Furkan's Journal

Journals - Major Programs
#464

i returnd from gym, i didn’t take my earbuds, and take my phone with me while working out and i finished my workout noticeably faster. This surprised me because normally i don’t play phone too much during workout i was just listenin music from a playlist, i wasn’t even changing song, interesting.

And I’m getting a little more forgetful lately. I gave a blood test for it. Today i re-asked a thing trainer in the gym he explained nicely, and that time i understood, i said okay thank you, but after i turned back i was like forgetting what he said, and confused i don’t understand myself sometimes.

And today I don’t know, i was going to write about this before but later have up. Today i saw girls in the gym and the way they dress seems manipulative to me, actually generally women’s dress nowadays.

#465

I’ve started to spend my days empty maybe I need rest dunno

#466
#467

I had a strange dream, it was so real. there were nine days left before the exam and I was in hopeless desperate situation I was feelin bad as fck. And I was asking myself can I achieve this in 9days. I woke. I woke up from this dream and when I woke up it was 4 o’clock in the morning and I had no sleep at all. I think that’s when my survival mechanisms kicked in. But I slept after this

#468

And I have slight back pain idont know what cause this. Probably sitting on the chair. Now that I’m dropping paragon, I have to take better care of myself. I was doing some stretches but seems like not enough, I have to search this and I’m hating it

#469

I have to take my lesson from this, the dream was like reminder

#470
2 Likes
#471

I’m beginning the new cycle it will be;
Khan Black St1, Emperor Black and Phoenix. But I will run phoenix 7 days later. I was questioning today that really EB is the good choice for my lesson. I’ll re-read sales page. Maybe i run LE or limitless next cycle maybe. But I ran LE before I don’t exact number but it was around 4 months(maybe more) and nearly I didn’t see any effect

#472

studying starts to feel pointless,meaningless I’m forcing myself to study and productivity is low. but still i cant excape from this exam. it’s going to have a huge impact on my life.idk.
there were things I should have written here before, but I don’t have the energy to write.
and I’ve had lower back pain for a few days, probably it’s from sitting in a chair for a long time. I’ve been exercising for this and it seems to have gone away a little today. i hope it will go away completely in a few days

#473

i dont wanna put myself in a negative state. because i know bad things come one after the other. when you think; everything is already bad enough, it can’t get worse, and the moment you think you’re at the bottom, it gets worse. there is always another layer to fall somewhere underneath, no limit. I’ve been through this like everyone else. but but I think the reverse should be true too. Good things come one after the other. it must be like this. but idont feel good, i feel empty

#474

i frusrutated, looked nsfw reddit stuffs and jerked twice. im not saying anything myself to anymore

#475
#476

Haven’t even watched the movie but I’m obsessed with music edits including this song. They just hit different!

1 Like
#477

i havent watched too but musics are good, ludwig göransson has done a good job.

#478

Day-7
I listened 2 min EB, 2 min KB
and 2 min Ascension Chamber.
Next listening day I will able to play phoenix. I’m wondering how phoenix will effect me

And is 2 min enough should I play longer idk. But yesterday I told myself I shouldn’t play at longer time

#479
#480

pain didnt go away not too much paiın but it annoys during my studies, and i jerked off today too it happens when i feel hopeless desperate or stucked idk. maybe phoenix would help with my emotions.
there 5 months to exam and i want to be in top 100 students out of 4 million(approximatly) at least top 500. for the thing that i want for my future, i have to achieve this.but fuck still i don’t have a properly planned study. im just studying math-2 yes it is the most important part of exam and im working this from most hardest more accuratly from best preapared materials(and it takes my time) but ignore rest of lessons.

#481

i listened 1:20 min Phoenix, its the first time
@Forum_Ambassadors Is there too much difference between listening to a subliminal for 1 minute and listening to it for 1 minute and 20 seconds? I generally trust my instincts in this regard.
example im listening a title for 2:27 min and at that time i have a feeling to stop there, is there a benefit to going to 3min

1 Like
#482

This is okay. For microloops, you can use your intuition. As long as you are listening from the beginning of the subliminal each time.

1 Like
#483
1 Like