You still want to washout. If you just continue running the sub, you’ll always be in endless processing.
It is like breathing - in and out. Allow yourself to breathe out.
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… and there is a thing that i wonder about this lets say your imagining a thing that you wanna achieve so then your mind cant make the difference and then will my mind try to match this imaginary tihng with real life so if it is the case what if i imagine things like impossible to do, just some quick cheap dopamines? it is probably useless, fantasazing something.
is this how loa(manifestation) things works? mind try to macth things you visualize with real life?
i was thinking, when you do this visualizing, feeling this and subconscious mind no bounds so it can know future and there are infinte realities so the life or desires you want exist and with that tehniques you are try to awake this state this life, sub mind try to bring this to you
i had nech-haid pain today too same pain same location it was at my neck. i hope i wont feel same pain tomarrow too, ishould go to sleep now, i will write later
9 march 22: time 23:05
ive just ejaculated I haven’t done this for about 22 days actually i was going good bu today i didnt do micrcosmic meditation didnt go gym today or yesterday and i didnt do scripting(yet) It seems to see these as the reasons so, i have to be more careful.
and for more scripting actually i began to enjoy this, an
d there is a question i wanna ask sometihg about: in one session of scirpting can I write in as many areas as I want like status,romace,health or should i focus on 1-2 areas? i actually side of trusting intutions so if youre feeling good enjoy it then there is no problem writing in many areas but i wonder your thoughts…
and there is one thing also i wonder in manifestation, scripting method is it okay to say somthing like this on very specific tihng “im so happy that it didnt happen” ? i know it is not to good writing,saying you dont want but in this your happy or glad to this didnt happen,You want it not to happen, but im little confused with that.
and idecided to listen less minutes of subliminals like 1 min each of them ill try for a week and when i finished 21 days of cycle i will go one week more for 2 subs(phoenix, limitless) or just for limitless without rest then ill take washouts
I did 2 times more pmo last night I wasted too much energy for nothing and then I binge watched Dragonball z to 4 am. I’ve never done this before.
90 days to exam. What will I do? accept the defeat?
No defeat, you’ve got 90 days 
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actually there was something i wanted to write for afew days but I won’t do that now because it will take a time. but in short 2 days ago i was good yesterday bad and today I feel better today than I yesterday. i studied today and trained well. i add new exercise to my program for a few days ago i was complaiing lower back pain beacuse of long hours sitting and day after that i notieced back machine and today started do back extensions i hope it will solve the issue. but with my studies i have to be more serious
vuff, ive just came from some walking. men i fucked up things again i got up early today like 6.30 am, and couldnt sleep after that and did 2 pmo, and It was worse two days ago.i dont know what to say. i actually dont feel bad right now, should i feel bad? i actually feeling nothing towards to my goal i even dont call them goal but things like ishould do i have to do, like my exam time is running out and im not doing so much tihngs to make it, but i dont feel like anything like worry, stress. i wasnt like this in high scholl, elemantary scholl i was taking things so seriously I’ve been putting myself under a pressure. not my parents want me to do it, i was doing it. and then all this led me to depression to burn out. and now the real exam like 86 days away and i dont feel anything like worry anxiety.
are my feelings so important? that what i feel?
and as you can see for the last few days I’ve been having trouble controlling my sex urges.
there are questions in my mind for a while, I’ve got to put an end to this, they are coming when i feel bad maybe when they come to my mind then i feel bad (usually fleeting) idk, when i feel good i dont see them but probably they are still there
washout-day2— 16 March 23:59
today was little strange and point to this day meh. first i had a nightmare it was strange like sometghing tried to possess me, and after that I had a little trouble sleeping after that. and i got up late around 9-30-10 am. it was bad because yesterday i was planning to get up early and study, getting up late ruins my productivity and killing me its one of the obstacles i should solve this at least i should wake up before 8am. and then I went to the village to help my grandmother and it took my hours and energy. after that i couldnt study properly i studied little. but yesterday night and morning i was hopefuş my study but now i dont know, what was made me hopeful positive i dont remember clearly i will think that tomarrow. but weird that today i saw my (old)high school math teacher on my way to the village, i didnt like her very much and saw my old crush(high school) she should be at university by now, maybe he’s back on holiday.
most important thing is i should full focus on my studies,There are a lot of things that are trying to distract me, but i should focus on my works its so important, I’ve been overlooking it for the last few years, but it’s really important. its not easy, its hard and i have to make through this, its hard and i should win. I shouldn’t have anything else on my head mind this. Because anything else will be a hindrance, it won’t serve me.
and for a few days i have knee pain its little annoying me,
and good nights its getting late
today was not so good, first i got up late like 10 am so i slpet like 10 hours, and now time is 00:30.
i should get up early, and physically i wastn good either had some stomach area pain.
like 20.30 i watched some football match i didnt watched 2nd half fully took some walk and after i arrived home i checkedout match we won(fenerbahce) but after what happend was crazy it wasnt good.
but it was something else that took up most of my time and attention, It had already come to my mind a few times before. first i felt bad because of disinformation but then I felt better because I was reading something that seemed more truth. but today it came again because iwas reading somethings about gateaway experince. the thing is loosh-farm analogy. …i have too much sleep rn… it comes from robert monroes far journeys book chapters 12-13. first its not some archons steal our enerrgy and i dont like word that is “system”. probably people projecting their own fears darkness with this. this people are stupid and something evil.
but i wanna say something about this but i dont know its tricky and i dont know too much deepl and time is late i cant think clearly.
but in loa, new age stuffs everyone say the universe wants you to happy, having all your dreams etc maybe because when you be happy then universe has some benefits from that like symbiotic relation. idk idc, idk maybe i care but rn i dont feel good. thşs is why I said that studying and winning this exam is not easy.
i wanna be normal, healthy, succesful nothing too much i dont want shape shifting to wolf or dont want laser coming out of my eye like superman.