Furkan's Journal

Have you considered this mentality is contributing to your recon? You’re running subs for development purposes (more masculinity, leveling up, etc.), but there’s a deep resistance to “endless” development. If that’s a serious concern, drop Khan. It’s a long-term commitment that could easily demand a year or more of your life. Though the copy recommends one cycle per stage, that isn’t enough time in practice — folks usually end up spending two or more cycles with each.

I get where you’re coming from: I started uni a year late, did five years across two majors, and then a post-grad program. Graduating in my mid-twenties, I felt like I was falling behind everyone. It wasn’t until I made older friends (some more successful than me, some less) that I realized how little my age actually mattered. Looking back at 27, 23 feels like a lifetime ago, and those insecurities feel more embarrassing than anything.

Self-development never really ends. We’ve got folks here in their 40s to 60s still wondering how they can do better, be better. Personally I’d rather spend my 20s doing the heavy develop than my 30s-40s.

You get this with Khan plus wealth, leadership, masculinity, etc.

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I dont think its deep resistance or serious concern, what i want actually is someone along the way

Well try swapping Wanted for Heartsong and see how that lands. Heartsong is relationship oriented. Wanted is general attraction.

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I will do that but i will wait for 5-7 days to run heartsong after dropping wanted

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Rn I feel myself like an idiot, there are lots of things I have to do.

And I did pmo today, I don’t know how I’m gonna break free from this. I need a partner.

And yesterday I took my first gardasil vaccine I will take second one 2 months later. I don’t when I will take the 3rd one because it is expensive.

I have lots of things to do but I don’t wanna do anything

I was going to work out today but still there is pain on my shoulder probably because of vaccine its like some sticking a needle.

And i have problem with the shoe ive just bought newly, i bought airforce for the first time and its very uncomfortable for my right foot. I will try to return it or i will sell it. And i dont know what kinda shoe i should buy. Its just a fucking shoe but still i couldnt give a decision. And still ihave shoe i should get rid off

I’m fed up with living same things over and over.

I’m planning to attend dance club this week. And tomorrow there’s sailing club’s occasion. I would have wanted to be active in this club but I don’t kno how to swim yet. i looked for some places but the transportation is problem it will take my 1.30hours I don’t think I can do it now. But I have to learn it somehow.

And I think to get free from pmo I need a sexual partner. Without it looks very hard.

Sounds like your right foot is bigger. Thats common. Get a clerk to help you measure, you’ll likely need to go up a half size.

And I want more muscle more masculine body yes I have decent body but I need size. And I couldn’t work out because of the pain.

But I increased my weight 1.5kg since I started school

i really feel like a shit. I just wanna disappear from this life.

I don’t want to do anything

I was feeling very bad in the school actually im feeling low for a few days, but especially when i saw the girl in the classrom i lost my focus like for 15 minues i couldnt focus the lesson.

but later i went to tango club and it changed my mood like 180degrees it was really good. I look forward for the next lesson, it was better than i expected

Im feeling good today, good music, school is mostly empty beacuse today friday, etc.

But still i have digestion porrblem, i should consume more fiber. Probably i have sensitive body. Actually if i eat oatmeal etc i would be fine but i cant find time for this. When i get the dorm i have dinner and then there is no room for it. Maybe avocado but i dont like it. And still there is shoe problem i need to solve and i have to buy a trouser but my exams are closing.

And if i come to why do i feel good. I have to be honest i was daydreaming about this girl when i think about her it puts smile on me but when i see her again probably it will backfire. Because we dont talk anymore. In my mind she is my girlfriend, but in reality she is not, and this situation put me in hard position sometimes it creates bad feelings it throws me off balance.

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I need to read more books, i think im kinda boring person. I should read more book, maybe travel more. More hobbies.

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