“A final note on what distinguishes HERO Origins from the Chosen series: HERO Origins offers a more flexible path to heroism. Unlike the Chosen series, which focuses on developing charisma and leadership, HERO Origins centers exclusively on your own development. The journey it offers is highly individualistic, placing strong emphasis on physical prowess while also nurturing your inner life. Whether you opt to supplement it with our other offerings is entirely up to you. But rest assured, HERO Origins offers a unique experience, dedicated to sculpting both your inner and outer self into a hero.”
I was skimming through Hero looking to see how many objectives Ive experienced. Looking at the list, I couldn’t see one objective I consciously noticed expressing in my life. That doesnt none have, rather im unaware of it.
I do think Hero has been the reason I feel strongly about being thorough, accurate and complete with my job. I dont shortcut anything and seem to feel strongly about. I also think my job is my craft in relation to Hero, there is an overt sense of dedication at work. Im eager and focused on my tasks, invested if you will. Even with tiredness and brain fog, I keep trying even if im glitching or confused.
Besides that, I havent seen much else but am grateful for what is expressing. Hero is one hell of a transformative title, ive barely scratched the surface. I just think im overwhelmed and need sleep for processing. By starting washout today, I have 2 weeks until Feb. I think itll help.
As far as Rom & Ros, Ive seen more objectives accomplished with Rom than the others and of course Ros has no objectives but I recognize things in the sales page that ive experienced. Im not sure what the goal is anymore. I think it was to explore self and the modules I added to custom were to intensify and support my pursuit of Spirituality and Truth, Im not sure its taking me that direction. If I do stick with this stack going forward, I should slim down this custom to under 10 modules.
I wonder if its Ros that has me feeling so disturbed/unsettled from an inner identity stand point. If ive lost my footing/foundation so to speak, wouldnt that support moving off center from what I originally intended. If my sense of self is in limbo then it would make sense that I fell off with the Bible and focusing on that knowledge.
The recent pursuit of music, while pleasing in the moment bothers me. It feels to me, that Im being drawn back into the world/worldliness which feels wrong. I started feeling like listening to all the 90s stuff was questionable and if it was really okay to do. In the context of “Friendship with the world is enmity with God” and being cautious about falling back into things Ive been set apart from. Music is a form of expression but also influence and maybe its my custom but I tend to pay more attention to the msg in the songs and also wonder why some songs affect me over others. Since binging on music, I noticed mood dropped, negative memories flowed in and I started thinking negatively.
Theres just things I dont like about how Im feeling on this stack. I wish I could isolate and identify what the issues are and where there coming from. Growth is always challenging and can be unpleasant in its reconciliation with faulty ideology but where is the understanding when it comes to knowing if this trajectory is correct for one or not. Is the desire to stop coming from logic or irrational thinking based on faulty beliefs seeking self preservation. Why did negative thinking just come back, what am I really doing. Looking for excuses to avoid growth and sabotage progress? Or am I coming to a legitimate conclusion that I am struggling in life and need a break while seeing a lack of overt results and the increasing distance between things I value and what im actually doing.
I feel guilt when I think about quitting stack. I feel resentment when contemplating continuing on. Super unhelpful dichotomy.
