I’d never looked seriously at the physical shifting modules such as that one before. But after what I think is WB making me think about “style” more seriously, I’m adding that to my list of modules to license. I’m basically setting aside enough $ to license one module each paycheck until I have all the ones I want.
This morning grocery shopping after wor, I noticed two times being checked out. Once by a worker I see often and another time on the way out by a random young woman.
That really doesn’t happen to me, or at least it didn’t before this stack. I’m definitely feeling better about myself in general. Divine Self-Image and Pride Unbroken are two modules I underestimated. My self image is much, much better and with Pride Unbroken, I feel as though I walk around with a shield that grants indifference towards any attack or behavior aimed at diminishing me. Impeturbability (unable to be upset or excited; calm.) I guess.
This washout has been great. Only a day or so of past experiences coming up, introspection of childhood scenarios and the like. Mostly I feel a renewed sense of vigor towards getting into shape and I found myself searching for and watching masculine motivation youtube clips, which was surprising. A sort of priming of my mindset maybe. Two days ago I was dreading working OT, yet tonight I came in 3.5 hrs early and doing 8 hrs even though I missed 2 hours during the week, so even though I’m only getting 6 hours OT pay for working 8, I am still doing it. Normally I’d talk myself out of it aka cost vs. benefits ect
This washout gave me clarity on my use. I wouldn’t say that I’ve been over-exposing per say, rather I simply don’t process the sub input as fast as I’d like to think I do. So this next cycle I’ll be going 4 rest days per loop instead of 2 loops a week spaced 2, then 3. I’ll just go every 4 until cycle is complete. Hopefully this yields positive results as I do notice the 10 days on washouts do seem to be subjectively the ‘best’ experience where I feel the most empowered and recognize the little things more often.
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Cycle 11
Sat
Evolution - 6 mins
Next loop, no earlier than Weds.
Today, for some reason I woke up at noon instead of my usual 6:45pm. Instead of laying around I removed and replaced an area in my backyard used for a garden to now reseeded to grow grass. Laid out straw on top even, definitely put in the effort to do it ‘right’ instead of just hurrying through it. Got some spring cleaning done and burned up all the boxes accumulated over winter. I ended up cinging off some hair as I got a little close to burn barrel when the wind gust flared it up, lucky it wasn’t bad. I’m surprised today by the dedication, productivity and determination I have. There was no plans to do anything really yet here I accomplished a lot. Feels good.
I think Gentleman’s Speech is hitting too. I’m more concise with my speech. Saying only what matters, a lot less fluff in conversation, more direct and I’ve noticed that cussing is way down. If I do have the urge to use words, I’ll say “yeah, that’s effed up” instead of the usual. I’m also more creative sometimes finding and using unique words. I’m starting to want to expand my vocabulary as well and also use those new words when I speak.
I’ve been having some really good days lately and I’m grateful.
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Love Bomb + Emperor really is a powerful pairing.
I’ve been consistently building habits that are actually lasting over time.
Exercise for example, I was always looking for motivation to exercise and it never stuck. However now, I’ve developed enough self love, self value and the desire to take care of myself that I look forward to exercising automatically. I don’t even look for the motivation to work out, I just feel like I want to do better for myself and exercise is just one way of expressing that goal.
I’m slowly decreasing the amount of food I eat at work also, realizing a lot of it is simply eating out of boredom. It’s all clean food too, just more calories than I need. There’s been no junk food in weeks, previously I had one cheat snack on the weekends but I have since dropped that too.
I haven’t moved on the scale. I’m still 144/145lbs. Yet I can tell I’ve built some muscle and my 30x30 work pants that I could not button in January, and that were uncomfortably snug in march are now just snug/slightly tight and I know they’ll only fit better with time. In fact, I even bought two more work pants at 30x30 out of celebration for moving closer to my goals. I have the confidence in knowing I’ll get there and I backed it with spending $ on it.
The reasons for why I am doing things is coming from a deeper place, a more authentic place of valuing myself. I’ve become so much less shallow. How I dress, how I talk and the way I carry myself have all matured. I’ve definitely created more pride in myself and my environment is elevating in proportion to my internal level. Bringing my life and self up to standard I guess.
When I first started Emperor, I didn’t like it. Even just a few cycles ago I was doubting continuing. It really is a slow burn 
. The sales page does say that Emperor is meant to be used consistently over time and it’s true. Not everyone will take as long as me to really start feeling the shifts but I’m glad I kept going.
I knew it before, but now I know it. Mindset really is the beginning, it’s the foundation of which your actions take hold. If you have the ‘correct’ mindset, you can achieve so much. But you have an unhealthy or damaged mindset, even basic things seem impossible. I’m speaking from experience, my 20s and 30s were terrible and now at 40, my Life begins 
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Weds
Evolution - 7 mins
The past 4 days were pretty good, so I’m going for 7 mins tonight. Been feeling a little ‘better than this’ all week. At work I’m kind of calling out the inefficiency, lack of communication and time wasting in ways that don’t put a target on me.
There is definitely a low tolerance for b.s. mindset with Emperor, I’ve also felt less nice, kind or loving this week. That’s not to say I’ve been unkind, rather just maybe less emotional and less agreeable towards situations and people. I’m getting used to it, it’s probably just development of a more masculine backbone and higher standards for myself and others around me.
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