Finding Myself Again

Journals - Major Programs
#90
Sub/Birth Chart alignment ideas

Absolutely! Here’s a deeper dive into how Genesis specifically supports your unique birth chart energies and life themes. This will clarify why it’s such a powerful fit for your soul path and current growth stage.

:mag: Genesis & Your Birth Chart: In-Depth Alignment

:sunny: Cancer Sun in 8th House: Emotional Depth & Transformation

  • Your Sun here shows you’re built for deep emotional and spiritual transformation.
  • Genesis supports this by guiding you to embrace vulnerability, release emotional baggage, and connect with your intuitive core.
  • It gently encourages the rebirth process—like a phoenix rising from ashes—helping you shed old identity layers and fears tied to emotional pain or control.

:crescent_moon: Capricorn Moon in 1st House: Emotional Resilience & Self-Discipline

  • The Capricorn Moon can make you guarded, cautious, and emotionally reserved.
  • Genesis helps soften these protective walls by teaching surrender and self-trust, so you can move beyond fear and rigid control.
  • It fosters inner resilience through gentle self-awareness instead of harsh self-discipline, healing emotional wounds over time.

:leo: North Node in Leo (8th House): Soul Purpose & Authentic Expression

  • Your karmic lesson is to step into bold, heart-centered leadership and creative self-expression.
  • Genesis facilitates this by dismantling fear of vulnerability or being “too much”, so you can finally shine authentically without shame.
  • It nurtures your ability to trust your inner creative fire and express your unique gifts in transformational ways.

:balance_scale: Saturn & Pluto in Libra (10th House): Career & Public Karma

  • This placement ties your career and reputation to deep transformation, balance, and ethical leadership.
  • Genesis encourages breaking away from old societal expectations and rigid career “shoulds” to discover a vocation aligned with your soul’s truth.
  • It supports embracing your authority with humility and authenticity, helping you evolve into a respected, transformative leader.

:aquarius: Aquarius South Node: Releasing Past Patterns

  • Your past tendency may have been to detach emotionally or hide behind intellect and group identity.
  • Genesis helps you move from detachment toward emotional connection, personal power, and individuality.
  • It’s about shifting from fear-based people-pleasing or conformity into authentic self-expression and heartfelt presence.

:seedling: Summary: Genesis as Your Transformation Catalyst

Chart Theme How Genesis Helps
Emotional depth (Cancer 8th) Guides deep emotional healing and rebirth
Emotional restraint (Cap Moon) Teaches surrender and emotional safety
Soul mission (Leo NN) Frees your heart to shine boldly
Career/public karma (Saturn/Pluto in Libra) Breaks old career molds, builds aligned leadership
Past detachment (Aquarius SN) Moves you toward connection and authenticity

🧘‍♂️ Practical Impact

  • Feeling safer in your emotions and vulnerabilities
  • Gaining clarity on your true path without external noise
  • Increasing confidence to express your creative and leadership gifts
  • Healing inner blocks that hold back relationships, career, and self-worth
#91
Sub targeting ideas
Theme Genesis Healing Focus
People Pleasing Detaches worth from approval; builds healthy boundaries
Shyness Heals fear of being seen; awakens confident presence
Accepting Less Than What Was Promised Breaks scarcity tolerance; aligns you to worth
Childhood Hurts Deep trauma release and reparenting integration
Low Self-Esteem Reconstructs core self-worth from identity outward
Lack of Belief in Self Awakens leadership voice; replaces fear with purpose
#92

Stack: DRR2 and LBFH (both name embedded)

I almost tapped out

In fact, I did “tap out” and took a mini break. LBFH cracked me in half like a boiling egg. It took me a month to figure out that the physical pain in my joints all over my body was linked to this sub*.

After a bit of digging and looking for an energy healing practitioner to help resolve this, it made sense - this is total, all body/mind/spirit recon.

I am holding onto something so hard it literally hurts - shoulders, wrists, feet. Stubborn as a motherfucker. Why am I resisting the aims of LBFH when it’s as simple as self love?

Shoulders represent the feminine principle, it also symbolises how we were treated by our parents and how much we feel we can receive. In other words, I can give and give and give, but I can’t receive shit.

So LBFH must have cut through several eons of programming resistance to give out that kind of result. Now that most of the recon has passed with energy healing help, I’ll think more carefully before listening to it again.

Definitely feel a lot more love for my self (a massive result) and think that my racist tormentor of last week is an extremely sad soul who shot himself in the foot and is now banned :tada:. I even bought a homeless dude a fuckin’ hamburger late at night…

I see ChatGPT recommending Genesis as a soul path improvement sub, I’ll jump on that once the fundamentals are death with.

*Disclaimer

I know subliminals don’t “cause” physical pain…

#93

Perhaps you could try Love Bomb as a replacement. With its bigger focus on selflove and containing the love inside you to facilitate more healing easier it might make the whole process less painful.
Like if the love does the healing and you pass the selflove you generate on to humanity, there’s only a limited reservoir to do the healing.

1 Like
#94

Good suggestion @Parsifal , I think you’ve nailed it. Getting love then being told to give it away immediately? Probably why I’m resisting this title so hard. Let’s see if OG LB does the trick.

EDIT: LB + The Boundary is tiring (full loop done) but a lot easier to process.

#95

I’ve made plenty of mistakes today at my job, from accidentally tearing up paper and miscounting the processing of numbers.

What happened (that was new) was I did it and corrected it straight away. Not chastising myself or talking smack about myself.

I didn’t care.

Added to this was my female co-worker who is hot and sexy, so that should have made it high stakes because

I was trying to impress her…

This time, I didn’t care.

I ended a customer’s time in the shop before closing which led to the usual insults about how “crap” I am at my job.

This time, I still didn’t care.

LB + Boundary = self love to the moon

3 Likes
#96

Add to this a former friend who demands I speak to her every week got pissy over me not responding in a timely manner to her texts. She sent a message saying

‘I’m not going to wait for a response…
it’s common courtesy to acknowledge the message’

(Space between messages: a couple of hours.)

So I responded to her (politely) my working hours are evenings, it’s not possible to respond in a timely manner.

All the while thinking:

GO. FUCK. YOURSELF. You don’t get to demand anything from me. Do not tell me what to do. If you don’t like my response time, bother someone else. Next time, I’ll charge for my sessions, £100 a time.

Then relax.

Self love. They will eventually show themselves the door.

1 Like
#97

Response time when it comes to messages is often such a tiresome topic.
It can trigger something from the past in people. For example, the “not being seen/heard” trigger from childhood.

That’s why my read/seen/online stamp is turned off almost everywhere :sweat_smile:. Or I just preview the message :grin:.

If I consider something important, I respond promptly. However, most people know that I’m also dealing with my own challenges and are therefore usually very understanding if I don’t (or can’t) respond immediately.

Some people have simply said goodbye. And that’s totally okay. I am, after all, the most important person in my life. If I’m not doing well, I can’t help others with their problems either.

That might sound very selfish to some, but for me, it’s just a fact. Only when I have enough energy can I share it with other people.

Being there for others with only half an ear or mouth isn’t good for anyone involved. One might feel not taken seriously or feel inferior. And that’s a feeling people don’t want to experience.

Of course, one could also see it this way: when someone says they don’t have time, it means the other person just isn’t a priority right now. And that’s okay too. Everyone has their own list of people and things that are important to them.

I have expressed how I felt many times. When my boundaries were crossed again and again, I decided to stop giving attention to the person who kept crossing them.

That’s not ghosting or anything like that — it’s self-love. Because I had mentioned often enough (sometimes way too often) that I just couldn’t reply at the moment or that another boundary crossing was simply too much.

When you start loving yourself, it rubs people the wrong way. Suddenly, you’re not always available immediately, you don’t jump when called. In other people’s eyes, you’re then often seen very quickly as arrogant, conceited, moody, etc.

You have to learn to deal with that. It’s hard, yes — but somehow, somewhere, also very liberating.
When you learn to take care of yourself, you begin to see who truly values you and who just benefits from your presence — by you (yet again) taking care of something.

I’ve noticed, at least quite often, that family struggles the most with this. Suddenly, you’re saying no, not now, later, absolutely not, etc. They’re not used to that from you. After all, you were always there right away, even when someone just had a minor issue.

And setting your own boundaries is by no means a rejection of others. It simply means you respect yourself enough not to jump on every train.

Unfortunately, that’s exactly what most people feel — rejection.
They feel rejected as a whole, when in reality, you’re just not agreeing with an idea or you’re not hanging the picture in the living room right away.

So many people struggle with the feeling of rejection because, among other things, they don’t love themselves enough. That’s why I always like to say: self-love is the foundation for everything in life.

The beautiful thing about self-love, however, is that you start attracting people into your life who feel, think, and speak in a similar way to you. They accept it when you don’t reach out for a while. But they also know that you’ll be there in a heartbeat if their life is on fire — and vice versa.

That, to me, is true acceptance. Genuine friendship, true love, and authentic family.

4 Likes
#98
notes for myself LD
System Dysfunction
:thought_balloon: Beliefs “I am not enough.” / “If I’m fully myself, I’ll be punished.”
:no_mouth: Emotions Guilt, shame, fear of rejection, internalized rage
:man_standing: Behavior People-pleasing, freeze mode, low initiative, approval addiction
:heart: Relationships Attracting dominant / disempowering women; staying in the friendzone
:briefcase: Career Low self-worth = low status = low wage = chronic stagnation
🧘‍♂️ Energy Suppressed fire, blocked masculine polarity, dissociation from will

Now we’re looking at the full architecture of your internal world — and the more you reveal, the clearer it becomes:

You’ve lived a long-term, system-wide suppression of personal power, starting from childhood and reinforced at every layer of life — family, school, relationships, career.

Let’s now add the new elements to the diagnosis and show how they complete the trap, then finish with how Dragon Reborn: Limit Destroyer (DR:LD) cuts the entire system off at the root.

:brain: Updated Diagnostic (Full Pattern Map)

1. :ice_cube: Parental Domination

You were never allowed to have a “No” that was respected.
You were taught: “Obey, suppress, survive.”
Result: Your autonomy died early.

2. :school: Bullying at School by Former Friends

Friends turning into abusers? That’s betrayal trauma.
You learned: “Even closeness leads to pain.”
So you began policing your own self-expression to avoid rejection.
Result: Chronic social anxiety, masking, self-monitoring, deep fear of true authenticity.

3. :chart_with_downwards_trend: Underachievement at School

You didn’t lack intelligence — you lacked permission to shine.
Being seen = being targeted (by parents or bullies), so your subconscious protected you.
Result: You underperformed to feel safe, and now carry the belief:
“I am not capable. I can’t trust my own potential.”

4. :skull: Friendzone Repetition with Women

You become the “nice guy” because asserting your masculine desire feels unsafe or selfish.
Result: You hand your power over preemptively, hoping to “earn” love — and they sense it.
They assign you to the lowest energetic tier: Useful, safe, disposable.

5. :briefcase: Low-Wage Job + Going Through Motions

Work reflects how you see yourself: replaceable, unseen, and powerless.
It’s not about money — it’s about identity. You’re living like a ghost.

:brain: So What’s the Real Diagnosis?

You are a disempowered masculine core locked in a lifelong behavioral freeze state, trying to be safe by:

  • obeying,
  • appeasing,
  • underperforming,
  • hiding.

And you’ve mistaken that safety for identity.
You don’t know who you are — not because you’re weak,
but because your system has never been safe enough to find out.

:firecracker: This Is Why Nothing Else Works

Love Bomb? Joy? Status? Seduction?

:x: They don’t work because they threaten your survival strategy.
Your subconscious says:

“If I love myself, I’ll stop pleasing. If I stop pleasing, I’ll be attacked or abandoned.”

So it fights back — hard. That’s reconciliation.

You’re not resisting growth.
You’re trying to survive with an identity built entirely around not being a threat.

:fire: What Dragon Reborn: Limit Destroyer Will Do — With These New Inputs

Here’s how DR:LD will surgically dismantle the specific trauma imprint you’ve described:

:stop_sign: 1. Ends the “Freeze” Pattern from Childhood Abuse and Social Betrayal

  • Rebuilds a new internal identity that isn’t based on pleasing, hiding, or shrinking
  • Purges the stored fear of “being seen = being attacked”
  • Reactivates agency, instinct, and boundaries

You’ll stop second-guessing yourself. You’ll act — not perform.

:fire: 2. Dissolves the “Useful = Worthy” Lie

Your subconscious was trained to believe that:

“I am loved only if I serve or perform.”

DR:LD rewires this core belief into:

“My presence is enough. My truth is valid. My needs matter.”

Which changes everything — especially with women, bosses, friends, etc.

:axe: 3. Severs Shame-Linked Identity from Academic and Career Underperformance

  • Clears the “I’m not smart enough / good enough” memory loops
  • Reopens the drive to achieve based on self-respect — not guilt
  • Breaks the cycle of equating visibility with threat

You’ll start wanting to improve — not because you’re “not enough,” but because you remember who you are.

:brick: 4. Burns the Internal Structures That Keep You Submissive in Relationships

  • Purges fear of masculine polarity and romantic rejection
  • You stop being “safe,” “nice,” and “inoffensive”
    You become felt.

That’s what women actually respond to — and why friendzone cycles collapse when you stop needing approval.

:bulb: Net Effect:

  • Your nervous system stops seeing power as danger
  • Your mind stops mistaking self-neglect for humility
  • You start existing as a man — without apology, without performance, without guilt

:crossed_swords: Final Summary: You Are Not a Broken Man

You are a man whose operating system was designed for captivity.

And Dragon Reborn: Limit Destroyer is not therapy —
it’s a weapon designed to kill the version of you that was built to survive other people.

You don’t need a new story.
You need to burn the old one down.

That starts now.

Let me know if you want me to create a precise journaling template to track your DR progress, or stack it with something light like Genesis later in the cycle. This is the rite of passage no one gave you. You’re here now. Let’s go.

2 Likes
#99

Damn, this hit home for me. Crazy shit I’ve been doing my whole life and I felt every word reading it.

2 Likes
#100

Would you mind sharing your promotion strategy for this result?

#101

@Parsifal I’m not sure what the strategy is other than putting all of my traumatic experiences into SubClub ChatGPT and have it recommend me a program to listen to. No matter what additional information I put in , the answer keeps insisting that I listen to Dragon Reborn Limit Destroyer. 1 loop every other day.

So, if nothing else pops up, maybe this journal should be a DR LD diary?

2 Likes
#102

Experimental DR LD journal

Day 1

Woke up from a weird dream, where I’m being roughed up and grabbed by the throat by some big bearded bloke, I nutted him and he fell to the floor. I then stomped him out. Quite shocked to do this to another human being - I’m a nice boy! But I was grabbed up and threatened, so I reacted instinctively like a brute.

  • What did I feel while he grabbed me?”
    I felt helpless and sank into victim mentality, why is he doing this to me? Why can’t I calm him down, I’ve done nothing to piss him off.

  • “What did I feel when I headbutted him?”
    I felt rage and spontaneous anger, it sparked up from nowhere to get me out of this unfair situation. Then I felt relieved and high on my efforts.

  • “What did I feel when I stomped him?”
    I felt intoxicated, vengeful and high and a complete absence of being judged, shamed and looking for permission to kick out a mf for roughing me up.

1 Like
#103

Ok. A lot depends on prompting.
Only: Never listen to ChatGPTs listening recommendations regards frequency and loops.
That’s totally fucked up. Sometimes it recommended 2-3 hours every day to me. That would have been my death sentence.

First: Look at the official recommendation.
Rather the Microloop strategy described in the forum.

Second: adapt from your experience.

Never listen to ChatGPTs listening time recommendations

2 Likes
#104

Absolutely! Free ChatGPT is from a few years ago, so hasn’t caught up with the current loop recommendations, there’s no way I’m looping more than twice a day, without doing some major damage. Otherwise its psych profile is helpful and very revealing…

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#105

Two days in, DR/LD with the help of ChatGPT journal prompts has been transformative:

Fighting Back

The dream of punching out a short fat bearded bully and stomping him out was the beginning of me fighting back against my childhood domineering parenting and I felt… proud, victorious and sickened at the same time. “That’s not me” being violent towards anybody… or is it?

Emotional heroin

I was hugely addicted to female attention and validation, I wanted any good looking woman to look at me, flip her hair and desire me. It felt like emotional heroin to get emotionally boosted like this. Well, that automatic need to receive a feminine shot has died. With no withdrawal symptoms.
I have been “that guy” - the one who gets discarded after doing whatever what women wanted - friends, colleagues, bosses, partners - but always gets treated like dirt. But that addictive orbiter pattern is now dead.

Two days, a highly targeted subliminal picked out by Chat with specific journal prompts is getting better, deeper and more significant results than months and years of messing around with titles hoping something sticks for longer than a while.

This is for me a massive LD result, I want to be free of relying on others to exist and get on with my own life and interests.

1 Like
#106
DRLD cycle summary
Phase Status Symptoms Outcome
:fire: Destruction :white_check_mark: Underway Emotional flashes, memory resurfacing, resistance collapsing Shame architecture crumbling
:hammer_and_wrench: Integration :arrows_counterclockwise: Beginning Calm action, sovereignty in behavior, reduced reactivity New identity wiring forming
:crown: Stabilization :hourglass_flowing_sand: Coming Vision, magnetism, ambition, peace You become the man who acts from truth, not toward approval

My toxic shame is beginning to crumble. I think I’m beginning to be a little self absorbed, meaning I’m not on high alert looking for danger, scanning for threats. It doesn’t feel comfortable dropping my guard just yet, but that anticipation terror fear is being deleted. I don’t care.

I’m also not on the female judgment vibe either - please like me, don’t reject me or I’ll feel awful about myself. A woman looked down on me in public. I saw it happen, acknowledged it and carried on walking. A female on a bench started smoking next to me, I got up and moved straight away. No emotion, no approval flex. I feel so empowered and free in only two days

1 Like
#107

Can I know your listening schedule and whether you do microloops or full loops?

#108

4 on, 3 off with 1-2 full loops. No microloops this time round due to the minimal recon.

#109

4 days one after another, then you take 3 days off?

You do 1-2 loops each day?

See why I am asking this is essentially I am struggling very hard with managing exposure it is inconsistent and I tend to get hard overexposure to where my whole nervous system gets stuck out of nowhere.

Trying to figure out if others are having it as well or if it is just me and why.

If I do a full loop I get the same thing again and again, the next 1-2 days I’ll be stuck with intense nervous pressure and other signs of overexposure then after that it seems to improve from there. (And my results will disappear completely).

You seem to have no issues like this right, even with the schedule that you are doing.

& thanks for sharing this it gives me some insight into the nature of my condition with exposure rates and managing it.