PizzaShaman’s journal - Ongoing

Greetings all. I’m in the SubClub Fan Club! I found SC around the beginning of February and wound up ordering a custom in order to assist my goal of 100 days of sexual continence. I don’t know why I have this goal. I have been pulled towards it going on 2 years now, and it’s time to get it done and out of the way so I can move on with my life.

I’ve been perusing the titles, sampling them here and there. I know that’s not the correct way of things, but I couldn’t help myself as I see results quickly from these products. I have locked myself down to my custom, Revelation of Mind, and Quantum Limitless ST4 for the first listening stage. Revelation of Mind, when reading it’s description, I felt my soul pulled to the computer screen. That one was an easy choice. Quantum Limitless st4 I chose to further help my brain functions.

My custom:
Mind’s Eye Core
Quantum Limitless ST1 Core
Deep State
Subconscious Flow
Inner Blaze
Tyrant
Energetic Development XI
Omnidimensional
Inner Gasoline
Metamorphosis
Arcane Mastery
Ardent Light
Yggdrasil
DEUS
Pragya
Jupiter
Fusion Optimized
Divine Will
Wayfinder
Awakened Perception

Today I am on day 3 of the time frame I outlined for myself. I actually started with retention prior to the start date as circumstances allowed for it. I have felt pretty calm overall for the most part.
I do 2 rounds of a buddhist qigong in the morning and I strive to get a hemisync meditation in daily.

That’s enough for now. Other things to do.

I would like to add that it was pleasing to find this engaging community here.

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That sounds like the “100 days of laying the foundation” of daoist traditions…

Good luck on your quest :pray:

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Thank you @Sungaze . I did a quick google search and found a well constructed post on “100 days of laying the foundation”. Knowledge I didn’t have before. I credit RoM.

Ended up doing 1 loop each of my custom and RoM in the morning yesterday, and 1 loop each at bedtime. While I have QL ST4 on deck, I am not feeling compelled to run it. I do feel pulled to Revelation of Spirit though. I am aware that I have a tendency to try to maximize what I’m doing, and I am trying to apply that to this timeframe as well.

My wife is listening to RoM as well as her own custom. The amount of introspective conversation between us has gone up dramatically. I have noticed that I feel calm and chill 98% of the time. That is a big deal for me, as I recently ceased my bi-polar medication, and just this week I have not had to take my anti-anxiety. I have had flashes of insight regarding energetic practices and energy healing. I’m crediting the sub because the weed isn’t that good.

Lets see how the day goes.

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That’s awesome! :muscle:

Today is day 6. It’s morning. Yesterday was rougher than expected, in terms of “Project 100”. Affectionate feelings between my wife and I have increased. It seems that the inclusion of Soul Connection and Reignition in her custom, while beneficial for our marriage, has drastically increased the difficulty of the project. I considered asking her to stop, but I would feel bad about having her cease progress in her goal areas to turn my goal getting into “Easy Mode”. So yeah. Who doesn’t want to play on Hard Mode?
Crazy how those two modules work though. A few night’s ago, we both listened to our stack at bedtime. (same for both of us, RoM and Custom). Near the end of her listening time, I felt energy whip out from her, latch on to me, and I felt a pulling sensation on my energy/me. Took a great deal of willpower to not go to her. Past two days we were a lot more affectionate with each other. More hugs, more kisses.

No buddhist qigong yesterday or today. It gets my hormones raging so quickly! Today I will do the Grand Circle and see what that gets me. It has a more calming/meditative effect on me than the other. Perhaps that would be a better way to go. We shall see.

10 days in as far as retention goes, a 6 day head start on the project. I feel like my body is humming with energy this morning. There is an event at work today (I work in food service at a college) and I am curious to see how well it goes with the increased guest count.

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Well. Been a minute since the last post. Lessons were learned in the meanwhile however. For example, while it worked its intended purpose, QLst1 in a custom? Not the best idea. I also learned that while I had previous sub experience, it means nothing with these products. Totally different animal.
My life experiences in general HAVE helped, unexpectedly. Spending 20+ years as a porn addict and having a predisposition to bipolar disorder meant for me that I spent long periods of time with anhedonia. Most feelings of recon that I get are nothing in comparison to how I had felt in the past during ‘bad moods’, so it has been mostly easy to handle.

I have moved away from what I was running before and am now hitting up two customs: A ME/RoM custom, and a SMX/LBfH/Wanted Terminus custom. I’ve been listening to Spartan as my third as I would like to get moving in that direction, but I don’t think I’m feeling it. I’ve been drawn to RoS or True Sell oddly enough for my third, but I feel I have some modules in my RoM custom that cover a few things from RoS. Either way I’m waiting until the 16th before spending any more $$ on subs. I’m feeling excited to see what’s coming.

General info ask: I’ve been searching on here but I am unable to find out how to put in “the expansion arrow” that so many use in their posts to list their Custom Modules. It’s some type of formatting prompt I would think. I am also interested in changing the title of this journal to something more generic. I’m feeling inspired to just keep this going without having a goal in mind at the moment. If someone could fill me in on how to change/do these things, I would appreciate it.

Not too much time before work today, but I wanted to get down a few of my experiences with SubClub since my last entry.

Ascension Chamber ZP: This track, to me, is akin to magic. I had listened to it the first few weeks with no results or anything to note. After reading some tips and tricks on here, my following listen I did this: Not really knowing what to do, once the track started playing and I felt the ‘cathedral in my mind’ (usually hits me within 20 seconds or so) I spoke into the space to have a particular (usually nasty tempered)co-worker leave me alone and to have an easy work week. The co-worker did not speak to me the entire week! I was elated (and shocked) and I did the same the following week. Same results!
A third week of this, and the same again! Other co-workers started asking me what my secret was to keep the NastyOne away. I am honest and told them I listen to subs and what I did while listening to Ascension Chamber. It was laughed off. That’s fine though, it’s the results that matter. The fourth week, I was feeling a bit drained and considered that I may be expending energy to keep this person away from me in the workspace. That will not do, so the 4th week I spoke into AC that perhaps this co-worker would be better served working somewhere else. 2 days later, this co-worker was terminated.
Magic? I don’t know but it is certainly coincidental.

It feels good to get something out. More later.

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Exactly the reason why I keep my subliminal activities to myself.

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You can see in the picture where to find the prompt and to rename your journal you have to
tag RVconsultant or DarkPhilosopher. Hope that helps.

Screenshot 2023-05-12 161322

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Current Customs in stack:

Marriage Enhancement---ZP Terminus

Sex Mastery X Core
Love Bomb for Humanity Core
WANTED Core
Epigenetics & DNA Modulator
Male Enhancement
Prevent Premature Ejaculation
SPS: Endocrine System
SPS: Reproductive System
SPS: Cardiovascular System
Inner Gasoline
Subconscious Flow
Stronger
Mosaic
Reignition
Soul Connection
DEUS
Pragya
Stress Displacement
Harmonic Singularity
The Wonder

Self Enhancement---ZP

Revelation of Mind Core
Mind’s Eye Core
Deep State
Inner Gasoline
Mosaic
DEUS
Pragya
Empath
All-Seeing
Eagle Eye
Awakened Perception
Energetic Development XI
Dominion
Subconscious Flow
Mercy Protocol
Way of Understanding
Yggdrasil
Omnidimensional
Fusion Optimized
Health Codex

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If only I had gone that extra step in the advanced tutorial…oh well.

Thank you @FireDragon for supplying the missing info for me!

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5/16 morning time!

I, along with many others I’m sure, am eagerly awaiting the new release today. I have a washout coming up from the 22nd through the end of the month, so I have time to consider everything that will be released.

Did a fasting experiment Sunday into Monday. 28 hour water fast with the wife. I was curious how it would go, as I have plentiful fasting experience with Zeal. I had not been able to do a clean water fast before as I was always on some sort of medication. Now that I am done with the meds, I can go/went for the real deal.

Fasted from lunch on Mother’s Day til 4:15 yesterday afternoon. Listened to 1 Loop of each custom in the stack on Sunday afternoon. Had sexytime MD night and yesterday morning. I didn’t feel exceptionally thirsty, so I wasn’t drinking a lot of water. Massive headache yesterday late morning/early afternoon. Took a nap, didn’t help. I smoked a few bowls, no relief there either. We decided to break the fast to see if it would help with the headaches, as the wife had one as well. It helped a little bit. I did feel like I had gained enough energy to run AC. I try to keep to a Monday schedule for that and while it was on my radar all day yesterday, I wasn’t feeling up to listening until after I ate. Went into AC and directed a boost to Sub Processing and execution for this week, and for a smooth week at work.

I had to work the commencement day at my job this past weekend. I had a LBfH manifestation pop up that day. An older woman came back to my station for another serving of my product. I smiled at her and said, “Thank you ma’am! Seconds is the best compliment I get.” She looked at me and smiled, “This stuff is good.” I thanked her but she continued, “No, you don’t understand. I made (your product) for 30 years in (product famous city). This stuff is Good!”
I laughed and told her I would sleep easy that night, thank you!
A co-worker witnessed the whole exchange and expressed amazement and a bit of jealousy.

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5/17 morning time!

I am feeling pretty good this morning. Today is a listening day, so I will get to that tonight after work and whatnot. I continue to look forward to the month’s end washout. I cannot recall who proffered that listening method/routine on here, but it speaks to me.

I was out last night with me wife, getting water and groceries, when RoD dropped. A very interesting product! I will have to acquire it at some point in the near future, as I can see use for myself. I do have to move to lessening greatly or a complete ceasing of my smoking habit to begin to gain any sort of benefit from RoD. The dream interference is real! I did take a break from August-November of '22 and the dreams had been back for the first time in years. There is something to be gained there. Just a feeling.

I have been looking more at my smoking habit too. I arise and have a bowl, and usually start again upon getting home from work. It completely kills any sort of productivity I could be creating. I know it also keeps me at home, as I won’t go out and drive anywhere. While sort of a “duh” thing, it’s also a very limiting thing. I get the feeling that I will be able to unlock better things if/as I am able to get it under complete control. I recall lamenting to a work friend in years long past that it seemed my life was spent managing my marijuana and masturbation habits. While I have conquered the latter, the former…

I’ve looked at how I feel about just doing things too! So much reflection! Maybe the weed is helping with the emotional stuff there. I know I will keep myself from doing things because I don’t want my wife to jump in. I feel that my energy gets hijacked when its just starting to flow and I’m able to start a project, a cleaning task for example. I had been contemplating a basement clean out/reorganization, with the intent of creating my own space down there. Voicing it aloud to my wife, she liked the idea and started speaking with excited interest, outlining how she wants it to look. With every word she spoke I felt my desire to work on the project drain away.

A series of mental jumps here brings me back to having to develop a stronger sense of self. That post from Luther24 in the criticism thread…

I should be more confident about what I want to do and create, and be able to set some boundaries. I should be able to say, “No thank you dear, I love you and I am going to do it this way.”

I have been curious about running an alpha title. I wonder what sort of change or direction it would take me. I’m not certain which title would be good for myself. Time will reveal it. Or RoM!

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This dude. You post many things I find relevant! A subtle shift in view and everything changes…

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Thanks for letting me know!

And also for linking to your journal so that I can follow it.

There are more journals here now and it takes more time to keep up with them.

haha.

Actually, I always appreciate when people put their names in the title of their journals so that I can remember whose it is.

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5/19 morning time!

Yesterday’s listen was 6 minutes of Self Enhancement. Contemplating having a listen of Marriage Enhancement later on today, maybe 3 minutes after work. We’ll see.

Work went well enough. Summertime is slow time at my job, but I was able to keep myself busy.

I have a bit of a headache this morning, but that’s the price to pay for bedtime and morning time romps. I don’t believe it’s sub related. Thankfully the monthly enforced break is upon us and I will have some days to …recover? Recharge?

I’ve been noticing that I am feeling like I can intuit people’s body language more precisely. I observe many interactions at work and while I can’t read lips, I’m feeling like I’m picking up what’s going on.

Made a specialty item at work yesterday. One of the athletic coaches came back to tell me it was the best he’d ever had. LBfH at work I presume!

So far I’ve made it through SubClub release season without any impulse buys. My goal is to make it to June 1st with that in mind. Take stock of all the new offerings and evaluate the stack then. I gotta say tho, the description of Genesis made something stir inside, much like RoM did, and I nearly snapped it up. I feel that it would complement my 2 custom stack pretty well, especially with the action component. With that said, I am still eagerly awaiting Revelation of Body’s copy to see if that would be a good fit.

While I am still anticipating my washout, it will be the longest one I’ve done. I need to keep in mind that sub listening is only a small part of the process, conscious goal directed action is where it happens.
I am curious about the bloom coming my way.

Half day at work today, and a payday on top of that! Celebrating with tacos!

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5/23 morning time!

Day two of the washout. I am feeling a bit run down today. I believe the cold that daughter #2’s boyfriend brought over as finally spread to me, as my head hurts with sinus congestion and my throat feels a bit raw. Coffee for the time being. I’ll get my supplements and Zeal in me before I walk out that door, that will help me feel better.

I’ve been following along with the new title releases, like everyone else. I broke down and picked up Genesis, as my wife wanted to listen to that. I’ll admit I gave it a loop too. Felt pretty good on the trailer. I’m still thinking I found #3 although there are more releases to come. UPX could be beneficial, although I’d have to get into programming to get the most out of it. UWX looks real good. I’ve always wanted to get over the hump of mental friction and write a book. I appreciate the bit about hemispheric synchronization in the copy. I personally would want that in every sub I listen to; a whole brain state is best.

Hopefully I can get a fast in later on this week. My food consumption is outpacing my caloric expenditures.

I’ve figured out that I keep myself small/energetically depleted to avoid rejection/keep the status quo. I used to worry excessively that the things I said or did would drive people away. In not doing anything, keeping myself drained to the point where I don’t do much, I don’t have that risk. I know what to expect from my wife if I don’t want to go here or there. But if I start a project around the house (which I’m horrible at. I know I have good “finishing” energy, but not starting energy), I don’t know what she will say or do.

Such foolish fear, ruling my life for 42 years! As I sit here, I realize I simply need to have a conversation with my wife and I should be able to dissolve those fear blocks. Things might not go as smoothly as I want after, but they should be better. My wife has more…alpha or leadership energy then I do, however.

Might as well get started in this journal on the things I do know and have learned. I’ve been on this self discovery trip for a decade now. In that time I’ve learned:

  1. Gateway Experience/HemiSync for consciousness shifting/training
  2. Psych-K for subconscious reprogramming
  3. Qigong from a Monkey Kung-fu grandmaster for energy flow/awareness
  4. Human Design–explaining life mechanics

I feel fine in posting these as they aren’t competing subliminal companies, although I did try 2 different brands before finding SubClub. I’ll share my Human Design chart. For fun. Perhaps someone else here is aware of it.

That’s all for now.

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5/30 Morning time!

Let’s see. Ended the washout a bit early this past Sunday night. How could I not, when KBC was released? I’ve been waiting for this particular subliminal my entire life!! I read it on here somewhere: No stack plan survives first contact with SubClub releases. That certainly seems true for me.

Gave KBC: Stage 1 the first loop Sunday night.

  • About 8 minutes in, pulsations starting from deep within (bottom of the lower dan tien if yer into that) radiating out through my body. It felt like fire coursing through my qi channels, but it was MY fire. It felt like something was being cleared within those channels. I know it felt good, leading to an energy tingling in my hands.

  • Sometime later, within 2-3 hours (not quite sure, but I know it was before I went to sleep): A tsunami of calm came over me. I was in control. Finally. I am in control.

My current quandary is the decision to either keep KBC st1 solo or to add in anything else. (I was contemplating Genesis and either a custom of mine or LD) I desire to get to where I have KBC helping me power other subliminal goals. ST3 (and st4) look to be the power generating subliminal component I was looking for.

I suppose…Well. Just St1 for this first week. I will know if I need to work Genesis in. Ascension Chamber as well! I’ll have to work that in this morning. It’s been over a week since that last listen. I did think of AsC after my first KBC listen, told AsC to improve KBC processing and all that. For the first time, I got something back from AsC. The word, “FINALLY”. Just sort of hanging in the air in my mental cathedral, not consciously created by me.

So. 2 x KBC St1 today.
1x AsC

Til next time!

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5/31 Morning time!

8am. I’ve already placed the call to the township about my missed trash pick up. My account is current and all my neighbor’s cans were emptied so I guess mistakes happen. I’m currently debating either taking my dog for a walk while it’s cooler or laying down and meditating with some HemiSync. It’s been about two weeks since my last listen there, and I miss the ease of one-mindedness. Focus 10 just feels good. But the dog is sitting on my foot as I type this. I’m sure he knows.

  • During my day yesterday, I noticed a HUGE difference in my thoughtstream about sex. Normally a
    stray sexual thought rolls into another, into another, etc. I was able to observe the thought and go back to what I was doing or thinking about easily.

  • My mental attitude towards sex is changing. Just a few days ago it was more tinged with need and craving (which itself was a big improvement from before, I credit WANTED for helping me along there). Now I feel calm towards the thought or idea of it, which is odd since I can feel the energy building.

  • My perception of my sexual energy feels more sensitive. I’ve been exploring this for a few years now, and I have some experience with semen retention and energy circulation via qi gong. (Health qigong and the Grand Circle from warriorneigong.com) Today I am aware of my energy building however instead of a raw ball of energy which would soon require release, it feels like a …core that is fortifying. Quite different.

Hmm. If I can stay at ease until Friday morning, I’ll have enough energy to move via qigong. I bet that would feel different on KBC.

I still feel tempted to add Genesis in with ST1. It must be some good stuff because I gave it 1 loop over a week ago. It’s still under consideration. I know from past experience that while my exploration of gathering up my energy is very interesting, without something to put it into it is ultimately pointless. I am not active enough to use up all that energy. But it could power Genesis quite well. Feed the aura and manifestation channels. Ultimately I want to experiment with ST 3 powering my Marriage Enhancement custom, and ST1 with Genesis would be a viable step in that direction. The answer will come to me. For now, I continue with ST1 solo.

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St1 hitting hard right now. A surprise adjustment in how I feel about sexytime plans during an upcoming weekend trip. Enough to make me decide to completely alter those plans to something far less.

I kinda feel like I’ve had the desire but not known the way, and KBC is showing me the way.

I feel really good. Running this by itself after my week washout, I feel like I could add something else in. Still thinking about genesis. I’ve also thought about GLM or LD. Something. Something to require this energy I have an abundance of.

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6/1 Morning time!

I had the talk with my wife last night about my adjustment in attitude towards sex and plans. She had been looking forward to it, and after some talk we will proceed as previously planned.

It’s my son’s birthday today. 14. My youngest. Due to work schedules, the dinner celebration won’t be until tomorrow. He does have a friend coming along so he’ll like that, and we’ll get ice cream tonight.

Currently finishing up one loop of ST1. I’m still feeling tempted to add Genesis in. Goodness! Well, maybe a loop this coming Monday. Maybe once a week. We’ll see. Proceeding with loop 2 of ST1 now.

Maybe make a note for myself here!
Cycle Day 5:Listening Day
2x KBC St1

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