Finding my True North

Journals - Major Programs
#544

Stark contrast

I’ve just received some terrible news from a close friend of mine and she needs an operation in hospital. Luckily it’s not Covid related, however I’m in floods of tears. She is my soul sister.

Add to the general panic and fear over the virus, plus my hospital work assistant being forced to self isolate due to working…

I’m changing tack. Good, giving people are falling ill through no fault of theirs, whilst selfish cunts like my family are hoarding AND hiding food away from me.

I’ve had enough of the sugar coated bullshit. Time for serious action.

Bought StarkQ, stacking it with Khan ST4. Time to fucking stand up and be counted.

7 Likes
#545

Corona Revelations

It sounds perverse to say, but thank God for this outbreak: I’ve been waiting to thrive in an environment where people have no choice but to care and look out for each other.

  • More people are much kinder and socially aware of each other:

  • Self centred, aggressive people have now been exposed for the cunts that they are.

  • I get to finally fulfill my caring leadership role in an environment more suited to my caring personality

  • People now respect and love the Health Service

  • Making an actual difference to people’s lives, not just helping spectators get drunk for stupid event shit.

  • Everybody is now equal: status, money, titles, swagger, fame DON’T MEAN JACKSHIT. Corona don’t care who you are.

StarkQ Khan initial results

  • Emerging playful cocky confidence

  • Side effect of working in a hospital: the hot young nurses have spotted a “real man”, I look like one too

  • Having less fucks to give anyone else: I’m on my shit, either play ball nicely or fuck off.

  • Taking the lead AND following alongside my colleague on equal terms.

  • Being shown the ropes as new agency staff, within two days, my supervisor falls ill with suspected COVID. So:

  • Having to learn how to cook and serve food to patients by myself within three days and absolutely killing it.

  • Guaranteed income for the next two months.

1 Like
#546
#547

Beautifully written @Malkuth.

Also, to the point of “there’s levels to the shit” - confidence and other traits can vary from one day to another. And that’s okay.

But, to me, the deepest thing that establishes a baseline persistent confidence is action and experience. Experience anything enough times, and you’ve already told your subconscious that it will be okay. But you’ve got to be consistent and push through temporary failures to get to eventual successes and then your subconscious averages it all out and decides that regardless of the outcome, there’s nothing to be feared, only to be experienced. “Action expresses priority” - Gandhi (I personally think what he meant was action expresses priority, to our subconscious, in turn, to express our reality)

All of this is easier said that done. That’s where subs/self-talk/other tools help. Everything we do/act/think informs our subconscious which in turn informs our reality. Some more so, some less, some in different ways.

Hope this woo helped or made sense.

Amor fati. :slight_smile:

2 Likes
#548

Bro are you using Aegis as well? @Michel

2 Likes
#549

@mecharc oh yeah, my bad. AEGIS sub is part of my stack too.

There are a substantial number of COVID patients in my hospital, every time I felt the beginnings of fever and tight chest, play AEGIS overnight, it has saved my ass.

4 Likes
Main Disc. Thread: Aegis Initiative: COVID-19
#550

Have you reported this to S.S ?

2 Likes
#551

Yes, more details would be extremely appreciated, if even if you have to offer them in PM.

#552

@SaintSovereign done via PM

#553

StarQKhan™ Qan Qorrupt

Day whatever

So, as sure as horseflies on shit, being too nice and accomodating gets you turned into the local lackey bitch. Even in this current situation.

Staff have been springing new conditions on my work, so much so now I’m entering a potentially dangerous COVID ward with little option to refuse. I’m simply contracted agency.

So, thanks to StarkQ (or the modelling behaviour of the senior nurses and staff) I’ve begun to say NO:

  • No can do for now.
  • Not right now
  • “I understand but I cannot right now”
  • Let me run that by ____

On Khan previously, I discovered the right to exist as a human being. StarkQ has challenged me to dare have the right to say "I exist, I don’t give a fuck what you think about me, you ain’t shit".

Having others playing with my health in this way has me questioning my original decision to help out. If you don’t help yourself, no one’s going to help you.

In other words, don’t be a bitch.

Believe that you have self worth.
Others aren’t above you.
No-one is allowed to look down their nose at you.
Additionally, do not automatically worship others (looks or status).
Do not look to others to rescue you.
Do not go over and above for anyone.

10 Likes
#554

StarQKhan™ Qan Qorrupt

It’s pretty difficult to describe the effect of StarkQ in concrete tangible terms.

The main thing I’ve notice is:
Better sense of self purpose

When your on your own self purpose, you’re driven by it. Anything outside that (irrelevant bullshit like opinions of others) gets filtered out. Purpose gives stronger self confidence.

StarkQ is like “Shiny Happy People” from REM, the sunny B-side to all of their melancholy music.

6 Likes
#555

Hospital leading
All of a sudden I’m mentoring new agency staff at the hospital, despite myself being two weeks fresh. I’m seen as a “quiet” leader, others respect me and life is good (COVID and lockdown excepted). StarkQ is pushing me to be a little more confident with staff.

The ex returns
Two years ago I was left in the dust by a girl I pursued. We shared a lot however, she ran off into the sunset with her on off thug boyfriend.
Now she’s back. And I don’t give much of a toss. Being ditched is great, as you develop the mental strength of a motherfucker.

Can’t decide between waiting for KhanQ or going to SMX now to boost sexual energy. Any ideas?

5 Likes
#557

Those subliminals have different goals, one is solely for sex (skills) and pleasure enhancement and the other is for seduction and domination.

StarkQ feels pretty sexual for me in general, more than EQ for sure. Maybe even only a bit less than Khan, but on Stark I am consciously thinking more about my longterm future and career than about women. Taking this all into consideration, I would probably stack StarkQ with SMX or PS if I want to enhance the seduction/sex effects even more.

But why not pick up both?

4 Likes
#558

@friday that’s what I’m thinking, maybe go for a SMX stack since StarkQ fulfils most of my needs…

Ah, lockdown is such a bitch. :sweat_smile:

3 Likes
#559

Bad day at work, dropped in the shit last minute with no help, trying to cover both ends of a hospital ward by cooking food.
On 5x 12hour shifts, extremely tired and patients complaining of cold food.

I lost my shit.

Going backwards on this journey North. StarkQ was supposed to give me a push. Not to break me in two.

3 Likes
#560

Do you think this could be reconciliation, probably an area starkQ is adressing that your previous subs had not addressed?

1 Like
#561

@mecharc I gave out, it’s too much bro.
It’s more like StarkQ saying “haha you got thiz lol” and turning it up to 9. I want people to be satisfied when I work, complaining pisses me off.

So many things came at me:

  • People shouting to STAND BACK two metres
  • Mother panicking to cross the road - kids saying “you’re overreacting”
  • Going into COVID wards and getting attitude off nurses (yes, really!)
  • Family deciding to break my radio set (?)

So yeah probably reconciliation!

#562

Bro, I didn’t understand this

#563

@mecharc

Anyone running StarkQ will face many challenges, for the path of becoming a world impacting visionary is no easy one. You will face many manifestations that will test you and help you evolve who you are

It’s just StarkQ messing with me.

#564

So it’s things which are helping you evolve

1 Like