Okay so here’s the story and I need a bit of advice, perhaps. I’m feeling pretty emotionally stable right now, but yesterday I was too frazzled to think straight haha. I talked to a female friend and she helped me see a different perspective on the situation, but I would like some guidance on what to do next.
TL;DR
I’m an idiotic clown and I don’t know how to deal with a girl that’s playing too hard to get.
There is a girl I like that I work with (yikes), lets call her, John Smith. I’ve had eyes for her for a long time, but I stood back because I was rather dedicated to not dating coworkers, even though the company I work for fully allows and even semi-encourages it (the company publishes an internal newsletter that often includes real company love stories). 1 week ago, she hit on me when I came in off the clock. The next day, she hit on me some more and it was really nice. We were building rapport, it was playful, there was a lot of physical contact involved, we made plans to hang out, I got her number. All this speaks of wonderful results from my subliminal use.
Later that same week, John Smith isn’t working, but another female coworker, let’s call her Smith John, was working late that night. Smith John has a crush on me and I’ve never done anything about it because I don’t feel the same way. Due to a turn of events, Smith John and I end up being the only two employees working late that night and we’re laughing, having a good time, everything is great. To my eyes I am NOT flirting with Smith John, I’m just having a good time with a coworker and it is what it is, other people see Smith John and I working together and the next day…
My coworker comes up and essentially asks me if Smith John and I are seeing each other. I’m like “Crapoli in my ravioli Batman! No, Smith John and I aren’t seeing each other. I have a crush on John Smith!”
So, naturally, I’ve been concerned about the outcome of this situation. Yesterday, John Smith is at work again, and…she ignores me all day. Not just hot one day, cold the next. Think surface of a god damn star one day, einstein bose condensate the next. Not being one to quit so easily, I essentially chase her down to ask her a question, she gives a brief response and speed walks away. I’m like, “Okay, stay strong young man, this is a test from the Gods.” But as the day goes on, her behavior becomes colder and colder and more and more obnoxious.
She goes out of her way to speak to every single employee except for me in the entire office. Twice during the day, she comes up while I’m talking to another coworker, stands within inches of me, and completely ignores me and talks to the person I’m talking to, refusing to look at me, never saying a word to me. As I watch this happen twice, I think “Fascinating technique, the simulations didn’t prepare me for this.”
This goes on for 8 hours, and I feel like I’m in a fervor dream. I can be certain that she was ignoring me, but I started going nearly psychotic, it seemed as if her every move that day was calculated to irritate and confuse me. It’s like I can’t escape her, haha. No matter where I am or where I go, she’s right there, just in eyeshot or earshot, completely ignoring me. She becomes one of those little floaties in your eye that’s always there until you try and look at it. It’s there, but the second you try to engage with it, it’s gone.
About halfway through the day, I just give up and refuse to look at the girl, even though she is always, conveniently within seeing distance. I suffer in my head and contemplate my life choices, I contemplate if I really even want this girl anymore, if she really wants me. I contemplate the nature of love and loss.
Over the last half of the day, I feel my heart breaking for the first time in a while. The reason is simple, I ended things/put a stop to things with other girls in order to “free myself” for this girl. Nobody told me to do it, but it felt like the right thing to do. So, I ignore her the rest of the day, go home, and talk to my female best friend about it and she gives me the following sage advice (paraphrased):
“Maybe she doesn’t know how to flirt and is trying to get your attention.”
“She clearly likes you, girls don’t play those games with guys they don’t like.”
“You don’t need that energy in your life.”
“Text her and ask her what’s going on, just don’t do it in a way that puts the blame on her.”
“She messed up up.”
Sorry for the length of this question, I would like advice on what to do next. My instinct is to completely ignore her until the crows come home, but that’s old me thinking and it’s not the solution to this situation.
Edit: language, forgot no profanity.
