Geoff's Journal - Reflections of a Hero

[Geoff]

I finally saw the physical therapist that specializes in PRI yesterday. Wow, what I found out is crazy. Im all out of whack and finally understand why Ive been struggling for the past 25+ years. Why exercise hurts, why I sleep 8 hours and not feel rested, why my jaw tension and clenching continues ect.

I’ll share a short summary from my first evaluation.

"Consultation provided.

Clinical Impression:

Client presents with a chronic, longstanding mixed integrative postural pattern with multi-zone involvement. Objective findings reveal asymmetric rotational capacity across all three postural zones (pelvis, thorax, cranio-cervical), consistent with a mixed/non-standard pattern rather than a classic single-pattern presentation:

• Pelvis/lower extremity: Right rotation bias (easier right trunk rotation; bilateral hip adduction restriction, left > right per Ober’s Test); consistent with anterior pelvic tilt and bilateral hip external rotation posture as observed
• Thorax/shoulder: Left lateralized pattern (left shoulder horizontal abduction greater than right; left rib wall protruded and rigid; right rib wall wider and more supple - atypical for standard pattern); right accessory respiratory strategy identified with right pec minor/scalene recruitment for inhalation
• Cranio-cervical: Left lateralized restriction (OA-GPT restricted bilaterally, left > right; upper cervical rotation relatively preserved); cranial asymmetry noted (wider left face, narrower left palate) consistent with mixed cranial pattern and chronic respiratory bias
• Palatal asymmetry and bruxism history suggest dental/occlusal contribution to cranial and airway mechanics
• Non-restorative sleep, stomach sleeping, and shallow/rapid breathing on waking are consistent with sleep-related breathing dysfunction and elevated accessory respiratory muscle demand

Key clinical relationships identified:

• Right coracoid/pec minor symptoms likely driven by chronic right accessory respiratory recruitment rather than isolated musculoskeletal strain
• Bilateral shoulder internal rotation and horizontal abduction restriction consistent with thoracic cage orientation and respiratory mechanics
• Cervical rotation restriction (OA-GPT) responsive to both footwear sensory input and breathing intervention, confirming ascending (foot-to-pelvis-to-neck) and respiratory contributions
• Mixed postural pattern (pelvis right, thorax/neck left) indicates body is not in a standard two-pattern presentation; integrative postural therapy approach warranted over standard PRI protocol alone
• Footwear and insert change produced immediate, measurable improvement in hip mobility, shoulder rotation, and cervical rotation - confirming sensory grounding as a viable entry point for treatment."

This is a direct result of Paragon, namely -

Healing Inner Circle

Supports you in naturally attracting the right healthcare providers, healing modalities, support systems, and resources for your specific recovery needs. Not through force or desperation, but through the subtle alignment that occurs when your clarity about what you need meets the availability of appropriate support.

In practice, this means the right doctor appears at the right time, you hear about treatments that prove effective, you encounter people who have navigated similar healing journeys, and resources align in ways that feel synchronistic. Healing becomes supported by a web of appropriate care rather than isolated struggle.

Ive noticed the above feature along with the following two the most.

Core Mend

Guides your system to automatically direct healing resources to wherever they are most needed in each moment — prioritizing the most pressing issues first, then systematically addressing underlying patterns as acute concerns resolve. You don’t need to consciously direct this process; your body’s intelligence handles the triage.

This ensures that your healing efforts are always optimally allocated, that nothing critical is neglected while you focus elsewhere, and that recovery proceeds in the most efficient sequence possible. Trust that your body knows which battles to fight first. And more!

Health Trisync

Addresses the integration of physical, emotional, and energetic aspects of healing — recognizing that tension held in tissue often carries emotional content, that chronic pain can have psychological dimensions, and that true healing requires addressing all three domains simultaneously.

This holistic approach supports release of trauma stored in the body, resolution of psychosomatic patterns, and the kind of deep healing that addresses not just what hurts but why it began hurting in the first place. Recovery becomes comprehensive rather than fragmented.

If I wasnt using Paragon, I dont think I would have ever found out about Postural Restoration (PRI) nor actually sought it out. I am so hyped to know I can actually fix these issues and live a normal, pain free life and actually sleep well and get jacked!

This has been an absolutely amazing stack for me. Regeneration helps my emotional development, Hero/Glm custom builds the internal mindset and foundation and Paragon helps my physical. I really cant even express how much things have changed in the past 6 months and in so many ways. My mindset is SO much different now, my perception has improved greatly. Resilience, understanding and the openness to living life…my commitment to becoming a better me is crazy good. The level of Discipline and Consistency in my daily life is impressive even though to me it ‘seems’ normal or even effortless now but its the new way of life. I can’t credit any one title or module but I have to give myself and my subconscious mind credit for somehow picking the perfect titles and modules that have done so well for me. I really dont feel like I need any other archetype subs. Hero + Glm is absolutely beautiful and I feel so aligned with my custom.

Things just keep getting better but with the physical therapy, its just getting started and I’m so ready.

Work wise, Its been better for me at least since that coworker was cut. The other shift has been playing spite games because they didnt get thier way but thats thier problem. I find myself crushing projects, overachieving some days and genuinely enjoying what I do.

Personal life is empty, by choice. I have no ‘friends’ but know enough people. I pursue nothing romantically though I do notice occasional interest from random women when I am out but I have no interest. I have come to realize that the majority of people have no interest in bringing value, its only to consume yours, so I am not interested. I genuinely believe a women (in today’s world) is a complete waste of my time and I mean that respectfully. Since this stack I have lost 90% of my sexuality. I might have the urge to release every 6 weeks on average but Im working on going longer. The modules in my custom have helped immensely with de-sexualization. I work 6 to 7 days a week if available and that keeps me from idleness as well. I have a lot of peace in general in my life and I honestly can say that I do not feel lonely.

Im devoted to myself first but open to being kind, helpful and charitable but in order to be of service to other, I must first re-make myself and thats exactly the path I am now now.

[Geoff]

Fri

Listening day 25

Arete - 14 min

Regon - 9 min

Things are moving forward in a good way. I changed insoles for my shoes and already noticed some positive changes. I re committed myself to breathwork, added a second app and am focusing on triangle breathing more now after reasonable box breathing.

Sleep has improved slightly, not much but enough to notice a change and I’ll take it for now. My dedication and consistency has been rock solid. I volunteer for all the overtime at work, work 6 days to 7 days a week the past 3 months. I follow my routine 95% of the time and I’ve seen a lot of progress.

The more simple my life gets, the happier and content I feel. Glm steadies, Hero directs and guides properly. The biggest factor in success for me is Consistency. Simple concept, was always a struggle for me, I’d give up or quit or justify against it in my younger years and looking back its no shock to me why I accomplished so little. Fast forward to now and its amazing what having it does for ones life.

Romans 10:10

KJV

10 For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.

I feel incredibly focused and dedicated with my Faith as well. The belief gets stronger and stronger and with Hero Im able to represent my beliefs more powerfully with stronger conviction expressing through behavior. I’m more interested in modeling Christ through righteous behavior, strong and loving action and compassionate support than being preachy. I do believe I was led to subclub so that I could become a better man. Never pursuing the titles with vain intentions but using one’s that would honor my walk and get me where I need to be. I still want to see a Christ archetype subliminal as theres not enough customs to cover all angles but for now I am doing quite well.

Improved relationships whether with son, family, coworkers and neighbors. My overall interactions have improved.

My diet is the best its ever been. Really clean, simple foods and much better calorie ratios. Zero cravings, binge ect

Mindset is strong, masculine, uplifting and positive with a steady calmness to it. Im always UP for a challenge, always willing. Discipline is on point, I prioritize doing the hardest thing first everyday and its amazing how the rest of the day goes when you do that. I feel this lowkey inspiring energy everyday and I credit that to Carpe Diem Ascended and Synergy: Winner Overdrive, its a crazy good feeling and Ive come to really value it.

Physically I’ve gained some muscle but until I get untwisted and realigned Im not expecting much. My pants are always quite loose too and I want to get new sizes but im not at my goal weight yet. Im so hyped about my physical potential now that its becoming clear why I never could make any real progress before. Im looking forward to big changes.

The one area I still need to dedicate more effort into is love. The Virtues have been blooming for me, Ive been more open lately but if I dont like something or someone then things kind of shut off. I struggle with acceptance, tolerance and the willingness to ‘live and let live’ when it affects me. I can be intense and when I disagree, I come off…well not good. Too many goals. I plan on swapping out Regon for Spartan and going hard on the Physical after future PRI success but I also want to develop inner love, for myself and humanity as that is a very big parts of Christ’s Will that I am falling short of. Id love to see a Multi-stage Christ Archetype sub that one stage is all about cultivating a pure, strong and righteous love just like The Lord has for all of us. I think the Virtues would be so much stronger in thier expression within me if I spent more time with Love titles. I’ll do both, the question is what first…I do want to get my body right moreso if im being honest.

Patience is a virtue, heh

[Geoff]

[Geoff]

“Because there is very little honor left in American life, there is a certain built-in tendency to destroy masculinity in American men.” -Norman Mailer

[Geoff]

Romans 13:8 (KJV)

“Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.”

Simple, not easy. Its a daily struggle. Putting away judgement, contempt, resentment. Actively forgiving, embracing compassion and nurturing connection. To live in Love is one of the hardest states to cultivate. It takes unbelievable effort to not let myself be triggered daily let alone meet this standard.

Even with my custom, all the Virtues…Its amazing to look at myself and understand just how ‘not good enough’ I am.

[Geoff]

Fri

Listening day 26

Arete - 15 min

Regon - 12 min

Things keep moving forward and things keep going well. I start my whole week off from work tonight. Going to stay productive and accomplish stuff. Got my PRI appointment coming this week, excited to finish the evaluation and get things start. Ive been implementing changes given since last time and Ive already seen improvements. As my body untwists my pain goes down, I get a little more flexible, my mood/behavior stabilize/improve and I become a more fruitful human being. Its showing, I see/feel it.

I think my aura has been stronger this week too. People at work has been increasingly drawn to me. Im usually in the background like I like it however im being sought out much more. Sub aura + retention is something else. Most days I feel the way someone running khan black would feel but ill never use that sub personally. Ive been celibate by choice since late 2019 and stopped dating after that relationship ended. Since starting Hero, Ive been slowly committing to not masturbating anymore, changing the story about sexuality in my mind and life. I started out going about 6 weeks between releases but I was never striving to hit a goal, just noting the time between. I am currently over that now and between the internal energy, nervous system healing and subs my vibe is just great. I couldnt be more pleased with my pursuit of self mastery.

I dont really understand guys pursuit of females anymore. They dont seem worth anything to me but thats just me. Ive cultivated such a self-sustained state of living that I no longer need any external energy from others. Everything seems to come to me at some point though when it comes to females I feel this internal aversion inside and I think that energy is reflected out which isnt really a bad thing per se but does prevent me from possible experiences. Im just very much protecting my peace, I dont want to risk losing what ive built for myself, not for anyone.

The internal mastery from Glm is so smooth. I can tell that I give off this sort of gravity energy that people just want to be around. I think that calm, safe container energy from this and Hero is irresistible to people who are unsettled, erratic or lost. I keep getting into conversations where the dynamic is them saying stuff and I share piece of advice or explain back to them thier own words and they feel acknowledged and it helps them in some way. It keeps happening.

Im not 100% sure but I keep picking up on my craniosacral therapist subtly flirting with me. She’ll say something that has plausible deniability or a double meaning, or apply touch in a way thats suggestive but not overt. I could be over thinking it but I think the signs are there. Shes attractive but I honestly feel a little annoyed by it instead of flattered because it just like an unnecessary weight was put on me. Another thing to be aware of and possibly deal with. Seems like the less you’re interested in something, the more IT pursues. Im experiencing small forms of abundance from people.

Things are good and will continue to get better. 4 more loops then washout.

[Geoff]

Masculinity is not something given to you, but something you gain. And you gain it by winning small battles with honor. -Norman Mailer

[Geoff]

“When justice is denied, instincts turn to vengeance.”

– Anonymous

[Geoff]

Fri

Listening day 27

Arete - 15 min

Regon - 15 min

What can I say, things are good overall. Ive become so much less emotionally affected that sometimes I think something is wrong. Im not used to a quiet mind or a peaceful state but Im slowly accepting my new normal. I learned a lot more about my body this week at PT, had my mouthguard modified and doing the specific exercises consistently. I have yet to notice a change in the brain fog but I have with tension, soreness, exercise ability ect.

I lost that tense, driven motivation I had. At first I was sad but now I realize it wasnt actually motivation rather a stimulated and distressed nervous system manifesting in a way that I thought was a good thing. Made some decent changes to my home environment and Ive worked on accepting rest as necessary. When I have things to do, the execution is almost automatic. I dont hesitate or have a bunch of thoughts show up. My routines are locked in and its great. I feel so much less stressed overall and the small wins I see keep me hyped. The first half of this year has been of great effect to me, I hope the rest goes well too.

Im not sure if its subs, my nervous system or just aging but Ive really lost interest in most things, and people. Ive had some stuff from the past come up randomly again, its funny Ill say to myself, didnt I let that go already…must need a recommitment or something. To be mostly unbothered is a gift. I think, at least lately that Im getting down to where my past really isnt affecting me much and the sense of freedom is delightful. I used to feel so frozen up, so stuck and I never thought Id get to the point of feeling free and here I am. I am looking forward to getting that Grind season disciplined motivation back though but before that happens, rest, recovery and regeneration must be achieved.

[Geoff]

Its gotta be regeneration thats got me feeling so…empty. I mean most days my minds almost thoughtless, no real internal strife at all. It kind of feels like something is wrong, or its like im trying to find a reason for why im so at peace/disengaged.

Its challenging for me to accept how ive been as good or normal. I dont know why, its like I expect to feel right/complete when im at peace and not empty but if this state isnt it then idk.

I was shopping earlier and just took time to notice people. Theres is hardly any objectively “healthy” people anymore. Im moving through the store feeling calm and stoic just observing , feeling a detached sadness for the state of humanity. So much unnecessary suffering. A lack of knowledge and a lack of will to change. I could feel some people’s nervous systems dysfunction, that high stress vibe people emanate. I used to be like that, it was an uncomfortable ‘energy’.

More and more I understand its less about things, the world, accumulation and more about inner development. We grow up and let the outside tell us everything and we listen to our detriment. Then some of us wake up and start the process of reversal to claim back whats left of ourselves and lives while the rest move forward ever so slowly to ignorant destruction.

[Geoff]

A man must constantly exceed his level.

[Geoff]

I wore my modified mouthguard to neurofeedback on monday for first time. Repeated training sites, ended up feeling much more impact which was awesome. Since monday Ive had a much more positive mood than usual and a strong bloom of gratitude.

Ive been thinking about how utterly amazing it is to have running water . Ive gone without and it sucks. I start mentally running through all I have personally and also have access to and its absolutely insane how blessed I am.

I cant relate to my coworkers complaining. I feel completely UNrelatable to people these days. I am loving the bloom and who I am lately. I think my pursuit of proper biomechanics is increasing subliminal effects and expressions.

I am quite appreciative for my existence even with all the obstacles and limitations I face, the problems I have to solve and the work that needs done. I now look at everything from a lens of fufilling opportunity instead of a burden.

I remember Denzel Washington talking about how he learned to take everything in life, good or bad as an opportunity, to learn, overcome and grow. Jocko willink also would always says “Good” to whatever others would tell him, good or bad. I love that and incorporate the principle as best I can in my own life. The mindset of my custom is amazing.

[Geoff]

Fri

Listening day 28

Arete - 15 min

Regon - 15 min

Even though air quality is unhealthy/hazardous here because of wildfire smoke from Canada, its been a beautiful few days. Even though my employer called off my shift yesterday, today and canceled weekend OT, its been a great week. Im finally tackling issues with my house that ive avoided for years. A lot of things ive been straight attacking. I want nothing more than to master myself and master my environment.

I realize I dont want a soft life, I never did but its really come full circle in my mind. Some workers earlier this week were talking about central air and how they cant live without it. I said I only have ceiling fans and own one box fan, my house is about 86 degrees daily. They couldn’t believe it. Is it comfortable? No. Can I deal with it? Yes. I’ll be damned if I ever waste $ on an air conditioner for my home, that shit is for the effeminate.

Been outside digging trenches, cutting tree roots in the heat. I can hardly turn on my TV. If I find a YouTube video that I am curious about, I get annoyed I have to watch it and most of the time it wasnt worth watching after its finished. I feel totally zoned in on action. Power of Sacrifice is a seriously cool module. Its got me taking inventory of my life, habits and what I spend my time on and seeing what gets me closer to my goals and what doesnt. The things that push me further away from achievement I feel a strong desire to drop them, and I do.

Everyday things get a little better. Recently ran labwork and everything is moving in the right direction, some more than others but I am dialing things in. Free testosterone jumped 25 points over the high end range lol, beast mode confirmed. Was able to pinpoint another issue and now I understand exactly what to do the rest of the year. Gratitude blooms, consistency feels stronger than ever. Most days I feel like a machine as whatever I have to do is executed without thought, without emotion and without hesitation. Even if I am tired or not feeling great, I do it energy. The best part…I never regret doing it anyways.

Today is 60 days of unintentional retention. Running my custom + conscious guidance towards righteous behavior and purity + reading The Bible everyday has allowed me to transmute the weakness of being human into divine discipline. Gratitude life is better when you kill your weaknesses.

[Geoff]

Faith is the confirmation of things we do not see and the conviction of thier reality, perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses.

[Geoff]

Pain now, peace later, or pleasure now, pain later.

[Geoff]

Fri

Listening day 29

Regon - 15 min

Arete - 15 min

Its been non stop this week. My days are a series of Thoughts → Actions → Results. I was thinking back to my previous stacks, previous journals. I wrote a lot, had much to complain about ect. The longer I go with this stack, the less there is to say. I literally have gained so much inner peace that there is not much of anything to say anymore. No drama, hardly any thoughts about past traumatic experiences, rare anxiety if at all.

Ive been making big changes to my home environment, its been hard work but well worth it. Everything I seem to be doing naturally have a positive impact. Theres no self destructive tendencies anymore, no self sabotage or wallowing in victim mentality at all. Everything I do is aimed at one goal…getting better. I also have entirely lost the idea of comparison. I am my own standard now, others dont affect me like in the past. Im becoming such a self contained unit. Pure “me” as everything else is stripped away. My inner voice and character are on point. As weird as this sounds, it feels good to exist. I never used to feel that way but now I do.

[Geoff]

Fri

Listening day 30

Regon - 15 min

Arete - 15 min

Last week I listen to Regon first compared to Arete. I had an increase in recon symptoms most of this week. Mentally, a lot of resentment, hesitation, guarding/armouring was tackled. There was more memories from the past coming up, more analyzing and more acceptance of things. Its been a productive week, regeneration definitely took the stage this week.

I forgot to mention last week that I finished neurofeedback. It was agreed upon that unless anything bad happened or I regressed symptomatically that I dont need to come in. Its been two weeks and Im feeling good. I have my next Pri appointment next week, things are moving in the right direction.

In July I accomplished some good goals. Adressing issues with my living space/house was big. I had procrastinated and avoided doing it for years. I have started making a list of projects to not only fix but improve my environment. This year I have really invested in me. Its all internal based. Im truly learning to master myself and my environment. My dedication to myself is inspiring.

Work is going well. Im going back for work training in a few weeks for an advanced class after completing the basic back in June. I actually received some positive praise from my boss and thats rare to hear. I wasnt even looking for any.

I bought my son his first car, it’ll be a surprise. Months ago I would not have done that. I seemed to have changed in a big way. Theres much less resistance in me that used to get in the way of any action I wanted to take. Im more open and giving too, even with my time and attention not just material things. Im much less consumption minded too. I was never materialistic but my desire for external things has dropped dramatically since using this stack. Im more concerned with my character, who I choose to be everyday than anything else.

I will say though, Ive noticed a lot of thoughts and subtle urges to travel. Its been with me a month or two. I havent been on a vacation I planned ever. And no family vacations in 10 years, so this new desire is interesting. It relates to that new openness Ive been experiencing. Im not closed off from traumatic experiences anymore.

The past week also Ive suddenly wanted to buy a small motorcycle. A scrambler, café racer type bike. Nothing crazy but that sense of freedom, travel, experience seems to be searching for an avenue of expression. In many ways I feel like I am coming back from the dead and wanting to engage again. Its pretty cool. I dont have enough to buy the bike outright due to my money going to a vehicle for my son but I cant help but think why not both. The bike is on clearance and even if financed, itd be paid off by next spring. Im honestly thinking about doing it. Ive always deprived myself out of scarcity, fear or self hate in the past. I struggle to justify things and this is no different but we’ll see.

Ive become very settled in myself thanks to Glm. The Joy scripting is a real gift, the past two days have been a real nice bloom. Theres a few coworkers that seem to gravitate towards me and one even told me last night that they feel good around me and even used the word safe which I took as an energetically secure state. And I do feel secure these days and thats such a blessing.

Ive lost a solid 4lbs this month as well. I go longer between meals automatically and when I do eat, portions are smaller. Seems like Virtue Series: Temperance along with Glm is affecting this side of things. I do think Virtue Series: Patience is finally expressing, Ive noticed the impatience as recon months ago has settled. I do much better now, coupled with the detachment from Glm, Im much better at dealing with things outside my control.

Consistency has been the biggest key for me. It doesnt matter what you do for one day or two. Consistent action, good or bad will get you where you’re trying to go. Ive dropped so many bad habits, vices and impulses over the years, most before subs but not all. Virtue Series: Diligence, Glm and Power of Sacrifice have helped so much. Ardent Light is the cherry on top. I absolutely love this module for purity mindedness. I wouldnt have completely stopped masturbating 2 months ago without it.

Things are good and staying good. Im alive again and moving forward, and it feels good. This is how you become better, the right titles that align with you, consistency, action and patience.

[Geoff]

Fri

Listening day 31

Regon - 15 min

Arete - 15 min

Man, what a week. Regon first continues to bring on a bit more emotional recon than expected. Its manageable for sure but can make some days harder than they have to be.

I finally received my son’s car I bought him earlier this week, been getting things ready for tomorrow when I surprise him with it. Im actually pretty excited which is unusual for me as Id be more worried about other things instead of focusing on the positive. I feel like im doing the right thing, strongly and thats what keeping me going in all things.

I tried getting a small motorcycle last week but the salesman refused to remove certain fees even though it did not reflect the true cost of the bike, so I let it go. Im actually quite pleased with myself for how much stronger within myself I was, rather than letting him dictate the conversation. I felt pretty rooted and wasnt interested in the games.

This past week and even last week, since putting Regon before Arete, I seem to lost the desire to ask others about themselves. Im becoming one sided in brief conversations. Part of me feels its rude and I get a little guilty about it. Another part of me recognizes that my old way of social investment was rooted in insecurity, low self worth and people pleasing, so to no longer ask others questions seems like a weird win. I have to accept that not actively ‘chasing’ through communication isnt rude but more a newly healthy boundary that must be embraced. Trying to cultivate a loving heart while also building strong boundaries is proving a bit chaotic for me as I work my way through refining experiences and settling on the proper amount of depth/effort for each situation.

Physically things with PRI are moving in a positive way, breathing is improving, range of motion has improved in all areas and Im onto a next exercise set. I continue to feel grateful for all the opportunities to improve.

[Geoff]

Gave my son his first car, it went well. I felt good about it, hes 18 today. Ive been reflecting on the last 18 years, looking at how I was and how Ive grown over the years. Its truly amazing, the level of change Ive gone through and how much of a better person Ive become. I can see that my son likes the ‘new’ me as well, he reaches out more often, unprompted when before Id go months without a text/call. Im a lot more patient, kind and ‘parental’ minded. I was a lot more detached years ago and thats on me but this custom has installed some really grounded thinking and cultivated a nice masculine aura that I think my son appreciates in a guidance sense.

Since switching up the listening order, my physical drive has faded and been replaced with a strong preoccupation with rest. I was all about starting Spartan the end of September but now Ive backed off on exercise. I still ruck every morning but the rest of it fell off, not even consciously. My body just isnt ready for it. Doing Pri work alongside mouthguard, my body is untwisting and moving toward neutral positioning. My nervous system is recalibrating and when I started feeling relief from Pri the first time, it was an almost immediate off switch of that hard-core, vigilant mindset I had. All that tension built up, keeping me ‘on’ dropped and ever since Ive been on this rest mode. I still execute daily. I finished one home project Sunday aside from some clean up. I still work 6 to 7 days a week but that highly tense, motivated state is gone and I think its a positive thing overall. Im just wondering when Ill reach the point of wanting to work out. Its laziness as much as it is a signal of health, ready to move.

To be honest, the past two weeks my moods been a tad off. Not negative but tired, full capacity type of vibe. That light, joyous mindset is underneath the tiredness. Its a strange type, whole body/mind tiredness that sleep doesnt fix. Im saving up for a new bed which I should have by end of month. Hopefully that helps as I dont think ive ever had sleep that felt refreshing, regenerative or fully rested in my life.

When I rebuild my Arete custom, I might just use Peace alongside it. To further support the direction I seem to be going in. Everything I do daily seems to follow along trend. It all seems to moving me toward a peaceful, solo, low stress life. A lot of self investment, finally putting all the energy I have, back into me and my life. It all feels right, no more wasting time or energy.

[Geoff]

Fri

Listening day 32

Regon - 15 min

Arete - 15 min

Its been interesting. The quest for improved health is going strong. Emotionally ive been changing, especially the past 3 weeks. Embracing a less rigid, more accepting state especially towards the external but also with myself. I started off resisting myself and the slow change from hard discipline and relentless pursuits to this deep need for rest that I consciously labeled as laziness.

Using Regon first the last few loops has definitely reprioritized the slow and safe side. Ive been noticing a mild shift towards the parasympathetic side. Breathing, movement and my default state of existing is more calm overall. Even today where I was rushed and stressed at work the past 4 hours, I was not overwhelmed physically like I use to be. I still feel a sense of urgency and move to get things done but it feels more conscious than physical in effect which is great.

Sleep continues to be average, I keep waking up 2 to 3 hours early and not getting into phase 2 rem which has been reflected in my cognitive performance for a long time but overall much better than 3rd shift and earlier this year.

I find myself open to to things more but at the same time have become selective that there really isnt much worth doing. I entertain the idea of things like traveling but realistically the world is breaking down and I wont bother. Entertainment has lost 90% effect on me too. Its difficult to even turn on the TV. I hardly use my laptop as well. Im either producing value for myself, improving myself and home or working. The world has largely lost its appeal and I really like that. “Friendship with the world is enmity with God” so I feel strongly that I am on the right path. Lately to be honest I find myself wanting to simply become more like Jesus. To cut myself away from the world and live through the Spirit. I find most things and most people mundane. Im starting to notice that in a way, nothing is real. What I mean is its hollow, has no substance. Almost everything is a trick, trap or scam. This world/life is literally a prison and entertainment is designed to distract you so you die in ignorance with no hope of ever escaping. I cant be bothered anymore with the world. Chasing material vanity, money, females ect.

Hero/Glm has really helped me cultivate a simplistic mindset. The more I cut out of my life, the happier I become. I value mastery so much since Hero. Im taking a 2nd class for work training next week so I can become better at what I do. I get compliments from my boss more often than one would expect but I dont do things for any reason other than its the right thing to do and the proper way to be. Things are going great and I wouldn’t have it any other way.