Yes i could but I don’t have place in my stack and I don’t have money spend for this
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Okay, that’s understandable.
i am sick of everything,exhausted.i am strange phase in my life important phase… stagnant…
feel like as if im not living . i have physical issues sexual issues that i never mention here maybe i mention later and i was considering these as a major problemsthat i have to solve to live fully. i have exam in 27 days for university and i dont study properly almost zero effort. and if i didnt achieve to go uni i will have bigger problems.man i have so many things to write here.if i didnt go university again I might still have to live with my parents in the future. and also there is external problem in a week will be election and this so fuckin important for me,my future,my country’s future.if the current government wins everything will be much much worse.the elections went to the second round and unfortunately the government received more votes than expected in the first round so fuck fuck these people they still vote for him god, even if he win again everytihn will be worse economy,safety of country.because of this man we have almost become a second lesser nation in our own country
and for this i have to work hard for my future . I need to find a job where I can earn money in dollars. cuz economy will be much worse. and im not putting the necesseary effort my future. i am exhausted tired, im sickenin of everything. look at the state im in. i was hardworking study almost all of my years until the pandemi. i was hardworking diciplend since the first grade and now im losing. I haven’t studied properly since the pandemic I haven’t studied properly since the pandemic in the meantime a lot has changedi,my beliefs… epiphanies…anger…darkness i dont know. i am losing.back in the school I was despising the profession of doctor i was saying to my self i dont wanna be doctor feels like slavery.and look where i am most of the friends in my classroom went to the med school, i was despising this look where i am i have nothing iam writing this cuz I could have won even if I didn’t want to.At least I could have a decent job. i was wanting to be computer enginneer from midschool but while pandemic i didnt want to go engineering i dont want to study and it seemed like slavery to me. right now i want to go best uni in my country in an easy major for network environments. i dont have specific tihngs to do in uni but ı want to work in tech area,programming
i dont know,dont know…i feel astray.im sick of this life. i dont wanna do anything, just nothing
I can understand if you are feeling overwhelmed.
What are your thoughts about Genesis?
There are things to I should write here but I am delaying for days
Maybe instead of ascension it could be better,but I don’t have place in my stack and also money
I wrote this bcs increase of sexuality and libido from ascension I couldn’t handle(but also look like genesis has sexual script too) . I have to learn control this sexual energy , or this energy will control me. I don’t wanna be controlled by anything anymore
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A few days ago I had pain in my testicles now it seems to be gone . But actually there’s a little little
The reason Iam writing this here is that 2 days ago when I felt the pain, I thought that if I don’t heal my sexual traumas, I might get tetsis cancer.i have sexual problems that keep me from sex and I also have urinary problems for a long time When I went to the doctor like 4-5 months ago, he told me there was nothing.test seemed okay but I know this is not normal.I tried herbal treatments, it seemed to help, maybe that’s why the tests were fine. I can’t make sense of it,maybe it’s my chakras,maybe it’s manifests of my sexual problems.
Yes I have problems that I think about my sexuality
But now I can’t do anything about my future I can’t put necessary effort I will have bigger problems that I will not have time to heal my sexual problems
I wanna live fully,but first of all I have be financially freedom at least I have to have plan to get this it’s vital. Everything is hard but this government make things harder and tomorrow there will be very important election. If they win again everything will be much worse
But still, what I have written here seems beta
I should have created my own reality not react everything. I’m tried of distracting myself
And I avoid introspection
I was thinking of my sexual problems and reading some sexual energy stuff and today khan black released
Bad point for me while I read microcosmic circulation I end up reading about tantric masturbation
And then Ive ejaculated on tantric masturbation joi video
Ejaculated again 3 times today fuck ,feel tired,blurry mind iwas feeling great today in the morning.i sabotage my self.
I haven’t ejaculated in 5-6 days,I started to think that if I can’t how to learn(can’t do)sexual transmutation I can harm myself and later I ejaculated. I tricked myself
I wanna watch movie now ,few days ago I watched alot movies,I distracted myself with this things(but they were good movies).now I want watch again I don’t think clearly right now I feel drained
Stagnancy…
One of the problem that I have is that I don have any friends to talk,I am all alone and I got used to it. I should goto uni
oh fuck the electiıon end up badly. for my country everything will be worse. and what the hell ı am doing for my future . i couldnt even hate this people they are fucking stupid. now they are celebrating this.like a joke.it was very important election. fuck 
really bothering me
First day of cycle
Current stack:
Ascension
Ascension chamber
Limitless executive
And maybe I’ll run LBfH. I said maybe bcs I ran this for 4 cycle maybe I should drop now and run it next cycle
I’ll probably run just ascension and limitless executive
Today,in the morning i was happy,singin songs and whilst during the breakfast but then a thing about my breathing distracted me.
And when I wake up I could see the effect of Ascension in my self talk. It was clear. Literally very good sub, I listened few days but I can feel effects on me easily.it was the fastest sub that gave me results. even in my first listening I felt the calming
