Finally got a vigorous workout in. It has been a very long time. For the last few years, it’s just been a lot of walking. So, I’m starting short and increasing gradually.
Thank god!
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There is good in the world
There is meaning in the world
There is joy in the world
There is stimulation in the world
There are learning, opening, and growth in the world
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I’m noticing ongoing gradual shifts in consciousness.
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Right now, in meditation these days, there’s a sense of the part of me that is ‘conscious’ turning towards the parts of me that are ‘subconscious’. And there’s a new perspective of and appreciation for compassion.
It’s seeming to me that when it comes to engaging the subconscious or deeper domains of mind, compassion is the right way.
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Ran 8 minutes and change of PHENOMENAUT Genesis.
Ran 3 minutes and change of BUILD.
First time ever to play them both in one day.
Kind of tired throughout this day. Sleep interrupted a bit.
Woke up at 7:25. Showered. When son went to school, meditated. Then got myself to office, and have been on since. Two more appointments in about 5 minutes. Is what it is.
Blessings on all.
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Finished a morning Zoom meeting.
This one was a bit more energy intensive. Trying to communicate across barriers.
Made it through.
Yesterday, again, was my first time to play my two programs together. Waiting to see how that’ll show up.
Deeply value my two programs.
PHENOMENAUT Genesis: Calling, Soul, Vocation, Purpose. Finding them, exploring them, expressing them in the world
BUILD: Business, Ventures, Projects. Establishing Structures of Prosperity, Wealth, and Benefit on the Foundation of My Calling.
That’s pretty much the whole vision for now.
I noticed that in the past week, I initiated about 4 things related to my goals, plans, and values:
- resuming study and prep for a licensure exam
- returning to reading those important books related to my projects
- finally beginning higher-intensity physical workouts to heal and invigorate my physical function. (I actually think of them as Work Orders, not workouts. I go to the gym in order to place work orders with my body and to tell it how I want it to build us in the coming period of time. Physical movements and activities are instructions to your body on how to build.)
- there’s one more that I’m not thinking of right now
I noticed that my emotions and perspective hadn’t changed (i.e., feeling kind of blah, tired, etc.), but my actions are changing. I guess if it has to be one or the other right now, I’ll take the actions. I’d rather be moving to a new, better life, than to feel that I am moving to a new, better life. The feelings can catch up later.
Alright, today’s a doozy with 4 back-to-back afternoon appointments, from 2 pm to 6 pm. Want to get some food in me, and take care of one or two things first.
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Just remembered the fourth action that I’d forgotten in the previous post.
My mother asked me if I could write an introduction to a public conversation she’ll be having (in a church setting) with the mother of a child on the autistic spectrum. It’s intended raise awareness and to increase community support and engagement.
After sitting on it for over a month, I finally wrote a draft this weekend. So that was the fourth action taken. All of these actions were initiated in the past 5 days or so. Seems very clearly connected to having run my subs.
There’s nothing private or confidential in what I wrote, so I think I’ll paste it here. It’s a bit too long. She’ll probably shave it down a bit.
Writing Piece
As we begin this conversation, I am inspired by a quote from the beloved professor and thinker, Mary Catherine Bateson.
She said, “You are not what you know; you are what you are willing to learn”.
In this blessed, vast, and challenging world, it is so tempting to pursue the goal of resting on one’s laurels. Of defining a space of familiarity and control; learning the rules of that space, and then using that sense of familiarity and control to define one’s life.
From this perspective, any person, any idea, any change that lies outside of this circle of predictability; outside of ‘WHAT WE KNOW’, is at worst an intrusion or a personal affront to be defended against, and at best an inconvenience to be tolerated and (hopefully) cleared away.
And yet, as we live in this world, as we strive to appreciate it—the highs and the lows, one thing is eminently clear:
this is a living world.
Ever-moving, Ever-shifting, Ever-changing. From one season to the next. From one fashion to the next. From one person to the next.
Change and growth, Abundance and Diversity, are inherent in nature and in us.
And so, far from ‘pressing pause’ or trying to freeze life and fit it into what we already know, we must recognize that this world of ours is a living world. And the best response to a living world? Is a living, learning mind.
A learning mind is a resourceful mind, and it is the vital, miraculous ingredient that reveals the hidden treasures that are all around us. A mind that is alive with learning transforms every interaction into an opportunity. We only need to remember.
Human beings have created books that allow us to learn and record all kinds of amazing things.
But God? God created human beings. And from these living books—the human beings that exist all around us—we can learn even more.
Let us remember this and determine to learn from each other.
Let us face one another and ask, ‘What is there for me to learn from you?’
Today’s conversation offers just such an opportunity. Come to this talk with your own living mind of learning, and I believe you will find blessed treasures in the experiences and perspectives of these members of our church family.
[ENDS]
I wanted so much to put in the saying, ‘三人行必有我師’. [Among any three people walking, it is a certainty that there will be someone from whom I can profoundly learn.] But I knew that would be distracting. haha.
I was trying to write to the nature of the audience as I imagined it.
Now that I read it over, it seems pretty clear that its spirit was influenced in part by the presence of New Learning Experience in my custom.
Okay.
Onward with the day.
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Just a question on this part
Doesn’t it separate you to much from your body as a part of your self?
To me it sounds rather like an order to an employee and not like an interaction with that part of you that connects you to the material world.
But that slightly negative impression might stem from my experience with employer-employee-relations.
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Hmm…you’re right. It could be taken that way.
But that’s not how I mean it or experience it.
I subscribe to a Composite or Agglomerative or Parts-based view of self.
I think of what I am as a large committee made up of many parts. This means that some parts can communicate with other parts.
The part that we call ‘I’ is, in my view, a bit exaggerated and over-rated. It’s very important, definitely. (particularly to ‘me’, 
). But it’s not the actual center or the true foundation of the entire show at all. Just a very convenient reference point for telling stories, weaving narratives, and organizing accounts and points of view.
The ‘I’ (aka the ego) needs to be cultivated, developed, and refined, just like any other part of this system. It likes to pretend it’s the ‘most important part’, but that is highly debatable.
So, the way I see it, there are many parts of me, and they’re communicating—sometimes well, sometimes poorly—all the time.
They are separate. And they are also unified.
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6:21 of PHENOMENAUT Genesis while riding the train
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2:21 of BUILD (on minibus)
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Today I’m going to try the experiment of running full-loops.
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Ran a full loop of PHENOMENAUT Genesis QTKS just now.
A little records-keeping:
I first played this QTKS program on 18 October 2023. In that first play-period, I played shorter loops. Started at 5 minutes on 18 October and then gradually ramped up to 12 minutes by 5 November 2023.
I was playing it then in a 3 title stack with a Physical Healing focused custom subliminal, POOLS (built with Khan Black stage 2), and with (sometimes) Nouveau RICH. Played 9 loops of PHENOMENAUT Genesis QTKS in that first play period.
In the next play period, 11 November to 28 November 2023, I played 6 more loops of PHENOMENAUT Genesis. The last 5 of those were full loops. At that time, my other two programs were Khan Black stage 3 and Genesis: Mogul.
Life got busy and I chose to do a long washout. 5 weeks long, Wednesday 29 November 2023, until Tuesday 2 January 2024, when I’d finally gotten all of my work done.
On Wednesday 3 January 2024, I resumed listening, this time with just one program, PHENOMENAUT Genesis QTKS.
For one play period, I played a full loop of this custom just about every other day. So 9 more loops. And then I gave PHENOMENAUT a rest. From 26 January to 29 February, I played other programs.
When I did return on 29 February, it was with shorter loops. More spread out. Today is the 7th loop since I resumed PHENOMENAUT Genesis 1 month ago.
So all told, that’s 31 sessions with PHENOMENAUT Genesis, from October 2023 until today.
My 2nd program, BUILD QTKS is more straightforward.
I started it on 21 February 2024 with micro-loops. I staggered my two QTKS customs at first. Just one program each week.
So far, I have had 12 sessions of BUILD QTKS in total.
Today, the 13th session, will be my first full-loop. The longest one I’ve played so far has been 7 minutes 48 seconds back on 9 March. I don’t remember any difficult or challenging effects.
30 March 2024:
31 sessions of PHENOMENAUT Genesis.
13 sessions with BUILD.
Here we go.
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Played full loops of my two programs today. So far so good. No discomfort.
But what I’m more interested in is how well my mind can process and execute this volume of material.
We’ll see. I do have a slight awareness of energy flow and sensation around the crown of my head. Pretty subtle.
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I’m not speed-reading, but I am reading consistently.
As mentioned above, I’d committed to read Elliot Aronson’s The Social Animal, about 2.5 years ago, because a respected instructor strongly recommended it.
It’s not my typical go-to, and that alone makes me feel like it’s a good idea. But it was a vow that was hanging over my head, so I’m glad to get through it either way.
On 21 March, suddenly I got an influx of intention to work my way through this one (and many others). Just 5 pages a day would be the minimum requirement. I’ll keep that as the minimum requirement for now. It’s realistic and achievable, even on relatively busy days.
Nonetheless, since that first day, I’ve read 115 pages, so, over twice the target.
So far so good. And I am noticing it feeling and getting a bit faster and smoother. Great. We’ll keep going.
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@IRON I wish you a wonderful day!!!
Love, peace, joy and everything solid, prosperous, and good.
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This is a great moment.
But what takes it home for me is that dope music behind it. That’s what I’m actually listening to.
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I just listened to that on repeat until my headphones ran out.
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Not sure if it was intentional or not, but this heavily links up to what you talked about with parts in your previous post. There seems to be a lot of trapped pain behind those parts of himself that grew up fighting and the roughness he endured. And then from what I saw in the video, and me learning about parts work, he has a managing or judgemental part that wants to separate from those things. 52 seconds, but you can witness such a complex emotional landscape.
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From what I know of him, the answer is probably Both.
I get the sense that becoming this fighter was more important to him than anything else, and so he was pouring everything possible of himself into it. He approached boxing intellectually, physically, primally, emotionally, and psychically.
But I don’t think he was following boxing as somehow a path of cultivation of a higher purpose (e.g., self-development). Rather, I think that becoming this fighter was his path, focus, and purpose. It was holding his life together in many ways. And it was not really sustainable. But for the time that it came together he was a genuinely awesome and awe-inspiring force. Still is, in many ways.
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