Fri
Listening day 34
Arete - 15 min
Regon - 15 min
Last day of the cycle, will be washing out for close to 30 days now. This yearâs had a lot of changes and things keep moving forward.
The past month ive noticed a reduction in nervous system activation. Ive seen my sense of urgency wane, my drive settle down along with becoming less reactive to people around me. Ive been struggling trying to look at this as a positive because it seems like a drop in performance across the board. I know that a hyperactive, tense body is not in a good state but it yielded higher performance. Now that im healing and settling into myself, theres much less engagement, at least in a hyper responder way. I do enjoy seeing myself not jumping to accommodate others at work when I was previously. I continue to see small progress in my sleep, only waking up once now and falling back asleep vs waking 4 hours early and staying awake. New bed has been better but only have using it for a week so far. I continue to wake up tired and still not dreaming though. Once I fully fix my sleep, I think my life will drastically change. For now though, I do think im slowly returning to center with all the work im doing on myself.
I continue to not have any interest in entertainment. Movies I can hardly bring myself to watch. I am either sitting/resting in silence, reading or being productive. Much less engaged with the modern or mainstream, theres a decent pull towards the old ways or the simple that feels much more fufilling to me.
Ive seen myself become much more giving when opportunities arise, giving time or attention and really being present for others when I sense they need it. Kindness and Charity modules have been expressing well but I do feel the drain of it due to my low capacity of internal love currently. Iâll be adding Love Bomb back next cycle in order to build a bigger wellspring of Love within and to support the Virtue modules. Arete is a fantastic custom, really satisfied with it and will be continuing it but using it has shown me that the Love aspect is lacking. Biblically speaking, Love is very important to becoming Whole so in my quest to become a complete man, this is the next step.
Ive been getting a decent amount of recognition at work, a Quality engineer who saw me start right on a request said in passing âAlways trying to be the Hero huh Geoffâ while smirking. First time I heard anyone use Hero with me.
I also has the 2nd shift supervisor (not my direct supervisor) tell the machine shop manager how great of a worker I am, that I actually care and want to learn and that he was impressed with how well I am doing. That was much appreciated.
Coworkers come into the quality lab to talk to me often, I get little compliments or just see how the respect/regard they show towards me. Its pretty cool. I can honestly say that Ive been trying to indirectly improve morale through my positive behavior, work ethic and willingness to help that I think its affecting things and others are simply gravitating to that grounded strength I choose to portray. Things are just better when you do the work with a good attitude, take accountability, give praise when earned, be willing to help always, never complain and express gratitude even when things are difficult.
Listening to Regon first the last few weeks definitely caused more past memories to surface, I ended this cycle with Arete first but the emotional state ive experienced this last month has been much more calm and manageable. The same memory/time has been showing up a lot and im not sure what the message is but instead of being intrusive or provoking a negative effect, it just kind of lingers in the background. Regeneration definitely helps contain things so you can introspection safely without feeling chaotic. Ive never been so calm and grounded overall in my life until this stack. I just wish it was easier or more intuitive when it comes to actively processing memories that show up and stay, I often ask myself why this specific scenario or situation of the past is here but I never seem to get anywhere so maybe its just a me issue.
Still working 6 - 7 days a week, I feel a lot more detached this month as if im disconnected from feeling the âstressâ or burden of life. Id say my action taking is almost on auto-pilot as I dont really get that inner indecision/hesitation anymore. I just realize theres something that needs done and I execute, my mind feels more clean, less cluttered with doubt or fear about things. I guess im becoming streamlined mentally. I cant complain about anything really, even the issues im working on are slowly improving so theres nothing to be unhappy about. Patience really helps and boosts inner peace. Times when I would get impatient, I could see a noticeable drop in peace within myself so now im careful not to let myself get impatient, after all what are we rushing for. The faster we live life, the sooner we arrive at death.
Couple things I need more work on
Profanity. @Fire Can you increase the Anti-Profanity scripting in Gentlemanâs Speech? Or make another module that cuts filthy language from a person? I need something stronger! Please 
Passion. Things I need to do, I do on auto-pilot. Theres not much enthusiasm, fire 
or passion within me. I feel lackluster, almost like I live dutifully but without vigor. Im curious how I can invoke more passion into my life. (All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy)
Love. This kind of relates to aliveness/passion but not entirely. I feel like I have a shallow well that is drained quickly. I dont feel like theres enough Love. Not for myself or others. I notice that ill see a situation where I could help but then ill start feeling defensive as if my subconscious is saying, we dont have enough to spare, protect yourself first and dont give yourself away. Definitely need to address this, living like Christ with a servants heart takes amazing strength and requires a deep, deep well of Goodwill and Love 
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Washout
