Geoff's Journal - Evolution

[Geoff]

At times no but when I think about it, yes. I’ve struggled this past cycle on wether it was the ‘right’ sub. However if given the chance, I really don’t know what other sub I would have included instead. I think most of the random doubt was/is reconciliation of old and weak beliefs.

I do think that Emperor is necessary for me. For ease of explanation, it feels like Love Bomb = Internal, Emperor = External. So without Emperor, I don’t think I’d be as outwardly expressive of my growth.

Admittedly, the romance scripting and wealth scripting are unimportant to me, but only because maturity, resilience, inner frame, boundaries and self empowerment are so sorely needed that all my focus is on that. I think that’s maybe where some doubt in using it comes from but I’ll only continue to benefit as I listen.

So yes, all in all I have to say this is the best custom I’ve made. By best, I mean the most impactful. I think Love Bomb and Emperor need each other in my case, one without the other would not yield the results I am getting.

[Jouissance]

Very cool to see you grow from when you first started here even being afraid of the masculinity scripting in Ascension, not wanting to express toxic masculinity traits.

If I’m getting that wrong let ,e know and I’ll delete it but I do recall your early days at SC and in general you’ve grown tremendously

[Geoff]

You’re right. I had no self worth and no sense of masculinity. I was afraid of using Ascension, thinking it would take my misunderstanding and ignorance of masculinity into negative/toxic expression.

Thank you for reminding me, it’s difficult sometimes to see how far we come. I appreciate the acknowledgement and kind words.

[Geoff]

There is a strong enthusiasm and vibration of positive energy within me. When I say "good morning’ to coworker, this child like joy radiates out with the words. It’s crazy how my words feel like a wave of posivity, I’m not sure if others feel it but I do. I carry this profound joy within me once reconciliation settles.

I swear I’m the only person I know or see who has any joy. My job satisfaction is up and I’m definitely more engaged with my work too. Compared to 6 months ago…I’ve really changed at work, and it’s all from mindset and inner growth. Truthfully, my job has become less fun due to management and new oppressive policies being introduced yet I seem to be rising above it (resilience? )

I put in a support ticket for this because I’m not sure where it’s coming from. It’s been a little over 3 weeks and I’ve been unintentionally on no fap. It’s like something just turned off lust and desire. At first I thought it had to do removing that narcissistic female I’ve mentioned, taking focus off that helped. I’ve looked at a few pictures a week ago but lost interest. Last night about half a video and just left it even though I did feel aroused, so I know it isn’t a physical issue. I’m quite pleased with this detachment from lust and desire. I’m quite content and radiating joy, so why would the urge for naked females and masturbation show up…kind of makes sense. But I asked support if Emperor or Love Bomb has anti-pmo scripting for the sake of clarity.

[Geoff]

Cycle 4

Sun

5:30am - Wtp - 7 mins

8:30pm - Evolution - 7 mins

Washout was enlightening, I’m definitely growing through everything I go through.

I woke up feeling existential and a little somber since listening to Wtp, but as soon as I listened to Evolution, I snapped out of it. Interesting effect, I wonder what is in Wtp to influence me like that. The last few days of washout I felt light and my cup had plenty of space but sat night seemingly randomly felt full. Could the anticipation of starting another cycle cause your mind to spool up scripting and fill your cup again without even listening.

There’s a lot of stress but I seem detached from it. Having awareness of stress, problems and worries but without the physiological manifestions. It helps when you can keep yourself from being concretely affected. Resilience to the rescue. Seems like I’ve been trying to figure out what’s next, what’s important and what’s worth putting effort into. My perception of value is changing. I went from seeing something and it’s associated feeling to gaugeing it’s utility and function. Discernment is increasing while using different standards by which to judge value, seems I’m on the right track.

[Geoff]

Weds

8am - Wtp - 7 mins

8pm - Evolution - 7 mins

The past 3 days, I’ve been in a more serious, mature mood. During washout I had so much joy and bliss, it felt borderline childish energy. But now, it’s all serious with a side of aloofness. Been pushing detox harder, feeling less energetic and enthusiastic but getting it done nonetheless.

I haven’t moved weight wise in awhile. No gains but no losses, I’m confused but not a huge priority right now. Massage therapy finally working, no pain in a week, so awesome.

Uneventful start to my 4th cycle but no doubt things will get stirred up in time, last cycle definitely worked me over. I was planning on working up to 9 mins this cycle but I feel heavy after listening tonight so it’s probably better to stay at 7.

[Geoff]

I’ve been feeling off all week. Most days I’m at a loss for words. I have this sense of panic going on in my psyche, I feel mentally unsettled, uncomfortable like once again my level of certainty has been challenged. I’m at a point right now where things are being questioned and it’s invoking fear.

Disillusionment…reality is starting to look like an illusion I’ve held onto for too long. It’s all under the surface and still to vague to explain let alone understand. Most is just intuitive states and feelings, inklings of coming breakthroughs in truth. A lot of beliefs about things, people, ideologies are falling apart and changing. What’s bad is that it presents like a crisis in my conscious mind.

This whole week has been serious in tone and mode. Aloof behavior, a little disengaged and less overall joy. I’m not unhappy but there’s a pervasive feeling of ‘bothered’ following me around. I’m on edge.

I’ve had damn near a headache everyday this week, not terrible but enough to cause discomfort. I get the sense I’m pushing detox too hard as well.

Confused and unclear this week. 4th cycle, I assume the honeymoon phase of subs has passed and we are getting deeper and processing things I’m not too aware of.

[RVconsultant]

What do you plan on your listening schedule for the next 10 days?

[Geoff]

Today is a listening day and then Wed. Only twice a week. I made an early neurofeedback appointment tomorrow to address this state change as last week’s session was around the same time I experienced this shift.

I don’t feel bad, just much less than I have been. Plenty of processing days. Don’t worry, I’ll figure this out.

[Geoff]

Sun

3am - Wtp - 7 mins

9pm - Evolution - 7 mins

Things have been flat. It’s been an uncertain week which rattled my foundation of all the things I felt confident in knowing/believing. The joyful bliss disappeared last week, I didn’t turn sad or angry but I’ve been in a weird flat aloofness.

I’m going to neurofeedback therapy tomorrow to see if my issues are related to training. It’s been an overt state change. Hopefully something changes and I feel more like myself again.

The idea of participation equals consent has been on my mind a lot. I’d hold a belief about something, complain about a situation yet I’d be participating. This feels like a WTP kind of lesson.

At work I’d feel a certain way about a coworker and think to myself I don’t want to interact with them, yet if an interaction started, I’d find myself participating.

If I don’t agree with something yet participate in it, what does that make me? I must be more focused on demonstrating my standards and values with my actions instead of saying or feeling things, complain about it then participate regardless. This gets you nowhere. It’s harder to do in the macro due to being victims of circumstance in the world as a whole but the micro…there’s no reason why I can’t control that.

We are free to choose but there are consequences to every decision we make.

[Geoff]

Weds

8am - Wtp - 8 mins

8pm - Evolution - 8 mins

Things improved after neurofeedback. I’ve noticed a lot of activation with Love Bomb the past few days.
There is this strong joy/love energy within me daily. Enthusiasm manifests in my greetings and conversation, I sound excited and passionate when chatting with people.

I’m noticing that I seem to be looking for opportunities to compliment people, not superficially but in authentic, character trait kind of ways. It’s as if I’m trying to fill other people’s cups up so to speak. But this time it isn’t because I’m looking to be validated no, I want to share this joy/live I have for myself to others.

"Emerge as a beacon of love, elevating the lives of those around through authentic engagement and profound connection."

Definitely an objective I’m expressing.

"Manifest and radiate love outwardly, empowering oneself and others to express love in empowering ways."

This one might be as well. I will honestly say that my loving energy is off putting to people as well. I don’t think they know what to do with it when I’m around. Granted, it can be challenging for me sometimes because the joy I feel can quickly turn silly, childish or hyper if I don’t watch it. I think ‘most people’ are walking around defensive or are just dead inside (like I was) and to see another person with a full cup can throw one off balance and sometimes resist that love. I’m definitely seeing how some ppl resist the aura. No one has come out and tried to shut me down, however I see it in their body language and mannerisms.

I’m not sure how I can better control or utilize this joyful love I have, it does feel overwhelming at times and I think my biggest challenge is that I’m alone without anyone to share it with or having no way to express it. I wonder what a good, positive outlet would be for such energy. I do look for opportunities to help others but it’s not always available due to my schedule.

I’m also learning and refining my understanding of social dynamics with Wtp. At work I don’t always join in on the gossip or current events but I seem to be moving in ways that bring me to positive outcomes seemingly automatically. I started off telling three coworkers about a situation I didn’t understand and then immediately stopped because I realized doing this could get out of hand and cause a game of telephone to scramble my words and start a misunderstanding.

Also I’m noticing other people acknowledging me a lot. People who didn’t greet me are now greeting me. At least 4 to 5 ppl tell me to have a great one when I leave work compared to maybe 1 a month ago. Much, much higher occurrences of acknowledgements. I’m also noticing others going out of their way to keep me in the loop, telling me information when I never asked. Starting to feel like I’m developing a magnetism or presence that others are starting to revolve around?

It’s been interesting

[Geoff]

This was my support ticket and response regarding my seemingly sudden loss of lust, desire and PMO. I’m definitely loving this state, I feel lighter, more free and unaffected.

It seems that since neither sub contains anti pmo scripting that the rise of self esteem, worth and resilience destroyed the impulse to self gratify and indulge in low value behavior. Truly grateful for such growth, huge sign of maturity.

2 weeks ago
Hello,

Does Emperor have anti-porn and anti-masturbation scripting? I am going on 3+ weeks of unintentional no fap and I’m on washout from my 3rd cycle. I’m not sure where this is coming from. It’s as if lust and desire has an intensity and someone turned it down.

I did look at a few pictures a week ago with not much effect and half a video that lost it’s appeal, otherwise I’ve pursued nothing. I read the sales page and it does mention premature Ej support and stamina boost but I’m celibate by choice so these benefits have not been noticeable but there’s no direct mention on anti pmo scripting.

If not, does Love Bomb have any related scripting? My custom is Emperor & LB with no sexual based modules.

Thanks

Subliminal Club Support
2 weeks ago
Hello,

Thanks for reaching out to us. Emperor does not have direct anti-porn or anti-masturbation scripting. However, the title is designed to enhance focus, discipline, and self-control, which may contribute to the unintentional no-fap experience you’re describing. Emperor’s primary goal is to cultivate resilience, personal power, and mastery over one’s desires, so it’s possible that your shift in behavior stems from this increased mental fortitude and focus on more productive areas of your life.

Regarding Love Bomb, this title also does not have specific anti-porn or anti-masturbation scripting, but it encourages the cultivation of deeper emotional connections and self-love, which could indirectly reduce the appeal of superficial or purely physical gratification.

Since your custom includes both Emperor and Love Bomb, the combination may be working to redirect your energy toward self-mastery and other meaningful pursuits. If this experience aligns with your current goals, you can consider it a positive side effect of the stack you’re running.

I hope I was able to provide some helpful insight today. Thanks again for contacting us and please feel free to reach out again for any other questions. We’re always happy to help!

Kindly,
SubClub

[Geoff]

I am definitely noticing more status, more attention and more looks. I don’t always know the meaning of some looks but overall it seems there’s something about me that draws their gaze.

I’ll be honest, I’m not used to the attention and it isn’t a lot but definitely more than zero. I’ve been invisible most of my life or if I did get noticed or was given attention it was negative, so my default state is feeling uncomfortable when I see others looking at me. I do believe Synergy: At the Top w/ Alpha Body Language helps keep my physical composure even though internally I am struggling.

I’m not sure what ‘action’ I could take to change this unease with attention, my mind immediately think there’s something wrong and that’s why I’m being looked at. I think this is my next big thing to grow through. A old, strong belief that needs changed.

I was at the jerky shop I frequently visit and the owner I’m cool with tells me his employee(girl) ‘likes’ me and can’t I tell? This was a surprise to me but also I basically fawned/froze and downplayed, deflected and avoided the subject…why? I was uncomfortable. She wasn’t there or anything, I just basically ignored it. This is odd. Granted romance, sex and women are not even close to an interest for me right now but to get so uncomfortable with attention in general and hearing about this girl, I’m a little unsure of the root of this.

I carry myself better. My body language, posture and mood/aura are very much improved. My status has obviously elevated as well but the internal state I guess is not as evolved as I thought? I guess running Emperor this is all expected but right now I just feel unprepared honestly. Partly because I’m not interested in the attention or the potential interest (I don’t want the burden or responsibility that comes with it) and the other part because I don’t think I know what I’m doing.

My last relationship was 6 years ago, I chose to stop dating. I’ve been in Solitude for so long outside of work and groceries that my skills are just handicapped in some ways.

The funny thing is wherever I do interact with people I’m enthusiastic and joyful and make others feel at ease. Maybe it’s the romance side that I’m uncomfortable with, since conversations with people I want nothing from seem to go well.

More and more to process, the results are great. I just need to grow more and learn how better to handle myself and these situations.

[Geoff]

Sun

3:30am - Wtp - 9 mins

8:45pm - Evolution - 9 mins

Down 2lbs, increased focus on self care, looks and clothing. Mostly better matching, not wearing clothing that is too big or small on me. Putting more effort into little things and the small details. Grooming and hair care improved more. All this extra focus on myself is directly from increasing internal focus, loving and valuing myself. It’s so crazy how 6+ months ago I was so down and just could not care.

Now my body is slimming down even though the scale isn’t moving much. Who knew consistent bodywork was so important. I never got massages in my whole life until a few months ago. It’s been extremely helpful. Pair that with these subs, neurofeedback therapy and my changes to diet and fixing my liver and I’m really feeling brand new.

The outlook I have from Love Bomb, the Forgiveness scripting…it’s incredible. Every week I feel more light and free internally. All the past shit weighing me down just slowly gets released and it’s the best thing ever.

This past week I think Synergy: Apollon Unbound was expressing. I’m not only slimming but I’m noticing sexy features. I’m not sure how to explain but my eyebrows seems to sit differently, my shoulders look more lined up/rounded out, as my stomach flattens out, it looks more sleek even though I’m still 10 - 15lbs away from my ideal. It’s small changes that show sex appeal. I also am having a hard time seeing flaws in myself.

I don’t know if this custom was exactly what I needed or if it’s just really focused on internal growth, self love and masculine power but I haven’t seen so much success in all my sub usage as I do with this custom. I’m crazy grateful

[Geoff]

I went to see my barber yesterday, got the full treatment. I’m starting to feel the desire to invest in myself. I never used to do this, only push myself like a DI with self critical assaults.

He asked me what I was doing in 2 weeks (I go once a month) and invited me to a customer appreciation party. I guess each barber can only invite up to 3 ppl and he asked me. It surprised me for sure. Total Love Bomb manifestion I believe. I can’t remember the last time I was invited to anything that wasnt from someone I knew for a long time, especially an event.

I remember he asked me how I was doing/how was life and I felt joy within me and said with a smile “I can’t complain” there was no hesitation. Lol, I mean look at the world…look at our culture, economy ect and I’m over here with nothing to complain about. Gratitude scripting?

I even worked out Friday morning out of the blue. Aside from some leg soreness I felt good, I think maybe with the bodywork going so well, I might be able to exercise without pain. I loved that I just decided to exercise out of a desire to, I didn’t think about it or have to push myself towards it.

This might sound weird, but I’ve never felt so content. Sure I can always improve and I continue to everyday but there’s no sense of anxiety or fear about where I am and how I need to be something else or somewhere else, how I’m not good enough yet, ect

Fuck all that noise, it’s gone. I’m filled with peace and joy and I am content in myself. I revolve around myself now, not the world and that is Ah-mazin!

[Geoff]

Seems moving from 8 mins to 9 mins caused a recon stir around Pride, arrogance and ego.

I was really high on joy the past two days, even yesterday morning at neurofeedback. I woke up last night and felt this pride in me, how I’m feeling good about myself, the improvements and how I’m actually starting to see myself as and feel attractive. Not a few hours later and I’m feeling a sense of dread over feeling this way, how this might be a bad thing. I’ve always been humble with myself and never wanted to feel pride. To me there’s nothing objectively good about pride and how it leads to a fall, so this makes sense.

Throughout the night I started to notice old beliefs attacking me. Thoughts about how I’m not shit, just a speck in the cosmos. It was a self driven tear down attempt of the new beliefs that I’ve been enjoying. The joy in me started to reduce and I became more self conscious while doubting myself.

I’m glad I can recognize this as a clash of beliefs about myself and not succumb to negative thoughts and emotions, letting them consume me and move me backwards in results. While I’m in the midst of reconciliation currently, I’m confident I’ll spring back better than ever soon.

It’s crazy how I went from feeling full of myself to getting reality checked by none other than myself, lol. Reminds me of Saint saying how the longer you listen, the deeper the sub digs. I see his point now.

[Geoff]

Heavy, tired and mentally full. Today’s my last listening day of this cycle but I’m going to skip. Maybe tomorrow

This last loop I did sunday is really hitting me some kind of way, no anger, no sadness just fullness and lack of clarity. Heavy minded without direction. It’s been awhile since I’ve felt this bogged down.

[Geoff]

End of cycle 4 / Washout

Thurs

8:30am - Wtp - 9 mins

9pm - Evolution - 9 mins

Feeling better today, slept good too. Looking forward to an 9 day washout. Starting to consider continuing with Wtp or not, it’s been on my mind the past few days. How can you tell if it’s an intuitive nudge or a reconciliation strategy in your mind tricking you? My first thought is to always push through and not stop but that can’t be the right move 100% of the time.

The past few days, well since neurofeedback on Monday I’ve felt like I’m shrinking mentally, the large, taking up space, confident vibe has retracted a bit. I can’t tell if this is a one step back before moving two steps forward or something else. I guess only time will tell. Seems I’m dealing with a lot of doubts and questions about where I am and where I’m going, whats good and what isnt. Ironic since a few posts ago I said I wasn’t experiencing that.

[Geoff]

7 out of a 9 day washout and I am finally feeling that joy again, the easy going temperament.

I’m not sure if I should let Wtp ride and just focus on the custom. Maybe listen to Wtp on sun with custom but on Weds just the custom? Maybe I should just listen to one loop of each, once a week. I’m not sure what the most impactful and efficient route is going forward.

I still feel unclear but it’s lessening.

[Geoff]

Cycle 5

Sat

3am - Wtp - 15 mins

I decided to try a full loop today, a day early from my usual Sunday listening pattern. I’m going to listen to Evolution custom sun night or mon night depending on how I feel. I think I’m going to simply listen to a full loop each once a week this cycle.

I know that when the inner joy I have fades or goes away that reconciliation is high even when I don’t feel much else. It took 7 days on washout to feel that joy again so will use this as a gauge.

Didn’t notice much else all washout, been wanting to sleep more and feel more mentally washed out but that’s it. Increased stress and subtle tension in body, still don’t dream. I wonder why I rarely if ever dream. I’ve read that ppl who don’t dream don’t get into deep enough sleep, maybe that’s why I feel overly tired even after 8 hours.

I think I’m getting more recon from Emperor because I’m not really ‘building an empire/life’, I just eat, sleep and work a job with no real opportunities for growth. It just is what it is and working nights is unhealthy. I notice that my body wants to switch. There is such shit opportunities here where I live and I’m stuck unless I want to take a pay cut and be stressed out.

How does Emperor jive with such a lifestyle and circumstance. Been dealing with doubt about the ‘right fit’ again, but this has to be my subconscious wanting me to stop right…that’s basically why I’m just continuing my stack.