Furkan's Journal

Journals - Major Programs
#958

Now I’m more tend to think that mind is a reciever, so change vibrations but there are blockages, to reach desired point change your vibration rise but to do this clean blockages, so there’s no resistance. But probably this blockages first occured when we were child and we don’t even remember, so we’re trying clean mass of past. So we’re living others beliefs what i live is not my life.
What the fuck I’m doing, i should read something quantum physics get some knowledge but what I’m doing for like 2 years. I’m wasting myself. i failured this year(academically) but next year if i failure again I’m afraid that I’d start to dark things like su*cide.
Actually I’m so angry now so fucking, sometimes dad made me angry, fuck it this situation is so fucking pathetic, fuck god. Sometimes i just wanna scream out.
My life depends on me, fuck this life, my life don’t make sense i can’t understand i can’t fucking understand.
I’m away from pmo like a week but I know i haven’t solved my issues and i will go back to this. i feel trapped sometimes i hate everything
I’m sickenened of hearing things like yeah everything is possible everything is energy, consciousness bla bla you create your reality, Infinity fuck you fuck everything, reality is illusion, fuck reality.
Actually i haven’t had a good childhood, my parents are not intellectual people they just finished the primary school thats it…

Enough

#959

2 days later there’s university exam and fuck it im fuckin sickenening of this yeah i fucking didnt study properly this year too, fuck you. Why I’m living this every year why? i feel my self so bad for this, I’m not living at all. God fuck you, okay fuck you. i cant even breathe properly. i really lost all my interest to this exam, it’s fuckin stupid it waste my energy my potential, and all of this process make me feel my self like stupid not good enough because i stucked i fuckin stucked i don’t wanna live i don’t know how feels living life because i haven’t lived. it doesn’t make sense beacuse probably even from the 1st grade i knew the importance of studying beacuse through i was gonna have a good job, a good life i was knowing this since from the primary school and beacuse of this i studied my ass of, i don’t even remember that my parents told me study etc. Because i studied all the time by my own self I was self disciplined contrary to my peers. but look where I’m here now. After pandemic i lost all my motivation ive changed it was not it was necessary but it’s changed me. i lost all my interest to life. Life was boring for me and still it is.

#960

And running subs like everyday its a terrible idea

#961

There is so many people in the world

#962

Push ups are so boring now, i don’t even count,
to feel something at least i should do like 50-60 and it’s boring

#963

saw something on twitter. The world is really clown and people are so stupid how can I protect myself.
Migration,lol. Why women are more likely to be leftist and men rightist( right wing). Some people needs to be controlled. But I’m sure that people need more positive authoritative people in their family or around them.

#964

Why people don’t try to change the world.
i think with that population it’s not easy. ive thought this at recent days, what would happen if majority people had gone like %60-70 them maybe more would it change so many things, i don’t think, this mass creates unnecessary labours and bad things.
if there would be less people with more high consciousness world would be definitely better place, but with current situation of the world says a lot of about worlds collective consciousness. i don’t want to say people are evil but I don’t know.

#965
#966

A lot of texts say people are equal, we are equal in front of the eyes of God, but i don’t believe that i don’t see any equalness in the world. And i don’t believe people made to be equal it’s bullshit, where is the eqauality, we’re not equals its bullshit

#967

Fucking hypocrites

#968
#969

GO0kXZTXEAA-8R8

1 Like
#970

i read that in the west there is sex ed class and they give this class at a early age also read that in denmark they show porn too, men this is so weird so psychopathic. if i have children in the future i wouldn’t let them to do it on my child. So weird

#971

Lol i learned that even if you use properly condom, i doesnt prevent %100 rate, it has %98 succes rate

#972

i got ejaculated and i have exam tomorrow if i could go to gym early prob i wouldn’t do that

#973

Need to leave twitter, chaotic

#974

i didn’t watch p"rn but I looked some nsfw, thats truth, this takes away my right to rebel, complain

#975

Lol this created some resistance, block now it means that out of100 women 2 of them will be pregnant. Does it make condoms safe? is there anyone experience somthing like this. i mean how can women get pregnant if there is no leakage at condom, i didn’t understand this part. Because it says even if you use perfectly used there is chance of pregnancy about %2

(i stated write this a few hours ago, now i read something else too %2 failure it means, 2 out of 100 couple after using a condom consistently get pregnant, but this data not trustable because you can not trust this 2 person maybe they lied, it’s difficult to measure, and there is a legal issue too a company cannot claim it prevents at %100 succes rate it would be trouble for them) at the beginning i thought even if it’s now ripped it can leak, or even if it’s leaked you could get pregnant.
But it sounds safe

#976

What you gonna do? Exam is a hour later, there will be exam tomorrow too, but what you gonna do i didn’t study for exam i have no expectation, but what you gonna do? What will you say to people to your family? Okay never mind it for a second, what will you do for next year?.;is there a hope? i read now old post i wrote about last year for this time, and it’s same no change. i don’t want to live, I’m a tragedy, comedy, what happend to me, i always was one of the smsrtes kid around my peers, and what happened to me now? God, is this my test? What should i do? Show me the way. Clear blockages, clear my way and give vision.

1 Like
#977

How will i achieve my dreams? Yes, Subliminals are not magic pill if it would be like this i would go to college i wanted, already. it’s clear that it’s not about subs.

1 Like