Geoff's Journal - Evolution

After listening to Love Bomb for 4 cycles alongside my Quantum Limitless journey, I felt compelled to add Emperor into my stack. I didn’t want to listen to 3 store titles so I made a custom…

**Evolution**

Cores:

  1. Emperor

  2. Love Bomb

Modules:

  1. Sps: Fat Burn

  2. Pride Unbroken

  3. Divine Self-Image

  4. Synergy: At The Top (4)

  5. Gentleman’s Speech

  6. Synergy: Carpe Vitam (3)

  7. Synergy: Venus Unveiled (3)

  8. Love Without Attachment

  9. Synergy: Apollon Unbound (3)

  10. Synergy: Semper Praesens (2)

Today I start QL stage 4 alongside this custom. I’m not sure what goals I have but I’m dedicating 6 months to this custom. The thought behind the build was to continue and expand on Love and internal strengthening. Emperor and it’s relative modules are to help me get through daily life and care more.

While I’ve had serious improvement on Love Bomb, there are still snippets of old beliefs keeping me stuck. Excuses and talking myself out of things. Times when I act in accordance to the idea that I’m not worth it to some things or some people. I have a bad history of quitting things and I don’t fully understand it. I’m hoping these get addressed. But all in all, I’m just hoping for a positive change of state that lasts.

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1:45am - Sun

30 seconds of Evolution ZP

I know that customs are not built the same way as main store titles and that the modules are all front loaded, however I am still starting at 30 seconds. I’m not sure at what point I’ll pass the modules and get into the cores but this cycle I’ll be listening to 3 days a week to help loop progression.

The following cycles I’m getting the intuitive nudge to listen 2 days a week as I’ll be at a longer loop and it makes sense to spread it out that way.

Edit:

3:45am - Sun

30 seconds of QL St. 4

I find it easier to process when I split subs by a few hours or even one in morning and one at night.

-Since both my micro loops, I’ve felt a quick bump in eakefullness/alertness. A quick and short lived burst in responsiveness. I get up quicker, attend to a task faster and seem more focused. Not bad. I did notice light achiness in center of my forehead for a few mins after Evolution. And with QL4, I am noticing right prefrontal sensation/aches specifically.

Beginning at work tonight -

  1. Was walking out of bathroom area and turning the corner, I almost bumped into another guy. Immediately I said “sorry bro” and continued walking. Not 5 seconds later I’m mentally berating myself and hearing in my head “don’t say sorry to anyone” “don’t apologize for existing” “what’s the matter with you, don’t minimize yourself, especially to other men”

  2. I’m at my work cell a few hours later and a coworker is walking by and when my eyes met his, I Immediately nodded and noticed he didn’t. I Immediately felt like I lost power, not because he didn’t nod (that I could see) but also because I reacted first. I need to stop breaking the silence or making gestures first. This is submissive behavior.

Both of these were internally critiqued and addressed, now to take action and remember not to behave like this going forward.

  1. Stop apologizing for inconvenience
  2. Don’t react to others first out of awkwardness, insecurity or excitement ect.
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Tues - 8am

45 Seconds of Evolution and 45 Seconds of QL Stage 4.

I decided to listen back to back, normally I do one in morning and one at night, I’ve had better results reconciliation wise but I’m curious how these will do back to back.


Last night/ this morning at work after writing the above post I had noticed a much higher incidence of looks/attention from coworkers, just a lot more looks. I think my aura is firing though I’m not sure what kind of aura I’m giving off. I’m not sure what the looks are saying yet. I had a female coworker offer me her number “incase I need anything” and had the female supervisor pull me into the office to get my opinion and basically talk to me for a few mins about her work, ect.

So far after my 1st loop sun, I’ve “felt or noticed” the non chalence module, Pride Unbroken and Depths of Love. It’s a pretty wild dichotomy this custom is. I go from moments of wanting beast mode to deep dives into how I expressed what I thought was love to others in my past, lol.

I have felt moments of great peace also, could be blue skies or just LB. Who knows but so far I’ve been feeling good. The insights flow, resolve is forming and a calm optimism permeates my day. I can’t complain

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45 seconds with both titles back to back seemed to be too much. I’ve been heavy minded since I listened.

I only nodded to 3 ppl first at work yesterday. Not great but better than before. I know the ones to blankly look at now without gesture.

Minds been slow and feeling less enthusiastic. Feels like QL4 recon if I had to guess.

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Thurs - 8:15am

30 seconds of QL4.

Going back to separating listening to one in morning and one at night. Reducing back to 30 seconds as I’m feeling some light brain fog but don’t want to skip today and thinking maybe a shorter, single loop will help reset me.

I successfully did not nod at anyone first at work. The people I recognized as those who don’t respond got nothing from me. I feel satisfied, just have to continue strengthening this new form of interaction on my terms and not slip up.

I thought Love Bomb was doing great things for my posture as I had written in the Love Bomb thread. This custom has intensified it. It feels almost extra, the level of my uprightness. The damn near automatic calibration of posture plus the Alpha body Language module is just nuts. I walk around and get this sense of trying to express myself as an Emperor. I’m really enjoying this change in body language and posture.

Spend more time with people whom you have a common future with rather than a common past.”

I just heard this phrase on a YouTube video and it really took hold in my mind. I’ll be pondering this some more but it makes sense. I basically dropped my past when I got sober BUT I never grew/built a network with anyone let alone those I had a common future with. I went from negative to neutral and have been coasting purposeless for 9 years…I’ve got to do something about this

Edit:

8:45pm - 30 Seconds of Evolution ZP

Slept deep all day, woke up feeling much better. Listened to Evolution and ready for work. It’s my Friday being on nights so I’m already in a good mood.

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Say what you want to say, regardless of second guessing or fearing the reaction. Focus on being authentic, not on being politically correct or softening yourself for other people’s benefit.

Do Emperors restrain themselves from being true to themselves? I didn’t think so

Stop being afraid

That is all

I’m definitely feeling warmer. I thought maybe it was just hot out but working nights and the average being 68 to 78 most days it isn’t just summer.

I’m warmer at work and I’m warmer at home. I have the ceiling fan on in my room and I’m quite uncomfortable.

I’ve had Sps: Fat Burn in customs in the past but ive never felt this module before. It’s been 3 listening days/3 micro loops…I feel it. And it took Love Bomb to unlock it. I talked about how in German New Medicine, weight gain/loss is directly related to Self worth/esteem and now that I’m consuming LB and supporting modules like Divine Self-Image…it’s working. We will see what happens at the end of this first cycle.

I am definitely feeling more comfortable in my body, less externally focused and I’m noticing a more solid frame where I’m not falling into other people’s frames or states. This has been an impressive week, I’ve noticed lots of things.

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Sun

5am - 45 Seconds of QL4

7:30pm - 45 Seconds of Evolution

Weekend was great, spent quality time with my son and was productive. 45 second loops are definitely easier on the mind when I listen to the subs separately.

Tues

8am - 45 Seconds of QL4

8:45pm - 45 Seconds of Evolution

I started taking L-Theanine Sunday. I’ve been less expressive and fun as well as more serious since. I’m not sure if it’s the supplement or the increase to 45 seconds/recon. L-Theanine affects dopamine, serotonin and gaba.

Side note, It’s been almost a week since I started brushing my teeth with my left hand(I’m right handed) and I’m making progress. I read it helps create new neural pathways so I’m all for it.

At work I’ve maintained the standard of not acknowledging others first and being more aware of submissive cues. My pants are getting looser but the scale is the same, either way something is working. Appetite seems less overt as well, like I go longer without realizing I’m hungry or when I do get hungry I don’t eat as much.

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I bought a bag of twister frito chips from the break room tonight. I rarely buy chips/junk food, especially at work however tonight I did. The funny thing is I immediately looked at the ingredients and this is nothing new as I check everything I buy/eat.

But the intensity of which I felt repulsed was wild. I saw Blue Lake 2, Yellow 5 Lake, Yellow Lake 6 and Red 40. Lol if you Google these, it’s not good. Anyways it was like my subconscious said “No fucking way” and I didn’t.

The Self Respect and Self Love scripting is strong in this custom, exactly what I wanted. The level of Discernment towards anything that I consume, use or put on is growing. It’s becoming intuitively automatic that I think about everything that could have an effect on me.

P.s. That fun, positive vibe is coming back today. I’m glad, that broody, serious vibe the past few days is not as fun.

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Thurs

8am - 1 min QL4

8pm - 1 min Evolution

Tuesdays loops at 45 seconds took until Weds night to express. I started feeling that fun LB optimism and less serious then.

Tonight I feel hazy mentally , lower energy and generally disengaged. I didn’t realize the connection until after my 1 minute loops. Next listening day is sun, so I will track and see if any scripting expresses before then. Seems 45 seconds loops had about a 24 to 36 hour delay in script expression, so 1 minute is probably the max listening time I should do going forward in order to avoid overexposure.

Sun

2am - 1 min of Evolution

7am - 1 min of QL4

This weekend I noticed I having thoughts of money, finances and basically found myself mentally auditing where I stand and what things I could do to improve or maximize. Financial stuff was never a huge priority for me, Emperor is the first sub with scripting for wealth I’ve used. It was interesting experiencing a wealth shift.

Faced with bad news last night and as I’m struggling through it, I did handle the exchange pretty well. I was impressed looking back. I can definitely see Pride Unbroken and Love Bomb working in this regard.

If I have negative thoughts or feel bad emotionally, my mind seems to counter it with the positive opposite of whatever I’m expressing/feeling. Very helpful as it softens everything and I don’t get knocked off my path.

Been getting urges to work out, I finally realized I have some muscle issues and scheduled a massage to address this as I have issues with upper back, shoulders and neck area…for years but I never did anything about it. So now I seem to be addressing things and moving forward without avoidance.

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I noticed the same thing on Emperor. Challenges that would have crushed me a year earlier, felt just like a kick in the ass to get me to take action.
Resilience scripting in Emperor is unreal.

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Inner voice/conscience is growing stronger. I swear I’m almost arguing with myself mentally, they’ll be a thought or observation about something and then the counter thoughts and it continues in what seems like a mental argument until a reconciliation is accomplished and I come to a new or better consensus on whatever issue it was.

Anytime I find myself wanting to behave in some type of way due to an external circumstance or experience, my mind or inner Voice just nixes it and I carry on. Resilience?

I’m really enjoying this, it’s like having a strong life coach with you at all times, keeping you on the path, the right path.

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Tues

9am - 1:30 of QL4

9:15pm - 1:30 Evolution

Things are steady. Still brushing teeth with left hand, it’s getting better. Continuing to guard against submissive behaviors. Not acknowledging ppl unless they do so first. Posture is still going hard, I get an Imperial feeling when I’m walking sometimes. Looks like I’m down about 2lbs also.

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Since my last loop of 1:30, introspection has been intense. So many thoughts and memories. My minds just been on a roll showing me basically all the cringe from my life. Been feeling shame, fear, embarrassment, sadness and frustration over all kinds of moments in my past.

I’m definitely feeling more on the Love Bomb side of this custom today, recons probably mid. It isn’t affecting me externally in any way but internally there’s a lot. Pride Unbroken has been shining through for me, I notice that I don’t go down emotional rabbit holes when things happen and I’m affected by things for less time and with less intensity.

I dropped my classes for the degree program I was in. I realized that it’s always been something I thought I should do but I have literally no interest in doing the work of that career choice. I do have an issue with quitting but I just can’t force myself through this program. I think I’m gaining more and more authenticity and learning more and more about what I don’t want. I just have to find what I do want. I’m still processing but I think I did the right thing. After all I don’t even enjoy what I’ve been doing for 10 years now and my degree is just another version of it. I don’t want to live according to shoulds anymore…

3 Likes

Thursday

8am - 1:30 of QL4

8:30pm - 1:30 of Evolution

Today is my last listening day of the first cycle. Aside from some moderate recon the past day or so it has been a smooth experience. 1:30 felt heavier than 1 minute so I’ll be sticking to it until it’s assimilated.

I am getting the intuitive nudge that going forward, running a 2 a week cycle will be better than 3. The longer the loops get, the more processing days are required (for me). That’s only 6 listening days versus the 9 I just did but I have a gut feeling this will benefit me more.

Don’t let getting lonely make you reconnect with toxic people. You shouldn’t drink poison just because you are thirsty.

Saw this quote online and it grabbed my attention. It just shows how much we sacrifice of ourselves for connection, comfort or attention. I’m realizing how much emphasis I’ve put on external sources throughout my life. This custom is probably the best one I’ve made, it seems to be perfectly addressing exactly what I need.

I was never a prideful or overly confident person. I’m starting to feel some aspect of pride, but in a positive regard. Regard for myself, proud of the actions I take to support myself in whatever I do. I’m starting to have my own back compared to the decades of self-abandonment and sacrifice.

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Washout - 9 days

Man, I could have skipped yesterday’s loops. My whole night was just off. Heavy, agitated mentally and generally uncomfortable. Definitely loaded my subconscious queue, thankfully I have 9 days to sort it out.

On the brightside, I finally bought a Sperti Fiji Sun Tanning Lamp that I’ve put off for years. I hate working nights now and unless I want to take a $12/hr pay cut I am stuck for now. This should help me get more light, improve my mood and put some color back on me. I feel good about taking action, especially seeing how it only benefits me, so the self love is up and I have enough self worth now to realize I am worth investing a few hundred dollars into improving my situation.

Had a lady in planning at work give me a flirtatious look, surprised me. Also went to pick up steaks at local meat market and the girl at counter was oogling me and smiling at me. Is this from Physicality Shifter – Sexiness and Sexiness Unbound? Pretty cool :sunglasses: just being noticed itself feels good.

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This washout has been lively.

The first 3 or 4 days was definitely emotional. I noticed that during my cycle Emperor and the Alpha modules seemed to take priority in expression. On washout it’s been Love Bomb and the Self worth scripting. I’ve had so much introspection on the past and present. A lot of analysis on my behavior and how it is related to my own internal value setting. I can see the level of self worth connected to behaviors. It’s been rough, depressing and makes me feel really sad at times seeing how I behaved in the past. Hell even now in the present, the way I interact with others, it’s crazy. The first step to change is seeing the problem.

The past 3 days I’ve become increasingly angry inside. Especially when I’m ignored after reaching out. People leaving me on read or getting back to me hours to a day later. It’s infuriating and getting worse…I’m really not sure what to do about it, how do I keep myself from snapping. Maybe I should unleash on ppl? Maybe not

The intolerance towards disrespect is growing exponentially, it’s important I figure out how to live in harmony with everything I feel. Part of me wants to go Scorched Earth on anyone who crosses me, overly aggressive vibe probably from decades of poor boundaries and lack of assertiveness. Going from one extreme to the other is most likely not the answer. I’m struggling with wanting to react when I need the wisdom to know how to respond. Maybe I should add Will to power? I don’t want to add more though.

It’s been 7 or 8 days out of 9 and I still don’t feel light, it’s been a heavy week full of processing. I want to go through QL again as I’ve only done each stage once, if I do, the cycle will have to be 2 listening days a week as I need more time to process.

Brushing my teeth with my left hand is pretty good now. I’m getting comfortable using my left hand for the whole process. Been trying to incorporate my left hand more and more in other things as well, like washing dishes.

Pants are getting more and more loose, the scale hovers around 3lbs down so I might be filling out muscularly because the way clothes are fitting now speaks more than scale.

Not sure if it’s Apollon Synergy or Divine Self-Image but I see myself in a better light/perception physically lately. Letting hair grow out as well (I’ve always been a high & tight guy) so this seems to be a positive direction.

Sperti Sun lamp after one week is improving my feeling of well being and I do think sleep is slightly improved. Getting my color back and don’t look 3rd shift pale/unhealthy so I will continue with it.

As I continue growing with this scripting, wisdom and proper guidance seems more and more important. I get nervous sometimes with how I feel in certain situations, wary that I don’t handle situations incorrectly. Emotional Temperance seems like a must going forward.

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