Don’t think in subs, think in goals. If your goals are covered by Ascension, just continue listening to it, it will bring you there. It might take longer, but shortest time is not always important. Arriving is more important in my opinion.
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This how reconciliation manifest in zp .I wrote about that before
Even in my current cycle where I run HOM and ALCHEMIST STAGE 4 . I call it dull . although I have benefits from it . So for your own progress .stick to your stack . You will thank your self later .
Plus
Read this and you will gain perspective about the situation of changing titles .
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Sorry for going off topic, but @sid makes a lot of very valuable contributions, just wanted to say thanks this time (a like is sometimes not enough).
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Thanks a lot @Kyuss for your compliment & encouragement , we All share our unique point of views 
I always see this forum as a valuable place . And the variety of people and their goals ,life situations we find here is priceless in our journey . I am thankful that I am part of Sub club family 
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If the thought to switch to Ascended Mogul keeps coming back - go for it.
Especially early on in subliminal usage it takes times to figure out exactly what you like.
Just know that once you switch to Ascended Mogul, you’ll want to switch off again… and at that point, you should just stay and stick with AM for 6+ months.
Ascension and AM are literally the same program so it’s not as drastic a switch as going from Ascension to Alchemist or anything crazy like that.
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@sid I know the feeling. I feel like a Hollywood star on his 10th marriage. Lol. I am learning to make it work you have to sometimes stick to it and not go chasing after the next hot sexy thang!
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Day 24 and 26
Nothing interesting to note
Day 27
I was supposed to have a Skype meeting with my “mentor” (also family friend) today. But he didn’t make the time he had set. I called him but he didn’t pick up. This left me really frustrated. It’s been a month since he’s been paid but we haven’t started anything. He’s supposed to teach me stuff on making money online. I had called him prior to today labelling my frustrations, but he just went on an outburst. He said I wasn’t easily reachable, which is true(my phone is dead), but he could’ve easily messaged me on Skype.
The thing is I placed my financial hopes on him. So mentally I’m not locked into making money, cause I have it in the back of my head that he’ll help me take care of it. It’s frustrating for me cause my financial future isn’t in my hands.
The problem is if I were to tell him to fuck off and refund the money, my parents would pester me into going back to school. And I’d need some capital if I were to start anything so I’d also work a low level job. It would probably be best for me to be patient, but I’m tired of being passive and reliant on someone else.
The smart thing for me to do at the moment is to keep both options open. I’ll try to to move forward without my “mentor”. By the way it’s not like my “mentor” is a complete bum or anything. I know for a fact that he does live comfortably off of the internet.
Damn I think this is now going to be more of a life journal than a subliminal journal. It’s really helps when you’re angry/negative to write down the stuff that’s in your head.
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Day 27 continued
So today I went to pick up my nephew and a girl(call her ava, a family friend) from their evening lessons. As I was standing outside a little girl (probably like 6-7 years old) approached me. She asked me some questions and we talked for a while. She then told me that ava didn’t like her. She said ava insulted her using words like "mad " and “stupid”. This immediately pissed me off. How the hell can you hurl abuses at such a young girl? What if it negatively impacts her self esteem? I was going to immediately confront ava but I decided not to. Keep in mind ava is like 12 years old. It didn’t feel right to confront a twelve year old while angry.
Besides there were other things I had to consider. I hadn’t even heard ava’s side of the story. What if the little girl was being mean to ava, and she just happened to lash out in anger? The little girl could also just be lying. And Ava is like 12 years old. She probably doesn’t understand the power of words.
Also why the hell am I concerning myself with this? Am I being overprotective of this girl? She’s going to have more insults hurled at her as she grows up. This is the real world. It is the responsibility of her parents to raise a child with high self esteem.
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Day 27 continued
I noticed that I’m no longer feeling the underdog mentality that I usually have. I’m also not feeling trapped in my parents house.
For some reason I feel like jogging/working out helps with results. I’ll try to do it more often.
Dreams
First dream
I was walking towards the door of my room in pitch darkness. It’s not until I got close that I saw a man, in a red shirt, standing still outside my door. Immediately I saw him I jumped over the railing and hung on the ledge. I looked up only to see the man in the same spot, but with his face turned towards me, looking down at me. Then I woke up. I was scared to turn my head to the other side cause I thought someone was standing over me.
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Day 28
I went out for a jog today. I was too lazy to do anything other than mindlessly scroll the internet. Tried looking into energy work (You know like chakra stuff). Nothing interesting to note.
Day 29
I listened to two fifteen minute loops back to back. 1 masked and 1 ultrasonic. My sleep was really tiring. I dreamt a lot, more than I’ve ever had before.
First dream
I walked into my high school class. I first saw one of my old friends, sitting at his desk. I was animated and hyped as fuck. I shouted out his nickname, and went up to him. I proceeded to grab his shoulder, but he didn’t respond. He was more focused on the books in front of him.
The whole class was silent. Everyone was seated at their desks, looking down at their books. As if they were preparing for a test. I spotted another old friend. I approached him, shouting out his nickname. He didn’t even look up to me. Just kept looking down at his books.
Next I found a desk to sit at. A short while after a female teacher walked in. And would you believe it, it was Shakira. She was highly energetic, prancing up and down the class. When she got close to me, she stopped. She then sat at a desk right in front of me, facing me. We proceeded to have a fun chat. We matched each other’s energy really well.
I know something happened after but I’m fuzzy on the details
Second dream
I was walking out of a store when a little boy approached me. He told me he had thrown his bag of sweets over the wall. He wanted me to help him get it. I obliged. I went into the next compound and there was a giant hole in the ground. Like an asteroid hit. And the hole was filled with dirty green swamp like water. The bag of sweets happened to be inside the water. I told the kid hell no. There was no way in hell I was going to step into that dirty ass water. The kid proceeded to run past me and jumped straight into the water. Luckily the water wasn’t deep. He managed to find the bag of sweets and began eating it right in the water. His mother approached me and asked me if I had seen her son. I pointed her towards the water. That’s all I remember.
Third dream
I was sitting on a bench in a classroom when Kylie Jenner walked in. She was all dolled up, as you’d expect, wearing high heels. We locked eye contact and she gracefully walked towards me. She then sat right beside me. I quickly felt uncomfortable. I mean it’s Kylie fucking Jenner of all people. She sensed it immediately and asked if I was afraid of her. I told her no, that I was just uncomfortable. She asked me a couple more questions, and we talked for a while. It was a really nice chat. Then suddenly, from the front, she wrapped her arm around my neck. Our heads were touching at this point. She then began whispering into my ear. She asked if I liked to go raw or with a condom. I told her with a condom, that I didn’t want to risk getting a child by accident.
A short while after she got up to leave. As she began to walk towards the door her right heel snapped. I quickly got up and grabbed her shoulders with both hands. She held onto me for support then moved to lean on a table. I told I didn’t get why women liked wearing heels when they’re so uncomfortable. Then I bent down to remove her broken heel. She later got a pair of flat shoes from someone and walked out.
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Your anger is understandable, and you analyzed the situation objectively to think about both sides of the story.
Day 30
For a while I was anxious over the last two interactions with my mentor. I feel I was dominated and let him dictate the flow of the conversation. This is not sitting well with me. It wounded my ego a bit.
I feel I have this competitive, masculine energy building up inside me. Waiting to be unleashed onto the world. Think I’ll engage more in sports to release some of it.
Day 31
Listened to one 5 min loop, at high volume. Went out for a jog and had a great workout. Nothing interesting to note
Day 32
Dreams
First dream
I was sitting at the top of a skyscraper. Right on the edge. I looked to the left. The sun was bright, and the sky was blue. The sea was so vast and glistening. I was so awestruck, humbled even, by how beautiful the scene was. I forced myself to stop looking to prevent falling off.
Second day
I was sitting in the living room. My nieces and nephews were sitting in the couch opposite me. They were all staring at me in awe and admiration. Then they began showering me with compliments. One of my nieces said she thought I was a great painter. I was like nah, I don’t think so.
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Day 33 - 34
Been working out and jogging. Still feeling sore as I write this.
For the past two days I’ve been eating four times a day, instead of two. I want to bulk up. Noticed today that I ate at 2:00 pm, but felt hungry by 5:00pm. Is the sub assisting me to eat more?
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Day 35 - 36
Day 37
I reached day 10 of the bodyweight fitness primer. I feel a little excited moving into day 11. Last time I stopped at day 10. So I’m proud of myself for this. I’m glad that I’m still sticking with the workouts. The past week or so I’ve been consistent.
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I’ve been spending most of my time browsing subclub and reddit. In my head I keep thinking that I should find something more fulfilling to do. But the thing is I don’t have an interest in anything. I don’t have any passion. And I don’t have the motivation to find out what my passions are. So I just keep on procrastinating. I feel like my brain isn’t wired to go deep learning something. Reading a book is like mental torture to me. It’s like my brain is understimulated doing stuff that doesn’t give instant gratification.
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As a kid I didn’t have a particular passion. But after reading “Rich dad Poor Dad” I was really into having financial freedom. I was also interested in dropshipping. When I finished high school I told my dad I didn’t want to go to college. But he forced me anyways. That’s where things started going downhill for me. At some point I lost joy in everything and felt so empty. I tried filling the void with religion, but it didn’t help.
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Day 38
Had a dream that I was dominating my dad. I was shouting at him and he couldn’t even look me in the eye.
Practiced diaphragmatic breathing for deadbugs. Felt calm and less anxious after.
I stumbled upon a post talking about the benefits of meditation. This motivated me to look more into it. Read a book called mindfulness in plain english. Then I meditated for 20 minutes. Also looked into qi gong and yoga. Tried following some youtube videos but found it unengaging. Trying to perform the postures while paying attention to the screen was a drag.
It’s interesting how a little bit of motivation pushes you to do stuff.
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