Total Reprogramming, BL, Dancer
Cycle 1 - Day 15 - Dancer BL
Some results I’ve been able to notice recently.
Strength Increase: added weight or reps to all my movements, even training with the minimum effectivce dose–total body twice a week.
Lack of fat gain: Even with a completely crappy diet, I’m still maintaining a lower body fat percentage than I otherwise would have before starting subliminals.
Sexual Preformance Increase: Increased stamina and sexual skill. I was already good in bed, now I’m better. I’m less sexually anxious, that’s for damn sure.
Decreased Anxiety: This is a new result from yesterday. Anxiety is generally decreasing now that TB is finishing processing and TR continues to process.
Better relationships: Relationships are improving. People are talking to me more, trying to get closer to me.
Increased Confidence: A growing feeling that I actually can do what I say I’m going to do.
Increased Power: Certain aspect of power are increasing. Less attachment to emotions, fewer social blunders, ability to remain calmer and less reactive during confrontation.
Mental Reframing: Thoughts and memories come up, but the way I respond to them is different, sometimes dramatically different.
Increased ability to get in touch with reality: This might be a byproduct of BL (BL increases meditative ability). More and more frequently then mental chatter switches off and I’m hit with this feeling of appreciation and awe where I realize “This is my life, this, right now, I’m living it.”
Increased Mental Visualization Abilities: My mind is becoming far more visual than it used to be.
Increased Mental Organizational Skills: My thoughts are generally becoming more organized.
Looking Forward
I might never overcome the awe with subliminal club and maybe I don’t need to.
My Khan journey thus far has looked like this:
Excitement. Everything in my being was ready for Khan, ready for the challenge, ready to create the deepest change humanly possible and truly become the man that I wished to become.
Horror. My first loop of TB caused the most chaotic and intense recon that I’ve ever had with a subliminal product. That evening, I screamed, I cried, I was the most emotionally raw, terrified, and hopeless I’ve been since I was a teenager.
Bravery. Dispite the constant pain and suffering of Total Breakdown, I finished a full cycle. My relationships were deteriorating, my finances were wrecked, everything was going to hell, but I kept moving forward, trusting that this program would cause something good to happen to me.
Payoff. On the final day of washout, after my first cycle of Total Breakdown. The sky cleared, and for the first time in 3 endless weeks, I felt a sense of calm and serentiy. In that moment, I could finally see that Total Breakdown had done something positive to me. Suddenly I had a deeper awareness of myself, specifically of the disconnect between myself and reality as it actually is. It was really special.
Bravery become Recklessness. I dove back in to Total Breakdown, adding a third title to the mix (my physical shifting custom, Dancer). The recon was intense, and the physical manifestations became too much to bear. Financially I was ruined, I was being confronted constantly by everybody around me (or so it seemed), and all my friends and family started to grow more and more distant. Something needed to change, it was getting too risky. True or false, it felt as if I was about to lose every single person that I cared about all at once.
The Wisdom of Knowing My Limits. I quit Total Breakdown. It was too much at the time. Again, was it right or wrong? I don’t know. It felt as though if I continued that I might lose a lot more than I barganed for. I had already strained every single relationship so I quit TB after three loops, took 6 days off, and started TR.
Welcome to Instant Results. I started Total Reprogramming, and got some social results the very same day. What a massive relief.
The Rebuild. The three loops of TR last cycle stopped the downward spiral. People started coming back into my life. The intense negativity lessened, and I started to feel better.
Recon Returns. I started this cycle (the first official cycle of TR) and, as has been reflected in this journal, there has been some recon. TR isn’t easy either and it was never meant to be easy. The pain of change made me want to quit.
The Recommitment. I recommitted to Khan after an uniterupted string of positive manifestations.
Today. TB was taking me down in to the lowest depths of myself in order to heal. TR is taking me higher. TB shows you the lowest. TR forces you to try a little harder everytime by holding you to a higher standard. I’ll save Total Breakdown for a future time in which I have more liberty to break down.
What I’m Going to Do Today
I’m going to work on the Long Update Project right now, and then I’m going to go out with a friend tonight.
