Golden Man // Wanted StarkQ Emperor ZP

Journals - Major Programs
#126

Day 20 rest

Didn’t produce much. Practiced major scales and a bit of minor scales on piano.

Played 2 hours football. Mostly DEFENSE and goalkeeping but I also scored like 3 goals (indoors court). For you Americans it’s SOCCER. Better getting dopamine bursts from scoring goals than watching porn lol.

It’s good to exercise get endorphins flowing while still being in play mode opposed to the macho vibe of the gym. Both have their place.

21 meditation when got back home after eating loaded fries and green juice /smoothie

#127

Day 21

Emperor zp
Wanted zp

Gonna listen now. Did 21 min meditation was starting to reach a bit of a meditative state towards end and had a moment of calmness as I opened my eyes but short lived. Hopefully this presence can grow little by little each day. Did ascension chamber last night before bed and visualised some stuff.
I also found a sick app called AlarmMe and it’s really well made quality alarm app tells you the quality of your sleep records sounds in the night like snoring or animals helps with routines etc.
Doing the trial atm.

Energy wise very primal like a lion but then can switch to extreme joy peace love euphoria with music quickly and can also become calm when needed.

The dance lessons have been helpful by using up my energy so I don’t have excess mania. Did hip hop and art of popping class yday and met some cool people.

#128

Day 22

Beginning of 5 day washout T_T

#129

Day 23 felt pretty low in energy last couple days meditated 21 mins last night.

21 meditation done. Wrote like 8 random bars and then was researching videos on how best to write to a beat and also lifestyle of being artist productive and marketing yourself etc.

Still feel wack energy mostly from the weird dreams I have been having last couple nights and then oversleeping.

I think i will do a 3 day washout instead of 5 on this second cycle.

#130

Day 24 washout

#131

Day 25 played Emperor then wanted very late in the day after doing pretty much nothing all day.

Funnily enough had a creative stint afterwards so there’s probably a link there. Was looking through beats tryna freestyle and come up with some lyrics. Also did some research/ learning about how to vocal punch in on Logic

#132

Day 26 listening to Stark zp

Happy Easter resurrection day everyone

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#133

Blessed Easter to you.:pray:

#134

Ive started meditationd lately, it gives me clarity. But it’s hard to sit down and do it when you need it the most.

#136

Monday after Easter pretty lazy day

Redeemed by purchasing a mic for music and streaming. → momentum less excuses

#141

Friday - day 6

Had a reunion with friend and plan was to make music we came up with some good hook and also a singing song not rap. I was helping with the lyrics I had taken my evening med tho and it was wipiiing me out so I had no energy to rap/ freestyle.

Saturday day 7

did hotpod yoga and hip hop dance class then made mistake to go out in nightclub should have conserved my energy.

Sunday day 8 lazy/depressed mostly

Monday day 9same thing although I did an important thing to do with my university offer so that’s no longer on my

Day and 10

Emperor stark wanted

Been in a bit of a depressive funk not being able to get myself to “show up” in terms of learning music crafts. I know the answer - get a job.
So today I went to fancy hotel/ bar/ kind of club place and talked to manager and had an impromptu interview.

Then I went to restaurant and got offered a place as a junior waiter. It’s very famous restaurant does see food. I think I will aim to work there 3 times a week. Hopefully by doing this I will a have more money and b be able to use my spare time more productively.

Went to art of popping dance class was fun and it’s also humbling coz in past I would freestyle dance and think I’m the sh** but actually I’m not as hotsh** as I thought I was and there is many aspects to master to get good at popping such as using your chest angles etc. slowing dooown. Speeding up. Holding tension.

#142

Day 11 rest

Cleaned flat a bit.
Sorted out admin stuff for new job as a junior waiter at a high end seafood restaurant.
Went to chess and community sauna.
Chess I played an Iranian guy first. He won the first game I was making silly mistakes and losing valuable pieces. The next game I tightened things up and beat him.
Then I watched a guy and a girl playing blitz (5 minute timer each- if the 5 minute passes you lose)
I played him after their game was done. It was a close game but he won.
Then I played the girl and she won in a really unusual way with bishop and knight which took me by surprise. I then beat her the next two games in a row.

Next I saunad which felt good. Met a potential friend. He microdoses an eighth of a tab of lsd a day lol makes him more productive he said.

Going back on bus stop get talking with a travelling Jewish guy. We chat on bus and exchange social media.

I missed my stop for quite a bit and decide to walk home. Met 2 girls while getting food Mediterranean burger peng munch omygod. Got Instagram of one and invited them to come to chess/ sauna next week.

Also had a call about dj course that I think will start when I have money. It’s three month course. Dude was super chill seems like he would be a good mentor.

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#143

Day 12

I’ve been thinking that the triple whammy is not working too well.
Forgot to play any subs in the morning.

Went to HotpodYoga vinyasa flow and it was very hard lol. Then I went to tennis coaching and also played a couple games of doubles.

Then I went to songwriting class. At the end we were jamming and I was nervous to try and sing or rap anything but eventually I let go and I also rapped my 16 bars around the topic of knowledge that I had written before. Was well received and I was I was able to rap in time mostly.

As I went home popped into JD saw some new balances that I wanted but they were 100 quidddds and my bank balance is not happy with that lol. Also saw a cool Hoodrich sweatpant and top set.

Went to a pub had burger and a pint and listened to just stark zp.

Finished paperwork for junior waiter job which was long. The employee handbooks is 86 pages!!! Read a lot of rules and guidelines might have to cut my hair which is annoying since I’ve been growing it but it’s not quite in the phase where I can tie it at the back…
Right now it’s like able to be an awkward top knot with sides that need trimming.

Called my mate shared our rap progress he made some dope bars with cool flow and nice imagery and poetic feel to it.

#144

Day 13

Friday

Rest

Studio session remaking a St JHn type beat.

Then drums teacher was basically just telling me how to handle sticks whole lesson. Addd 2 kicks to the beat I played last week that was it a bit meh and she had to leave early for a call.

Can’t remember the rest of the day hmm

#146

Day 15 rest comedown erghhhh quit coffee

#147

Day 16 comedown preparation for new job at seafood restaurant.

#148

Day 17

Oh also was induction day. Met cool funny guy and cool chick from Barcelona. The girl giving the induction was v :hot_face: hot. She was like a girl from A James Bond movie. European Exotic and classy and a magnificent peach ahahha

Good for me that I woke up7 am.

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#149

Day 18

Hot yoga before work to squeeze it in. So I don’t get itchy heat rash on my first proper day. The struggle is real my friends.
First time in ages done a 9 to 5.
Felt good to be on time / a bit early.
Shadowed one dude taking hot and cold starter dishes to different tables around the restaurants. Sort of learned how to know certain table numbers and the positions.

Also set up the outside terrace and learn to fold napkins in a really ‘clean’ way.

On a side note literally every excuse came up against me going to work etc.

Did stark after work. I tried listening just before arriving to work but was getting way too much recon.

My 20 pound shoes from sports direct were so uncomfortable and painful lol.

Edit a say 9 to 5 but it’s not really that since it’s part time for now like 3 shifts a week. Lol

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#150

I’ve decided to go private with my journal because my life is way too freaking crazy to put all of it in here and you would say I’m crazy apart from the :innocent:’s if I told you my beliefs about who isam. Another reason is to avoid the trap of falling into validation seeking. It’s annoying having to filter out a lot of crazy spiritual stuff every time I post because what I experience is out of the scope of most peoples reality.

Also guys I really recommend the app called I AM it’s an affirmation app. I hope we can all conquer our subconscious minds together and make it our beeyatch. And just our mind in general and our souls and hearts.

I learnt a new word today “apopophenia” I would probably be accused of that if I was fully open.

I will still be posting but it will be with actual objective results not just some daily diary. I will still keep a daily diary though most likely on my phone and use it for my autobiography/ Movie of my life.

I think I am the most self delusional on this forum and it may sound cliché but believing in your own talent/ potential / self is soo huge.
I have a bar that goes

Self delusional until it all comes true then who was delusional

Did wanted zp today Finishing my third cycle.

Gonna take a 7 day washout

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#151

Come back homie, just write a line or two. That’s enough. We wanna read it. :smirk: