Furkan's Journal

Journals - Major Programs
#293

Sexual urge isn’t bad, lol.

If you go to the gym and have high testosterone, eat a rich protein/fatty diet, etc… your libido will be insane. This is normal.

Masturbation every now and then, without visual stimuli, porn, etc is not going to destroy you. That’s just a sexual release, same as a wet dream. Or you can sexual transmute, whatever.

The problem is the pornography because it’s rooted in toxicity, low self-worth, etc. If you can’t quit it cold turkey, then you might want to seek some professional help or try and target it with healing subliminals.

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#294

Have you seen Gary Wilson’s documentary “Your Brain on Porn”?

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#295

No. …

#297

20 min meditation

Actually this day should be 1 day of washout but today I listened 30sec LBfH. I listened too much subs at this cycle. But now I am thinking running solo Emperor Black for next cycyle.I want to see how this feel.

#298

@RVconsultant can you change my journal’s name to “Pergen’s Journal”

#299

I was calm after meditation but a few min ago I read something and it makes me feel bad,insecure.
Just fuck it

#300

I like this

#301
#302

I ran Emperor Black for 11 min. Today 3rd day of the cycle like I mentioned before i will run only Emperor Black for this cycle, I’ve dropped RoM,DR:LD and paragon.I have to get up, build momentum. I think I will make more progress in the short term with this.

And i don’t know if it’s from emperor black but today I am feeling more aggressive, I was driving car more faster and I was watching researchin something today And it was like there were bursts of anger inside me, I got angry in the moment.
I will do meditation soon and I will try pranayama breathing for the first time before meditation

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#303

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#304

Rest day
I did pranaya for 5 min and 20 min meditation after. And I gotta say this pranaya helps with pmo.

I lost control, I was doing it almost every day.then I read pranaya helps with sexual transmutation, I started doing this and I haven’t do pmo since and I don’t have strong urges to do pmo.(for 3-4 days)

but still I don’t think it’s actual solution for porn, okay maybe I won’t watch porn and Reddit’s nsfw stuffs for a long time
But I think problems is more deeper,and I have to study this, I have to fully understand this illusion, do some introspection.i actually know what I have to do but I am delaying.and I know if I don’t solve this completly,if I don’t get to heart of the problem. it will hit more deeper later it will come back worse

But nevertheless I learned that pranayama helpful for sexual transmutation and i’ll keep doing this, it’s more helpful than meditation for stopping pmo

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#305

And how can I be emperor without sexual transmutation, how? I think it’s crucial for emperor black to work

#306

I was reading hagakure’s first chapter but I don’t know really should I read this? There might be some useful informations but it seems like waste of time I think it has low roi

#307
#308

I don’t know but I felt good today.
I went to the dentist I suspected 2 tooth decay but hopefully she said you’re okay. But also she said she had to remove my tooth wisdom. But I will do this summer not right now. (Because it’s my exam year rn)I don’t want to have my wisdom teeth removed, but it seems like there’s nothing else can I do
For a few days ago I asked support this and I got reply today

Support

Hello,

Thanks for reaching out to us. Paragon is designed to work on healing and improving various aspects of your physical health and well-being. While it has shown impressive results in various areas, it’s essential to understand its limitations.

Wisdom teeth that have erupted incorrectly or are causing problems may require a specific medical or dental intervention. It’s possible that Paragon can contribute to your overall health and well-being, which might indirectly help your body deal with various health issues, but they are not a replacement for professional medical or dental advice and treatment.

If you have concerns about your wisdom teeth or any dental issues, it’s strongly recommended that you consult a qualified dentist or dental care professional who can provide you with a proper diagnosis and recommend the most suitable course of action. Dental issues often require specific, hands-on medical attention, and it’s best to address them through professional dental care.

I hope I was able to provide some helpful information today. Thanks again for contacting us and please feel free to reach out to us again if you have any other questions. We’re always happy to help!

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#310

I finished the book, as I expected, neither too good nor too bad.

#311

I was thinking about my exam.i was thinking I am going to fail this exam like last 2 exams. Actually I am not telling myself that I’m going to fail but I feel something like this. I asked my self why I failed these two exams but I couldn’t find a clear answer, solution. Each year had Its own problems so I couldn’t find a clear answer
Yes, each year had it’s own problems, but these years also had one thing in common, I had no Intrinsic motivation
I think I should forget this last two exams,I don’t feel good or motivated when I think about these…

The past is past, I have to focus today and tomorrow (future), to what do I have, and what do I want

#312

This exam important cuz if I don’t go university again I have to military and this is big big problem
But today I went to the doctor for my shoulder,I had an MRI and an X-ray, etc and he said there is no big problem with your shoulder, just a hurt. But he said you have curvature in yoUr spine and said it’s not big problem, but you can’t go military with this.
I actually don’t trust doctor with last thing he said

#313

Saat geç oldu artık yatmam gerek iyi geceler :crescent_moon:

#314

I did 10 Min pranyama but no meditation, I don’t wanna do meditation recently

Chains of past… I have to let go of this( I see myself as a loser because of my past mistakes and I don’t know if I can I really say they were mistakes, but I was lazy)
I am 20, there are things need to be done and time is passing, I need to be serious about growing
but I have no life purpose, do I really need now this, to get things done?

I have to listen myself, I have to analyze the things I’ve written in my diary(offline) lately and the books I’ve read. Don’t escape, ego… fuxk it

And I am not brave, no. I have to put myself out there, at least I need to gym because I feel myself weak. I need to be strong pyshically and mentally

Do I really want to change? If I really wanted to, maybe I would have changed already. What do I mean by change? What I see as change, I can’t do directly right now? What’s holding me back? Am I honest to myself, I’m stepping back

Would it be a good idea to add elixir to my stack?
I want to write here whatever I want, my concerns my fears, no matter how stupid is

1 Like