it at the time. Thusfar, the work of patching things up is going great! She still likes me, if she didn’t she’d be ghosting me, but she’s responding to me, and seems willing to work things out in some way or another.

What else? Oh, Beyond Limitless is working. I’ve noticed today that I’m much more verbally fluent, my thoughts are clearer, and I express myself better. I’m also moving fast as hell today, yet I’m not anxious or rushing. So yeah, it’s working. This is joyus news.

Healing

Total Breakdown is doing something to me. It seems that it’s throwing the past in my face over and over again and forcing me to confront it for the sake of healing. It’s rather uncomfortable. Dispite the discomfort of the method, I notice that every night I break down and every morning I’m a little bit better–a little bit more socially open, a little bit happier, a little bit more confident.

TB scares me, but it’s helping me and it’s what I asked for and have been asking for, for months. I want it all gone damn it. Burn the weakness, burn the trauma, burn everything holding me back from being the man inside. BURN IT ALL TO THE GROUND AND LIKE A PHEONIX I WILL RISE SWORD IN HAND!

Boom boys!

I’m caffinated and high as hell on subliminals. This is fantastic.

Closing Mantra

All that I ask for, comes to me.
The universe always gives you what you truly desire.
There is no fate, only causality.
Every moment is an opportunity to break the causal chain of events and start a new one.
We are creators of our realities.
Separate but unified by the shared human experience.

Edit

How could I forget? I also doubled my money on a crypto investment. The investment was small, but who cares?

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This is not an easy one man, to stick to Khan for one year!! Kudos on this journey.

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I won’t support this if I should advise.
You are running subs man, water is very necessary for your body system and nervous system to work synergistically and process these subs.

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No, no, no. I’ll still be drinking water. No food, only water, coffee, and tea.

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Cycle 1 Day 6 Rest

The recon is very predictable. I tend to get it on rest days in the evenings, and that’s exactly what happened tonight.

A lot of stuff came up for me today. I’m actually starting to see that many of the things that came up on Love Bomb for Humanity, are coming up now. It’s different for sure, but people are still confronting me with things that I need to change.

The recon is ending. The fast had yet to being. The hard work begins soon. Things are good, tough but good.

My nights are when the demons come out and now I’ve seen many of them. Let the fires burn them out. I don’t want to live with these…things anymore. They are small things, but I hate them and they will dissolve. 3 cycles of Total Breakdown, never been more sure about anything in my life. I don’t want this weakness anymore.

It feels like a moral duty to burn this weakness. The world needs people to take up the sword, why shouldn’t it be me? Why? Why not me?

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Cycle 1 Day 8 Rest

One Week Over

I’ve made it through my first week on Total Breakdown and I’m determined to run 3 full cycles of it. I’ve found myself confronted with weakness after weakness in the last week and it’s steeled my resolve to overcome each and everyone of them. There is no law codified in nature that these weaknesses must remain, so let them burn.

I’m starting to see these weaknesses as small things that can be overcome with only a little pain and the right frame of mind.

Results

Immune to fat gain, (thanks Wanted).

Network of suitors expanded, (thanks Wanted).

Deepened friendships and new friendships and salvaged friendships, (thanks Emperor).

Traumas confronted, (thanks Total Breakdown).

Water fast initiated, (thanks Total Breakdown).

Money situation stabilized, (thanks…everything.)

Smart mode activating, (thanks Beyond Limitless).

Sense of purpose achieved, (thanks Total Breakdown).

I’ll leave it there. See you next Sunday.

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Cycle 1 Washout Day 5

I’m back, but I might not be here as often as I used to be moving forward.

I won’t really bother updating on what’s happened in the last two weeks, there’s too much. Recon was a daily phenomenon, pretty much.

Results
Beyond Limitless works. I’m faster and more effective in my studies. I work for less time and accomplish more.

I finally made a routine/schedule. I realized that the only way to get what I want is to run a tight schedule, so I started running my schedule today and it worked. It also made me feel good to see that running a schedule actually gives me more free time because I’m simply more effective.

I decided pretty firmly on my career path and the exact BootCamp that I intend to do. I will start studying CS in November, starting with 7 hours a week and then continuing to work on my schedule to find more time to study CS.

People have been nicer to me. It seems as though something about me has shifted and I’m more approachable. This is fantastic, but at the time, I haven’t felt as though I can take full advantage of this result, time will tell.

I got real with myself several times. Especially socially, I really want to be there for people, be better to people, be more present with people.

I have a girlfriend now, and I’m happy about it.

I’m full of fear, but someday it will go away.

That’s about all I care to share right now.

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Cycle 1 Washout Day 5 (Still)

Hmm.

Yeah, there have been some big changes, but I’m not really sure I can put my finger on what they are. Maybe it doesn’t matter?

It seems like my social situation has shifted again. People are suddenly being very kind to me, approaching me, trying to talk to me. This has been happening more and more since I started TB. It’s a very different energy that people are projecting toward me and it’s an energy that I’m not familiar with. I can’t tell what it is. It seems like I’m more approachable than I used to be.

I’ve never been approachable, I’ve always had an intimidating, unapproachable aura. Oh, on that note, that aura that I used to have, was one of many things that I realized I tried to beat out of myself due to being in traumatic situations. I feel like I need to say more about this:

Khan has shown me that many of the qualities that I want in myself, I ALREADY HAD ALL ALONG. Many of the qualities that I want, actually showed up in my personality in early childhood, but they were repressed and beaten out of me by abusive parents and partners over the years. Case in point, emotional non-attachment. That was a skill that I gained as a young boy and it served me well, but over the years I was forced by society to become a bit of a narcissist because I thought that my emotional non-attachment (a healthy and useful skill) was somehow wrong. So what did I do? I started dwelling on myself and my own traumas (because that’s what everybody else does) and slowly but surely, I lost the ability to be emotionally objective and traded it for being delusionally self-centered and a victim.

Why was this beaten out of me? Because I was surrounded by misguided and hurt people who didn’t understand what I was doing. I would make detached, objective comments, and my parental figures would freak out and misinterpret my objectivity and detachment for a lack of empathy. Here’s the reality, my parental figures were both highly emotional, self-centered, and incapable of viewing the world for what it actually is. Because they always became overly emotionally attached to every little thing, they thought that I was wrong for not doing the same thing. What they didn’t understand is that it’s totally possible to be emotionally detached and objective and still have a deep level of empathy for other human beings, as I did.

This also brings up memories of my empathy as an early child. I remember becoming a vegetarian early in life once I realized what eating meat actually meant. I was tortured by the thought of other animals dying to feed me. This empathy that I felt as a child, is where my emotional detachment came from. I had to learn how to cope with the overwhelming feelings of empathy for people and animals, so I did so by learning how to detach and be objective, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t care. Actually, now as an adult, I realize that the ability to emotionally detach is one of the most valuable skills that one can gain. When you can emotionally detach from situations, people, yourself even, you can make the best possible decisions. When you aren’t clouded by emotional attachment, suddenly the right choice is obvious. I’ve seen glimpses of this ability coming back into my life recently.

Now, years later, I’m trying to regain the skill of emotional non-attachment so I can be more objective and effective in my life. Emotions aren’t the enemy, it’s emotional attachment and self-centeredness. The problem is getting lost in the storm of emotions and no longer being able to act and think effectively.

Other News

I might not do the full 3 cycles of Total Breakdown. I have a rule that I can’t make any decisions until the washout comes. I’m at the end of cycle 1 washout so I’ve decided to run a second cycle of Total Breakdown, but I can’t decided on a third cycle until the end of cycle 2’s washout.

It’s very possible that I won’t do a third cycle of Total Breakdown. The healing is good, but my life is very busy and high stakes right now, so I feel like I can’t spend another 6 weeks in recon not really doing much, time will tell. Both arguments are convincing. On the one hand, the more I heal, the better the results. On the other hand, the sooner I get started, the sooner I get results. The path that I’m leaning toward is: heal just enough and then move on for now.

I can always run TB again next year after I finish the whole program.

Anyway, I don’t know what I’m going to do and I won’t know until the end of the next cycle. All I do know is that I’m going to stay with Khan because I feel like the door has been shut behind me and I might as well keep going forward. I’ve already cracked my psyche like an egg, why stop now when much of the hard work is already done? That’s the funny thing about these subs, they make it really difficult to stick to plans because you change so much and so quickly that a plan made 3 months ago just no longer makes sense with who you are.

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Update:

Okay, the bloom is here. I just walked to the hangout spot on campus and…shocker, I was welcomed and people were happy to see me again. I’ve been pretty anti-social for the last couple weeks of TB, but the bloom is here. Looks like the primary result so far has been increased social ability and connectedness. Looks like it burned through a lot of my social hangups. Particularly my unapproachable energy.

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Reading this make me want to run stage 1 again lol, but as you stated, there’s time when you can’t afford too no be productive so I might have to hold off on that front for a few months. In the meantime, ST2 seems to have similar effects for me.

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Damn, that is some real self-reflecting there. I resonated with a lot of what you said about your childhood and upbringing. As you said, you already have it within you, but we tend to forget as time goes by. Congratulations on your progress :slightly_smiling_face:

This one is so interesting. This is exactly what I have been tapping into lately with my study of Buddhism and doing TWIM loving kindness meditations, where you are taught not to take things personally, that life is impersonal, but also that you learn to radiate kindness and compassion to all living beings because you care.

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Yes bro! I’m coming to the same conclusions through my study of Taoism. Taoism is hammering home the importance of impartiality, and Buddhism is hammering home the importance of compassion. My synthesis so far is to try and live as an outwardly directed, impersonal (that I don’t take things personally) and compassionate person.

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So, I ran the full loops, every other day. I feel like it’s possible to run TB at a more relaxed pace and still get the healing. I feel that if you ran, say 2 loops a week, it might be more manageable.

I’m not going to do this yet, but I’ve been thinking about a new experimental listening pattern for situations like these, it would look something like this with two subs:

Day 1 Sub 1
Day 2 Rest
Day 3 Sub 2
Day 4 Rest
Day 5 Sub 1
Day 6 Rest
Day 7 Sub 2

The idea is that it would work kinda like a upper/lower body building split, you hit everything twice a week and you get 3 days of rest between each sub. The point of a plan like this would be to run challenging subs like TB without suffering such intense recon. Now the downfall of this plan is that you’d probably want to run more cycles, but the upshot is that it should be far less intense because you’re running half the number of loops per sub each cycle.

With a single sub, say TB, it could be like this:

Day 1 TB
Day 2 Rest
Day 3 Rest
Day 4 TB
Day 5 Rest
Day 6 Rest
Day 7 TB

2 Rest days between each loop to give plenty of time for integration and for the recon to subside.
Idk, I don’t intend to test either of these protocols any time soon, but that’s what I got.

I tested out the top protocol and wasn’t really satisfied in terms of the depth of the results I got. While I had little recon, it felt like I had less results then on previous cycles. The thing that I’ve been doing these days is playing it by ear and only playing my stack when I feel like it. The results are better than with the previous and the recon is pretty much dead, but I feel like I can still push myself more in terms of my frequency. For reference during this stack, I ran KhanST2 5 times by day 19. I feel like the trick is to keep frequency high but lower the play time, though with customs the ratio to use isn’t truly clear yet, in regard to the shorter time format.

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Makes sense. Maybe sometimes you really do just need to dive in. During the cycle, I felt so damn low, but it seems like I needed it? In hindsight the pace worked, so who am I to argue with it.

I’ve never played with lowering the time but I should keep my mind open to it in the future. High frequency, control intensity with volume (listening time), makes sense to me and tracks with how the brain seems to learn most effectively–spaced repetition every 24-48 hours.

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Now that you mention it, a 1 day on two days off could be a slightly better alternative. For reference this is the pattern I was trying, (which looks odd when I explain it like this):

Day 1 Sub 1+2
Day 2 Rest
Day 3 Rest
Day 4 Rest
Day 5 Sub 1+2
Day 6 Rest
Day 7 Rest
Day 8 Rest
Day 9 Sub 1+2

I got to this pattern by only playing on my schedule play day, meaning if I missed a play day, I’d wait for the next scheduled one and not catchup the very next day.

This seems like a slightly better way to do it:

Day 1 Sub 1+2
Day 2 Rest
Day 3 Rest
Day 4 Sub 1+2
Day 5 Rest
Day 6 Rest
Day 7 Sub 1+2

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