These nightmares are the result of your subconscious attempting to clear the deep-seated fears related to the subliminal programming.
i found this from help section. This could be. Also i heard a woman’s voice, like she was trying to instruct me
what am i going to do the road is not easy
desires and beliefs. close the gap
My parents arrived and i noticed that during their absence I’ve never missed them, My relatives only lower my mood state, i am so alone,i feel lonely and stucked with my surroundings.
i was outside for a short timr saw a fee women, and felt bad. Beacuse like they display themselves as a product to consumed, sexually.
i felt bad. Maybe it’s reconciliation from khan, idk.
But these are not the women i want. But first i need to leave here, progress, i couldn’t go to university yet. What I’m doing, why i can’t progress significantly.
i haven’t indulged pmo for a time. i don’t know the exact time. Of course it feels good. But like a few days urge came but i dodged them by being present. Now I’m not stabile mentally
i was reading a book for a time, its called parallel self of universe, something like that. generally i like the book, but there is a chapter like core of teaching, book. technique called p.u.r.e. its steps are:
1: deciding what you want
2. relax be silent, de-identying
3. receiving, seeing desired reality
this is the tricky point for me author say, dont force yourself to create something images etc rather than recieve version of desired self. but it comes to me passive approaching, and approaching like dont create too much feelings for me, like its not authentic for me and as if im limiting myself like this. and i dont enjoy it.
4.Enter the New Viewpoint
rather looking at to the desired reality as a observer, seperate, desiring person, look as the person, immersed with that reality. enter.
.
5. Rest in Fulfilment
In the hours, days and weeks after simply rest in the new viewpoint, rest in the
fulfilled reality. This means that you don’t try to “make it happen” because you
have already claimed it as real. You don’t affirm, visualize, repeat or wait for it.
You don’t hope for it to come in some future. Simply cease
to behave in a way that presupposes that it is not already so
something like that i wrote it shortly breifly except 5th section. but idk i generally like the book(still im reading) but this chapter of book is little disappointing for me. i didnt like it
i should work on my manifestation skills. about my power.
my mother was taliking to me about my exam result etc, she said go the university, etc. i said nothing bcause i dont want to say anything. i really should solve this issue, it really giving damage to me. its one of my main problem. i dont want to go bacuse i dont want to ordinary job, dont wanna 9-5 sitting job, being officer etc. i dont want, she said your not bad kid nor stupid. idk. i dont want to go beacuse i know i have potential. im more than that. but i coulndt make it i coulndt study, its not i stuied hard, or i studied from the beginnig to the end. i couldnt study properly, this is the one of the reason i dont want to go because i havent seen my potential yet. what can i do, i dont know beacuse i didnt push my self about this. and why? why i didnt push my self. why i lived same scenario every year. god why??
i dont know, i feel like there is someone inside who is dead, broken. why do i live? what for.
i dont want to do anything now i feel too tired. yeah i dont want to go university this year too, but i dont want to preapre the exam again too. im 21 but already feel like im failure. i can go a university near me (relatively) but this is not exactly what i wanted. by doing this doesnt mean i give up my dreams, desires, lowering my standarts?
my goal was to be in top 100 students in my area but im no where close to this. i have no strenght to resist more. what would happen if i accept the lower hand. can i have my dreams my desires then?
i was dreaming be in top 100 students going to best uni in my country. having scholarship because of my success, gaining some money in the uni, financial freedom, having a smart beatiuful virtous gf etc.
but if choose the universtiy this year proabably i wont have all of this. no money no fiancıal freedom so you should work also study. porbably wont have gf like i want, first of all beause i wont be my ideal self, probably there would be no magic in my life.
i dont know. why am i like this, why is my life like this, im like a tradegy, i dont supposed to be here.
but why do i fail? there is something but i cant figure out, there is something i cant understand this i live same thing every year.
and reaeding from new agers, like “you can have anything you desire” complete bullshit. you desires and belifes are should be matched. your goals desires should be practical.
Maybe khan black and love Bomb doing something for me but i don’t know what doing is khan. Or what I’m doing for it.
i hate the construction of the society, corporate life
They say “don’t wonder the “how”, don’t question it” but i don’t know.
But i know this that i fall so low
i dont believe no more the things like you came to the earth for success joy, you born for the glory blah blah etc. what im mostly experiencing is limitation and struggle
for a few days ago i was saying to my self that i should love life etc now life is difficult
money, girls, corparate life, media, industries, hypcrotical moral views, societal narratives.
education should guide the soul towards the good. but the education nowhere near this, even its contrary.
ive watched some of seasons of californaction before, but i quit it at time, because the series began to felt me bad, the atmosphere of the series(degenerative). but i read a review about this today, and the writer said back at time there were a few place like california but with the social media and internet now everyhwhere is california.
probably its true.
also i read something about families but ill write about it later
i would want to teleport and see ancient greek or live in there for a time.
yes i know potential, people seems as smart person(idk if i am ), but i feel like this environment or time wrong for me.
My life is a bit chaotic now bcs of university issue.
But there were positive things for me today.
i reached 62kg it was important for me beacuse it proved me that while I’m doing fasting I’m not losing weight. But as i mentioned earlier key point is here consuming same, necessary calories. Not starving.
And i fasted like 18 hours also i went to gym within this hours(around 16 hours mark). interesting thing is despite that i worked out and i was fasting 18 hours when i arrived the home i was feeling full. More full that morning. But afaik after the training sessions, body produce chemicals for feeling full.
Negative thing about today’s training was i felt some paint at my elbows while doing pushing movements. i felt this at the training before this
What might help make life easier for you?