Here’s what I would encourage you to experiment with.
Rest days as rest days. NOTHING on rest days. No Ultimas.
Try that.
Thank you for being open to listening to less. We want you to success with as little stress as possible.
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Day 54/180
I had a dream where I stood up to my father who was being an asshole. This turned into a major fight with tears and a loss of voice.
At work I am noticing a lot of inner rage and am becoming less tolerant to bullshit. I still attempt to be tactful but only to a point.
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Just a suggestion, try not running a booster and/or running AM every 3rd day or even less, and see how it effects your focus.
As I read your journal, it sounds like your further and further grappling with what you perceive as in the way of your success and quality of life experience and singling in on resolving that.
In my theory and experience this kind of focusing in-is very much reconciling, because the sub is focusing you on it to resolve it to move forward or realize you don’t need to resolve it to move forward–
just some 2 cents for what it’s worth
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Just so I am clear you think I should do a schedule like below?
Day 1 subliminal
Day 2 rest
Day 3 rest
Day 4 subliminal
Repeat
Yes, I’d give that a shot for one week/10 days and see what happens.
Day 55/180 rest day
I feel a very intense almost burning sensation in my chest area and when I truly feel it a swarm of confusing emotions enter my brain.
My anger from yesterday has dissipated pretty well from yesterday.
Did not work on the business at all.
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If this intense anger continues over the next few days, please submit a support ticket about it.
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The anger has subsidied.
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Day 58/180
I just feel so lost and lonely despite having a fantastic and loving relationship with my wife and great friendships. I have been quite melancholy the last few days. This seems to be on a cycle and happens at least once a quarter. I go feeling great take action, drop in enthusiasm, just survive, self loathe a bit then do it again. This happened even before subclub.
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Day 59/180
I notice a rising anger and irritation when I am doing things I do not want to do like chores and any activity I get dragged to. However there is a part of me that sees this as the “ego’s” anger and not my own.
I was talking to my wife about the differences I felt between Stark and AM. In Stark I felt amazing about life. It was one big party, but I neglected the details and working on my business. However on AM I notice more action towards my business and things that need to get done but I am much grumpier.
She told me that she noticed I have become much more responsible and I do things with less complaining. She also noticed that I am nice when helping her out because of her ankle being hurt.
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Which subliminal are you currently running?
Ascension Mogul with a booster Ultima.
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Day 60/180
Trying a new style of meditations. I am working on my inner peace and effortlessness instead of meditations directed towards something. I will lean on the subs for direction and focus on inner peace.
I have come to the realization that all the pain I was experiencing the last 2 weeks was a blessing in disguise. I am being forced to look inward behind my thoughts and experiences to discover the real me, the divine spark within to begin examining my thoughts and feelings from a different lense. Even though I feel I haven’t been taking enough action towards my business, I am taking action whether I like it or not to reform myself from within. The pain is what got me to take this road of looking in not out. It got so much that I could not ignore it anymore. That is what I call the spark of transformation.
I really really wanted to switch subliminals, I am glad that I did not.
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Ascending Mogul or Ascension and mogul ?
Which Ultimas do you useas booster? Am using Executive currently along with ascending Mogul as major program.
I am using the Ascending Mogul and was running Executive but I seemed to hit a giant wall so now I’m running limit Destroyer Ultima.
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Seems to hit giant wall… what do you mean ?
Actually right now am using Executive.
Limit destroyer with am is great especially for nofap journey.
I feel like there is this huge barrier that is between me and a successful business in my head. I keep seeing almost black nothingness when I think about business success and escaping my 9 to 5. I’m starting to see cracks of golden light peak through but it gets covered back up into darkness. I am not purposely visualizing it, it’s just there in my head.
Essentially I have hit a brick wall in my head. I keep banging my head against it to no avail.
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Day 61/180
At therapy I came to realize how bad my inner confidence is. It could be one of the reasons I have so much inner turmoil while running these subs. My heart feels very tense at times with a burning sensation. My therapist says this is normal since there is a theory that trauma can be stored in the body.
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Day 62/180
I have become a bit more jaded and unethusiastic about life. It’s like the colors have dulled. I am making the decision to add Stark to my stack and run AM + Stark.
When I previously ran Stark life was a lot more colorful and enjoyable instead of a grind. I am hoping the grit of AM plus the Vibrancy of Stark will be good building blocks for my future.
My business requires a lot of creativity and fame certainly wouldn’t hurt what I am trying to accomplish even though my inner Introvert does not want fame. Maybe I am just afraid if it. Sometimes it’s good to face your fears and run straight at them.
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why did you stop?
Stark is also boosting wealth and mind right
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