Furkan's Journal

Journals - Major Programs
#1184

I couldn’t do this today. And tomorrow it’s last chance to make choice about go to university or not. Probably I’m not gonna go. And this is hard choice, because there’s no guarantee I’m gonna make what I want. It’s not easy to keep studying. Especially if you’re in situation like me to be in top 100 from where I am is near impossible. It’s very narrow road.and it’s not easy now I should be more realistic.

I should exclude everything from my life that preventing from high effort, high performance studying.
What is annoying me right now is low back pain. it lowers my efficiency. Too uncomfortable. Despite I’m doing exercises for this, seems like it’s not enough, i should find a solution for this. Maybe it’s from chair but i cannot change this. Solve this. This is important because if I’m gonna fuckin make it this time, i have to sit for a long time daily, and this is not oh bro study less study smart, i need both.
And one thing too, do not fucking complain everything you complain you put yourself in a negative place, don’t b.ching. everytime you complain your testesterone levels drop.

And one thing too, if you ask me what are things you want to be happen:
i would say no fuxkin porn, masturbation
I’m away from pron for a time and i feel better.
Watching porn etc will fuck your ambition, fuck it. Fuck porn.

Bro i have to work hard every fuckin day. Time to be get serious not bitching around. i need fuckin preciesy. Do not fuckin try fuck you, make this shit happen. Make it. What you gonna be?? Fuxjin loser then don’t live don’t call yourself living human being, you are fucking dead.
What I’m gonna do is so fucking hard, don’t tell oh don’t see it like that see it easy then it will be. Fuck this people, what they achieved anything great I’m wondering. This is hard, but if get through this i will be more stronger you have to fuckin handle everything, family,peer, relatives pressure, pain mental fatigue, all sort of pain you have to handle, you must to fuckin work hard. Work. Now . There will be millions of people, 2mln 3 mln idk. But you want to be in top 100 also you failed 3 times. is it easy now? No fuckin no. As i mentioned today make it your goal steptical(is there word like this idk) smaller realistic that you can execute daily, and investigate your beliefs, why do fuck you fail? Why it didn’t happen.
Tomorrow do this and also find a way to solve your back pain, fuckin chair uncomfortable

#1185

One thing too when you start something dont look back, don’t fall back i noticed this year i began to lesson for three times every time begin it was more hard. So if you begin to a thing, make it. like deciding not watching porn again, if you decided this don’t fall again if you so next time will be harder.

#1186

if you don’t make it, your dreams will be only dreams and after for time you won’t be able to dream. You can dream now, use it for purpose

#1187

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#1188

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2 Likes
#1190

i think when you dont indulge with porn, mastubation etc you’re automatically pushed to grow.

#1191

I’m lazy today. i need rest i tried to read something but i couldn’t, i need detoxification

#1192

i chose to not going to university, i will prepare the exam one more time, for the university i want

#1193

i should have to make some plan

#1194

Need clarity

#1195

Use phone less, there are some books and materials i need to make decisions about them because they take too much time and attention i can’t both read them and focus lessons.

#1196

i havent used the phone from the 3rd day of the month, and at the same day i started to study. im studying now but now i feel tired. for the future studies i need more precision. i have something in my mind but they are not certain. best thing i can do is keep studying no matter what but this is not easy.
yesterday i was thinking about this while eating apple. to accomplish this task, i need to be superhuman. it needs 7-8 hours working right now im not there but im working.

#1197

and for the subs im running kbst4,lb, khanst3. next cycle i will run khan st4 and after finished khan i will try limitless, if i cant get result from limitless fuck it.

#1198

in the exam, my ranking was 137k, i didnt study properly. my goal is to be in top 100 out of 2-3 millions people. i should keep studying but mental fatigue showed up already. i havent watched tv for weeks, nor i used twitter etc i didnt enter the forum for 4-5 days. i only go to gym and stuyd for a few days. Am I being too hard on myself? this is just beginning. but i cant give up, if i give up everything will be much more harder

#1199

maybe i should change my gym volume, im going for 3 days of a week. maybe i should reduce to the 2 days. need some arrangments if i make 2 days i should work abs at the home and i dont like it. bcs i can forget it.

  1. chest, shoulder,back, [shrugs, back extension(?)] monday
    2.arms,leg, forearm, friday

wednesday- running

abs and neck at the home???

would it be problem if i train my abs after the day i worked out, because at some degrees my abs will train at that days too

#1200

gym should enhance my life. going to the gym cost me like 2 hours, training shower etc.

im alone and i need gods help. in my life winning this exam is my hardest thing, i have to make this no matter what, i want to see my potential

#1201

i could study for this 2 hours. 3x2=6 hours weekly can i make it 4 hours? with effienciently

#1202

ill try this next week, but dont have too much hope for this

#1203

but i need solutions, not complaining.
i really wonder how would limitless affect me. after i finished this cycle i will run it, b4 khanst4

#1204

also one of the thing make me frustrated is my breathing problem, it effected me really bad at my exam day, i have some worries that it could happen at the next time, i have it little now. how can i solve this?