Geoff’s Journal - Glm + LotS + LD

Journals - Major Programs
#72

Had an awesome workout earlier before work. Now that I’m at work, I’ve been doing split leg squats using the chair I used to sit in, lol.

The mindset Glm is helping me build is so awesome. Emotional discipline is A+, I’ve needed this sub more than I ever realized.

I’ve been a depressed, angry, trauma filled beta baby for the past what…20 years +. It feels good to be on the right track.

I was never good at push ups, I had so much tension in my body from childhood trauma, hypervigilance and B.S. that exercise just didn’t do much or made things worse.

About 3 weeks-ish ago I was doing 10 decent push ups. Now today I hit 13 push-ups with great form, full scapula protraction/contraction. So things are improving. (I’m basically starting from zero)

I’ve gone from shaking/barely getting 30 second hollow body holds to about 2 mins now with added moves with legs during hold.

Weighed myself earlier and I was 145lbs. Not a huge drop but I’m putting on muscle too. I’m actually planning on going low carb next week to see how it goes.

Mood: Strong Optimism :muscle:

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#73

I think I got off Ascension and/or GLM too soon.
Will be running one or both more.

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#74

1:30am - Thursday

Glm - 3 mins and LotS - 3 mins.

I almost forgot it was my listening day. Things are just going great. I want to run Ascension and Spartan, I keep going back and forth but ultimately I ask myself why. Results are great right now, recon is low. I just seem to want more while realizing I’m right where I’m supposed to be.

The efficiency of a 2 sub stack outweighs a 3 sub stack in my opinion. Two loops a week yields better results than every other day. In my limited experience so far. I had a custom all made, sitting in my cart for weeks and I just don’t feel I need it right now. The more time I give this stack, the stronger I get (mindset) and the urgency for the custom wanes.

Momentum vs. Rushing. Luther expressed what I was experiencing well on his journal by my question. I think we easily get caught up in running titles thinking it’ll solve our problems asap. Time and growth…sticking to a stack, any stack for many cycles will do more than running 9 subs in 3 stacks for a few cycles. I personally don’t like the “try everything” approach. Figure out your needs, identify the subs that will address things you struggle with, listen, take action and commit. Voytek understands, his “missing links” approach is right on.

I think patience is a lost art in today’s world. I could always use more patience.

@Palpatine which one did you enjoy more, ascension or glm. Was it difficult differentiating between the two in your stack?

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#75

I honestly can’t say as I’ve never run them apart from each other. I like the overall effect from them together, though.

I stacked them with EoG1, and can’t point yet to many things from EoG1, as money is a deep issue for me I think.

But with even just Ascension and GLM, I got more “alpha”(?)

Walking different, strengthening and exercising my will more. Meaning I set a goal then go do it. I say I’ll do something, then I go do it.

Got more attention from this girl I call Annabelle on forum…where we didn’t talk a lot before, then she suddenly was going out of her way to say hi to me. (She works at the grocery store).

I’ve also never run GLM by itself before. I’d always stacked it with Commander prior. (Search “steak dinner equalizer” haha).

Now i’m wondering what Ascension, GLM, Commander would be like…

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#76

This? Hmm…I understand the “amping up” feeling. I’ve been calling it internal hype but I guess we are saying the same thing. So Glm definitely amps, and wether it’s commander or ascension, it only gets better from there :grinning:

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#77

Yeah. There’s a scene in the movie when Teddy/Nicolai is actually eating steak in a nice restaurant. Shortly after having done some gruesome stuff.

Here’s what I think(?) is my original entry Le Journal de Palpatine™ (2021) - #590 by Palpatine

Another bit from the movie, but with Robert McCall (Denzel) doing what must be done

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#78

Man, after my neurofeedback session Friday, I feel like I’ve gone backwards. Irritating, now I have to wait until Friday to fix it.

Dopamine seeking behaviors
Broke no fap (four times today)
Bought outshine fruit bars for a junk food fix (could be worse)
Shit motivation for productivity and exercise.
Lower mood/emotional immaturity, borderline victim mindset vibe.

I’m forcing myself to do some lifts, half ass is better than nothing. This weekend just feels uphill. Weak mindset since I woke up Saturday. I felt awesome last week and now I’m here…pissed. even my muscles feel sore yet I’ve hardly worked out since Friday.

I doubt this is reconciliation as it all started after therapy, unless the brain wave training facilitated some thing that opened up all this crappy stuff.

Man, I just want to rewind to last week. I only posted this crap for consistency and transparency. Don’t like making negative posts.

Maybe tomorrow’s loops will break this spiral.

#79

Workout done, moving myself out of this trash day. You won’t always feel good, that’s not an excuse. Just go through the motions and resist comfort and temptation as those do not move you forwards.

Pacification is weakness

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#80

3:10am - Monday

LotS - 5 mins and Glm - 5 mins.

Switched sub order today, probably doesn’t matter. Went to 5 mins over 3 just to see if the extra time would help break through the bullshit weekend I’ve had.

I find myself watching calisthenics videos and anything on masculinity. I’ve become a sponge. It’s funny being 38 and there are days I feel like a lost kid looking for a role model/father figure. Could be masculinity healing recon?

Some days I feel disempowered and make stupid choices, other days I feel on fire and empowered. The ebb and flow of life…

Weighed myself a few hours ago, 144.4lbs. Granted that’s not a dry weigh upon waking but I’m still heading in the right direction it seems.

I can’t think of any other goal that is more important other than building masculinity and becoming fit as it’s a reflection of my inner state and I’m tired of losing in life.

Went from 13 max to 14 push-ups, too much extra bodyweight is not helping. I need to get something for pull ups again. Strict 40 hrs at work has been screwing me for a month. No budget for shit but that’s another problem for another stack.

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#81

Just logging this here

5 mins of my paragon custom (balance) - Total impulsive loop.

I’ve had a shit headache the past few hours and overall feel less than optimal. Hope it helps

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#82

So I’m clear on this, you ran it because of the shit headache?
Or got the shit headache after running it?

I assume headache before, but assumptions tend to make an ass out of u and umption.

#83

I’ve had the headache for a few hours and decided to run a loop. I’ll edit the post too :slight_smile:

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#84

Sometimes you need to stop seeing the good in people and start seeing what they show you.

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#85

If you can survive your own thoughts, you can survive anything.

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#86

1 hour later and my headache went from a 5 to a 1. Impressed with and grateful for paragon :pray:

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#87

I’m becoming progressively bored, maybe dissatisfied is a better word.

My job feels less and less each day. My budget has dropped, no more OT. Glm has been good to me because I don’t spend anymore, I’m almost afraid to. I just Celebrated my 8 yr work anniversary and while I have some urge to find another job, the reality is there is no other company around me that pays what I make. Best if $4 to $5 less per hour. I’m feeling stuck and not sure how to elevate. If I didn’t have a house and child support maybe I’d risk a change. This situation makes me want to get into minds eye and manifesting to see if I can manifest better situations.

On the physical, I have not noticed any increase in facial hair growth or thickness but I’ll keep going. My pants are getting looser yet my weights gone up 1lb and I don’t look slimmer. It feels like LotS is going bottom to top because my legs look more shapely, more defined, I can see my quad muscles…that’s new and my waist is obviously slimmer because my pants sag. However belly and above is still subpar but I’m on low carb this week and so far nothing new.

I am incredibly dialed in when I do things, it’s machine like in action. But when I’m idle, it sucks, I feel like a powered down robot with no purpose. Maybe this and the boredom is a big sign but I’m not sure what else to do. I’m working on destroying every vice in my life (few left) working out and getting what needs done, done. Not much else and my life feels limited lately. I know the world is closing in on itself but I feel like I could do better yet I feel held back by circumstance, self created and external.

I wonder what’s next. The frustration below the surface is making itself known, energy is building but I don’t have a direction…

I guess the point of this thought purge is to say, keep going…opportunity will present itself. I’ve only just started.

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#88

1am - Thurs

Glm - 5 mins and LotS - 5 mins.

Keep feeling this push to make a change, do something. I’m exercising, doing neurofeedback, working ect. I’m not sure why I’m feeling a push yet have no sense of direction in which to apply energy. Life feels stagnant and limited yet I’m being productive with what I have.

The internal desire to be better is so high somedays that I have trouble honoring my rest days so I don’t over do it. Maybe this “push” is just impatience. I am feeling fed up and resentful with myself for living the way I have been for all this time. I look back and just see weakness and it pisses me off to see how I’ve wasted/squandered so much time but you don’t know what you didn’t know back then. The present is what matters and I’m on it.

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#89

I don’t recall, but do you have Rebirth, Regen or Limit Destroyer? One of those might help work on whatever is coming out.

#90

I have all 3. I used LD in the first cycle as you recommended.

I bought Rebirth but have no run it.

Regeneration I used before my DR run.

#91

I was planning on adding Ascension next cycle and just running that to winter or more. Do you think some other direction would be better

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