"Not all pleasure is worth pursuing, nor should all pain be avoided" - Epicurus
Finally heard back yesterday from that job I applied for, surprisingly I was not picked, I have a very high rate of getting offers after interviews.
However I was planning on declining if offered for reasons such as the company was 20 mins late showing up for virtual interview. 2nd in person interview the manager was late again by 10 mins.
The work was different and not exactly interesting and they were looking to start a second shift to accommodate more work from only two clients. I wasn’t interested in working the late shift as I’m already on one. And the economic security wasn’t high there.
All that to say is when I received the message, I actually replied “perfect thanks , saved me from having to decline” I have never been like that before. I felt like I was being pushed to respond and after a few hours sent that.
I’m not sure where that came from or why I did it but I feel good about it. This washout has been super helpful, Saturday I start Evolution V2
Things have been continuing, I’m exercising consistently again, motivation has been pretty good all washout and my moods been optimistic and enthusiastic. I feel ‘hungry’ for life, action and accomplishment. I can’t complain.
Rule #1 Be Attractive
Rule #2 Don’t be UNattractive
That is all
Cycle 9
Sat
Evolution V2 - 30 seconds
Evolution V2
Cores:
- Emperor
- Love Bomb
Modules:
- Pragya
- Art of Trust
- Kings Radiance
- Pride Unbroken
- MDFY: Freedom
- Divine Self-Image
- Breaking The Cycle
- Attachment Destroyer
- Carpe Diem Ascended
- Gratitude Embodiment
- Synergy: At The Top (4)
- Love Without Attachment
- Synergy: Primordial Aura (5)
- Extreme Exercise Motivation
- Synergy: Divine Dominion (6)
- Synergy: Apollon Unbound (3)
- Synergy: Harmonic Conflux (2)
- Synergy: Beyond Seduction (3)
This is my updated Emperor/Love Bomb custom, I will be approaching this cycle with much lower loops, in fact I don’t really want to go over 3 minutes. This 2 week + washout showed me just how much processing I had backed up from previous cycles and stacking.
My goal is to run a loop and not experience overload recon, to continue each day feeling how I’ve been on washout which has been positive, enthusiastic, energetic, ambitious and hungry for action/change.
I’ve been working 6 days a week, exercising and pushing detox harder, I want to continue the momentum while ever expanding growth and success. I don’t plan on listening to anything else the rest of this year, just using this custom to dig deep and become better.
I woke up Saturday evening with a noticeable increase in brain fog…was it from the 30 second loop? I see no other possible cause. I ended up buying a cheat meal last night and ashamedly indulged in pmo. On the bright side I did go a little harder with exercise, added 2 other exercises and picked up intensity so there’s that. I do find myself feeling a little frazzled, a little scattered, during this morning it was like an hour went by and I wasn’t doing anything almost as if I zoned out and time passed unknowingly.
I knew this custom would be dense but I wasn’t expecting such a reaction to 30 seconds, looks like I’ll be taking this slow.
Looks like today is my 3 year anniversary. It’s been 3 years, but I feel like I’ve been here longer. I’ve changed a lot in the past 3 years since using these subliminals, grateful
I’ve been wondering why the past 2 days seem like they’ve gone downfill and why I’m all of a sudden feeling ‘less’. March just started and what is March but the 3rd month of the year…makes sense. Being a 4 Lifepath, the #3 is my enemy number and I was told last year in my reading that March would be my ‘worst month’ simply because of the energy. I wonder if I did myself a disservice by starting my custom this month.
Not everyone believes or takes stuff like this seriously but you can’t deny the connections. The good news is April is only a few weeks away and I’ll be in the best month for me soon. I will have to remember this and have compassion for myself this month, not letting this month beat me down.
#numerology
Mon
Evolution V2 - 35 seconds
Slow and steady, doing it right this time.
“Pessimism of the intellect, optimism of the will”. - Antonio Gramsci
I’m a pessimist because of intelligence, but an optimist because of will. The old world is dying, and the new world struggles to be born: now is the time of monsters. I hate the indifferent.
I can’t really say I felt much recon tonight but I did notice feeling ‘small’. My walk was more timid, I did not feel enthusiastic, alive or have any of that Emperor energy going on. Granted I’ve been dealing with a mild headache for almost 2 days that just won’t go away but I think 35 seconds definitely affected me. My aura and vibe just feels smaller, hopefully this is only temporary.
Weds
Evolution V2 - 40 seconds
Quick workout before heading to work. I’ve been dealing with tiredness above the usual for the past few days. I’m not sure if I don’t have the energy to sustain the Auras in this custom or if harmonic conflux synergy module has just been relaxing me to the point I’ve been allowed physically to be so tired I did notice since starting this custom that I feel a little less rigid, it’s not perfect but it has changed. I was hoping it would by adding it.
Early this morning I had thoughts of stack switching and wanting to stop this custom, crazy at 35 seconds last loop. At least I know it’s working. Going to stick to 5 second increases each listening day, no need to push as I’m already experiencing what I’d call ‘tolerable recon’.
The recon seemed to have gotten worse, Friday at work I swear my supervisor was talking to me and I literally couldn’t understand her for a min. It was like my brain just stopped. Thankfully she didn’t ask a question and just walked away.
The brain fog has been subtly intense, to the point I didn’t realize it. I had intense frustration Friday about 2 hours before end of shift, I felt like I was going to snap and wanted to just break some shit. I was seriously uncomfortable and even after work I just felt messed up. I felt high when I wasn’t frustrated.
Today’s less intense but my brain just feels overwhelmed. 3 loops…30, 35 and 40 seconds and I’m this bogged down. I’m not going to continue. Once I clear my head I might just go back to Evolution Zp or main titles. It’s been really difficult trying to think clearly, my attention sucks and I’m annoyed because I no longer have clarity and currently feel lost. I had just over a 2 week washout and after just 1 week I feel like I’ve hit a wall. I don’t even want to write all this but gotta own up to my bad idea.
I do not make good choices. My eyes are bigger than my stomach so to speak. I can hardly handle main titles let alone customs, most of my sub experiences are just overload with promising blooms at end of cycles. Damn…I’m still pissed, spinning my wheels, doing too much.
Will be washing out until I feel normal
Sun
Evolution - 1 min
Slowly clearing out the fog. Did some mini spring cleaning Saturday, the urge to exercise is returning. I figure I’d try a small, short loop and see how I do tonight.
Back to the original custom for now which if I’m being honest is still more than what’s reasonable for me. It’s 22 if you fully count everything. In the future, if I can’t stay at 10 or less then I’m not making a custom.
Sleep has been pretty broken all weekend, even tonight. I can’t fall asleep without sleep aids but I can’t stay asleep with them…
I haven’t read any books since last week, hoping the desire and capacity to read returns, I was really moving through books before I crashed.
4.5 hrs after my 1 min loop…
Small increase in optimism, joy and inner peace. I can feel the state change.
Could be Gentleman’s Speech - I’m more aware of social ettiquite, the desire to act honorably in interactions and not debase myself cussing even if others are doing so. I used to in order to ‘join in and be relatable’ but tonight it felt distasteful and I was averse to seemingly lower standards of behavior.
Small increase in drive to be better. I’ve been slowly improving my home to where it does not look like a lonely, depressed hermit lives there. This 1 min loop has simply reinforced a mild resolve to make my house and living environment ‘respectable’. It’s like the saying we only have so many phucks to give and I’m giving more phucks about this matter than I used to.
Definitely feeling a renewed vigor, thankful.
Aaannnddd…A quick workout before sleep. I’m feeling pretty good with myself right now, it keeps getting better and I love the consistency.
Consistency is such a big deal, it’s what makes shit change. Nothing happens overnight. A ‘what’s the point’, pessimist attitude and a severe lack of consistency is what I basically was before SubClub and thanks to Emperor and Love Bomb, I’m worth being better.
I think it’s Synergy: Carpe Vitam
At work or even at home, if I accomplish anything or even just finish my shift at work, I feel this profoundly intense joyous feeling, almost giddy positivity. I’ve talked about this before in past posts. I’m just not sure where it’s coming from.
I have Live Bomb, Synergy: Venus Unveiled and Synergy: Carpe Vitam and it could be all three together but I’m trying to narrow it down.
Seize life with the Carpe Vitam module – a masterful blend of three modules all focused on creating an intense level of ambition within your being. Carpe Diem Ascended generates the pure drive and ambition within that is at the core of the Carpe Vitam module, while Joie De Vivre brings incredibly deep levels of satisfaction to anything that you do. Finally, Unrelenting Wealth Motivation & Energy completely eradicates any sense of fear, paralysis, lack of energy, and other potential reasons you might have towards taking transformative action. While the module is called Unrelenting Wealth Motivation & Energy, the scope of its effects in this Synergy module goes vastly beyond simply wealth, and will help achieve the same profound desire for success and life as it does for those who use it for wealth.
Could this be causing the intense joy at moments of completion however small?
For Love Bomb, these objectives could contribute but they lack specificity to my description.
-
Cultivate an unwavering appreciation for the essence of reality and the act of living, awakening a deep love for the beauty in all facets of life.
-
Foster a profound self-love that celebrates individuality and authenticity, nurturing affection for every aspect of one’s being.
- On a side note, I’m definitely seeing this objective being activated in me daily. Emerge as a beacon of love, elevating the lives of those around through authentic engagement and profound connection. I’m randomly complimenting my coworkers and some strangers who interact with me. I’m filled with this positive vibration that yearns to be expressed and take many opportunities to “Share The Love”. I seem to have developed a love for others and wanting to see good things happen for them. I find myself being overly thankful towards people who show any kind of affection, support or camaraderie really going out of my way to acknowledge their kindness, time and thoughtfulness towards me. I feel the urge to ‘build others up’ if the opportunity arises.
Love Bomb is amazing
I wish I could figure out what exactly was causing the intense joy specifically for future possibilities. I just know this 1 min loop is going hard for me, crazy great night.
Weds
Evolution - 2:15 seconds
I meant to do 2 mins but got distracted. It seems my last loop of 1 min started to fade this morning. In trying to find my sweet spot, where I feel results without brain fog or reconciliation symptoms, I’ll be moving by 1 min until I hit that wall.
It’s been a great past 3 days, Full of enthusiasm, energy and drive coupled with joyous positivity.
I Might have a possible issue at work coming up but I’m hoping I misheard what I overheard and that it is unrelated to me.
About 4 hours after my loop, I started feeling warmer. Though it was only after taking zeolite as well. I think this is the first time ive noticed/felt Sps: Fat Burn.
I have a very hard time losing fat and I’ve had a theory why. If your liver is in poor shape, it can’t process the stuff/toxins that are stored in your bodyfat and no matter what sub you play or how much you exercise, the body won’t touch the fat until it’s toxic load is reduced.
I found out I was born with a liver injury and then became an alcoholic in my 20s, so I have work to do.
But taking the zeolite seemed to have unlocked my body’s willingness to turn up the thermogenisis. Because as the fat is broken down, the fat storage toxins such as A, D & E can be bound by the zeolite and not float around in my bloodstream.
So cool, I’ve been having an increased body temperature for hours now. Hopefully in a few days I’ll actually weigh less and confirm.
So far besides the above, just a little brain fog, not much but it’s there. I think 1:45 - 2 min loop was probably the right amount. Next listening day I’ll do that.
So I have yet to feel that enthusiastic joy since my loop, I’ve been using that state as a gauge for recon/processing.
Moods been friendly but a little more serious or mature and less giddy/childlike joy.
Motivation and drive, desire to workout has lessened a bit. I still did some exercises but getting things done quickly and handling priorities has reduced a bit, for now.
It’s only been 24hrs or so since loop, 2 more processing days before next loop.