Geoff's Journal - Reflections of a Hero

Journals - Custom Subliminals
#141

Man, did I get a lot of looks last night/this morning. No real conversation but I swear my aura was giving off light and unity vibes. I cant explain how ‘high vibe’ I’ve been feeling all week.

Things are just awesome internally, I’ve never felt so peaceful and whole. I think my minds finally gotten through the Rom/Ros recon of 3 mins. I carry this inner child light around with me now and it shows. I’m light Spirited, friendly and kind with a dash of enthusiastic positivity. Im more caring, both with myself and others.

What a truly beautiful stack.

2 Likes
#142

Thurs

End of Cycle 4 / Washout

Reflections - 3 min

Hero Origins - 3 min

Updated Reflections

Cores:

  1. The Revelation of Mind

  2. The Revelation of Spirit

Modules:

  1. Avatar

  2. Stillmind

  3. Inner Blaze

  4. Ardent Light

  5. Faith Unyielding

  6. Evolving Identity

  7. Intuition Enhancer

  8. Seeker’s Discernment

  9. Way of Understanding

  10. Symphony of the Glyphs

  11. Synergy: Inescapable Gaze

  12. Synergy: Wisdom of the Ages

  13. Experimental ZPU Anti-Recon

  14. New Spirituality Experience Core

Synergy: Inescapable Gaze -

Eagle Eye

Awakened Perception

All Seeing

Seducers Gaze

Synergy: Wisdom of the Ages -

Wisdom Personified

Mimisbrunnr

Pragya

Wayfinder

Tonight I ran my updated Reflections custom. I noticed almost immediately that it was much lighter to listen to with the anti-recon module vs original build. It has Way of Understanding, Ardent Light, Inner Blaze and ZPU Anti-Recon Module. I removed Book Blitz, Mosaic, Synergy: Subconscious Mastery and Homeostasis. Same amount of modules though, at 16.

Giving myself a 10 day washout, these days I really value processing days as the topics of my stack are pretty deep.

1 Like
#143

“Life’s biggest tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.”

-Benjamin Franklin

1 Like
#144

Its been a struggle, lots of stress with my job. A positive is that my neurofeedback session last friday fixed a long standing issue I was dealing with.

Last night my shift underwent some changes and due to union preferencing, I lost my work area and am being forced to 1st for training on a work cell I do not want to run. Luckily there is a job opening in another department within this company and I bid for it tonight. I wont know until Weds or later if I won the job. It’ll be for 2nd shift which isnt great but its better than 3rd and a pay cut which ill deal with.

I actually applied for a job I found on Indeed as well. Im quite upset at the circumstances Ive found myself in and I am kind of shocked at my own unwillingness to submit to the forced plan im on. Id rather quit then defer to what path ive been forced onto.

I can definitely see the growth in self respect. In the past I would have hid, kept quiet and accepted whatever in the name of job security (which isnt real) and peace. Ive also lost a lot of respect for some workers as well as this company based on this whole situation.

Ive been much more outspoken with people lately, you could even say more honest with my words. Im holding back less, using more accurate words. There is less repression of authenticity. The world will take everything you have if you let it, while this understanding is nothing new, I am vividly more aware of it now.

Aside from the job stresses my intuition and predictions/guesses are getting more accurate. Ive found myself guessing numbers and seeing that exact number or picking something and being right. Idk, I just seem to be more connected and aware which is great.

Im very much excited to keep putting myself first (in a healthy way), not compromising for others benefit.

2 Likes
#145

Off for the holiday, finally. I tried finding out if I won the job in the other department. It looks like I wont find out until Tuesday according to company HR.

I seem to have trouble relaxing, letting myself enjoy my time off. My mind just keeps ruminating over my options, trying to strategize the if this, then that. I guess my mind is looking for safety and comfort during this period of uncertainty that is out of my control. Ive been kind of ashamed at how Ive been reacting (internally) to all of this regarding my job. To me, theres been a lot of injustice and Ive reacted with quiet hostility, resentment and disrespect towards the company and some coworkers. Its as if the whole dynamic shifted from me being part of the team to someone on the outside.

Ive been reflecting on why my behavior changed. Looking back on my life, I tend to think worse case off the bat. Whenever Im wronged, disregarded or disrespected I tend to go hard into the negative. Ive always been drawn to virtues, resilience, discipline and the Bible because I want to be stronger, better, higher quality. Its easy to be ‘good’ when things are going well. Im torn between how I feel about myself. Is anger and upset over the injustice I am experiencing justified or am I supposed to just go with the flow and accept the misfortune.

Ive decided that Im no longer content with the way things are. Ive taken as much action as I can to facilitate changes. I recognize that I am burnt out career wise and do not not seem to want to continue doing any ‘more’ than I currently am. At first I figured I was lazy. Its more than that, the loss of satisfaction, the absence of interest, the signs are there. The world is not conducive to good jobs anymore so I must stay reasonable and temper expectations. In all honesty, I am tired of doing things I dont want to do but hey thats life. My goal is to try and give myself a better daily experience without throwing away all Ive worked for.

My stack has been opening me up. Im seeing my life, my existence in much deeper ways. I see how unfufilled, unhappy and traumatized I am. When have I ever really lived for myself. That question keeps growing louder. I have a feeling that by the end of 2026 my life is going to be much different. I get the feeling this stack is going to help me figure myself out then itll be pure execution of change. Out with the old, in with the new.

Im not the same person as I was 10 years ago. I dont have to stay in this same structure/framework I built back then. I look at the life ive built and at first it looks safe and stable but lately I feel as though Ive built my own prison, constrained by all the things that once made me feel safe.

I give myself credit for fighting back, against anything and everything I do not want. Im no longer interested in taking what I can get, whats left over. That now feels offensive to me.

3 Likes
#146

Cycle 5

Sun

Reflections - 4 mins

Hero Origins - 4 mins

What can I say, Ive been more consistent lately. 3 weeks or a month ago, I was 150lbs, now I am 143.6lbs. Still tracking a calorie deficit and maintaining lifestyle discipline. Financial discipline as well, Im about $750 shy of paying off my loan which I believe will still happen this month which accomplishes my goal two months early.

Job wise, no idea whats happening yet but im trying to prepare myself for ultimate disappointment. Im quite dissatisfied with it all.

Rom & Ros has really been opening up my mind. Is it just me or does everything feel fake? Society, opinions, entertainment, people’s behavior among other things. I find myself questioning what feels like a main program. Reminds me of the Matrix movies but not exactly that. Psychologically cutting away the fluff and seeing the substance or lack thereof in things. I could just be getting older and wiser, but the razzle dazzle of life is almost entirely gone. We are all asleep and sometimes I get these moments where it feels like I glitched and ‘felt’ the real sneak in for only a moment then im left trying to think about something so fleeting that I never do grasp it. Idk…it’s like waking up for a second or two, and its gone before you can barely register it.

This is hardly a good time in society to finally be ready for big changes, to realize im tired of the work I do, the way I live, where I live ect. Theres quite a lack of opportunities around me that could support making big changes, its frustrating. Still trying to work things out. All I know right now is that I want to change, in many ways. Some things are easy and ive started (like above) others are not so easy. My mindset is definitely on the right path, Hero’s scripting has been such a great companion with Rom & Ros.

2 Likes
#147

Its been difficult recognizing results overtly since I remade my custom with anti-recon. If course I could be overwhelmed with my job situation too and have limited awareness from that.

I havent ‘felt’ much recon at all since my 4 min loop two days ago. Before the remake, I was full of recon, I felt overloaded most of the time and needed about 5 rest days in-between loops. Now, Im thinking about running a loop tomorrow. I thought I would be more aware of the processing with anti-recon but honestly, these past two days ive felt kinda empty minded, less preoccupied and less distracted. It isnt a bad thing per se but I do feel a little hollow compared to the fully grounded state I was experiencing in past cycles.

The remake of my custom also seems to have decreased my desire to introspect and journal. Im not sure why but I feel blank or numb more now than I have since starting this stack.

Maybe Im actually experiencing recon but its the silent type, the type that affects your daily life but you are hardly aware of it. Ive been quite stressed, hopefully tonight at work I get good news.

3 Likes
#148

I’ve been noticing this too about myself

Weird, I didn’t think to question it till I saw your post

#149

Weds

Reflections - 4 mins

Hero Origins - 4 mins (will run tonight)

I listened to Reflections and definitely felt more head sensations, maybe 3 rest days is still not enough. Theres a clear sense of felt processing burden, unlike my first loop this cycle. I think the anti-recon quiets my mind, takes the force out of the reconciliation process so its less overt and present and now exists in the background. I dont seem to be experiencing present moment conscious introspection like I was before the update to my custom. I will listen to Hero Origins tonight before work.

On other news, I found out last night that I won my bid for the job in another dept. I signed the agreement this morning. Starting Monday, I will be on 1st shift for training then by end of March I will be on 2nd. This is a huge win for me. I didnt think I’d get off nights anytime soon, I cant express how pleased I am. Things are really changing and I didnt even have to find another job. I am definitely burnt out on my current job and this just worked out well.

Now my circadian rhythm will normalize, my metabolism will correct and all the bad health markers associated with nights will go away. The subtle depressive/gloomer state will fade as well. Maybe I’ll find enthusiasm and drive again. I couldn’t be more grateful for this opportunity, Thank you Jesus!

Two more nights and im done with 3rd. Even the small paycut doesnt bother me, in the past I would have had an issue letting myself take one but now I recognize whats actually important to me and thats growth.

3 Likes
#150

Ive been trying to figure out why I feel less aware. This cycle the recon has been in the background compared to before when it was in my face for days. I have no doubt growth is still happening but I am just very much unaware of it now. To be honest, thats frustrating me. Ive always been a thinker, an introspective deep diver. Since the anti-recon module, its like ive been removed from participating in my own process?

I have Evolving Identity in Reflections and now I dont feel it all. Most days I feel comfortably numb inside my mind, passive and unaware of the deep work going on. I understand the benefits of being less attached to all the thoughts flowing around but its less satisfying. I added Way of Understanding to increase and focus on understanding myself and the Why’s of my behavior and well so far I feel/notice nothing. Is all this just recon Im not aware of because ZPU Anti-Recon makes it so smooth? Am I just preoccupied with this issue because to me if Im not feeling overt recon then something is wrong? Is my experience currently even related to anti-recon? I could just be speculating and be completely off base. In no way am I bashing anything, just trying to figure out why I feel as though ive dropped a level, regressed ect

Im thinking that its more difficult for me to figure out when to listen to loops as on the surface I feel ‘good’ as in unburdened by typical recon symptoms yet I think my current processing queue is already full. Its been tricky. Two loops spaced 3 days apart and I now feel that faintly familiar ‘full cup’ sensation as I write this post. I guess I will go back to once every 5 days or so until clarity comes back, if it comes back.

As crazy as it sounds, I honestly miss the old overt recon, as disruptive as it was, I was included and able to participate. Now it just feels like the action is happening in the back room while im up front running other things, if that makes sense. No longer an active part, but maybe thats the whole point? Maybe most people dont want to actively deal with things but rather be free to live daily while the ‘junk’ is worked out behind the scenes. Maybe I just have control issues and not feeling like I have full connection/presence/participation within my mental world makes me feel unsafe.

2 Likes
#151

Just paid off my remaining loan. Damn it feels good to accomplish a goal, especially doing it 2 months earlier than planned.

So far, Ive begun losing weight, changed job/shift and paid off debt. Improved discipline, improved consistency and growing in all aspects towards masculine righteous embodiment. I am honestly proud of myself and not in a prideful way, rather I can see that I am becoming ‘correct’ and that feels really good. I wasted so many years living wrong and its all changing for the better, finally.

Yesterday I called off work on my last day of nights and tried to flip my schedule. Lol, I ended up sleeping 4 hours and now im in this weird half asleep/half awake fun zone. Adaptation does not happen as quickly at 40 as it did at 20 im finding out. Even though my body was fighting me on nights this whole time, it still fought me trying to sleep at night. I have to figure out my schedule, fasting and meals all over again this weekend and then again in spring when I settle on my standard shift.

I was out shopping this morning, I realize I felt uncomfortable and kept scanning my surroundings. Im not used to a lot of ppl. Shopping at night or early morning isnt very packed. Its crazy how uncomfortable one can feel when adjusting to ‘normal’

Im not sure if this is from Hero or whatnot but Kindness has been on the forefront of my mind. I started looking at ppl randomly trying to discern who I thought would be kind or not. Kindness is quickly becoming a non negotiable quality for anyone in my life. I was thinking about words, about the idea of spell-casting. What we say, how we say things and common phrases in the world. We keep ourselves and others down all the time by how we talk. We share laughs in the misfortunes of others. Im guilty of this, especially in my youth. Its been on my heart to not speak unless its of a high frequency, aka love, kindness and patience. Cultivating compassion for myself and others but also speaking out loud, positivity instead of lower vibrational words.

I still struggle with cussing, though its much better, its not completely gone. My reactionary commentary always seems to be a cuss word and I realized just how deep ive programmed these verbal reactions. Im really feeling focused on becoming clean, in many ways. Cleanliness is next to Godliness kind of work but more than just physically. I might not feel the overt motivation of Emperor in daily life but there is a sense of consistent empowerment towards becoming better. I guess this is what Hero is all about? Mastery. Little did I really know that its affecting every part of my life. The “Craft mastery” threw me off, thinking it only really applied to your job/hobby ect. The Mastery scripting is honestly helping me to master myself and that is expressing for me in consistency of action and practice. Discipline in doing the hard things regardless. Superior thinking compared to before Hero, questioning things through virtue filters. Healthy detachment, freedom from a damaged past and a strong urge for continuous improvement. Its not motivation but a strong slow moving but consistent force moving me forward without feeling pushy, anxious or angry if that makes sense.

4 Likes
#152

Sun

Reflections - 4 mins

Hero Origins - 4 mins

The past 3 days have been rough adjusting to days, crap sleep and zombified awake time. Today I am feeling about 60%/65%. I wish I had to more to say and share but when the brain is tired, nothing is going on.

1 Like
#153

This week has been rough performance wise. I looked up Circadian rhythm disorder/dysregulation and recognized that I am experiencing every single listed symptom/effect. Its been 7 days and Im still struggling with little improvement, even having increased intensity of some symptoms. I was happy to see a few symptoms listed though, as I was unaware those issues that ive been dealing with all year are actually due to Circadian rhythm, I thought it was separate.

Its been difficult to recognize results overall during this time and from my reading, it can take up to a month to fully adjust.

Aside from the performance aspect, my mood has been better than expected. Ive consistently felt joy while at work. Im sure im feeling happy due to all the change occurring however I do recognize this joy as a result from my stack, in fact Inner Blaze is a module I added recently to this updated custom and I was waiting for my support ticket to be answered. After reading the response, I now can understand where this new zest and joyful enthusiasm is being charged up from.

"Reply To Your Support Ticket
Hello Geoff

An agent just replied to your ticket: Inner Blaze, with the ticket ID #32429:
Hello,

Thanks for reaching out to us! Inner Blaze is essentially a module that amplifies your inner drive, spiritual vitality, and personal radiance.

Within a RoM/RoS custom, Inner Blaze helps you:

• Strengthen your inner conviction and sense of purpose
• Deepen spiritual awareness and intuitive alignment
• Bring more power and authenticity into how you think, act, and connect
• Enhance the transformative effects of both Revelation cores

It basically adds an energized, centered intensity to your spiritual and mental development, making your RoM/RoS custom feel more alive, driven, and internally supported.

I hope I was able to provide some helpful insight today. Thanks again for contacting us and please feel free to reach out again for any other questions. We’re always happy to help!

Best regards,
SubClub"

I can definitely confirm the feeling more alive aspect compared to the first version of my custom without Inner Blaze. There is definitely a feeling of vitality but its not exactly physically centered, its a wholesome vitality.

I honestly had no idea what this module did and I really appreciate this answe. This greatly improves my clarity and helps me fine tune my awareness towards results.

Since adding Ardent Light as well, my perpensity to indulge in unfavorable behavior or act on impulses has diminished. Before adding, Id look at photos online(no m.o.) but just look, since adding, nothing. I get no urges to make or buy cheat meals, no desire to spend $ either which I found interesting. I started to realize that I was bored, empty and unfufilled and I’d “window shop” online and buy stuff to escape emptiness or seek comfort and now even that is gone.

I am becoming self fufilling. Externalization of needs and wants is changing. Materialism is rapidly becoming pointless. Connection, both to myself and others is growing.

The concept of God being self- existent, self contained, needing no external source for support…I always found that fascinating. The way I am starting to feel now is kind of related. Im moving towards to this sense of complete self sustainment. The world constantly tells you that you’re not enough and then sell you all these things you’re told will make you enough. That ideology is dead, Ive always been enough. Something is building within, the strong sense of knowing…Inner knowing of power, of truth. A foundation built on a rock compared to sand. Im becoming unmovable in a very internal way.

2 Likes
#154

Sat

Hero Origins - 4 min

Reflections- 4 min

I switched the listening order this time as well as listened back to back instead of morning/night previously.

Things are very much in an unsettled state for me with all of the changes. I can honestly say that within this 1 week of being in a new dept at work and having a different schedule that I dont even feel like the same person.

Im not sure exactly if its any one thing or sub but the enthusiasm within me is absurd. I actually did not want to go home yesterday from work as I kept trying to finish one more thing. Its almost ridiculous how much joy, interest and gratitude I have for this new opportunity. I was not expecting any of this.

Im loving this module Inner Blaze, the internal radiance is unlike anything ive experienced, some days I feel like im vibrating with light if that makes sense. Slowly I feel like the true self is being pulled out of hiding. All of the changes going on are deep aspects of self, not the shallow, fleshly surface level aspects like looks, speech, body language, hobbies/interests, seduction game and all that bullshit.

Its like coming alive. Months ago I wrote about losing my spark back in high school. Going 25+ years without a zest for life, operating only out of fear and anxiety to survive. Always struggling with “Whats the point” as the auto response in my mind to anything that caught my interest. Now, it seems to be easing and I am actually feeling that vibrancy, that sense of aliveness. I recognize this vibe from when I was young before I lost it. Im seeing the emergence of ot again and it fills me with joy.

Its like waking up out of a trance and seeing others still in it, you look and think “Wtf is wrong with everyone”. This is kind of how I see it now, when I was “dead” Im sure ppl saw in me what I couldn’t see in myself. Now Im full of these qualities or aspects and I look around at others and see my old self in a way. At the least, I recognize what I was missing. Hmmm…maybe this is a result of Way of Understanding?

Its been fascinating to be honest, observing myself. I used to be so unaware of myself and now its getting better. We grow up worrying about judging the external and giving our opinions but the real deal is ourselves.

I have also been really losing interest in anything typical or mainstream. If the majority is talking about something or doing something, Im doing the opposite and ive always been this way. Ive also had the propensity to do/think the opposite of the majority but im becoming intensely turned off by the current environment, moreso than ever before. I think the wisdom scripting is really starting to take hold and discernment is getting stronger. I question my motives often, my internal filters are improving which helps me make much better decisions. I used to struggle bad with indecisiveness but a lot of that was anxiety too. Ive since noticed a much more grounded and calm decision making process since this stack.

So far on this stack ive accomplished -

Getting off nightshift (which is huge for many reasons)
Changed the work I do (confirmed, I was definitely burnt out with old work)
In process of regaining my missing “Spark of Life” and putting to rest the “Whats the point” dismissive personality defect thats plagued me all my life

These are big, big achievements.

Ive also cultivated increased

Joy
Enthusiasm
Discernment
Faith
Willpower
Understanding
Perception
Awareness
Sensory power (hearing and taste mostly that I recognize)
Gratitude

Hero has been a blessing while learning my new job. I have a strong urge daily to do things right, never cutting corners. To finish everything I can and not be lazy. To give full effort when learning a process, not just pushing through. I also seem to be speaking up more, much less reserved, not holding back, being willing to take a chance, go first ect.

Its only been a week and after Monday I am off until Jan 5th from work but man, I really am happy with the results of this stack.

I love this paragraph from Hero’s description -

“The heavy emphasis on developing inner wisdom and morality can be extremely transformative. HERO Origins is not a toy. Expect transformation.”

100% Truth!

2 Likes
#155

Self-Prioritization is a beautiful thing.

2 Likes
#156

So for a few days recently I have found myself with the desire to color. Yes, like a coloring book. Lol, I waited a few days to see if this was a nonsensical and fleeting desire but hey it remains and I just ordered two adult coloring books, both “Christian” types with accompanying scriptures on each picture. I bought a sweet set of colored pencils, not much into markers myself.

Honestly I thought something was wrong, why would a grown man want to color? So I googled it and apparently “Art Therapy” is a thing? Never heard of it. Apparently its helpful for mindfulness, stress and anxiety relief as well as healthy emotional expression through creativity.

Now I have zero drawing skill, was never into art or felt creative at all. But here I am pursuing this.

I run a loop of Regeneration here and there but nothing consistent, could this be a result/manifestation from Regeneration as far as a “skill or tool” for nervous system regulation? I cant emphasize enough how unlike me it is for me to want to color. Is this a Rom/Ros result? Could I be liberating my Inner Child and engaging in pure and innocent activities that a healthy child would be doing?

@SaintSovereign I am genuinely curious where this is coming from.

3 Likes
#157

Note to self:

A disciplined man without God is just a well-organized slave.

1 Like