Furkan's Journal

Journals - Major Programs
#1165

i will try overhead press(military) instead of dumbbell shoulder press, maybe it might lesser my pain.

also i need to do some arrangments about consuming coffe while fasting, because i think this things make my body more acidic, to balance i drink sparkling water, but i dont like too much this routine right now im drinking tea, and yesterday i didnt consume coffe and i was good.

and one of the benefits of fasting is i tihnk it makes you more disciplined im doing this like 2 weeks and i havent watch any porn probably i ejaculated once or twice i dont remember clearly. it has mental and physical beenfits but i should research this more but i dont wanna do it now. but for my current opinion this is the best way having low body fat and lean muscle mass.

#1166

How much is it good idea to listening:
X subliminal one day and Y,Z other day(3subs) and repeat this? Wouldn’t it better let’s say you have 12 days listening, and you listen X subliminal for the 6 days straights and the others for the other 6.

#1167

Maybe you can build more momentum with this.

#1168

You are not in the place you want. Because you are not ready for this. How can i be ready, what should i do think every area, and. Find solutions.

#1169

“And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else.

Where you are right now is God’s place for you.”

  • 1 Corinthians 7:17
#1170

But to progress, first i should accept embrace and love myself but i cant do this

#1171

if i supposed to be somewhere else. I’d be there not here

#1172
#1173

What is the path of my heart. i want to know my mission. i feel myself like a cheater feel insecure because i don’t know where I’m going, or where should i go

#1174

the thing is having belief that you are creating your reality, otherwise you fear etc it puts in you lesser state

#1175

actually im struggling with this now but contrary to before 2 days, today i feel better.

#1176

should i continue with Khan idk. i chose this subliminal because i wanted to utuilize this sub as a leader ,general, sub. i mean i wanted with this sub build and give direction to my life navigate through hard situations etc. but idk now. what benefits i gained from khan idk, how can i gain benefits or is it right sub for me? i dont know.
at my disposal i have: apart from kb,lb and khan
ascension
drangon reborn limit destroyer
emperor black
god like masculinity
legacy of the spartan
limitless
limitless executive
paragon
phoneix
and revelation of the mind
should i change khan with one of these? also i cant buy a sub now

#1177

maybe if i have RoS or DRred i might run one of these over khan

#1178

today i saw something and i was thinking women’s dressing from old times and dresses they dress now.
too different. what i wonder is, what is benefit of selling women to more provacative short clothings, dress etc, what gain industry from this, more money? and women, more attention? they sex sells okay. but i cant connect this each other. everyone’s perspective or stantdarts differnt for me this type of dressing immodest, is industry pushing this to women? or women really aware that when they dress like this they have attention of lustful eyes etc. aware that they provacate lust for most men? probably yes but idk. i get it women have innate urge to get attention from men(dont say innately bad), and (women’s hierarchy based on this), but i think most of the women todays age misuse this

something sometimes make dont sense in my mind, and maybe they dont meant to be. i mean no necessary to make sense. why do i try to understand this?

know what you want and create this. this is what should i do

#1179

i was wandering on x little and saw a woman giving advice about marriage how to find a husband. but in the comments i learnt that this woman was a former prositute and she wrote this her bio and remove now. she is not hones too, she will hide her past, maybe if she is honest maybe i can feel some respect for her but hers coping is about sex, her past is amazing. god make help her future husband.
i dont understand people, while he crictisez men etc trying to display herslef modest girl but she is ex-escort. at least be honest about your past. but i dont understand this people. i think this is hypocrisy.
and even if she is trying to hide her past, i think smart man would understand this with a glance.

her past will remain with her, energies from men she had sex will remain, and effect her along herlife it will effect the psyche negatively.

#1180

What do you want to do instead of university?

Why is that so?

#1181

Nothing. i mean i want to go(consciously) but because of my results i can’t go to university i want, and left there are mediocre universities

Because it means i give up and settle for lesser school.
But right now i don’t know mentally I’m more stabile and feel better than the day i wrote this but I don’t know what to do there’s only 2 days(last day Friday) to make choice.

i don’t want to go any lesser school because i have more potential than this. And also i don’t want prepare again becaus i really exhausted from this process. in last summer i wanted make it this time and i was motivated, i both worked at a job(for summer) and tried to study at the same time but i don’t know why i couldn’t do it i quit the study.

i should figure out why I’m failing

#1182

you say i want x , i want that etc. but are you really believe that you can achieve this? no. if its so you would’ve made it. so work on your beliefs what do you beleive about this subject, and make it your goals more realistic, more smaller. this what i should try on, i will try on this today i hope i can get some results.

and one thing about also exhaustion and tired, i feel. its because i thought that i have to achive or make things happen or im worthless, stupid.

trying to show that you are worthy (even to yourself) is exhausting process.

and it puts too much pressure

#1183

I’m on khan ST3 now after this I will run ST4. I may run ST4 for a long time or switch it to limitless

#1184

I couldn’t do this today. And tomorrow it’s last chance to make choice about go to university or not. Probably I’m not gonna go. And this is hard choice, because there’s no guarantee I’m gonna make what I want. It’s not easy to keep studying. Especially if you’re in situation like me to be in top 100 from where I am is near impossible. It’s very narrow road.and it’s not easy now I should be more realistic.

I should exclude everything from my life that preventing from high effort, high performance studying.
What is annoying me right now is low back pain. it lowers my efficiency. Too uncomfortable. Despite I’m doing exercises for this, seems like it’s not enough, i should find a solution for this. Maybe it’s from chair but i cannot change this. Solve this. This is important because if I’m gonna fuckin make it this time, i have to sit for a long time daily, and this is not oh bro study less study smart, i need both.
And one thing too, do not fucking complain everything you complain you put yourself in a negative place, don’t b.ching. everytime you complain your testesterone levels drop.

And one thing too, if you ask me what are things you want to be happen:
i would say no fuxkin porn, masturbation
I’m away from pron for a time and i feel better.
Watching porn etc will fuck your ambition, fuck it. Fuck porn.

Bro i have to work hard every fuckin day. Time to be get serious not bitching around. i need fuckin preciesy. Do not fuckin try fuck you, make this shit happen. Make it. What you gonna be?? Fuxjin loser then don’t live don’t call yourself living human being, you are fucking dead.
What I’m gonna do is so fucking hard, don’t tell oh don’t see it like that see it easy then it will be. Fuck this people, what they achieved anything great I’m wondering. This is hard, but if get through this i will be more stronger you have to fuckin handle everything, family,peer, relatives pressure, pain mental fatigue, all sort of pain you have to handle, you must to fuckin work hard. Work. Now . There will be millions of people, 2mln 3 mln idk. But you want to be in top 100 also you failed 3 times. is it easy now? No fuckin no. As i mentioned today make it your goal steptical(is there word like this idk) smaller realistic that you can execute daily, and investigate your beliefs, why do fuck you fail? Why it didn’t happen.
Tomorrow do this and also find a way to solve your back pain, fuckin chair uncomfortable