7/4/2023: Day 3- Stack 1 - Cycle 1 - The Aesthete
In my last journal, I mentioned the ANGER that kept welling up within me as I approached washout. It’s emotional transmutation scripting. That anger, that burning rage, is exactly what gave me the idea and confidence to start a business. Also, the sales page mentions starting a business more than once, Genesis is working its magic.
Updates on the Changing Self
I noticed a distinct and total transformation of the way that I behave and feel around my family, suggesting that I’ve changed more than I knew.
Full Update
Yesterday I visited my family for the first time in months. Physically, I felt like absolute garbage, because I’ve been chronically sleep-deprived and not really dealing with it. But I noticed that I have shifted and shifted in a big way. Normally family brings up behaviors, memories, and attitudes like nothing else. Being around family, many times we “revert back” to a version of ourselves that we don’t like. Not the case last night. I didn’t “revert” I actually transcended to a newer better version in the moment.
The old me would have quietly stood around, miserable and annoyed, and waited until I had been there long enough that I could leave and get back to my life. It’s like I would actively resist enjoying myself around them.
The new me cracked a beer and started dancing with my nephews to liven the place up. As I write this, I now realize that last night was the first time that I’ve actually acted like a good uncle in my life. I was making them laugh, playing around, and having fun.
Later that night, as I was trying to drift off to sleep, my mind began to race. For the first time since having the idea to start a business, I started to feel a twinge of doubt and fear. It’s tough to put into words, but it was almost as if I could shift between different versions of myself and the different perspectives they held. From one perspective, I was nervous and doubtful–an older version of me–and from another I didn’t give a damn and saw no reason to just do it–the newer version of me. These two versions were tugging on each other in other areas too: women, friends, and self. I could see the new version of me seemingly in conversation with the old version of me. And I, the observer, felt like I needed to choose one. I chose the new version, the one I’ve begun to build with Genesis and RoM.
I chalk this experience up to the interplay between RoM and Genesis. Genesis has completely altered my ability to connect with the deeper aspects of my mind. I think I was “watching” the reconciliation process happen. It makes sense, in the moments before sleep, the line between conscious and subconscious is thinner because the brain hasn’t shifted back into the beta state.
Stack Planning
These experiences have left me with a sense that I should probably run Genesis for a little bit longer, perhaps another two or three cycles following this cycle, bringing it up to a total of 5 or more cycles of Genesis. As always, I can’t forecast what changes will happen or how quickly, what I can say is that for now, I’m dedicated to Genesis. I also have a pretty distinct feeling that the more time I spend with Genesis, the more fruitful my run of EoG will be. Heaven only knows.
Time for Adonis.
So, I’m thinking…
Genesis (primary)
RoM (secondary)
Adonis (physical shifting and romance)
Adonis Update
After waking up this morning, given the events of yesterday, I think it’s time to build Adonis and I now know why–I’ve been on Wanted too long as my primary physical shifter, I need to shake shit up.
Actually, Wanted has really been my ONLY physical shifter. I think that if I shake it up, then I’ll start getting better physical shifting results, and when I return to Wanted later, I might be better able to make use of it.
But then again…ehh, I’m committed to The Aesthete for now, but Adonis is on the horizon.
