Is what I think is bad really so, or is it society’s programming and deceiving people? How do you make the distinction?
I don’t feel myself normal. I wanna be free
Maybe there is something that I am not aware of, or maybe I am afraid to admit even to myself, about my goals and objectives. I hope not, because I don’t want to do that thing. It was past, I should create new things
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Day-16
I listened 5min Emperor Black, last 2 times I listened full loop, and I think it gave me recon
And I don’t know if I should add sanguine or sanguine:elixir to my stack. I need some optimism, get rid of negativity etc etc… I need to contemplate, I have to spend my money wisely. What I want from these subs(Sanguine line) instant effects,results I can’t wait for this 3 months
i wasted my time today, I seem to have lost the positive feelings I had a few days ago. i should’nt get lost in thoughts and fantasies. I need to put less stuff in my brain. i was feeling good because i was hopeful about my future And I had a feeling I was going to make it. i need to create this more powerfully
F40 this car so beautiful, exciting me.
Can I own this car one day?
this is my last chance i have like 7-8 moths, i actually feel good when i study but i dont know fuck. I still haven’t made a plan to win
day-16
7 min emperor black
i dont know if its recon but im feel angry
I haven’t mentioned it yet, but maybe my biggest problem is about my sexuality I’m reading Khan Black’s sales page for a few days. it exciting me but i don’t know it is right time for it? i wanna run but i started to study, i am studying now, I don’t want my productivity to drop. And i have traumas, i don’t know how Kahn black will hit? I was sexually abused when I was a child. And if it comes to the surface i don’t know how to deal with it.
And i can’t breathe properly, it’s fucking annoying me
For next should i run Emperor Black with limitless executive, i run le for 4-5 cycles before and i didn’t see any considerable effect should i give a chance again? But i don’t feel also i started to study so there will be challenges should i buy sanguine for this, i need positivity. Does running Sanguine:elixir reduces the Emperor black result or slower it?
i am planning to go to gym next week, I’m bored, I need to get out of the house, I don’t want to feel weak anymore, it annoys me.
i mentioned about my shoulder issue before. i talked doctor I said there are noises and sometimes oh man fuck them He didn’t even examine me properly, he said your mri okay thats it. I said I still hear a noise in my shoulder and he said it’s not important. i don’t if it hurts when i started lifting weights ,for now there is no pain.
i feel myself like alien to this people,world.
Alone
this 2 months are very important for me, every fucking day. i don give my %100, no motivation ethusiasm or whatever the fuck. there are 7-8 months and this time will fly by, i know it.I feel like I’m not gonna make it. yesterday i was keep telling myself i need to be calm, but i dont know
i dont understand anything but she has beatiful voice
gerçekten bir gün sevebilecek miyim, kendime layık birini tam istediğim şekilde bulabilecek miyim, aşkı tadabilecek miyim, ruhlarımız birleşecek mi? saf bir aşk, masumca
içinde bulunduğum bu durumdan kurtulabilecek miyim? bu bir ya hep ya hiç durumu, yeniden yükselebilecek miyim? yoksa vasat bir hayatım mı olacak? benim hak ettiğim bu değil, kim ne derse desin.
i feel myself more energetic today(i am in washout)
i studied my lesson. And today I realized that I overestimated the lessons, i can do it. My issue is lack of practice and i have to be patient for this. if i can’t maintain studying it will be pity for my intelligence, i am smart. But problem is, yes i worked good today but if i can’t do this regularly every day then there’s no point working well today, loses its meaning. So my number priority is studying regularly even it is 1-2 hours. And i have to accept my where i am now, if i can’t make high scores i have to be patient, I have to accept and going forward.
And I am exciting and little confused about my next stack, cycle. Ofc there will be Emperor Black but for a few days heavily I am thinking running Khan Black. I haven’t buy yet but Probably I will add this to my stack.
The part that confuse me (for 3rd sub) should I run paragon, limitless executive or sub from Sanguine series. idk 
? Or none of them
New cycle - new day
Khan Black ST1 - 3.15 Min
Emperor Black -5 Min
Actually I just wanna run these subs for this cycle, but I started to gym I might need paragon and I have breathing problems sometimes. I don’t wanna 3rd sub because I thin it will slower my results