wait, now I’m confused lol because the amount of loops you run can have a massive impact on how much recon you experience
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I know bro, haha. Khan just isn’t my style right now. Like I said in the long post, there has been something about the “feel” of Khan that I haven’t liked since day one. So, it’s just not for me yet. I need to build up my foundation with Emperor. Truth is, Emperor was giving me a lot and the gains never stopped. The shit just works well for my current life path. Take today for instance, second loop of Emperor and people are acting cool as shit toward me again.
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Long story short. I cheated on my partner, couldn’t handle it, drove to her house and cried about it to her–she wasn’t having it–then called my mom to complain for about 3 hours about how shit my life is. That, on top of the fact that since starting Khan my relationships have been strained, I’ve been less social, less productive, my financial situation has been trash, and I’ve been more anxious and depressed than I’ve been since I started with subliminal club. So, it feels very much like a downward spiral and I take responsibility for it.
Cheating on my partner and the way I handled it was the real straw that broke the camels back for me. It’s a problem that I can fix, but i can’t fix it if I’m constantly stressed, depressed, and anxious. Yes, I could cut listening time, but honestly, I don’t want to take that risk with Khan. Things have become too serious and Khan is too unpredictable in the stuff it’s going to bring out of me. This isn’t Khans fault, it’s my own internal darkness, but I just don’t have the time to face that darkness right this moment and Khan is a big black box because the depths of my trauma is a big black box.
This is a situation I can fix. How can Emperor help me do that? Simple, because on Emperor, facing challenges feels good, my self talk is positive, and I feel ready to take on the world. That positive energy is what I need to turn this around.
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I’m also running Khan so I can kind of see where you’re coming from. I’m sorry that all of those things happened to you, at this point all you can do is use this as a lesson for the future to make sure that you avoid making the mistakes you made again.
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Yeah, bro, absolutely. There are many lessons here to learn. Some day I might run Khan again, but now that I know what I’m in for, it’s going to be a little while before I do. I really feel like I need to get my life in a more stable place before I run it again. For purely practical reasons. Maybe when I revist Khan I would have done so much work that it won’t be quite so challenging to deal with, hard to know.
That’s the thing, Khan will always be a challenging title to run. I think. That the sub is designed in such a way were the early stages induce the most recon while the latter ones are more smooth sailing because you’ve already gotten rid of a lot of the gunk holding you back. You could take the longer route and take months to get to the same outcome. When you come back to Khan, the inner voice calling you out on all of your bullshit will still be there and you’ll still feel bad if you ignore it. Hopefully, by then most of that will have been cleared. The only tip I can give you is to spend more time on ST1 and ST2 next time as they serve to build your foundation.
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Update
Mood elevated. Challenges actually feel rather small and surmountable. Thoughts are positive and useful. Overall, I’m feeling good. Anxiety low, depression, what’s depression? Depression is a state of mind for those that don’t believe in their own power to affect the changes they want in the world.
Wondering About the Stack
I’m wondering about the stack that I will run moving forward. I’m ready to commit to Emperor for a year. It works spectacularly for me, and I owe it much. Also, my God, dealing with challenges on Emperor feels so good man.
I’m going to finish the Long Update Project as I move into the new year. For right now, I’m going to stay on Emperor for a cycle and I MIGHT add Wanted back in.
Thinking pretty seriously about adding a social subliminal: Daredevil, True Social, or Inner Circle.
I’m going to get a second job. My goal is to get a bartending job. That will give me many social opportunities to help break out of this shell.
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Emperor + Dancer Cycle 1 - Day 6 - Rest
I’m very, very, tired tonight. I got almost no sleep at all last night. That’s okay though, it just is what it is.
I’m about at the end of my first week back on Emperor. I’ve just been running Emperor and Dancer.
Results
My relationships with every single person that I’ve seen and been around since starting Emperor again has improved. Since starting Emperor 6 days ago, I’ve been social with friends every single night–either going out or hanging out. People that I thought were starting to hate me came around yesterday. This one dude in particular (someone that I thought really disliked me) approached me at random yesterday and acted cool as shit toward me.
My internal state had been better than it’s been in a long time and it continues to improve. I feel like a winner and I like winning, what else is there to say about it?
Other Stuff
I’m just grateful that Emperor is working. Thank you Emperor, I think I’m going to stay on you for a long time. I still haven’t gotten close to seeing your true power.
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Reading your experience over the last couple of weeks on Khan I do feel that it’s the right call to go back to Emperor. Even though Khan has challenged me a lot over the last 2 years, I’ve never had the level of self-destructive subconscious behaviors as you mentioned. Emperor seems to fit you well 
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Seems like it brother. 
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I think I’m gonna need a new journal and some new commitments. 
This cycle ends on Jan 31st, which is kinda cool. It’s an auspicious day to commit yourself to changes.
Alright here’s the plan:
Tomorrow I run Wanted. Monday I run Emperor + Wanted. Then I take Tuesday-Sunday off (6 washout and 11 days without Dancer). Then, starting Monday, I’m gonna run the @Billions Monday, Wednesday, Friday (3rd Friday off) plan with Emperor, Wanted, and Daredevil.
So…
MONDAY:
Wanted +Daredevil
WEDNESDAY:
Emperor
FRIDAY:
Wanted + Daredevil
At this point, I should be able to tell after about a cycle or two if this plan is gonna work for me. If it works, that’s the stack and pattern I’ll be running for all of 2023.
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Update
Ran Wanted today and…God, it feels good to be back boys. Thats right, I’m back! The power, the confidence, the smoothness, IDGAF! Boom. The only wildcard is DD, but something tells me this plan is gonna work, and work well.
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Update
Gonna start the washout now and go for 8 days. Had some light recon last night, there is really no need to push it.
I’ve returned to a state of good enough I’m in a good enough place that if I were to hang out here for a little while, it wouldn’t be a bad thing.
I’m excited to start the new experiment. Just by thinking about my desires to be more socially skilled, has led to several social manifestations in the last week since I got back on Emperor. I’ve also been navigating the great Khan disaster with relative grace and ease. A few times, I considered texting my ex, but then the gentle voice of the Wanted Emperor stepped in and said, “No, let it breath. Time and silence are your friends here.” So I said, “yes sir, you’ve never steered me wrong.” And he said, “no I haven’t, because I love you and I need to live in this body with you, so my skin is in the game too.” And I said, “Very well, makes sense.” Then he said, “you know we’re the same person, right?” And I said, “whatever you say Magic man.”
In other news, I’m going to water fast for a few days. Now is a great time to do it, and I seemed to have gained some weight in the last week due to stress and the stack switch.
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Update
Pretty good results today. There is this feeling, feels like I want to cry. It comes up sometimes when I’m on Emp and Wanted. It’s not a huge deal, feels like a message from my higher self, I just don’t always know how to respond to it, so I suppose it’s an opportunity to learn how to tune in to my higher self.
Washout going pretty well. No recon for the last few days, that’s a welcome thing. I’ve had some social bloom and have been very emotionally strong.
The water fast starts today. I’m just gonna go for 3 days, nothing crazy. Start small.
Not much else to report at this time.
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So, I’m running a test today. I’m running DD and Wanted together today, then I’ll take 3 days off, and start the new experiment on Monday.
Monday: DD + Wanted
Tuesday: Rest
Wednesday: Emperor
Thursday: Rest
Friday: DD + Wanted
Saturday: Rest
Sunday: Rest
Easy, peasy. Hopefully, with less exposure and more rest, I can expect less recon and smoother (though perhaps slower) results. I’m willing to trade speed for smoothness and reduced recon.
I have a good feeling about this. I had almost completely forgotten, but my first custom that I ran for several cycles actually had the DD core in it and I ran that custom alongside Emp and Wanted for a while. So, things should go well for me on this stack since I have some familiarity with all the programs. This stack is actually similar to the stack I started with, but lighter.
Lighter because that custom also had PS core, and because I’ll be running fewer loops and taking more rest. Also, I won’t have as many aura modules in my stack, which should also make things easier.
Oh! I will also be running all programs in ZP2, so that might help also!
First loops of DD and Wanted went great. I didn’t really do anything, just hung out with some family and texted some friends but I could really feel the effects of DD. I was cracking jokes in the moment, a few had my brother rolling. Yeah, this plan is gonna work for me. New journal and objectives starting soon!
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Update
Feeling GOOD! Different programs for different people. For me, DD, Wanted, and Emp is exactly what I want and need at this particular stage of life.
DD helps me work on my social skills and social intelligence AND it tempers the darkness of Wanted.
Wanted helps with my love life and physical fitness.
Emperor makes me feel like a winner who loves winning.
All three give me a sense of IDGAF energy that comes from a place of confidence.
These three programs are PLENTY for me right now. A few weeks ago I was crying about needing to turn things around, well, as of today, I can confidently say that I’ve turned things back around.
How long will I run these programs? Who knows, maybe for the rest of my life. I don’t really need anything else. Next time I think about switching, I’ll just remind myself that these programs ARE NOT LIMITED. They grow with you, change with you, and they don’t just stop giving results.
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Update
Decided to run DD and Wanted again today. Ehh, why not.
I don’t know how these programs work and I honestly don’t give a damn anymore. Trying to figure it out is just another ego trap, it’s falling into the trap of trying to control the outcome. All I gotta do is ask for what I want, and do whatever my intuition tells me to do.
Boom!
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